"A constellation of tears on your lashes.
Burn everything you love, then burn the ashes."
- Fall Out Boy [My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark]
For an entire moment, all I did was stare at the flames, standing stock-still like a mere statue. Then I felt a vicious tug on my arm, and Zayn was pulling me towards the exit. "Let's get out of here!" he yelled, dodging a painting as it toppled onto the floor near us.
"What about Jack?" I yelled.
Behind us, I could hear Head Crowley screaming something incoherent into the mic. Rather than trying to quiet the mass panic, it appeared he was yelling for people to clear a path so he and Council could escape. I tried to hide my disgust. Some leader he made, trying to save his own sorry butt without a single thought for others.
Then again, was I any better?
Sliding to a stop, I tugged on Zayn's hand. "Wait! You go on without me! There's someone I have to help!"
He stared at me in incredulment. "You've got to be kidding- Valarie! Get back here!"
Heedless of his shouts, I tore my arm from his grasp and began shoving my way through the crowd, all of whom were desperately pressing for the exit. I felt a blast of scorching wind sear the top of my head as the demon dove overhead, lighting a trail of flame behind it. A male angel let out a scream of terror as the edges of his suit caught on fire, filling the air with the choking odor of burning fabric.
Tearing my eyes away from him, I tried to get myself to focus. And no, I wasn't going back to save Jack--I trusted him to take care of himself.
It was Amary-Rose I wanted to save. She'd rescued Zayn and I, and I was determined to make sure she made it out of here alive.
Reaching the stage where Council had been seated, I scanned the area frantically, finally spotting her. She was at the back reaches of the crowd, as far away from the sole exit as possible. Her kind blue eyes were watering as she coughed and hacked; as I watched, a rude young angel shoved her to the ground in attempt to propel himself through the dense mass of angels all vying for escape.
Rage bubbled in me, and I raced over to the elderly angel's side. "Amary-Rose!"
Shock registered on her face, chasing away the pain. "Valarie? What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice betraying nothing but disturbance and fear at my appearance. "I didn't save you just so you could play right back into Crowley's clutches-" She broke off as another shuddering cough racked her fragile body.
Helping her to her feet, I snapped, "That's not the point. Put your arm around my shoulder and brace yourself." With that, I bulldozed my way into the crowd, attempting to clear a path.
It was harder than it sounded, though. Yes, I considered myself quite strong, but compared to the frenzied panic of angels... Well, there were several occasions where I nearly came crashing to the floor and brought Amary-Rose with me. Swearing under my breath, I tugged my heels off and began swinging them at people's heads.
"What are you doing?" Amary-Rose asked, clearly horrified.
I felt the slightest bit of guilt as I whacked a black-haired angel with the blunt of my shoes. "Trying to save our lives!" I yelled back, my voice hoarse from the air, which was quickly filling with smoke.
In all honesty, I was beginning to think it was never going to happen. The masses of angels was endless, and my mind was beginning to grow cloudy from smoke inhalation; it didn't help that Amary-Rose was a dead weight as she leaned against me, hacking and sputtering for oxygen. Nearby, the demon knocked a screaming angel to the floor, its teeth going around her arm with a killer preciseness. The sound of her screams echoed in my ears, and I felt my stomach heave; I fought to keep down the waves of nausea.
Zayn appeared out of the smoke so suddenly I thought he was a mirage created by my nonfunctional brain. "I'll take her," he yelled, his voice grating and gravelly as he swung Amary-Rose into his arms effortlessly. Giving me a shove, he called, "Run, Valarie!"
Having no choice but to blindly obey, I clawed my way through the crowd, hardly noticing as I staggered out the door of Charoum Hall and out into the frigid air. Steps uneven, I fell against Cyphus, who was standing with Louis just outside the entrance. "Shh, you're okay," the ginger angel whispered, lowering me so I was sitting on the cold grass. "Everything's okay."
Except it wasn't. Charoum Hall was still burning, and there were people inside, with the demon.
Dying. Being eaten and burned alive.
I let out a mangled sob as I felt Zayn lay Amary-Rose on the ground beside me, her form still and limp, but breathing.
