Trigger Warning for severe depression, self-mutilation and graphic imagery. I Will Put You Back Together is the follow up mini-series to the lengthy oneshot We Become What We Behold. Please be good to yourselves.
***
It's going to take her four, perhaps even five weeks to fully recover from the wound Ms. Cabello. Are you willing to provide her with the care she'll need?
~ Week 1 ~
"Lauren I'm home! Sorry, work ran really late tonight, there was a massive dinner rush and everyone was pissing me off!"
I fumbled through the apartment's front door, two large paper grocery bags rapidly slipping from within my arms. Cursing as a stalk of celery fell to the floor, I tossed my keys onto the back of the couch and hoped to god I wasn't going to step on a cat before making my way to the kitchen.
"Lauren!" I called again, hitting my toe on the leg of a mis-placed bar stool on the other side of our counter island and swearing loudly. "Hey, I found the really good brand of peanut butter I was looking for, but they didn't have the kind with the little bits of peanuts in it, so I also bought a tin of de-shelled nuts." I continued. "So I guess we're going to be the people that crush them up and sprinkle them in."
The apartment was quiet, save for my clumsy maneuver to the counter. "Lauren?" I called a third time. "If you're asleep, you better wake up, the only person I've spoke to in the last twelve hours who I didn't want to kill was the lady who deals drugs behind the dumpsters at the restaurant, she was in an oddly good mood today!"
"Right here." The girl emerged from the bedroom dressed in a pair of grey sweatpants and a black sports bra. Her shoulder was still covered in a thick layer of bandage, tape and padding, the wound not yet sealed enough to be properly exposed. She was holding Maya, the overweight feline tucked happily in her arms. "Can I help unload those?"
"Hell no." I breathed, setting the bags down. "You took a bullet to the shoulder a few days ago, the only thing you're allowed to lift is your thumb to change the channel on the TV with the remote." I looked up to see her holding the cat. "Lauren! Why are you holding that thing?!"
"What?" The girl blinked, smiling down at the ball of fur in her arms. "She's just a cat."
"An overweight cat." I corrected, ensuring that the bags were securely on the counter before stepping over and yanking the golden tabby away, dropping her to the ground. "I've tried putting her on a diet about a hundred times now, but her face is too cute for me to say no. Now go sit on the couch."
"But I want to help-"
"Sit on the couch." I ordered, narrowing my eyes at her. "Now."
Like a kicked puppy, Lauren migrated to the arm of the couch and sat down carefully, placing her hands down against the fabric. Maya began to wind around her legs, rubbing against her ankles and making small mewing noises. "Camila?" She questioned, lifting her chin at me.
"No." I shook my head, starting to remove the objects from the bags. "You're not allowed to help."
"But-"
"No." I said again, pulling open the fridge and loading a carton of soy milk onto the barren top shelf. "Just relax."
"No that's not-" Lauren tried a third time.
"Shh." I glanced over my shoulder and lifted a threatening eyebrow. "No helping, no moving, just sit there and behave. Did you sleep today? How do you feel?"
"Camila, that's not what I was going to say." She replied. "You... kinda dropped some celery over by the front door."
"Oh." I poked my head out of the kitchen area to see the stalk I had dropped upon entering the apartment. Heading over, I knelt down to swipe it off the ground and re-adjust the surrounding plastic bag. "Yeah, that's what I get for letting the fifteen year old bag boy handle my groceries." I smiled. "Thanks."
Lauren nodded, receding to her place on the couch. "So what did you do today?"
"Not much." I yawned, stacking a box of jam filled cookies onto the small pantry that was embedded in the wall. "I had a class this morning with a pop quiz, on which I'm pretty sure I scored between ten and fifteen percent. I argued with the lady at Subway over putting too much spinach on my sandwich for lunch, then waited tables for the rest of the day."
"Too much spinach?" Lauren blinked. "You argued with her over that?"
"She fucking destroyed it with spinach." I shrugged. "I wanted like... six other things, you can't just load on the spinach and think that's the only thing I'm going to order. Also I asked for light mayo and sweet onion sauce, and the girl looked at me like I was crazy. I never realized that ordering from that place is like working in a factory line. Tedious"
The girl was quiet, leading me to glance over my shoulder in question. There was a small smile on her face, her green eyes full of admiration. "What?" I questioned, "What's so funny?"
"Nothing." She shook her head.
I rolled my eyes, giving her a smile. "Alright, so Shawn said he was going to drop by tonight for a little bit with something to eat. He's been dying to meet you."
"Really?" Lauren's eyes brightened just a touch. "That's nice."
"Yeah, he's a sweetheart." I nodded, finishing off unpacking the bags and tossing them to the ground near the kitchen garbage. Finally, I made my way over to the arm of the couch and leaned down to press a light kiss against her forehead. "How is your shoulder feeling?"
"Good." Lauren nodded.
Acknowledging her with a smile, I then reached down and trailed my fingers down the side of her neck, inspecting her skin for any sort of new or previously unseen damage. Following the movement down to her uninjured shoulder and down her forearms, I was unable to pick up on anything out of the ordinary. It pleased me. Memorizing Lauren's wounds was the first thing I had done since she had been with me, and I had learned quickly that the task wasn't difficult.
"Good." I echoed back, placing my hand to her face and running my thumb over the top of her cheek. "Are you allergic to anything?"
The girl shook her head. "Not that I know of."
"Alright, if you start to swell up anywhere then let me know, because it's Thai for dinner tonight."
As Lauren nodded, I reached up and let my fingers drift through her hair, moving the soft dark mane from away either side of her face and teased up into a makeshift side part. "What're you doing?" She asked curiously, lifting her chin. I drew my hands away, taking a small step back in admiration.
"I like it this way." I shrugged, smiling. "You look like a movie star."
"That's not true." Lauren visibly blushed, moving to rise from the couch arm.
"It is true." I countered, placing my hand atop the ink on her left forearm and kept her from moving. "What do you need? I'll get it for you."
"Nothing, it's fine." Lauren chuckled softly. "I just wanted a glass of-"
"Water?" I finished for her, blinking eagerly. "Tea? Coffee? I just picked up some of those mini rainbow milkshakes from the grocery store, they taste like a cupcake explosion in your mouth. It's amazing."
"Just water." Lauren finished, smiling. "But I can get it, it's probably good if I move around-"
"Nope. I'll get it, don't move a muscle." I eagerly scuttled back into the kitchen and yanked a tall glass from an upper shelf. It was quickly filled with ice cold water from a filter in the fridge. My phone vibrated from my back pocket, startling me. I added an extra ice cube and handed the glass to Lauren before answering.
"Hello?"
"Hey, it's me." Shawn sounded tired. "I forgot my key to the apartment at my place, can you come down and let me in?"
"Seriously?" I rolled my eyes. "Shawn, do you know how many flights of stairs I've climbed up and down for you?"
"I have food."
"I'm on my way." I set the phone down on the back of the couch and nudged Lauren in the shoulder, notifying her I would only be a few minutes before heading out of the apartment. After a short walk downstairs, I entered the lobby only to see the boy standing outside with a large plastic bag full of food, nibbling on what looked like a spring roll.
"Hi." He gave me a broad smile as I pushed the front door open and waved him out of the cold.
