Chapter Six (Lucas' POV)
I woke up, sick and dizzy with a mild headache, but even then, I wasn't entirely awake. I felt the room give a little whirl and I opened my eyes a slit. I was surprised to find that I wasn't just lying in my bedroom, but Blake was there too and practically holding me in his lap. He was fast asleep against the wall, his head tilted back and his eyes closed.
What was he doing here? Why was he touching me?
But he wasn't hurting me, I reminded myself. In fact, he was holding onto me as if he refused to let me go. I tilted my head a little to look up at his face. I think I said something, but my voice was muffled and my tongue felt too big for my mouth.
Blake shifted a little and his head fell to the side, resting on mine as he murmured something I could barely hear, but it sounded like 'five more minutes'. I raised an eyebrow, then reached up to rub at my eyes, wincing at the headache that shifted to my forehead. My room was mostly dark, except the open curtains, letting sunshine pour in thin rays across the room. It was almost eerie, but peaceful at the same time.
I hadn't felt this comfortable in a long time.
What happened last night?
The last thing I could remember was Ethan and I at the Halloween dance. After that, everything was a blur and that sent me into panic mode.
What happened? Where's Ethan? Why was I home? I thought Ethan was supposed to come over after the dance too? Or maybe I imagined that part? Why couldn't I remember anything? What's going on?
I shifted a little, my body feeling heavy as I tried to inch off the bed, but Blake's arms around me held me in place. As soon as he felt me tugging on his arms, he jerked awake with a startled gasp. I jerked my head to look at him as he blinked sleepily, trying to wake himself up.
"You're awake." He stated. I nodded slowly, but even that hurt my neck and my throat felt so dry and sore. I felt like I'd been struck by a truck or something. Blake shifted a little and slowly, reluctantly, let go of me so I could inch toward the edge of the bed. I went to stand up, but my legs seemed to suddenly go numb on me and before I knew it, I was falling over.
Blake was off the bed in an instant to grab me under the arms, helping me stand. I felt a moan slip past my lips as my stomach churned and twisted. I'm gonna puke, I realized in agony, feeling that choking bile rise up from my gut.
"Puke." I managed shakily. Blake nodded and helped me to the bathroom quickly. I just barely made it, hunching over the toilet and pretty much barfing up enough food to end world hunger. And I hardly ate that much, so why did I feel like I ate a buffet? I trembled, sinking to my knees as I gripped the toilet seat, feeling spittle dribble down my lips. Blake stood by me the whole time, getting a strip of toilet paper to wipe my mouth.
"Uhn," I paused, then went on, "Where's.... Ethan?" A shadow crossed Blake's face as he withdrew from me to throw the toilet paper away, flushing the toilet in the process.
"Don't know. Doesn't matter now, Lucas. Do you think you can stand? We should go get you something to settle your stomach and we'll talk then, all right?" He asked calmly, studying me to make sure I'd be fine.
I struggled to stand at first, but I managed to stay up on two legs without toppling over. I practically stumbled and limped to the bedroom again, but I was fine on my own for now. Blake seemed very hesitant to leave the room, even after we were sure I was fine. When he finally left, I shut the door behind him and locked it before I turned to take my sweatshirt off.
For some reason, I just realized it was ripped. I stared at the straight, but jagged cut in my sweatshirt that went from the neckline all the way to the pockets. Looking further down, I saw my pants torn sharply so I could see my skin through the tear as well as a glimpse of my briefs. It scared me more than embarrassed me.
What happened last night?
I kept repeating the question in my head as I stripped down and decided to shower first. The hot water just stung my skin instead of soothed me, so I hurriedly soaped down and rinsed off before getting out. I tore on one of the black college sweatshirts Blake had given me with a pair of plaid pajama pants. I dried my hair off, pulled the hood of my sweatshirt up naturally and went downstairs.
The smell of bacon, eggs, and syrup made my stomach growl viciously. I had just vomited half the world's supply of food and now, I was ready to eat all that and more. Most people wouldn't even think of eating after that, but I wasn't easily disgusted.
I hobbled into the kitchen, pausing by the archway to peek inside. Devin was at the stove, but he looked exhausted and dark circles patched under his eyes. His clothes were all disheveled and I swore there was a rip near one of the shoulders. His hair was a mess and despite the cheerful sun pouring into the house, he looked depressed.