All around us, wide-eyed angels huddled in ragged clumps, their gazes glued to the flaming remnants of their once great city hall. Louis stood off to the side, a grim expression on his face. "Guess we didn't need the smoke bombs after all..." he said, obviously still in shock. "I- That was a demon."
"Yeah," Zayn said grimly. Turning to me, he voiced my thoughts, saying, "I thought Kordin was the last one."
Letting out a low moan, I buried my face in both hands. "How many are there?"
"Do you think Klaus sent this one?"
"Probably," I said.
Louis frowned at the two of us, clearly wondering what the heck we were talking about. Before either of us could explain, we were interrupted by a yell of rage. Turning, I saw Head Crowley himself, making his way towards us. Defensively, I stood up, brushing bits of grass off my skirt. The others stood too, all except Amary-Rose, who had just opened her eyes and pulled herself into a sitting position.
The podgy man who'd approached us looked furious, his dark eyes smoldering underneath a pair of impossibly thick eyebrows. "You!" he roared, pointing his finger directly at Louis. "You brought that demon here, you repulsive rebel! This is all your fault!"
I felt my heart pound in my chest, blood pumping through my veins as I watched the scenario. I didn't notice at first as Zayn's fingers locked around my wrist, but the next thing I knew, he was dragging me away. "What are you doing? We can't let Louis be arrested!" I yelled. "It's not only his fault, it's ours-"
"Are you insane?" Zayn hissed, standing so close to me that I could smell the singed cloth of his suit. "Crowley held our Questioning trial, remember? If he sees us, we're dead."
"But what about our friends?" I asked him, and his lips pressed into a thin line, lost for a reply.
Together, the two of us fixed our gazes on where Crowley continued to scream at Louis. Two Enforcers had come up behind the podgy Head, menacingly jeering expressions on their faces, Sectrums clutched in their hands. I felt my stomach dropping as I saw the glint of malice in their eyes; they were ready to kill, if need be.
It was in the middle of hurling accusations at Louis that Crowley noticed Amary-Rose, his fellow Council member, staring up at him with wide eyes. A disbelieving gasp escaped his lips, interrupting his tirade, and he exclaimed, "So it was true! You've sided with the rebels!"
"No-" the older lady began to explain herself, but before she could, a white-clothed figure elbowed Crowley out of the way.
"Then you must've been the one to let Zayn Malik and Valarite Chase go," Shay Woodley snapped, leaning down so she was breathing directly into Amary-Rose's terrified face. Beside me, Zayn tensed, his fingers closing around mine. I tried to savor the reassuring warmth of his grasp, even though cold fear was trickling down my veins.
"Shay, we don't have any proof-" Head Crowley began, dabbing sweat off his shiny forehead(I had no idea how he could sweat when it was the Arctic zone outside, but somehow he managed).
His warning was too late, though. Even from where I stood, I could see the flash of moonlight on the gun barrel, moving too quicky for anyone to stop. Shay lifted the Sectrum, and Louis flinched back, his blue eyes large, obviously not realizing what she was going to do. Cyphus lunged forward, trying to pull his friend out of the way.
And then, with accuracy and no guilt whatsoever, Shay shot Amary-Rose Gryffon straight through the heart.
I'd seen someone shot by a Sectrum before, back when Shay had stormed the club and slaughtered an innocent bystander to make an example. But nothing could've prepared me for watching Amary-Rose's body jerk back uncontrollably, blood slickening the grass beneath her, the kindred light leaving those beautiful sapphire eyes.
Someone was screaming, screaming like they'd been shot, too. I didn't realize it was me till a few seconds later, as I plunged headlong towards Shay. I didn't know what I was going to do, just that I needed to do it, because I couldn't do nothing.
The blonde assassin still wasn't aware of Zayn and I's presence, and so I managed to take her completely by surprise. The Sectrum skittered carelessly across the grass as I bowled her over--but my advantage didn't last long. Cursing loudly, Shay proceeded to deliver a punch to my jaw that made me see stars. "Guards! Buffoons! Arrest her! Arrest him!" she screeched.