"Hi yourself." I muttered. "You need to stop doing this, do you have any idea how many pounds I've dropped just from walking up and down those stairs? I cut you a key to his place for a reason."
"Yeah, and when you did, you knew that I tend to lose things a lot." The boy retorted, still chewing. "I'm so excited for tonight. Do you think she's going to like me? Is there anything you can tell me that'll help me get on her good side? How about anything I should avoid? And you said she was really pretty, but how pretty is really pretty? Pretty girls scare me you know."
"Shawn I swear, you've asked thirty questions in the last twenty seconds." I pressed my fingers to the bridge of my nose, dulling the headache on the horizon. "Just relax. She's an amazing person, and has changed completely from the night I went over to her place without you knowing. She's... more real now. You'll be fine as long as you be yourself."
"Mmkay." The boy reached in the bag for another spring roll, and I promptly swiped it away from him with a scowl. The hungry look on his face was replaced with one of disappointment.
Arriving back at the unit, I stepped inside to see an empty front room. The cat was nibbling away at what was left in her food bowl from earlier in the day, while the empty grocery bags had been neatly folded and placed into the garbage can. "Lauren?" I frowned, turning to see Shawn was already rummaging through the bags again.
The bedroom door opened and closed, and a crescendo of footsteps turned into Lauren making an appearance at the mouth of the hallway. She had put a top on, an oversized grey t-shirt with a large white five on the front. It covered her shoulder, as well as a good portion of her arms, while the green eyed girl's hair hadn't moved from how I had adjusted it earlier.
"Oh good, Lauren, this is Shawn. Shawn, Lauren."
"Hi." She nodded, granting him a kind nod. "It's nice to meet you."
Shawn was quiet for far longer than I was anticipating. I glanced over my shoulder to see he was staring at her with the world's most wide eyed mooney expression.
"Oh." He blinked. "Uh... Hi. I'm... um-"
"Oh for god's sake, you're such a boy." I shoved him hard in the shoulder.
"What? You asked me to be myself." Shawn breathed, glancing from Lauren over to me for a brief second, then right back to Lauren like she was a magnet. "So I'm being myself."
"I said to be yourself, not a stupid version of yourself." I muttered.
"I brought- uh." Shawn lifted the bag in front of him. "Food." He blinked. "Oh, it's take out, nothing special. From Thailand! I mean... it's not actually from Thailand, like I didn't fly overseas just to pick up some fried rice and stir-fry. Man, can you imagine how much that meal would cost? Not to mention the customs..."
I covered my eyes with my hand, groaning softly.
"It smells good, thank you." Lauren nodded kindly, reaching out to take the bag. I swooped in and grabbed it away from him, scowling at her.
"No lifting."
"Sorry." Lauren's hands vanished into the deep pockets of her sweatpants.
"Camila, don't be so rude." Shawn snapped at me, giving me a light shove so I was no longer obstructing the pathway between them. "Sorry about her, she gets a little psycho when she's hungry. Can I make you a plate?"
"Oh, uh... sure." Lauren shrugged. "Thanks. You're really nice."
"Yeah, that's only because he's Canadian." I chimed in, giving Lauren a sweet smile before shifting to a glare in Shawn's direction. "And he isn't even from the pretty part of Canada, he's from the gross part that always smells bad."
"Hey, Ontario isn't that bad." Shawn frowned. "I mean it's no west coast mountain range, or east coast hospitality, but it's got it's own charm."
"Shawn, I've heard you call it On-terrible."
"That was a joke."
"It didn't sound like a joke."
"Well it was. I was using it as a line to pick up a girl from Nova Scotia."
"What's that, like a brand of bacon?"
"Camila!"
"Guys?" Lauren had already seated herself at the kitchen table with a plate in front of her and the food unwrapped and ready to go.The dish was about a quarter covered with rice, as well as one of the spring rolls that Shawn hadn't prematurely scarfed down. There was also another stack of two dishes ready to go with some cutlery nearby.
"When did you...?" I questioned, looking at the spread.
Lauren just smiled up at me, lifting her chin towards one of the empty plates. I was about to reach for one, until Shawn zipped in front of me and grabbed it first. Once his plate was piled high with a mix of meat and vegetables, he sat himself down in the only other chair around the table. I rolled my eyes, scooping up the last one and doing the same before sitting on the arm of the couch a few feet away.
"So tell me about yourself." Lauren turned to him, lifting a fork and poking at the food on her plate.
"Well, as Camila said I'm Canadian." The boy began. "I'm in the midst of finishing up an honours degree in literature, and I love to write songs."
I rolled my eyes again, moving to sit properly on the couch and staring at the blank TV screen. Maya hopped up as well, padding across the cushion to nudge my forearm and give my plate an inspective sniff. I scratched gently at the space behind her ears, eliciting a loud purr.
"Do you play any instruments?" Lauren asked back at the table.
"Mostly just guitar and piano." Shawn nodded. "But if you put something like a trumpet in my hands I could probably pick it up."
"Oh god." I muttered, shaking my head. "Really Shawn?"
"I also have a son. Gabe." The boy added, completely ignoring me.
"Wow, really?" Lauren sounded invested. "That's cool. How old he?"
"Six" Shawn smiled. "He's amazing. You should meet him sometime."
"That'd be fun." The girl nodded back.
"I guess it's just you and I Maya." I spoke to my cat, drawing her closer and holding out a small, soy-sauce covered strip of chicken out to let her give it an inspective sniff, followed by a tentative lick. "What should we do while those two go through with their first date?"
The rest of the night progressed as it had started. Lauren and Shawn proceeded to talk about a little bit of everything while I was lounged out across the couch reading a terribly boring article on the screen of my laptop and cuddling with the cat at the same time. Drifting off, I woke a number of hours later to a dark apartment and a hand shaking gently at my leg.
"Camila?" Lauren's raspy voice caught my attention, forcing my eyes open.
"Mmhm?" I yawned, groggily sitting up and disturbing the napping tabby that was lying on my legs. Shawn was in the kitchen, tending to a number of dishes tucked beneath a layer of bubbles and hot water in the sink. "Did I fall asleep?"
She nodded. "A while ago yeah. Are you tired?"
"Not anymore." I stretched. "What's going on, is everything okay?"
"My shoulder, it- hurts a little."
"Oh, your meds." I swung my legs off the couch, getting up and rubbing my eyes. Lauren's pills were under my control as requested by the doctor, which she had no problem with. It also gave me the peace of mind associated with any kind of brash moves on her part. Making my way into the bathroom, I knelt down and removed the prescription bag from beneath the sink, popping the top of the small canister and doling out two pale blue oval shaped pills.
Back in the main room, Lauren had sought out her glass of water from earlier and was standing in front of it, her right hand reached up and pressed to her upper bicep. The girl looked like she was masking a cringe, surely in far more pain that she was letting on.
"Here." I smiled, handing her the medication and watching as she took them both swiftly. "That'll take a minute or two to kick in, you should relax while it does."
Lauren nodded, making her way over to the couch and sitting down with the cat. Maya was more than pleased, getting up from the cushion she was snoozing on and padding over to climb up on her lap. Typically the cat was far more skittish around new people than she was acting with Lauren, which was a pleasant surprise.
