Chapter 29
Kelly's Point Of View
Pumasok ako sa kwarto ko kung nasaan si Suzy habang dala-dala ang isang baso ng tubig, dito siya pinatuloy ni kuya kanina nung iniwan niya ito para manigarilyo. She was sobbing hard, burying her face from her palms as she is sitting at the edge of my bed.
As she heard the door clicked close, she lifted her gaze to meet mine. I felt guilty when I saw how vulnerable she looked tonight. Her makeup is ruined by her streaming tears; her lipstick is smudged, and her eyeliner is leaking black below her eyes. If I may be honest, she looked hideous and ugly, malayong malayo sa perfectionist at maarteng Suzy na kilala ng lahat.
Nawala ang lahat ng tatag niya nang makita ako. Right in front of me is a weak girl. She looked so fragile and breakable, yung konting tulak niya na lang ay matutumba na siya kaagad.
I felt pity, which is unexpected and out of the blue because if I look back, I looked as frail as her during her reigning days. I'm not supposed to feel compassion towards her after all she did to me, to us.
Pero kahit na ipagpilitan ko sa sarili ko kung gaano siya ka-demonyo, it's understandable that she's still a human. Alam kong may rason siya sa mga pinanggagawa niya. It may be misguided, pero lahat ng tao ay nagkakamali rin. Tatanggapin ko ang mga kasalanan niya, pero hindi ko alam kung kaya ko siyang patawarin. She left me deep wound.
I walked towards her as I fetched my comb from the vanity table. I climbed to the bed and positioned myself behind her to brush her hair gently. She didn't react to my gesture; she just sat there, quietly crying herself out.
"Inumin mo muna yung tubig." Mahinang sabi ko sa kanya habang sinusuklay ko ang buhok niyang magulo dala ng pagdurusa niya. Hindi siya kumilos kaya ako na mismo ang tumayo para kunin ang tubig mula sa mesa. Tinignan niya muna ang baso bago ito tinanggap para tutukan ulit.
I sighed, and went behind her again to continue my job; comforting her.
I can't believe I'm actually soothing this lady. Kung hindi lang siguro kay kuya ay kanina ko pa pinalayas ang babeng to sa kwarto ko. In fact, hindi ko sana siya pinapasok dito, baka mahawa ako sa germs niya.
"Just so you know," she said between her sobs after she sip from the glass. "I won't be apologizing to you, or to Kate or to Jazzella, or to anyone."
I rolled my eyes, not even sure of what I should answer. "Yeah, yeah. Make yourself happy." Wala na akong maggawa kung sadyang matigas talaga ang ulo niya. It's not like I'm asking for it though.
We fell into silence again. Kalmado na siya ngayon pero humihumikbi pa rin. She must be reflecting father's words. Alam kong tagos na tagos sa dibdib ang sinabi niya, especially galing ito sa ama ng lalaking gusto mo. Ano nga ba ang kaya niyang gawin para mapasaya ang kuya ko? Everyone knows kuya shows a little interest to her. Hindi ko alam kung narealize ba yun ni Suzy o hindi, pero minsan niya lang ito pinagbigyan pansin. Akala ko noon na napilitan lang si kuya na samahan si Suzy. Turns out, he really is forced.
"Why?" I asked silently, placing a strand of her bangs behind her ear. "Why do you have to hurt people?"
Hindi ko alam kung narinig niya ba ang tanong ko, hindi kasi siya sumagot. Nanatili lang sa unahan ang titig niya. "Sadista ka ba? Does it entertain you seeing others suffer? Hindi ko alam kung makakaya kong patawarin ka Suzy, pagkatapos ng lahat. Of course heavy wounds tend to leave scars. Mine happens to be a lot."
I stopped on my tracks when I noticed her shoulders shaking up and down. She's crying again. I hope she realizes her mistakes; it can free her from her faults. Hindi ko to ginagawa para tulungan siya, gusto ko lang siyang gisingin sa realidad na hindi niya pag-aari ang buhay ng isang tao. Wala siyang karapatang bigyan ng pagdurusa ang mga mahina.
"Just because you act strong doesn't mean you are. You're just afraid of your own weakness and insecurity." I sermon, letting her tears fall down to her legs as she suffer from my words. She may have hurt me before, so I'll pay her back with the painful truth. Mas masakit to kumpara sa mga sampal niya noon. "Takot kang mabully kaya ka nang-aapi ng iba. Takot kang pagtawanan, takot kang tapakan ng iba, at takot kang pagtalikuran. Marami kang kinatatakutan kaya sa iba mo inilalabas ang lahat ng sama ng loob mo."
I'm actually astonished by my words. Maybe I'm not that bad after all. It may sound excruciating to her, but it's actually words of wisdom, or so I thought.
"Wag kang magreyna-reynahan sa eskwelahan. Matagal ka na naming inilibing sa sarili mong hukay kaya wala ka nang karapatang pagdur—" I was cut when she waved her hand and stood to face me angrily.
"Enough with the lectures! Hindi naman kita pinapakinggan." She glared at me before she stomped her way to that door before closing it with a bang.
Hindi niya daw pinapakinggan pero umiiyak dahil sa sinabi ko. Ano naman yun?
--
Nakasandal si Hanz sa kotse niya habang naka-krus ang dalawang braso. Mataman niya akong tinignan habang nasa langit ang tingin ko.