Suddenly, I realized what I'd done. I'd just thrown myself back into the clutches of Council, in one incredibly stupid move-
Then I felt Louis' hands on the back of my coat, and he was dragging me off Shay and away, weaving his way through the crowd of panicked, shell-shocked angels with surprising deftness. We rejoined Cyphus and Zayn; Zayn lifted me into his arms, and within the next second, we were airborn, lifting off into the night sky.
Twisting in Zayn's arms, I looked over his shoulder, back at the disastrous scene we'd left behind. Charoum Hall was still outlined brilliantly in hot flame against the night sky, while the mystery demon did figure-eights overhead, fire still emitting from its mouth in little puffs. And if I really squinted, I could make out Amary-Rose's prostrate form, lying on the grass, abandoned and alone.
Tears marred my vision, and I felt a sob catch painfully in my chest. She hadn't deserved to die. She'd saved our lives, and she'd paid the ultimate price for it.
This was all my fault.
* * *
After the night's exhausting events, there was no way any of us had the patience of mind to sleep on the couches of the nurse's lounge at Charoum Angel Hospital. As such, two 'o clock in the morning found us camped out in Renee's bedroom; she didn't live far from her workplace, and moreover, she didn't mind having all of us crowded into her little, tidy apartment.
Cyphus and Astral sat on the pair of matching cream chairs by the window, Zayn leaned against the wall with his eyes closed, and Renee and Louis sat on her bed, their arms around each other.
Tonight had been cataclysmic, and no one wanted to be the first to speak.
"So. What happened to Jack?" Renee finally asked.
Jack. What had happened to him? The thought should've caused me considerable fear; had he burned in the fire? Was he lying dead somewhere, now?
I should've been scrambling to my feet, determined to hunt the entire city of Charoum in order to find out he was okay.
Instead, I remained apathetic and numb, swallowing down a lump in my throat.
When nothing but silence greeted her words, Renee gave a small sigh and pushed herself off the bed, pulling Louis with her. "I'm going to the kitchen to make a snack; you guys have been through a lot tonight, and heaven knows you could use some rest and food." Her tone was fighting to be light, but I could see the shroud over her eyes as she studied our forlorn expressions. "Come on, Louis, Cyphus."
Both boys followed her out of the room and towards the kitchen. Clearing her throat, Astral absently hooked a piece of silvery hair behind her ear, studying Zayn and I. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.
"We should've listened to you and Renee. Amary-Rose is dead, and it's all my fault," I managed to choke out. With that, I felt the real tears come, hot and heavy and much too fast for me to stop them.
Ashamed but unable to stop, I covered my face with both hands, giving in to the gripping sobs that seized my body; my heart was hurting uncontrollably, and I wondered for a second if it was possible to just die of anguish. All I could think of was the sweet caring in Amary-Rose's eyes, when she'd told me about falling in love with a human, then having to pay for it by watching him die. I thought of the way Zayn and I wouldn't even be alive right now if it weren't for her, and I cried even harder.
Face twisting in pity, Astral stepped towards me, then paused. She threw her sapphire gaze over to where Zayn stood, watching the whole thing with a wretched expression. "I... Zayn, I think you should stay with her."
He jolted. "Are you sure?"
Some sort of hidden message seemed to pass between them, and Astral bit down on her bottom lip, taking a deep breath; it looked to me as if she was making a decision she knew would cost her later on. Giving a forced smile, she whispered, "I'm sure. She needs you." Casting me one last look, she turned and made her way out of the bedroom, leaving us alone.
No sooner had she gone than I felt Zayn's arms around me. With a wheezing cry of despair, I flung myself against him, letting him hold my shaking body close to his chest.
The others could sympathize with us, but ultimately, it was us who'd been captured by Council, mocked and ridiculed and wounded. And it was us who Amary-Rose had died for; the dark cloud of guilt hung over both of our heads.
So I huddled closer to Zayn, because he was the only one who could possibly understand, and let myself utterly go. Because I was tired of pretending any of the events of the past few days were okay with me. And I was done being 'strong'.
I was done.
A/N: I actually don't have a super-long message to put here for once; I just want to say thank you, thank you so much for every vote and comment--and for putting up with my shitty writing. I love each and every one of you.
Dedicated to @takeliamhome for the sexy cover on the side, and because I love her dearly.