I saw Blake sitting at the table, still wearing his snug leather jacket and matching pants. He was drinking a huge mug of coffee and beside him sat Danny, who looked as awful as Devin. His pants were just barely up to his waist, showing off his silk boxers. His AC/DC t-shirt was faded and the hem was unraveling. His eyes were bloodshot and tired, barely open as he stared at the table.
I slowly inched out into the kichen, cautious. Something was up and I had a feeling it had to do with my sickness and torn clothes. I didn't know if I wanted to know or not, but it looks like I had no choice when Blake looked up and gestured for me to sit down.
I sat across from them as Devin came over with a plate of pancakes, eggs, and bacon. The smell had my stomach wrenching. Devin cast Blake and Danny a worried look before drifting out of the kitchen, leaving me alone with my adoptive parents.
I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, and it wasn't just the hunger gnawing at my gut.
"Lucas, how are you feeling?" Danny asked after a few minutes of just awkwardly staring at each other. I shifted a bit, then shrugged and reached up to put a hand on my forehead, indicating I had a headache. Danny nodded slowly, getting to his feet.
"I'll get you some aspirin." He stated and went to the medicine cabinet while Blake just watched me carefully. I watched him back, his green-blue eyes hardly blinking as if he were afraid he'd miss a single second of me. It was strange. No one really paid that much attention to me.
Danny came back and I took the pills, turning my face away from them before I set the glass down and cocked my head at them questioningly.
"Lucas, do you remember what happened last night?" Blake asked outright. I blinked, then slowly shook my head. The only thing I could remember was the first part of the dance, Ethan practically ignoring me as he mingled with his wide circle of friends. I was okay with that, I remembered. He was having fun, so it was fine. Why that mattered to me, I had no idea. Ethan and I weren't really friends, were we? Just accomplices or something.
Wait... I remembered something.
It was fuzzy. I remembered standing outside the bathroom with Ethan. He looked freaked out and worried. I could see him holding my arms and why I let him touch me at all was beyond me, but he started to carry me into the bathroom when the memory went black again.
I felt panicky, nervous, afraid. Why couldn't I remember what happened? Why did I let him touch me? How more much more did he touch me? He wasn't the one who ripped at my clothes, was he? Did he go to jail?
"Lucas, calm down," Blake soothed, making me realize that I had been practically hyperventilating as I tried to remember, "It's okay, don't force yourself. We were just wondering."
"If you can remember anything, though, you need to tell us so we... uhm... know how to react." Danny added slowly, trying to choose the right words. I frowned, confused. I didn't want to say anything. I didn't trust myself. At the same time, maybe if I did explain it outloud, I'd remember things better.
"Dance. The dance Ethan and I went to." I said slowly. Danny leaned forward on the table, watching me in surprise. This was the first time I'd spoken to him in a long time. He looked eager to hear me speak again, but at the same time, worried about whatever had happened last night.
"Ethan was dancing," I remembered carefully, "He was having a lot of fun. I was okay with that. He deserved to have fun... I got thirsty and went to get punch, but it was so gross. I went back to find Ethan, but he was still surrounded by all his friends, so I went out into the hallway to get away from all those people..."
"I don't like people." I tacked on quickly. Danny and Blake shared looks before looking back at me. I felt uncomfortable with their full attention. I shifted a little and picked up a bacon strip to nibble on the end of it for a while before I set it back down and continued.
"I think I remember Ethan and I talking after that, but... After that, I don't remember..." My voice trailed as thought back on it.
That's right. Ethan and I were talking about something. The book I read him? Or maybe it was... the dance? Yes... No, the punch. Right, it was the punch. It was gross and I let him try it and he made a big scene about it.
"The punch," I said aloud, "I let Ethan have a drink of it, but he spat it out and started ranting about how awful it was. I thought it was gross too, but I was really thirsty and I don't know why I didn't go to the drinking fountain. I remember something about Ethan catching me. He was freaking out, but I can't remember anything he said. He was taking me into the bathroom, but... That's all I remember."
That was a lie. I felt like I had suddenly been punched in the stomach. I could vaguely remember Carter and his friends. Ethan was yelling at them, but when? Before or after the dance? During? Where were we? The parking lot maybe? But why were we in the parking lot?
"Ask Ethan." I said suddenly. Ethan was there. He knew what happened.
"No," Blake said automatically, "Ethan's gone."
"Huh?" The stupid question flew out my mouth before I could stop it. What did he mean Ethan was gone? Where did he go? He promised he'd stay by me and make sure Carter and his asshole-ish friends would leave me alone. Was he arrested again? Did he something illegal?
"Lucas, I don't want to freak you out or make you do something you don't want to," Danny explained carefully, "But we need you to try and remember if Ethan did anything to you."