"Alright, I've got to go relieve my babysitter." Shawn sighed from the kitchen, setting the last of the clean dishes into the drying rack to his side and wiping whatever residual water was left on his hands off on his jeans. "I had a nice night, it was really great to meet you Lauren."
"You too." Lauren turned around with a smile.
"Don't you dare kiss her goodnight." I only half joked, rolling my eyes and grabbing the leather jacket he had slung over the counter. With the article of clothing in one hand and his arm in the other, I let them collide and ushered him to the door.
"I wasn't going to-"
"Just go." I shoved him out into the hall, glancing over my shoulder for a moment before scooting out behind him.
"Oh, so now you want to come with?" The boy lifted an amused eyebrow. "Man, that girl really brings out the crazy in you, doesn't she?"
"Shut up." I muttered. "So what did you think? She's nice right?"
"She's awesome." Shawn nodded, grinning. "My god, she's gorgeous. Her and I would make such beautiful children."
"Fucking hell..." I gritted my teeth together, narrowing my eyes at him. "You're so not funny."
"Another perk that comes with being Canadian." Shawn's smile only widened, but only for a moment. "But I did see all that on her wrists and hands and stuff. It's pretty intense. This is going to be a pretty big job you're taking on. It can take a long time for some people to heal."
"I know." I shivered. "But I'm so far down the rabbit hole now that there's no turning back. Not that I'd ever want to. She's... I don't know."
"Alright Mila." Shawn chuckled. "I get the picture. I'll leave you to alone for the night, just no funny business on the first date."
"Stop." I scolded, hitting him on the arm before turning back and taking the door handle within my palm. "I'll see you tomorrow for Econ?"
"Of course." The boy yawned. "Let me know if you're going to be late this time, I'll save you a seat."
Subconsciously, I went up on my toes, eyes drifting down to his lips simply out of the sense of routine. Before I could move further however, I felt a lick of fire flash down the back of my neck, stopping me. Shawn had stepped backwards as well, shaking his head and swallowing.
"Sorry." He mumbled first, running his fingers through his hair. "I should go."
"Yeah." I agreed, placing my hand on his inner forearm and squeezing gently. "Have a good night."
"You too." Shawn turned and slid the jacket over his arm, over his shoulder before disappearing down the hall and into the stairwell. I backed up against the door, leaning on the surface and tipping my head backwards.
"Goddamn that was hard." I mumbled, bringing my right hand up to the back of my neck and rubbing at the heat there. Turning around to re-enter the apartment, I saw that Lauren was still on the couch, petting the feline on her lap. She looked behind her as I re-stubbed my toe on the foot of the stool.
"You okay?" She questioned, a glint of amusement in her eye.
"I'm fine, but remind me to throw out these stupid stools." I muttered, hopping up on one foot and rubbing at the sore spot. "I never use them, and they're the reason why my toes are constantly blue."
Hopping to the couch, I grabbed a blanket off the back and cursed a second time when my car keys slipped between the cushions. Looking up I saw the glint of amusement in the girl's eye was only growing.
I couldn't help but match it, maneuvering carefully to the space beside her to sit down. "Now that I've slept for an hour after dinner, I'm never going to get to bed tonight." I mumbled, taking the blanket and draping it over both of our laps. "I've got Super Mario 3D world on the Wii, wanna play with me?"
"Video games?" Lauren questioned, repositioning herself so she was backed lower on the cushion, her hands still at work giving Maya more attention than she had gotten throughout her entire life. "I don't really see you as someone who would be into that kind of thing."
"Oh yeah?" I slid down against her side, lifting a challenging eyebrow. "And what exactly would you see someone like me into?"
Lauren shrugged moving her arms out from beneath the blanket and fiddling with her fingers. "I don't know."
"Hey, are you alright?" I asked, reaching over and placing my hand over hers. "Do you feel okay?"
"Yeah." Lauren took in a deep, audible breath. "Yeah, no. I'm fine." Turning her head, I saw something flickering in her eyes, a something that couldn't be broken down as good or bad. "Let's play."
"Sweet." I brushed the pad of my thumb over her knuckles, then got up and hit the power button on the sleek black video game console that was tucked in the complex beneath the TV. It had been a gift from my family a few holidays ago, and had served it's stress relieving purpose during more than one exam season since. Picking up two white controllers, I handed her one and flicked on the screen with the remote before sliding back down tight to her side.
"So what is this game about?" She asked, the white from the screen now lightning up in her eyes.
"You've never played Super Mario before?"
"Maybe a few times a really long time ago when my brother and I were younger, but not for ages."
"Ah, well..." I grinned at the sight of the title menu, finding a co-op section and selecting the option for two players. "Basically we're a stereotypical Italian plumber, racing to save a bunch of little fairies that... are pretty useless." I explained.
"What are we saving them from?"
"From Bowser, a big scary turtle monster." I glanced up at her. "Sound good?"
"Sounds like whoever made the game was on some serious drugs."
I laughed. Lauren's sense of humour hadn't been far too evident to me since we had started spending nearly every waking minute together, but when it did, the moments were priceless. "We just have to get through the course, and collect all three green stars that are hidden."
"Okay." Lauren nodded. "Can I be the little guy with the big mushroom head?"
I chuckled, closing any breathable distance between us and sliding tight against her side. Her wounded shoulder was facing away, letting me lean on the good one and gaze at the screen. "You want to be Toad?"
"He's cute."
"Sure." I shrugged. "Go for it."
As we played I could feel Lauren's body tense and relax with every cartoon enemy she had bounced on and flattened with her character. The warmth of the blanket, as well as Maya's toasty presence stretched out along both of our laps were a constant comfort as well.
"So what did you think of Shawn?" I asked casually, my eyes remaining on the screen as we made our way through a cheery green course backed with a fun tune and childlike sound effects.
"He's nice." Lauren replied idly. "He seems really sweet."
"He is." I yawned. "I met him when he visited Florida for a vacation back when we were in freshman year of high school. Eventually he had to go back up north, but we kept talking ever since, and ended up meeting in the middle for school."
"How did his son come around?" The girl asked, looking at me briefly before focusing her attention back on the screen.
"Him and his high school girlfriend were being irresponsible in more ways than one." I answered, furrowing my brow as her character sped ahead of mine and grabbed a four-thousand point green star before I could. "Gabe is a product of a box of cheap red wine in plastic dixie cups, an expired condom, and a night of regret."
Lauren just nodded slowly, a small amused expression creeping to her features.
"But he's adorable." I quickly added. "The boy is gorgeous, and he's made Shawn so much better of a person than he was before. He's more attentive, he cares about the little things, and is way more aware of other people's feelings- oh my god, why the hell are you so good at this?!"
The girl giggled softly, placing the controller down as the finish screen flashed across the TV and the bar denoting her point total skyrocketed far above mine. "The little guy with the mushroom hat is a lot faster than your blonde princess."
After a few hours of losses on my part and one fairy saved, we switched off the console and bathed the room in darkness. I had sagged progressively lower against Lauren as the night progressed, doing so until the point where she was easily able to drape her arm over my shoulder and clutch the controller in front of my chest. When we finished, I set my own down and placed my palm to the outside of her hand. It was ice cold.
"I should go to bed." I yawned, looking up at her. "I've got an early class tomorrow."
