A/N: So this is something I've tried. If it's bad, I won't even stop you from reading it. But just that since this is in Asher's POV and it is the time he confesses, I've used the same dialogues of the scene which is originally written, just revised them. So I hope you like like it, I really do. Enjoy!
ASHER'S POV.
So you know you're whipped when you think about a certain someone so much. Like, you know that now, you cannot and will not be able to unwhip yourself.
That's what's happened to me now. Whipped might not be a great word to describe exactly how I'm feeling, but it's on the borderline. Somewhat. If you'd asked me if I would ever feel this way a year back, I would've probably gone batshit crazy on you. I sure as hell knew that I would never feel the 'l' of love. Wow, I'm even saying that loudly.
The fact that I'm admitting that I love her now makes me want to scream at myself. Oh, you could have said it in another lifetime, perhaps?
But, honest talk, I'm glad I love someone like her. I know I'll never find anyone like her, clichéd or not. Birdie saved me, as cheesy and painstaking as it sounds. She brought a whole lot of feelings I didn't even imagine having and allowed me to fall in love with those feelings. I might seem like a clingy hormonal sixteen year old girl after watching 'The Notebook', but honestly, Birdie deserves all this. She deserves all the happiness in the world, goddamnit, and it's about time she realizes that.
I am in love with Wren Martin.
So, like all sappy clichés, I thought I should just let her know, you know? Like in the movies, when your best friends go all inspirational and philosophical on you and literally and figuratively push you off the couch and tell you to tell her that you love her and then somehow you're running and everyone on the streets just know you're going to ask your girl out? I almost fell for that shit. Almost being the key word. But, instead, my best friends were penguins. Useless penguins.
"Asher. The last thing I need you to do is stand in the rain and kiss Wren and get pneumonia." Zack says, and I roll my eyes, "Wow, Zack, are you out of references to use or are you just that dumb? The Notebook? Really? Of all movies?" I ask, and Brody laughs, shaking his head, "God, Zack."
"What? That's so sick, I mean why would you want to kiss wet lips in a wet atmosphere? Also when wet things are falling on you?" he remarks, and I roll my eyes again. "That just ruined rain for me. You had to describe raindrops as wet things didn't you? That was one pathetic innuendo, dude. Don't use it again, you might just scare Mia away." I say and throw a beer at Brody and get myself one. "I honestly think you need help. Real talk." Brody suggests, and Zack sighs. "I don't know, man. Getting help is expensive these days. I'll skip that party. Also, besides, you guys know you like my innuendos. You are just in denial." Zack explains, and me and Brody look at each other, shaking our heads. "What do we do with you, you demented little piece of shit?" we say at the same time, and Zack smiles. "So now when are you going to say it?" he changes subject, and Brody looks at me, pensive. "When time comes, actually. See, it'll eventually come by itself. You guys know I don't plan such delicate things, right? Especially when it comes to Wren. If I fuck this up, I swear, I'll never forgive myself." I mumble, and they nod, each in their own thoughts. "How about this time don't make it as extravagant as Prom? Because we all know she might just have a heart attack when you say 'I love you' on a big card when balloons are flying away." Brody exclaims, amusement in his voice. "Yeah," I say and laugh, glad that that day happened as I had planned it would. Her face was so beautiful, damn it. "Ash, you'll do okay the day or the moment you finally say it. Wren just missed out on this sexy body," he motions to his toned body, and I chuckle. "And as much as it pains me to tell you this, I'm glad she missed out on me. It makes me so damn happy to see you smile again, Asher. It had been absolutely forever. So now, because you're my shitty best friend and I hate you so much, I trust you that you'll keep her happy. Because also, what choice do I have?" he softly says, and I hug him, "you fucking idiot." He laughs and slaps my back, "Don't hurt her okay, Ash wipe? She's my best friend too, you know. I won't hesitate to slap your head upside down if I see her hurt." He says, and I nod, "yes, sir." And he smiles.
Damn all hell for great best friends like Brody Knight. "So now that you've oh so kindly shown me the great dynamics of your new found bromance, care to let me in too?" Zack motions to the hug, "no," Brody and I say, and he frowns. We laugh, but Zack jumps on us and joins in anyway.
4 HOURS LATER
Wren Martin made me feel things no one could make me feel. She drove me absolutely insane. She messed my mind up, and I couldn't stop thinking about her. Everything about her drove me fucking insane. I had made my mind up.
Even if we'll eventually turn to dust and disappear, I want Wren Martin to be with me. I love her, in all ways humanly possible. And I sure as hell won't be able to survive "forever" without her. Wren Martin completes me, even if that sounds creepy and utterly stupid. Why do you do this to me, birdie, God.
It's funny how I was joking about it four hours back and obsessing now. Like, go home or go nothing type of obsessed.
Birdie, what have you done?
So since I asked (deeply convinced) Birdie to go out with me to give her a break, I also had something else in mind. I told her to bring her hoodie with her. The one she carries around everywhere, and claims to have protected her. I want Birdie to free herself from this thing she calls safety. She clings on to it like it's her life, and it's about time she let it go. She doesn't face her problems. She's taught me to face 'em, but she won't. Birdie is strong; she just refuses to accept it in simple ways. So, she needs someone to tell her that in a more elaborate way. I intend to do just that.
