I killed MY baby

" What happened Julie, why are you acting this way". I tried to ignore what he said so he could leave. He left, I was only thirteen when it happened. I saw something violent, cruel, un happy, and something that had to be forced. I am talking about watching my own mother killing my baby sister. I don't know why she did that, I noticed that she was taking pills, pills that were to much for her. Whenever she took them she would get crazy, she would think that she was a teenager, she would think that I was her sister, she would think that she had no husband. The worst day when she took it, was when she did it. I spent the rest of my life like a Goth chick. Sad, depressed, and worthless. It has only been 4 years when it happened. I can still hear my little sister screaming help every time she got closer. I tried to help, I was to scared, I regretted not helping her for the last four years. My dad didn't even try to help. He just saw her about to attack and ran of, when she was done, I attacked her and she was about to kill me to, I slapped the knife off of her hands. The police came, they said that she will never get out, that's actually what I am hoping for. Now my life has changed, my friends made fun of me when she did that, my boyfriend dumped me when I told him and my teachers think I need physiological help. The only person that I can talk is my grandmother, she doesn't know what happened. I mean she did, but when I told her she went in shock and forgot what I told her. It is really hard to keep something so important a secret, especially if you want to talk about it, you know you cant. Sometimes I wonder if my mom even remembers what happened, today I will find out. I asked my dad if I can go visit her, he said " well if you really want to, I wont stop you, but please be careful. You never know what she might have in her hands." I went to bed, the next day I woke up early, I took my shower, got on my car and I was there. I could feel all the hatred, anger, sadness from that place. I got in and had to wait in the waiting area. She walked in, I thought to myself " oh my god, she really let herself go", her hair was all nodded, she had scars on her face and arms, her teeth were as yellow as corn, her face was as white as a plain wall, her lips were as crusty like a rock. She sat down very gently, she said my name she asked how I was, I answered with " I am doing terrible". She said " why", " oh I don't know, maybe because IT'S THE DAY YOU KILLED MY LITTLE SISTER!!!!!!!!!!!". I took a big deep breath, she said that she didn't remember that day, she said that she was very sorry if she did any damage to me. I got so frustrated, she asked about dad, and about granny. I said very fastly before she can even finish talking, " they're fine!". I told her that she shouldn't expect another visit from me again. She said that she was sorry again, I told her that the sorry can not make up for what she did, I told her that, because of what she did my life had changed and that it will never go back. I left after that, I saw how she didn't even turn back, I didn't care. I got home my dad asked me how it went,I told him the whole story. Even he apologized for not being there when I needed him, unlike her, I forgave him. I went upstairs and I got a text from Bethany my best friend that laughed in my face. She told me that she wanted to apologize for laughing about what had happened. I said that I would have to think about forgiving her, I told her "I couldn't believe that you would do that, I would never do that to you if that happened". She said " I know, I am so sorry", I did not respond. I started to read a book about a murder I fell asleep. The next day my dad woke me up, he was sweating and very nervous and scared. I asked what was wrong, he said that my mom had escaped, she found an air vent and went inside and got out. I got scared and I also felt ready and brave. I felt like that because if she came and attacked me, my dad or my grandmother I would stop her or fight back. I was waiting right beside my house and my granny's house. It is a good thing that she lives right next to me. I saw a car pull out in front of my house, I saw a leg with some shiny cherry red high heels coming out. It was my mom, she came out looking like a rich slut. She had a knife in her hand, she did not notice that I was beside the house, she yelled " oh Julie come outside and lets see what you're made of". I didn't come out, she said " alright if you wont come out, then i'll just have to come in". She slammed the door with her foot, she checked the living room, the kitchen, the den, the bathroom's, then she went upstairs she went into my room. She noticed that it looked like someone was in my bed, she pulled the bed sheets and nothing was there. She came back outside and yelled again " Julie , come here honey, I just want to play with you". I came out the bushes and hit her with a frying pan. She went to the floor then got back up. " so it looks like this time you're ready, well lets see how you like meeting your little sister". She tried to stab me I jumped back, she tried again. I pulled my dads gun and machete and whip. I tried to stab her, she ducked and slapped it off my hands like I did to her. I tried to hit her with my whip, she caught it and threw to the ground then finally I tried to shoot her. She said to me while laughing " oh Julie, we both know that you will never shoot your own mother". She came closer and told me to put the gun down. She put her hands on the gun and started to put it down. I said " you know what, your right I would never shoot my mother, but yournoy my mother anymore. I had shot her in the chest, she started bleeding and kneeled in front of me. She started to grunt, and then she died. My dad came out with my granny, they said "well that will be the last time we hear from her". Five years passed, my dad was congratulating me, he was nervous of letting me go, I told him that he shouldn't worry, because now I have a new man that will protect me for the rest of my life. He gave me his blessing and we said our goodbyes. My life did change after all, and it was the best thing that has ever happened to me