Lauren nodded wordlessly, moving her hand away and exhaling softly. I got up, stretching the stress knots in my back and starting towards the bedroom. Glancing behind me, I saw the girl was gazing in front of her, something abnormal in her eyes.
"Bed?" I questioned, holding out my hand. She nodded, getting up and scooping up the tabby in her lap, taking the cat with her.
The feeling of my worn mattress was like a breath of fresh air in the musty underground, a set of clean, fresh smelling sheets beneath my typical minimalist pyjamas. Lauren was sitting crosslegged on the other side of the bed, changed back in her sports bra and facing the inner window that sat before the city's lights.
"Lauren?" I propped myself up on my elbows and looked at her. The girl's long dark hair fell midway down the top of her back, shaped into haphazard, yet oddly glamorous waves. "Hey, are you alright?"
"I am." She affirmed, taking a deep breath. Her top half rose and fell with the movement. Turning around for a moment, she granted me a soft smile. "I'm just going to go to the bathroom. It'll only be a minute."
"Okay." I watched as the girl slid off the side of the bed and disappeared into the dark of the small room. I lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling and counting the number of seconds that passed. It had only been a few days, but those days had given me more than a chance to understand Lauren's ins and outs, and adjust my own to fit them. I had never been a big fan of change, but this one took me less than no time to adapt to.
Three, then four minutes passed with no sound coming from behind the bathroom door. After recounting my schedule for the previous day, I finally realized that it was taking a suspiciously long time for her to re-emerge.
"Lauren?" I asked, sitting up wearily and looking at the door. "Are you alright in there?"
There was no sound.
"Lauren." Getting off the bed, I crossed the room and knocked on the adjoining door. "Are you okay? What's going on?"
"I'm fine." Lauren's voice was raspy, full of something I couldn't quite put my finger on.
"Can I come in?" I then asked, taking the handle of the door in my palm. "Are you okay?"
"If you want."
Biting down hard on my lip, I pushed the door open to the scent of stale iron and darkness. Terrified, I rapidly moved to flick on the lights and stepped back in shock at the sight. Blood was smeared on the white tile of the floor, running down the sink and dripping on the silver faucet head. Lauren was clutching her left arm in her right hand, blood spilling out from an open wound that was cut vertically down the length of her forearm.
"Shit..." I breathed, rushing into the room and collapsing to my knees before her.
"I'm sorry." The girl tipped her head back against the wall.
"Fuck." I forced myself to stop shaking, getting up and stepping over her. I then flipped on the shower, turning to control knob to a lukewarm temperature before ushering her to her feet. "Get up, now."
Nodding, she did as instructed without much resistance, stepping over the bathtub barrier and underneath the gentle stream. The blood quickly started to wash away, but was quickly replaced with more.
"It's not a vein." Lauren murmured. "I'll be okay."
Holding back from vocalizing my relief at the statement, I grabbed a towel up off the ground and held it tight against her arm, moving her hand away. It took me a moment to realize that the wound was on the same side of her body as her gun-shot shoulder, the thought sickening.
A few minutes of intense silence passed by, and with it came the slow cease of blood flow. When the water below Lauren turned from a bright red to it's original clear, I drew away the towel and turned off the water to see a very ugly, very deep gash in the skin moving vertical down her forearm. She had stopped the cut just before the tattoo of an upside down triangle just below the crease of her elbow.
"Why?" I asked, my fingers shaking as I guided her out of the tub and removed another towel from the rack a few feet away, wrapping her in it.
"I don't know." The girl replied. A tear or two was moving down her cheek. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be." I kept her arm in my hands, trailing my fingers up and down against her damp skin. "It's okay."
Some time later, I was in the midst of retrieving the assorted first aid supplies from my car, which had been tucked away in the trunk as a means of optimism for Lauren. Racing back up to the unit, I let go a sigh of relief when I saw she was further unharmed, sitting on the edge of the bed and cradling her damaged arm in her lap.
Quietly, I took the time to bind up her arm the way I had been taught by the hospital, taping down the edges of the bandage to make sure the gauze surrounding it wasn't subject to movement. I then gave her a few painkillers, watching as she downed them dry.
"What did you use?" I then asked her softly, sitting at her side. "I thought I had gotten rid of all the razors..."
"Not all." The girl shook her head. "I found an unopened package underneath the sink a few days ago."
"Fuck." I muttered. "I'm such an idiot."
"It's not your fault." The girl shook her head. "I- I don't know what I was thinking, please don't be mad at me."
"I'm not mad." I assured her. "Tonight might have been a little bit overwhelming for you." I placed a hand on her back, running the side of my thumb against the ridges of her spine. "You've been doing well since you got here, it's normal for people who are trying to move forward to take a step back now and again."
Lauren was quiet, and I took the silence as a cue that it was time to sleep. Turning off the light, I made a mental note to clean the bathroom at a later date, and backed up so I was leaning against the bed's headboard. Lauren turned her body lengthwise down the bed, lying on her right side and cuddling up to me. I placed my hand to her back again, trailing the fingers of my left hand through her hair.
Only a few minutes into the night I discovered that she was in tears, shaking subtly against me and hiding her face in the crook of my arm. I tucked her against me gently, ensuring no harm would come to any of her injuries.
"It's okay." I whispered, rubbing her back and trying to give off as motherly a vibe as possible. "It's alright Lauren. I'm not mad, I'm not disappointed. We're going to work through this remember? We're going to fix all of this."
She remained quiet; the tremors in her body gradually lessening until it was nothing but the gentle rise and fall of her upper chest.
~ Week 2 ~
"Morning Camila."
A soft voice in my ear broke me from my relatively uninteresting dreamland. I blinked a few times, registering a warm sunlight filtering through the above-bed window. Stifling a yawn, I finally sat up and thread both fingers through my hair, taming my messy, dark brown bedhead. Lauren was standing near the foot of the bed with a kind smile and a wooden tray in her hands.
"Good morning." I rubbed my eyes. "What are you doing?"
"I made breakfast." The girl beamed, stepping forward and kneeling down to place the tray in front of me. "Peanut butter banana waffles."
"Waffles?" I straightened up groggily and looked down the tray. It consisted of a large plate with three waffles flecked with golden browns, a small bowl of chopped up strawberries and blueberries, and a tall glass of orange juice. "Wait... I have a waffle iron?"
"Yeah." Lauren nodded, smiling. "A really good one in one of the cupboards just left of the sink. You mentioned a few days ago that your mom used to make waffles like this for you and your sister when you guys were little... so I looked up a recipe and took a shot. Tell me what you think."
I licked up lips, picking up a fork and knife, sawing off a small piece of the waffle and popping it into my mouth. For a moment, I could hear fingers trailing against a line of harp strings as flashbacks from early Sunday mornings in the Cabello household glittered in my head. "Wow." I swallowed happily. "Lauren, they're amazing."
"I'm glad." The girl sat down on the edge of the bed. "I know you've been working really late over the past few days, I hope this weekend will be really relaxing. Oh, and I remember you mentioned you were lactose intolerant, so there's no milk or butter in the batter."
"Amazing. Thank you so much." I stabbed a blueberry with a single prong of my fork and bit down with my front teeth. "I know it's going to be relaxing. I have a big day planned for us. I want to take you around and show you some of the really cool sights in the city."