"W-What're you talking about? Did something to me?" I asked in disbelief. What the hell would Ethan do to me? He promised to protect me, he wouldn't go back on that promise. Especially not with the way he looked at me when he made that promise. The intensity in his eyes and the way his voice was so determined and strong. It meant something. I know it did and when I said something like that, I meant it. I didn't trust people easily, but something about Ethan at that moment made me trust him.
"What happened?" I asked at last.
"Damn it." Blake cursed, looking frustrated. I winced. Was he mad at me? What did I do wrong? I felt myself involuntarily shrinking away from him in my seat. Danny glared at him, then quickly looked at me reassuringly.
"It's okay, Lucas, you're not in trouble. You didn't do anything wrong. We just need to know what happened last night... You scared us." He admitted, looking at Blake helplessly. Blake nodded, running a hand through his hair nervously.
"Tell me what you know." I stated. Danny and Blake looked at each other before Blake locked eyes with me.
"Lucas, last night we got a call from Ethan. Devin picked up. Ethan sounded pretty freaked out and Devin said it sounded like he was going to cry or something, but he just told me to hurry and get to the school, he had to go. I didn't understand what he meant either, so I just went to the school as fast as I could and when I got there... You were unconscious."
"What?" I asked, feeling dizzy again as I tried hard to remember this.
"I don't know what happened exactly. I just showed up there and I panicked. You weren't waking up and I thought you were dead. Ethan was there, but he wasn't saying anything that was exactly helping... I'll admit, I snapped at him and totally pulled a Rick on him, but I was scared, Lucas. I don't know if he did anything to hurt you or not. After that, I just took you home. You woke up about twice. The first time, we gave you water and you kept spitting it back up, saying something about..." His voice drifted as if he didn't want to repeat. Danny reached out and his fingers curled around Blake's tightly.
It was amazing, he hardy showed Blake affection in front of people, which meant last night had to be worse than I thought. The fact that I couldn't remember made my throat close with panic.
"You kept repeating something about your daddy being in the kitchen and he was mad at you. We tried to wake you up or keep you conscious, but you kept drifting out and fainting. The second time you woke up, you puked a little. We were freaking out and debated whether to call the hospital or not, but you passed out and Blake stayed with you the entire night. I went to the school to ask around, but I only met with the Coach and he told me that he found you with Ethan and a couple of the other football players, but that's all he would say. He said everything else was confidential. What kind of shit is that? Confidential my ass. I deserve to know when something's happened to my son." Danny snorted in disgust. Blake squeezed his hand and Danny squeezed back.
I stared at them both, confused and still afraid. At the same time... I felt grateful.
Son. They really thought of me as their son. Even after all the time I ignored them, pushed away their affections and their gifts. After their constant attempts to get me to talk to them, to accept them, I kept pulling away and without realizing it, they'd already grasped me.
It finally hit me that even though I never called them father or accepted their gifts, I was still their son and they cared enough about me to stay with me through a whole night, putting up with... whatever happened to me.
I suddenly felt like crying.
My throat was tight and sore, the backs of my eyes burned with tears that I refused to let surface. I didn't trust myself to talk anymore. If I opened my mouth, I might start crying and I couldn't do that.
"We just need to know what happened and it seems like the only person who knows is Ethan." Danny said at last. Blake stiffened and Danny shot him a quick glare.
"Stop acting like your brother. We're calling Ethan over." He stated, letting go of Blake and heading for the phone.
"What if he did something? We can't trust his word." Blake protested.
"Yes, you can." I said suddenly. Blake looked at me doubtfully for a moment, then he seemed to slowly relax and nodded, glancing at Danny, who picked up the phone and used the redial button to find Ethan.
"Hello, is Ethan there?" Danny asked, looking confused as he glanced at me. I just stared back at him blankly. Why wouldn't Ethan pick up his own cell phone?
"Oh, no," Danny said quickly, "No, I'm not a cop. Uhm, the parent of a friend of his.... No. Uhh, nooo. Look, is Ethan there? This is sort of important.... Yes, I know who he is.... No, it's not illegal. Dude, do I sound like a stoner?" He looked thoroughly irritated now and threw Blake and I look that said he was about ready to drive over there and beat the lights out of whoever he was talking to.
Blake made a 'calm down' motion with his hands and Danny rolled his eyes before turning away from us to lean on the counter, still talking on the phone.