I drive her to the woods, nearby to her house. All the way her face is scrunched up in such an adorable way, and I restrain myself from kissing her. So hard to do, I tell you. Birdie was so beautiful, God.
As we reach, "If you're considering killing me now and disposing my body in the forest..." she starts, and I smile, knowing that she's excited and nervous at the same time.
Do you know that feeling where you literally want to jump up and scream of how much you love a person? That's how I feel, all the time. Birdie changed me in all the best ways possible.
The way her hands held mine as I told her about my dark past, to which she didn't judge, didn't run away, and supported me, stayed. The agony I felt when I saw her vulnerable during the attack and how still, she stirred on, never giving up. How she finally made me feel alive when she said yes, when she kissed me like I wanted to kiss her for so long.
She made me fall for her each passing day.
So, with all these emotions overflowing inside my brain, I lead her to a deeper area, a place with a campfire. It's time to end her misery.
"You planning to burn me alive?" she asks, "not quite," I reply, stoic of how she'll reply. "Okay," she says, getting serious. "What else then?" she questions, and I start, "People become attached to certain objects to satisfy certain emotional needs. Often, the threat of loss of that object tends to trigger anxiety because it threatens the loss of security it has earned," I say, almost robotically, and she raises her eyebrows, "What?" she asks, "You have an emotional attachment to that hoodie," I state, and she glances at it, "An emotional attachment? What're you trying to say?" she stutters, and I think, well, she's cooperating. "Think about it, when do you wear your hoodie?" I ask, pressing. "When I'm cold?" she answers, now clearly perplexed. Okay, maybe not. "Birdie," I say, and she frowns, "Asher what exactly are-" she starts, but I cut her off, "when your anxiety builds up or when you feel socially inept. I'm simply telling you to get rid off that hoodie. Now, getting rid of it won't exactly eradicate negative feelings, but it means you can't hide behind it anymore. It's okay to feel, birdie. It's human to feel." I say softly, "you're right maybe-" she says, and I say, "Burn it." She stares at me. She deliberates quite a bit, but eventually she says, "I can't Asher, don't make me do it," softly, "You can do it. It might seem completely insane, but it makes sense and maybe one day it will to you." I say, "No, you don't understand. This hoodie, it makes me feel safe. Protected. I can't destroy that." She mutters, "You don't need it to feel safe. You need to face problems, birdie. You can't keep running away. They will catch up with you. Confrontation is key." I firmly say, and she seems speechless. Ten points to Asher Reed for coming up with that.
"Burn it," I say again, and she puts her hoodie down after agreeing to take one of my hoodies in replacement of this one. I have a feeling she kind of wanted me to offer her my hoodie. God, she drove me crazy. The time has come. Oh fiddlesticks, it's here. Well let's not hover, shall we? Proceed, Asher Reed. Tell her how you feel. It has all come to this. Oh dear God, do you know when you want to squeeze someone and tell them how much you love them? I want to squeeze the life out of this girl, damn it. Breathe, Asher.
"I love you, Wren Martin." I say, finally, after so much waiting and so much deliberation. I don't wait for her to say anything. I just hope she knows how much I love her. "It's hard not to fall in love with you. It's inevitable. It's hard not to love your smile, your laugh and the twinkle in your eyes when you're happy. It's even harder to ignore the little things; like how you play with your necklace when you're nervous or how you frown when you concentrate or how when you don't tie your hair up, it falls onto your face. Sometimes I feel like looking at you forever, being with you forever." I pour my heart out to the beautiful girl in front of me. She means the world to me, goddamnit. She bites her lip, and for the love of all things holy, why did she have to do that? God, it's distracting me. "You're worth it, Wren. Every single piece of you." I've been wanting to say that since ages. "I know I can't promise you a forever, but I can promise you that I'll do whatever the hell I can to make sure that smile never falters when you're with me," I promise, also because Brody will have my head if I don't. "Birdie. When you're sad, I'm sad. When you're happy, I'm happy. If this isn't love, I'm not sure what is. All I know is that I love you, Wren Martin. It's taken me an awfully long to admit it, but I am in love with you." I say, and smile heartily.
Wren Martin is the hope I've prayed for. She gave me a forever that I didn't intend on having. She gave me happiness that I didn't plan on getting. She gave me love that I didn't plan on feeling.
I've never felt this strongly towards anyone ever before, and I'm glad I saved it for my Birdie.
Wren Martin was the death of me, it is certain. So since I've pretty much covered all things that scream cliché, sappy and romantic, let me say this one last line that will definitely earn eye rolling from Wren.
Cross my heart and hope to die, Birdie. I love you.
A/N: So, since it's because of Yuen that I finally got the courage to publish my work, I sincerely want to thank her for THG. It means so much to me you cannot imagine. So thank you, yuenwrites, for giving me this beautiful opportunity. I'm forever grateful.
Also, specific mention to my best friend and comprande, my baby, messerspadfoot for being there, throughout. It wouldn't have been possible without you, man. You made me believe in myself, so I love you. Thank you.
I cannot just leave without saying thanks to aksharashetty :') She's always been there. Always. I love you munchkin. Thanks for hitting me on the head and telling me "my English is on fleek." love you heaps.