"Really?" Lauren perked up, green eyes reflecting an amazing amount of light from the window. "Like what?"
"Depends." I smiled. "Have you ever been much of a baseball fan?"
"Sure."
"Great." I wiggled my eyebrows. "We're going to have so much fun."
Lauren had been steadily getting better, in more ways than one. It had been a respectable number of days since her last relapse, and I could see in her eyes the light that was reflecting just that. Polishing off the perfect breakfast, I quickly jumped out of bed and into the shower, getting Lauren to follow me so I could help her gently clean the healing gunshot wound in her shoulder. Oddly enough, she complied to the rather outgoing request without much hesitation, making me wonder just how high her comfort level around me was.
The outfit for the day was a pair of light blue washed jeans that rose low beneath my navel and a soft grey sweater with long sleeves to brace from the cool nip in the air. Overtop I threw an army green jacket, the zipper undone for the perfect range of motion. Meanwhile Lauren donned a soft grey pullover hoodie underneath a black leather jacket, her shoulder bound with light bandage to keep from extraneous movements. Her long legs were covered with a pair of black leggings, which combined with every other anatomically blessed aspect of her lower half, was worth an easy million.
Stuffing my wallet into the pocket of my jacket, I quickly yanked open a small tin of cat food and emptied the contents into Maya's food dish, using a spoon to scrape as much as I could out of the small container. The feline was tucked in Lauren's arms, receiving a hearty scratch behind the ears and purring like mad.
"Alright Maya, you're going to need to say goodbye to the love of your life for the day." I informed the golden tabby. "Because she's coming with me."
"Aw, she looks sad." Lauren noted, the knuckle of her index finger brushing underneath the cat's chin.
"Yeah, separation anxiety really is a bitch." I set the food bowl down on the ground near the adjoining water and tossed the spoon into the sink. The empty can was quickly rinsed with hot water before getting tossed into the recycling.
"Don't worry." Lauren instructed the cat in her arms, pressing on Maya's ears and folding them down. "You won't have to listen to her vulgar language."
"Are you covering her ears?" I placed a hand on my hip. "Really?"
"She's sensitive." Lauren pouted, placing a long kiss on the side of the animal's muzzle before setting her down. Maya began to prance happily towards the food, shoving her face down into the bowl and going to town.
"Yeah, she looks like a real emotional train wreck right now." I looked down my overweight house pet with an abysmal shake of the head. "Alright, ready to go?"
"Ready."
The two of us made our way down into the underground garage, getting into my well-loved car and taking to the city painted orange and red by autumn's brush. Our first stop was to a full scale replica of the events describing the Boston Tea Party. I had visited the little attraction with Shawn and his son before, and was thrilled at the chance to go back.
"So you're into history?" Lauren asked as the man behind the bar handed us both an insulated cup of hot apple cider that smelled strongly of rum. I accepted my ID back from him, sliding it into the inner pocket of my coat and thanking him sarcastically. He hadn't even questioned Lauren's age, yet apparently I looked like I should have had some sort of adult supervision.
"Yeah." I nodded, guiding her back outside. "I always have my nose lodged up in the world of Economics and stress inducing numbers, so it's nice to sit back and consider history once and a while. The best part about it is that I don't have to discover anything. All the shit has already happened, so it's perfect for lazy asses like me."
"Um..." Lauren dipped her chin down, eyes locked on something just behind me. I turned around to see a pair of small children, gazing up at me with wide, curious eyes. Their mother stood just behind, scowling deeply.
"Sorry." I lifted my shoulders. "I didn't know you were there."
"This is a children's attraction." The woman snapped, whisking both her kids away into the crowd.
Turning back to Lauren, I shrugged. "Well fuck it."
The girl just giggled, taking my hand and turning us back to the rather well acted out replica of the events leading to the American Revolution. When it was finished, we smuggled our ceramic to-go cups out of the museum and got back into the car, heading to my next planned stop.
The stop happened to be in a heart of a little French block, buried among an existing quaint neighbourhood. Dubbed "The Patisserie", one of the cafe's lovely waitresses who had been crushing on Shawn for as long as we had lived there, greeted me instantly. Lauren and I found a table, and before long we were sitting in front of a variety of fruit tarts, a buttermilk chocolate cupcake and two slices of incredible looking dairy-free pecan pie.
"They do chocolate like a boss here." I explained, handing Lauren a fork and plucking a sliced strawberry off the top of a tart. "You've got to try."
"You take some first." Lauren had shed her leather jacket, and now sat with the strings of her hoodie pulled tight to cover her neck.
"I can't." I grinned. "Lactose, remember?"
The girl blinked, green eyes confused. "Then how do you know the chocolate is so good?"
"I took some by accident the first time we came here." I shrugged, reaching across the table and sliding the chocolate buttermilk cupcake towards her. "It was the worst afternoon of my life, like Operation Overlord was being reenacted in my stomach. Just try."
Looking down at the sweet, Lauren pursed her lips in concentration and removed the cake from it's translucent wrapper, lifting it and taking a small bite. Chocolate icing ended up on the side of her nose, covering up the small stud on her left nostril. I smiled, trying to mask my utter amusement.
"It's good." She nodded, brows lifting. It was then when the waitress popped by with a steel canister and it's attached nozzle, lifting it with a smile.
"Did you gals want some whipped cream on anything? We just made up a fresh caramel chocolate batch."
"Ooh, yes please." I lifted the slice of pie in front of me, grinning wide as she topped it with a decadent swirl of golden coloured cream. Stabbing at the end with a fork, I bit down on the mouthful and chewed happily, watching Lauren gaze at me, unblinking.
"Camila." She lifted an eyebrow.
"Mmhm?"
"Lactose."
"Fuck!" I spat out the mouthful, the chewed up bits of pie and whipped cream spraying across the table and landing on Lauren's arms, as well as the middle of her sweatshirt. "Goddamn Cuba bullshit!"
Slowly reaching for a napkin, Lauren masked a light laugh. "Are you blaming Cuba?"
"Yeah." I set my fork down and switched my plate with the unmarked piece, setting the one now covered in whipped cream in front of Lauren. "Apparently something like over fifty percent of the Latino population of North America are lactose intolerant. Apparently it's because there's no fucking dairy south of the United States, so all the jumping beans can't eat cheese. Something that's completely avoidable!"
"Jumping beans?" Lauren blinked. "Isn't that a little racist?"
"It's fine, I'm Cuban." I brushed her off, stabbing the second slice and going to town. We ended up polishing off the rest of the desserts together, then ordering a few cups of coffee to go and getting back into the car.
"This neighbourhood is beautiful." Lauren looked had pressed her free hand against the passenger seat window, peering out the glass covered in condensation. "I didn't even know it existed."
"That's what I'm here for." I placed my hand over her thigh across the gear shift, scratching gently at the jean material. "Ready for our next stop?"
"There's more?" Lauren looked back at me, light dancing in her eyes. "Really?"
"Oh we're just getting started my dear." I wiggled my eyebrows. Jamming the key into the car's ignition, I directed the car right onto the streets again. "Next we're going to do something that I hope is okay with you... it's a little risky."
"What is it? Lauren asked, taking a long sip from her coffee.
"I want to get a tattoo, I... was hoping that you'd be alright with coming with me."