"Yes, I'm here... Yes... No. What? No? Just tell Ethan to come over here. Yes. Yes, I'm serious. Yes.... Maybe. Right. Okay. Bye." He hung up and whirled to face us, throwing his hands up.
"What the hell was that?! Apparently I was talking to his mother. Are you kidding me? What kind of mother is like that? She giving me the third degree about how I knew Ethan and if I was his probation officer or something? You never told me Ethan's been to jail, Lucas." Danny added, looking uneasy by the thought. I rolled my eyes and shook my head as a response.
That's no reason to judge someone, I wanted to say.
"Well, anyway," Danny sighed, "He's on his way here, without his cell phone apparently. It's being shut off tonight. Poor kid, though. His parents are real jerks." I didn't say anything, I didn't need to. All that was said was said and now all we could do was wait until Ethan showed up and told us the truth.
And my stomach was twisting the entire time, resisting any food that I tried to scarf down. I gave up and just sat in my seat, wringing my hands together and counting the ticks the clock made every second.
When the door bell rang, we all jumped and shared looks. I went to answer the door, pausing when I heard the sound of shuffling around upstairs. Without a doubt, Rick was awake, which meant World War III was about to start.
Fan-fucking-tastic.
I opened the door to see Ethan standing there, looking just awful. He looked like he hadn't slept at all, his shirt was on backwards and his football jacket was sliding off one shoulder, in the same way his jeans were hanging off his hips and unzipped. I pointed a finger at his fly and he blushed, glaring at me quickly before zipping up his pants. He hesitated and studied my face.
"You okay?" He asked after a while. I raised an eyebrow as if to ask 'seriously?' He scowled and let himself in. I closed the door behind him and we made our way into the kitchen.
"Hi, Ethan," Danny greeted warmly, "Would you like some coffee or something? The breakfast is still warm."
"That'd be great, please and thank you." Ethan sighed, sitting in a seat across from Blake and avoiding eye contact with him. I'm pretty sure Blake said something that made him want to do that and Blake was regretting it, judging by the glint in his eyes. Danny was just setting out Ethan's breakfast when Rick came into the kitchen.
"Wow, is everyone in this house deaf or am I not loud enough?" Rick demanded in irritation at the sight of Ethan, who surprised us by throwing a glare at him. Either he was suicidal or just really, really mad himself.
"Rick, go somewhere else, you prick. We're having a family discussion." Danny snapped, folding his arms over his chest and leaning on the counter. Rick shrugged non-chalantly.
"Fantastic, just in time then. My house, my rules, my family." He stated and leaned against the counter by the sink, watching us, waiting for us to begin.
"Get out, Rick." Blake commanded, getting to his feet. Rick raised an eyebrow before looking at Ethan and I.
"See what I mean? I'm thoroughly ignored. In my own house." He said.
"Whatever," Ethan drawled, "Ignore him. What did you guys want? I'm not being sued, am I? Don't bother, just toss me in the slammer."
"For what?" Danny asked increduously.
"I can think of several things." Rick chirped.
"Wow, you can think?" Danny asked with mock surprise. Rick glared at him and Danny stuck his tongue out as a response. Honestly, it didn't matter if he was my father and Rick was my uncle, they still acted like they were kids, not adults. Blake rolled his eyes and looked at Ethan with a frown.
"Ethan, we asked you over here because we need to know what happened last night. Lucas doesn't remember a thing. You're the only one who can tell us what happened." He explained calmly. Ethan slowed his eating, licking his lower lip to glance at me out the corner of his eye. I made a gesture for him to answer, but he looked down at his plate now.
"Told you," Rick said after a few moments of silence, "The brat won't tell you anything that'll land him in prison."
"Shut up, Rick." Danny seethed past clenched teeth. Rick gave an innocent whistle before he grabbed a beer from the fridge, making Danny and I scrunch our noses. Something about alcohol was just absolutely awful and it seemed we were the only ones that thought so.
"I didn't do anything that'll land me in prison," Ethan snorted, then sighed heavily, rubbing his temples, "Look. I didn't do anything and I'm telling the truth. I was dancing and I saw Lucas leave, so I went after him. I promised I'd make sure no one bullied him after Carter and his lapdogs jumped him in the locker rooms the other day. So, why wouldn't I follow him? He kept saying, or rather, gesturing that the punch tasted like crap. I tried it and I knew something was wrong with it. At first I just thought it was alcohol or something, but it didn't taste like it and Lucas didn't act drunk."
"What was he doing?" Blake asked.
