"What are you wanting to show me?" I ask as I cross my arms over my chest.
I'm having flashbacks of the first "date" we went on. I still don't consider it a date. We both shoved hamburgers down our throats for a bet and he called it a date.
"I guess you'll have to find out," he tells me, a grin on his face. He sets his board down and makes room for another person to put their feet there. "If you're the same Jessa I remember, you're gonna have to find out because it'll kill you if you don't know."
I narrow my eyes at him and look between the board and his challenging face.
Why does he always do this to me?
"Fine," I say. My Friday night fell into the gutter with the that last bowling ball I bowled. What else could go wrong?
"But I'm walking." I add as I start to walk aimlessly down the sidewalk.
Will shrugs his shoulders and pushes off to catch up with me. The conversation is limited to where we're going, how it's going to be a surprise, and how I've gotten tired of surprises over the years.
Like the surprise of walking in on your boyfriend kissing another girl.
Especially those surprises.
"You know," Will says. "You thanked me for helping you the other day, but I didn't thank you."
"For what?" I ask him.
"Mom doesn't know I've already had detention. Now she thinks you and I were just hanging out." He kicks off with his foot again and glides beside me. "Thanks for saving my butt. She didn't have enough time to ask me where I was before she rushed me out of the house to come to yours."
"Oh, um, you're welcome," I tell him. "Why do you care now, though?"
He doesn't seem offended by what I said. "Liahona wasn't my favorite place, but it taught me a lot of things. I was a really bad kid, for starters."
I let out a laugh. "That's an understatement."
Will chuckles at the memories. He was arrested at least six times, most of them for vandalism or trespassing. Bad is an understatement.
"Anyway, I guess I just don't want to disappoint my mom again. She was so mad at me when she had make the choice to send me away. She didn't know the extent of my behavior until then, I guess." He finishes.
"Looks like you and I are in the same predicament," I say the words I never wanted to say.
"How's that?"
"You don't want your weird attraction to trouble getting around to your mom to avoid disappointment," I say and he confirms it with a nod. "And I don't want my mom finding out I'm not on the cheerleading team."
"Is that because she'll be disappointed in you? Why did you do something you hate so much for so long-"
I shake my hand to get him to stop. "It's not about that. I just want to make you a deal."
He nods. "I'm listening."
"We keep each other's secrets."
"What if I don't get into any trouble?"
"We all know you will. Besides, you still have to help cover for me."
He finally agrees with me a second later. I feel a little bit of relief that I won't have to tell Mom. Maybe I'll be at college on the other side of the country by the time she finds out.
By the time I feel as if I've walked about thirty miles, I look to Will and stop walking. He rolls to a stop just ahead of me and watches me.
"What?" He asks.
"Are we almost there? I've got some things to do."
"At almost 10 at night?"
"Yeah, it's called sleep."
He rolls his eyes at me and takes long strides to reach me before taking my hand and pulling me down the sidewalk. He stops where there is a blockage of vines and small trees lining the sidewalk.
Then he pulls me through it and I almost curse him for doing that. My hair gets tangled in the mess above me and I groan and gripe, but I get it out easily.
The man-made path that Will makes leads us to the docks where several boats and pontoons and whatnot are anchored. There are tall lamps gleaming off the water as it moves slowly and quietly.
I don't say anything as I follow him - I can't help but feel we're sneaking around - until I see one boat in particular.
It's still black from the fire that was ignited from the inside. It also hasn't moved since the accident. But, sitting outside of it on the wooden dock is a pile of lumber and a large green tote. Is someone fixing it up?
"Is that the-" I start to ask but Will answers before I get it out.
"Yeah." He nods his head. "That's the one."
I purse my lips and look away from the mess. "Where are we headed?"
Will turns to me and smiles. "Right here."
He points to the pontoon bobbing up and down almost unnoticeably in front of me.
"Whose is it?" I ask him. He steps into it and offers me his hand. "I'm not getting into that until you tell me whose it is. I can't keep getting in trouble, Will. Those days are over."
Does he not remember our deal from five minutes ago?
He drops his hands to his sides and looks up at me, pursing his lips. "I'm not looking for trouble, okay? I'm just looking for some fun."
Seeing that I still don't want to get in the boat, he sighs. "I know the guy. It's okay, I promise." He offers his hand again.
I look around me at my dark surroundings then take his hand. The boat rocks when I practically jump into it.
"What are we doing here?" I ask him once we sit down.
"I wanted to show you how peaceful it was," he tells me. I watch him start the boat and steer us out into the ocean. He doesn't take us far before stopping us where the docks, the boats, and the town above them looks tiny.
I look above us at the night sky filled with stars they look as if I could reach up and touch them.
"It is beautiful," I say aloud.
I don't hear Will say anything, or maybe I'm just too infatuated with the stars to hear him. I lay down on my back so I can stare up at them.
"Can I ask you something?" Will asks and lays down beside me, folding his arms under his head.
"What is it?" I'm not exactly into the conversation - I'd rather be swimming in those stars floating above us than stay here on earth. It can get to be too much sometimes.
"Why do you flinch when someone goes to touch you?"
I feel my pulse quicken. My eyes leave the stars when they are covered by the blackness of my eyelids.
"That's none of your business," I say quietly, swallowing hard.
Will suddenly sits up but doesn't look at me. He runs a hand through his hair and I can tell he's angry.
"If he touches you I'll..."
"You'll what, Will?" I push myself to my feet and walk to the edge of the boat. I don't want to cry, but it's almost impossible. "You broke my heart. What's worse?"