"Really?" Lauren granted me a small smile. "Now?"
"Is that okay?" I looked over at her, biting my lip. "I was sorta hoping that you knew a good place to get them done. Shawn had his done before he left for school, so he had no real recommendations for me in Boston."
"Yeah, I think that would be fun." She nodded. "I can show you where I got most of mine, I know the guy there and he's really nice."
"Perfect." I nodded. "Lead the way."
***
The parlour that Lauren had in mind wasn't far from her apartment, nestled in the heart of downtown and surrounded by a number of Asian fusion restaurants. The moment we stepped inside, a large, fully inked man with a sleeveless shirt and a mop of thick blonde hair on his head greeted the green eyed with with a big wave.
"Lauren!" He boomed. "Wow, it's great to see you again! Are you back for some more artwork on the chest? Finally taken my advice?"
"No Randy." Lauren shook her head with a smile, then placed her hand on my shoulder. "My friend here was thinking about getting something, I thought I would bring to her to you."
"Wow, really?" The man got up from where he was sitting and made his way over to me, holding out his hand. "Sounds great. I'm Randall McLaughlin, it's nice to meet you."
"You too." I shook it kindly, having to crane my neck to look up at him. "So I'm not going to get hepatitis or anything from doing this here?"
"No, of course not." The man laughed. "Lauren here has got all her art done with me, and not a single infection in sight. We've also got a crap ton of customer testimonials if you want to take a look."
"He's really amazing at it too." Lauren was nodding. "Anything you can imagine, he can create."
"Awesome." I followed them both to one of the back rooms and removed my jacket, handing it to the green eyed girl before hoisting myself up onto the chair. "I want something on my inner forearm, right where I can see it. Something unique, no words... and maybe with colour."
"Alright." Randy sat down on the stool next to me and started arranging some tools, as well as a pencil and sheet of graph paper. "Were you thinking of a particular object, like a skull, a flower or a butterfly? Or maybe something more abstract, like a pattern, or Chinese symbols?"
"Mm..." I thought for a moment. "I'd like something abstract. Something that only I, and the people closest to me would understand."
"Alright, so tell me about yourself." The man nodded with a smile. "What are some things you like?"
I thought for a moment. "I really like the sun, and everything associated with it. I like bright colours, like trees in spring and fall. I'm really down with lively, happy things."
The man watched me for a moment, nodding slowly before getting up and retrieving a tablet from the other side of the room. Unlocking the device, he sat back down and did a quick search before holding out an image. "How about this?" He asked, the screen displaying a number of unique brushstrokes of yellows and oranges and reds.
"Wow." My eyes widened. The paint strokes were short yet thick, the colours blending and creating a red, orange and yellow gradient as they mixed together. I held out my left arm, imagining the pseudo paint brushed against my skin. "That's actually perfect."
"Yeah?" The man nodded. "And you're okay with sitting tight for a while so I can get the layers of colour just right?"
I looked over my shoulder at Lauren, who was studying the picture as I had been. "Are you okay with sticking around for a little bit?"
"Of course." She nodded.
"Great." Randy got up, heading to the other side of the room and arranging some washable markers of various colours. "Then let's get started."
An hour and a half later, I was getting out of the chair with a patch of soft white cloth over the inked area. Lauren had sat and watched through the entire thing, holding my hand the moment the needle touched my skin. At some point, the pain endorphins kicked in, and the feeling was far more euphoric than it was painful. I kept my hold on her hand despite that however, for the feeling of the faded scars on her palm were oddly satisfying.
"So give it a few hours, then take off the bandage, make sure not to get it terribly dirty before the rim seals up, and don't get into any hot tubs anytime soon." Randall instructed, accepting my debit card and sliding it into the machine. "If the colour fades, here's my card. I'm happy to do free touch-ups for a friend of Lauren's."
"That's amazing, thank you." I tapped in my PIN and confirmed the payment before we bid goodbye to the jolly artist and returned to the streets. Evening was starting to fall, as were the temperatures.
"So where to next?"
"Well..." I pulled my jacket over my shoulders. "I was thinking... we go on a little bit of a late night tour of Fenway Park."
"The baseball field?"
"No, the strip club." I replied sarcastically. "Yes the baseball field. It's going to be fun, and you said this morning that you were into sports."
"That sounds awesome." Lauren smiled. "I'd love to see it at night. My father used to take us when we were younger, he was a massive Red Sox fan."
I grinned at her over my shoulder, unlocking the car. "Don't you think anyone who lives in this city has to be a massive Red Sox fan? I was here when the Yankees came into town... people started egging their hotel window."
"How American." Lauren replied, looking up at the sky, which was quickly darkening. I watched her expression, curious as to how the light in her eyes that had been dancing only a few hours ago was quickly starting to dull. I glanced upwards as well, wondering if in some way, the night was some kind of trigger for her. "So did you want me to drive? Your arm might be a little sore."
"You've got a licence?" I asked, dipping my chin down at her.
"No, but I've been taught how to drive a car." The green eyed girl shrugged. "And as long as I do it carefully, and you keep your seatbelt on I'm sure we can get by."
I locked eyes with her, searching her expression for a hint of teasing, but there was nothing. I smiled, nodding. "Deal."
I learnt on the way to the park that Lauren was a far safer, and more aware driver than I had ever been. It was both a moment of pride for her, and complete crestfallen annoyance for me. Yet every time I glanced over at the way her perching green eyes flickered back and forth through traffic, it made me fall just a little harder.
***
By the time we arrived at the park, the sun had sunk below the skyline. Lauren and I made our way from the loosely populated parking lot and into the small touring area. There was already a group of excited people, including a number of young children with Red Sox caps on their heads and comically large baseball mitts on their hands. I quickly added the two of us to the roster, then returned to wait with her.
"Kids are interesting." Lauren murmured when I approached her, her soft gaze locked on a young girl who was bouncing up and down with excited glee at the prospect of a foam finger that was at least two times larger than her head. Her father, who was standing a foot or two away was watching with a proud smile.
"Yeah?" I shimmied over to her side. "Interesting how?"
"Like I don't know... they're so free." Lauren clarified. "They always seem to have a smile on their face, no matter what's happening in the world. They have bubbles to protect them that just... pop as they get older."
"Hey." I slid my freshly tattooed arm down and took her hand. "They don't always pop."
Lauren was quiet, her eyes now moved from the girl and fixed down on the floor. "They don't?"
"I mean... of course they'll pop a lot." Is shrugged. "But that doesn't mean that you can't always have a smile on your face."
She looked at me, her hand squeezing mine, as if she was trying to hold on to something that was slipping away far to quickly. I gripped her back, stepping forward and placing a soft kiss against her lips and humming into the contact.
"Thank you." Lauren murmured, her voice nearly inaudible when she pulled away.
I simply nodded, keeping our fingers laced tight as we followed the tired tour guide out of the small waiting area and into the main field. We walked through the overarching hallway to get out into the base, stepping out into what seemed like endless darkness. A few seconds later, every light in the stadium came on, illuminating the area from top to bottom. Children and adults alike around us started to make noises of wonder, as the tour guide started to speak about the structure and it's architectural history to those who were interested.
I didn't let go of Lauren's hand as we walked further into the stadium, approaching the bottom of the diamond. She was quiet, her eyes roaming around the thousands of empty seats.