"Well, first of all, he was stumbling and trying to stay balanced. I caught him before he fell and I took him to the bathroom when he said he felt like he was gonna puke. I waited to see if he would, but he never did. Instead, he just sort of sat there and stared off into space. I definitely knew it wasn't alcohol at that point. It was some kind of drug. So, I was gonna take Lucas home, but when I left the school, Carter and those assholes showed up."
As he explained everything, things seemed to click together. All the disoriented images I had when I had previously tried to remember it all. It struck me one by one and I felt like I was choking.
Actually, I think I was choking.
"Jesus, Lucas!" Rick's voice snapped me out of my thoughts when I realized he was jamming his thumb into my ribs. I gasped and spat out my food, looking up to see everyone staring at me. The attention made me uncomfortable.
"I think that's enough breakfast for now." Danny managed, his voice shaking as he snatched the plate away from me. My stomach growled in protest at the disappearance of the food, but we all knew it was probably best.
Jeez, I'm an idiot. I choked on bacon.
"You gonna live?" Ethan asked me, staring at me with worry and shock. I felt warmth fill my cheeks and I gave my hood a pull, rolling my eyes at him. He scowled in response.
"And then...?" Blake hedged Ethan, but he was watching me like he didn't trust that I'd choke again, even though the food was gone.
"Uh... Carter laid out some cheesy B-movie plot about framing me for date rape. He'd slipped ruffies in the punch and Lucas had two cups, and it doesn't help that he's a midget, so it affected him even worse." Ethan replied. I glared at him. Ethan shrugged.
"You are." He drawled unhelpfully. Blake and Danny cleared their throats, as if warning him to make fun of me further. I was beginning to like them far more. Ethan huffed, then shrugged his shoulders.
"So, then Lucas tried to get away. Pretty sure he was almost completely under by now. He was tripping and falling over, mumbling things that made no sense. Carter grabbed him and tried to make it look like I had attacked him. Lucas freaking bit the guy-"
"That's my boy!" Danny interrupted cheerfully. Rick and Blake stared at him. Danny shrugged, then grinned at me. I felt myself wanting to smile back.
"And then he went completely under, so I went over there and punched the shit outta Carter, told his idiots to get the teachers, and... I don't know. Lucas sounded like he was talking to someone, but it wasn't any of us. He sounded like he was there, but he wasn't at the same time." Ethan finished, looking at me.
I stared at him, then everyone else, trying to remember. Most of it fit together up until the whole me passing out thing. I couldn't remember talking to anyone or anything, but Ethan said I did, I believed him.
"That's bullshit." Rick stated.
"Rick, don't start." Blake began, but Rick cut him off with a rude snort.
"Shut up. Take it from someone who knows. That's a bullshit story, kid. What? You watch CSI Miami? Framing for date rape? Please, that sounds like it was made by some idiot."
"Carter is an idiot." Ethan answered dryly.
"Most football players are," Danny drawled, then paused when Ethan cocked a brow at him, "No offense." Ethan rolled his eyes. I frowned, though, because Rick was really starting to irritate me.
It happened. I know it did. Ethan said it did.
"You probably drugged him and you were planning to do something sick. I know how you shitheads are. I've met plenty of you in my life to know when I see one." Rick responded coldly. Blake was on his feet again, glaring daggers at his brother.
"Rick, stop. You're jumping to conclusions. Who does that remind you of?"
"A father, that's who."
"Yea, ours." Blake snapped. Rick went still, staring at Blake as if he'd been slapped.
I honestly didn't know the story behind that. Blake was quiet about it, never spoke a word about who his parents were and why no one spoke about them. Obviously there was a reason for it and it made me curious, but I wasn't rude enough to ask about it. However, the comparison was apparently an insult because Rick's eyes suddenly seemed to catch fire.
"Bull-fucking-shit. You have balls to say that to me-"
"Really? Because I just repeated the same damn thing you told me yesterday!"
"And I said it for a reason! Lucas was hurt because you let him go with that-that jail bait brat! You should have kept a closer eye on him and you should've been stricter! You're going to get him killed if you let him hang out with any person he wants, just because he likes them! The kid doesn't even talk, so you can't just trust his instincts!"
"Are you telling me not to trust my own son?! Do you even hear yourself?! Are you telling me you don't trust Oliver?! Or Molly? Or Anya?"
"I never-"
"Yes, you did! We heard it! Lucas doesn't trust anyone, he never has and I used to wonder if he ever would! We both know the kind of pain parents can dish out, Rick! Lucas knows too! How many years did we both hide out at Vic's house, thinking we'd never find anyone?! How many nights did we wake up with nightmares?! And now look at us! Are you telling me you want to make Lucas feel the way our parents made us feel?! I'd kill myself before ever hurting Lucas like that!"