"There's a huge difference, Jessa." He's behind me now. "You don't know the whole story of you and me. There's more, and you don't know it. I did what I did out of love, he... he does what he does out of anger. Pointless anger."
I turn around to look at him but my eyes are blurry. I grow frustrated from the urge to cry and wipe at my cheeks.
"How did you do that out of love? You kissed another girl!" I shout. No one can hear us now, so I let it all out.
All the pain I had been feeling in the past two years - it's finally coming out.
"It's a long story, Jessa. I can't just tell you." He tries hard not to lose his own temper. I can't say the same for myself.
"If you can't tell me then I don't need to stay here. Take me back." So much for peaceful. "Is this why you brought me out here? So you could start on me and know I won't have an escape?"
"No, it's not," he tells me honestly. "I just... I care about you. If he's hitting you then-"
"He doesn't mean to, Will!" I shout before I can stop myself. I hug myself and turn my back to him.
He lowers his tone before speaking. "How can someone not mean to hit you?"
"The same way someone can leave for two years without saying goodbye."
Maybe there isn't any connection between the two, but to me, there has to be. It's all hurt, physical and mental. I feel as if I'm numb to it all anymore.
There's silence between us now.
What's sad is that I know it isn't right; Connor loses his temper sometimes with me just like any other person close to me. He handles it differently - with more anger than he should. He doesn't mean to do it, I know that. He doesn't have bad intentions.
"I'm sorry I did that to you." Will sits down beside of where I'm standing and I can see his face now, the moon reflecting in his eyes. Now that I think about it, the moon is our only light.
I suck in a deep breath and release it. "Why can't you just tell me what happened, Will? I walk in on you with another girl and she's crying and she kisses you and then I'm crying and yelling and then you're just standing there like a sad puppy. Why is that?"
Will shakes his head. "It's complicated, Jessa."
"I gave you my heart when I was thirteen years old. Jumping head first into something that you don't know a thing about - that's complicated."
He gives me a long look before averting his eyes to the small waves splashing against the side of the boat.
"She was thanking me," he finally says.
"For what?" I ask, curious as to what kind of thing he did to deserve that as a thank you.
He looks at me through his lashes. "It's personal to her. I haven't talked to her in two years, I don't know if she's told anyone or not about what happened."
I feel my palms getting sweaty even though I'm not hot. I sit down beside him and try to accept his answer.
"If it was personal to her, why did it involve you? Did you even know her?" I'm calm now, my anger subsided.
"No, actually." He scratches the back of his head as he slowly relaxes from our intense moment. "I didn't know her. I promise you that. I've never kissed another girl while with you, Jess. She kissed me."
After all the times I've felt like he screwed my world over completely, I find myself believing him. But I'm not ready to forgive and forget.
"Let's just drop it for now," I say. "You brought me here for some peacefulness and I'd like to have some of it."
The breath of air he releases tells me he agrees with me.
We both decide to lay down on the floor of the boat again, this time placing life jackets under our heads as pillows.
Maybe coming out here with him was a bad idea. I have a boyfriend - one that's a jerk, yes, but he's still my boyfriend. After seeing the anger in his eyes at school the other day there is no telling what he would do if he found me here with Will.
A couple minutes turn into hours of us lying on the floor in silence. The hours slowly turn into years in my mind, the years into decades.
Eventually, my eyes are fluttering shut and I'm too tired to keep them open.
*
"Get up!" Someone shouts. My ears are the only things paying attention. I can hear the water lapping against the side of the boat and the voice of a stranger not too far away from me. Finally I'm able to open my eyes, but I have to squint.
The sun is out.
Oh no.
I sit up at lightning speed, which I instantly regret, and look for Will. He's lying with his back pressed against my leg, curled up and still sleeping like a baby.
"What are two doing on my boat?" A strange man asks. He's sitting on a small boat beside the pontoon with a security guard behind him. Both of them have familiar facial expressions on - we're in big trouble.
I shake Will until he wakes up and looks at me with groggy eyes.
"What?" He asks as he rubs his eyes.
I don't have to say anything before he realizes we have visitors. He glances at me and his eyes grow wide.
"Uh, Mr. Romano, nice to see you again, sir." The anxiousness in Will's voice is evident.
"William Dawson?" The old man, who I assume is Mr. Romano, says. "What are you doing here?"
"Um... surprise?" Will says. I run my hand through my wet and stringy hair.
"Get in the boat, you two. You're trespassing," the guard siting behind Mr. Romano tells us as he stands to look at us. Will gets up and offers me a hand. I take it and allow him to help me up.
The guard escorts us into the other boat easily as Mr. Romano boards his pontoon and starts it up.
As the guard starts the engine on the small boat, I look at Will and glare daggers at him.
"What is this, Will?" I whisper-yell so the guard does hear us.
Will just gives me a look. He doesn't say anything until we get off the boat and are safely on the docks.
"Are you going to arrest us?" Will asks the guard as we walk back to end of the dock. I walk lag behind them, still exhausted from sleeping on a boat floor the whole night.
The guard pursues his lips and looks out at the docks where Mr. Romano is anchoring the pontoon.
When he finally approaches us, he gives Will and me a hard look before looking at the guard.
"Chip, 'cuff 'em."
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So, why do you think the mystery girl was thanking Will with a kiss? Do you believe Will's story? What do you think about Jessa's big secret about Connor and his anger issues?
The song is Unconditionally by Katy Perry and the picture is from Tumblr!