"You said your father brought you here when you were younger?" I asked softly, glancing over my shoulder to see that the rest of the tour was off doing their own thing, exploring the area at their own pace.
"Yeah." I nodded. "My brother and I. My... younger sister was too little to really understand, or even tolerate being around so many loud people for such a long time, but the two of us loved it."
"I guess there must be a bunch of memories associated with this place." I added, letting my own gaze roam.
"There are." The girl nodded. "Many, actually."
I went up to fit my lips to hers, the flame travelling down the back of my neck just the way it typically did when we kissed. When her lips moved back, I felt nearly each nerve ending in my body light up with want. When I pulled away, I saw she was nearly in tears.
"It's okay." I nodded, reaching up and pressing my fingers to her cheek. "Memories... if we push them down, then they get lost inside us. Good or bad, memories need space to breathe."
"It hurts." Lauren murmured, reaching up and adjusting one of the strings of her hoodie. Her cheeks were wet now. "Really badly Camila."
"I know." I pulled the girl against me, crushing her in my arms and ignoring the small sore ebb that sparked in my left forearm. "It's probably going to hurt for a long time, maybe even forever." I squeezed her tighter. "But if you ignore that pain... or mask it by other means then it only gets worse and worse. Just like the memories, you have to let the pain breathe so it doesn't affect you the way it is."
The girl was quiet, caught taking a few controlled breaths before looking at me again. "I might be too far gone." She shook her head. "I've just... I've been on my own for so long."
"But you aren't anymore, alright?" I smiled softly. "You've got me. For as long as you need me. Maybe even longer."
Looking into her eyes, I could see that speckled within the emerald green was a series of bright amber, almost orange flecks near the jet black pupil. Despite the different colours, there was a hollow emptiness behind them.
"You're amazing." The girl breathed, shaking her head and smiling through the thin layer of tears covering her eyes. "I love you Camila."
"I love you too." I replied with confidence and without a moment thought, pressing a firm kiss to her mouth and adjusting the strings of her hoodie. "Which is crazy, because I've never been one to adhere to a relationship. I don't think I've even been with someone for more than two or three months."
Lauren smiled, reaching up with the hand attached to her uninjured shoulder and wiping her eyes. "Is... that what this is?" She questioned timidly. "Are you and I in a relationship?"
"I don't know." I shrugged, moving my hands down to grip gently at her biceps. "But... regardless, I really like this."
"I like this too."
Finishing up at the park, the two of us wearily made our way back home, stumbling exhausted through the front door and waking up the sleeping feline on the back of the couch. While Lauren migrated over to the cat and started petting down the length of it's body, I ripped off every piece of clothing, uncomfortable or otherwise, then stepped into a hot shower.
My heart was pounding with adrenaline throughout each moment I recalled the near perfect day. From the way she had lit up at the taste of rum infused apple cider, or the dash of chocolate buttercream that covered her nose followed by my rather violent expulsion of the whipping cream moments later. The way she had gripped my hand as the initial pain from the tattoo kicked in, or the thin film of tears that covered her already perfect eyes when she got emotional. Which of the moments had been my favourite I couldn't tell. I wanted each to be frozen in it's own polaroid at the back of my mind.
Finishing up, I couldn't stop smiling as I dried myself off and hopped into a comfortable sweatpants and long-sleeved shirt combo with the shoulders cut out. After towel drying my hair, I stepped back out into the apartment and padded into the main room to see Lauren standing in the kitchen, the handle of a cheap ceramic mug dangling between her fingertips. The rest of it was in pieces on the cold tile, and a semi-clear liquid was pooled on the surrounding space.
"Hey, what happened?" I finished wringing out my hair and flipped it over my shoulder. "Did something slip?"
"I can't-" Lauren's voice was low and serious, similar to the way it had been the moment we started to speak over the phone.
"Lauren?" I frowned. "What do you mean? Are you okay?"
"I'm sorry." She muttered, dropping the handle of the cup and turning towards me. "I can't do this Camila, I'm sorry."
"What?" I reached for her, only to have the girl brush me off and grab her jacket from the back of the couch. It was over her shoulders seconds later as she stalked straight out of the apartment and let the door slam closed behind her.
"What the....?" I vocalized, looking at the scene wildly for clues as to what had set her off. Stepping over the pool of what I assumed was hot tea, I scanned the counter to see a simple serrated kitchen knife. My heart began to pound in my ears, and for a completely different reason as before, for covering the jagged edge of the blade was a coating of crimson red.
"Damn it!" I grabbed the blade and hurled it across the room, letting it clatter agains the wall and leave against the off-white paint a small splatter of red. The weapon then fell into the garbage can below.
I turned around and jammed my feet into a pair of shoes before grabbing my keys, phone and a towel before roughly shouldering my way out of the unit. Bolting towards the stairs, I nearly slid down each rail before emerging in a pitifully empty lobby.
"Lauren!" I called, looking around wildly before bursting from the front door and into the ice cold night. "Fuck... Where did she..."
Looking around, I started to make my way down the sidewalk, squinting in the distance to see a flash of dark leather jacket leaning up against a nearby closed jewelry store. Narrowing my eyes, I started towards her.
"Lauren!" I called a third time, relief throbbing in my chest. The sensation didn't last long, for the moment she saw me the girl turned and started to continue on her way down the sidewalk. "Wait, please just stop for a second Lauren, please!" A powerful sense of frustration flared within me when I saw she had no intention of listening, much less stopping.
I rushed forward with a burst of determination and grabbed the girl by her arm, trying to hold her in place. A mangled cry ripped from her her throat, and she stopped abruptly, twisted around and grabbed her shoulder, crumbling to her knees.
"Oh my god, your shoulder..." I let go, reeling back in complete horror. "I'm so sorry, I completely forgot."
"Get away from me." The girl hissed, pulling herself away and turning her back to me. I watched feebly as she continued down the sidewalk, debating over and over whether chasing her further was a good idea. Before I could, the girl had completely vanished into the night, and a powerful feeling of dread was settling over my body.
Ice cold from the shower, I turned around and returned to the apartment, hurrying up the stairwell and fumbling my way back into the unit. Venturing to the bathroom, I then swiped my phone up off the counter and wiped at the screen, unlocking the screen and finding Lauren's number. Three failed calls, a flurry of frantic texts, and one failed video chat request later, I had fallen backwards against the bed and was staring blankly up at the ceiling.
"Not now." I muttered to Maya, who had sprung up on the bed and was sniffing around for a scratch behind the ears. Everything hurt, I was freezing cold, and terribly tired from the day's exciting events. I made it clear to her with a soft bat to the nose, then quickly apologized, grabbing her and wrapping my arms around the feline, eliciting a small mewl of protest.
Sleep took over some time later, albeit cold and uncomfortable. I was woken with the sharp, unpleasant sound of my ringtone, going off only inches from my face and disrupting the cat that had snuggled down next to me. Looking groggily at the screen, the unknown number that flashed across the screen filled me with a generous helping of both hope and anxiety.
"Hello?"
"Hi there, I'm looking for Camila Cabello?"
"Speaking."
"Hi Camila, this is Ally from the hospital. I know it's awfully late, I hope my call isn't too inconvenient."