"Blake!" Danny exclaimed. Blake glared harshly at Rick, who stared at him, but surprisingly, didn't say a word.
"Don't tell me how to raise my son. I know what I'm doing. If Lucas trusts Ethan, so do I. If you don't, well, too bad. You're not his father. I am." He finished. I blinked, watching as Blake whirled around and left the room, probably heading to the garage to beat at the punching bag. I looked at Rick, who seemed stunned at being yelled at before he scowled.
"Fine. Do whatever you guys want, but don't come crying to me when I'm right," He muttered and started to head out, but stopped in the archway to the hallway, turning to face us, "And I'm always right." With that, he was gone. Danny sighed deeply, reaching up to rub his forehead before he gave Ethan and I a weak smile.
"I'm so sorry about that. They've never gotten along well. Uhm, if you'd like, Ethan, you can stay over. We're perfectly fine with it." He offered. Ethan grimaced.
"Uhm, I'm not so sure that's a good idea." He started. I frowned and jerked on his jacket sleeve. He glanced at me and I pointed upstairs. He looked doubtful, but nodded to Danny, who returned the nod. I led Ethan upstairs to my room and shut the door behind him.
"Lucas, I really don't think I should stay..." His voice trailed as I went to the bookcase and picked Lord of the Flies off the shelf. I held it up to him, tapping the cover with my finger. Ethan blinked, then gave me a faint smile.
"All right... But just a couple chapters." He added quickly, shifting uneasily as he slid his jacket off. I shrugged, never really agreed to what he said because in all honesty, I didn't want him to leave.
I'd never been this attached to someone before.
I really, trutly didn't want him to leave. I didn't mind reading to him, letting him hear my voice, which was a feat and I had to give him points for that. Even I didn't like to hear my own voice.
I sat on the bed against the wall, opening the book as Ethan sat beside me, leaning on the wall too and listening to me read. He didn't stop me after two chapters, or three chapters, or four, or five. I stopped on my own after a few hours, though, when I felt Ethan slump against me.
For a second, I felt panicked, but when I turned to look at him, it faded for the first time in years.
Ethan was fast asleep, his cheek against my shoulder and his eyes closed, his hands limp in his lap and his legs spread out in front of him. Man, his legs were long... and so were the abs that bulged past his skin tight shirt.
I nibbled on my lip, slowly closing the book and setting it down.
I liked Ethan, I realized. He kept his promises and he worried about me. He talked to me and came to tell me what happened. Of course, I was still painfully worried about what happened last night. I couldn't believe I forgot all of it. Could a drug be that strong? I shivered at the thought, then froze as Ethan's arms went around my waist and he sank down so his head was against my ribs. I hesitantly put my arm over his shoulders.
This felt weird. I'd never been this close with anyone, not even my own mother. She didn't let me hang on her because if my father had caught her, he'd beat us both...
But I felt safer with Ethan, and apparently he felt safe with me too and the fact that he trusted me enough to fall asleep next to me made me feel warm inside. I sank low on the bed too, putting my arms around him in return, squeezing my eyes shut at the feel of his skin touching mine.
I remembered the few times I'd caught Blake and Danny kissing. The first time had stunned me. Why would a guy kiss another guy? Was that even possible? Of course it was. They made it perfectly clear, and they both seemed to enjoy it. Blake would scoop Danny up in his arms, giving him a deep, hungry kiss as if he hadn't seen Danny in years. He kissed him like that even if they'd been apart for just a few minutes.
Would Ethan get mad if I kissed him?
If I kissed him, did that mean I loved him? Was that why I felt so close to Ethan? Because I loved him? I couldn't be sure, I didn't know what love felt like.
Only one way to find out, I guess...
I closed my eyes tightly, mentally preparing myself for the shock of having my first kiss as I leaned in, my lips touching Ethan's gently. His lips were so smooth, so warm and soft. I don't know why I expected them to be chapped, maybe because he was a football player? Who knows?
I kissed him a little harder, gently touching my fingertips to the back of his neck, carefully touching some of his hair. It felt weird kissing someone. It made me warm and actually eager to kiss him harder. What did his tongue feel like? Was it as wet and gross as the other couple's when they kissed?
I opened my eyes to pull back, then froze when I saw Ethan staring at me.
Oh no.
I was caught red-faced.