My stomach did a full three sixty. "No, of course it's fine." I assured the woman, sitting up and running my free hand through my hair. "Is everything okay?"
"I'll let you decide in a moment." There was an entertained lilt in the woman's voice. "I'm calling to let you know that we've just responded to an anonymous emergency call from downtown. Lauren's been taken into our care, and treated for some very significant wounds. For some time they were classified as life threatening, but have been dealt with since. I just figured it would be good to inform you about it. She asked about you once or twice."
I swore softly, placing my free hand down on my knee and leaning forward. "She's okay?" I questioned. "I- tried to stop her, but I think I did more harm than I did good."
"Don't worry." Ally didn't seem phased, more motherly and comforting than she did concerned. "Don't ever blame yourself for the choices she makes. I just figured it would be good for you to know where she was."
"I appreciate it." I looked out the window. "Can I come down and see her? I'm really worried."
There was a moment of quiet, then some rustling of papers. "Of course. I'll make a note to give you clearance at the front desk. When you arrive, just let them know I sent you, and that they can give my office a call if they have any questions."
"Thank you." I breathed, getting up and scanning the room for something decent to wear. "I'll be there in a little while."
Hanging up, I tossed the phone back to the bed and scrambled around my bedroom for clothes. Rushing out of the bedroom in a pair of black leggings, a white v-neck and a soft red flannel overtop, I scooped up my car keys and gave Maya's head a hearty pat before flying down the stairwell and towards the lobby.
There wasn't much action in the early morning, only a car or two, or a sad soul on a bike was all the remained on the downtown streets. Pulling into the public lot, I didn't bother with paying for the parking spot before seeking out the familiar path to the main building and boldly stalking past the front desk like I had every right to be there. Following the signs, I found the hauntingly familiar waiting room, shuddering while clenching the keys in my hand.
"Oh you made it." Ally's familiar warm voice greeted me from behind. "My gosh you got here quick."
"I might have sped a little." I turned around briskly, sliding the cluster of keys into the side of my bra. "We were having such a fun day, and everything was going well, then all of a sudden she was gone."
"It's alright, you didn't do anything wrong." The woman assured me, opening a beige folder between her fingers and handing me a thin sheet of paper. "This is the file the resident typed up when she arrived. It's hastily done and unofficial, but I'll give you a copy."
Accepting the paper, I looked down to see a number of goosebump-worthy terms. The patient presents various incisions and lacerations along her hands and arms, as well as regions on the upper thigh. Evidence of severe bloodletting. Treatment includes temporary intravenous support. Clear loss of reality, Distinct shifts in mood, anger, denial.
"Camila."
I looked up.
"You matter, just as much as Lauren does." Ally dipped her chin down, looking me in the eye. "I don't ever want to hear that this choice you made to take her on gets to a place where you begin to truly suffer as well."
Folding the sheet of paper in fours, I slid it into the waistband of my leggings and looked at the closed door before us. "I owe her my life."
"That doesn't matter." Ally replied quickly. "With Lauren, you can't be selfless. You've payed her back Camila; simply going over to see her that night was doing more than you'll ever know. Promise me that you'll take care of yourself, just as passionately as you take care of her."
Biting down hard on my bottom lip, I turned away, squeezing my eyes shut to keep obvious tears from spilling down my cheeks. Grabbing blindly at the door handle, I pushed my way inside and let it slam closed behind.
***
She was lying on her back, the top half of the bed tilted upwards at a comfortable looking angle. The bandage on her shoulder had been visibly changed, replaced with a cleaner, more tightly padded version of the old material. Compared to her lower arms however, the treatment on her shoulder wasn't much to fuss over.
Lauren had been bandaged up from the middle of her hands to well above the crease of her inner arms. The job was identical on both appendages, while looking sloppy at best. It was rushed and hurried as if whoever had performed the treatment knew the wounds underneath had posed a major threat. She wore her hoodie, and the sleeves were bloodstained at the rims and rolled up as high as they would go. The girl's eyes were closed, the rise and fall of her chest deep and steady.
"Lauren." I felt no guilt associated with waking her up. "Hey, it's me. Wake up."
Her eyes fluttered open, dark lashes rising from where they were pressed to her pale skin. The girl was plenty groggy, frowning and blinking the fatigue out of her eyes before turning her head to me.
"Camila?" She shifted in the bed. "Why are you here?"
"Why am I here?" I matched the confused look on her face. "I'm here because I was terrified for you." Stepping forward, I brushed my fingers against hers, locking them together and making sure to avoid the bandaged region of her palm. "I'm sorry Lauren... I never meant to hurt you back there."
"Stop." Lauren shifted forward. "Don't be sorry..."
As she moved, the bandages on her arms did as well, and from between the strips I could detect a hint of red appear beneath some of the lines. Concerned, I took my free hand and pressed it against her chest, keeping her still. "Are you okay?" I murmured, searching her eyes for a sensation of pain that I knew the walls she had around her would keep me from seeing. "How bad was it?"
"Bad." The girl's eyes fell. "I should be the one apologizing to you."
Exhaling, I shook my head. "We shouldn't have taken so much time to do all that stuff today... that was too much. I- I'm just thankful that you're safe." Mustering as courageous a smile as I could, I moved my hand from her chest, down to her knee and squeezed gently. "You really scared me."
Lauren looked down. "No." She replied softly. "I... had a lot of fun today Camila. I really enjoy spending time with you, it makes me really happy."
"If that's the case then why did you leave?" I protested quietly. "And you used the knife..." My voice trailed off as tears threatened to make the rest of the sentence useless to her ears.
"I'm sorry." Her shoulders sagged, breaking my heart. "I see things... visions... nightmares."
"Visions like what?"
"Most often I see myself." She looked at me, her green eyes full of sadness. "Tearing off parts of my arms, pulling out veins... killing that poor family. Those innocent children. There are voices that tell me it's my job to make those realities real."
"Lauren, no." I inched closer, leaning forward and brushing a kiss to her mouth. I let it linger, cupping her cheek in my hand and bathing in the intense sweetness of her lips. The contact was half for my sake, and half to keep her from continuing the rather gruesome train of thought. "None of that is real... none of it is reality. The only voice I want you to hear is mine."
"How do you know?" She whispered, tears trailing down her cheeks and against my hand.
"Because I'm real." I smiled again. "And I know that the only person that you've ever truly hurt is yourself. You're just broken Lauren." I looked down at the bandages wrapped around her arms, noting that more redness was starting to bleed through the cloth. "You're very very broken, and I swear I'm not going to stop until I put you back together. The way you were meant to be."
"Camila..." The girl's voice trailed off.
"I'm not going to stop." I repeated, shaking my head insistently. "I'm not gonna break, or run away, or leave you. I don't care how long it takes, I will make you a new reality."
"Thank you." She nearly whispered, letting me reach up and brush the wetness away from her eyes.
"Let's get you out of here." I nodded, grabbing her jacket from the bedpost a foot away and helping her carefully roll the sleeves of her hoodie over her bandages. "We'll go home, get something warm to drink, then sleep. Dreams only, no nightmares."
Lauren nodded, shuffling forward and getting into a shaky standing position.
"Dreams only." She repeated to herself, taking a deep breath. "No nightmares."
***
A/N: Thank you for reading, the next part will come out very soon. :)