"What's wrong?" he asked with a frown. Hindi ako sumagot dahil hindi ko alam kung ano nga ba ang problema. Saan ba ako magsisimula? My life is a complete mess, with everyone around me is full of chaos. "Is it because of Neil or Suzy?"
I sighed, surrendering my thoughts to him as I peeked at his confused eyes. "Both?" I replied with a small smile.
Mas lalong kumunot ang noo niya dahil sa sagot ko. Maging ako ay nalilito rin sa sinabi ko. Bakit ko nga ba naman poproblemahin ang love life ng iba?
"Bakit? May nangyari ba?" he asked.
"Since when did we bother each other's problems?" I chuckled and sighed. "My mom is upset, daddy is disappointed, kuya is pressured, and Suzy is suffering." I shrugged. "Ano nga ba ang nangyari?"
Huminga na naman ako ng malalim bago tumingala ulit sa langit. How should I fix this problem? Not that it's mine, gusto ko lang naman silang tulungan para wala nang problema sa buhay. Nakakasawa na kasing marami kang iniisip sa gabi bago matulog.
"Kuya told me everything earlier." I admitted and lowered my head to meet his eyes. "Sinabi niyang hindi naman talaga sila ni Suzy at napilitan lang siya sa relasyon para pigilan siya sa kahabalang niya."
His face remained calm, as if he wasn't shock at the news. He smiled to me tenderly and reached for my wrist. "I know," he exhaled. "I already gave Jazz a hint. Ayaw niya kasing malaman niyong tatlo ang tungkol doon dahil takot siyang mahusgahan, lalo na't hindi pa rin siya naka-move on kay Jazzella."
I frowned by his sudden assertion. "Alam mong may namamagitan sa kanila noon?" I asked, surprised.
"You know Neil when he gets drunk, kung anu-ano lang ang lumalabas sa bibig niya, hindi nag-iisip." He nodded and leaned closer to whisper playfully. "I know everything."
My eyebrows rose. "Everything?"
"Alam kong naiinis siya kay Mico dahil sa kadidikit niya kay Jazz. Alam ko ring hindi niya pinapansin si Jeff dahil nakita niyang hinalikan ito ni Jazz. At alam ko ang side niya nung nakipagbreak si Jazz sa kanya. Everything is about that girl, Kelliah." He spoke slowly, like a boss.
Hindi binanggit ni Jazz ang tungkol sa breakup nila ni kuya, at hindi rin kami nag-abalang magtanong kasi alam kong ayaw pa niyang umamin. Kung gusto niya talagang sabihin sa amin edi kaagad siyang magsasalita, hindi na namin siya kailangan pang tanungin. Hindi namin alam ang pangalan ng dati niyang kaibigan, o kung ano nga ba talaga eksaktong eksena. Ang sinabi niya lang sa amin ay nakita niyang naghahalikan ang dalawa.
"Joke, sinabi ni Ryce sa akin." Aniya na para bang wala lang. Pero hindi ko siya pinansin at nanatiling nag-isip.
"Wait," I trailed off when I noticed something from what he said. "Hinalikan niya sa Jeff? Si Jeff as in si Jepherson Maravilla? Yung ka-club natin?"
He frowned. "Sino pa nga bang ibang Jeff na gwapo para halikan ng kaibigan mo?"
Napanganga ako. That's impossible. Why would she kiss him though? She knows Mayka likes him. Hindi niya rin sinabi to sa amin. Ang dami na niyang sekretong tinatago mula sa amin. Baka nililigawan na pala siya ni Mico pero hindi lang namin alam ah. "Kailan siya hinalikan?"
"Nung nagbar kayo after ng welcome party." He responded simply.
"That little sht." I hissed to myself. Hindi niya nga talaga nabanggit ang tungkol doon. Lagot talaga siya kapag magkita kami. "Eh ano naman yung side niya na sinasabi mo?"
"That," he pointed me to my face kaya nainis ako at kaagad na winakli ang kamay niya. "Can only be answered if you tell me her side." Umirap ako sa kawalan. Lumalaki na ang ulo ng ugok na to dahil lang sa lumalamang siya ngayong gabi.
"Hindi niya kinuwento sa amin kaya wala akong alam." I anwered quickly and looked away para hindi makita ang mayabang niyang ngisi.
His brows formed a crease. "Bakit hindi niyo tinanong?" he asked suspiciously. Again, I sighed and bowed my head frustratingly.
"Eh kasi po nirerespeto namin siya. Hinihintay ko lang naman siya kung kalian siya handang magshare sa amin." I answered, quietly but irritatingly. "Now can you please fill me up with details? I'm rather clueless."
"That is quite unacceptable, actually." Kumunot ang noo ko nang biglang nag-iba ang tono niya. He's acting like a gentleman, isn't he? "I would not sell my knowledge or particulars, for a man should keep it a secret, I believe."
Pinanliitan ko siya ng mata, and when I saw his perky grin, I decided to play along. "Pardon me, Mr. Varquez, but I'm fairly asking for your comprehension. It does not take but few figures." I answered, bending slightly like a true maiden.
He laughed at my playfulness. "Much to my dismay, young lady, but I've already said my word to my friend. It will do me no good to share secrets, unless you will be sharing yours."
"I was hoping you would say that." I snorted. "Everything will be delivered to you perfectly once the information will be revealed to me. I would be awfully grateful if you could give me tiny data—"
Hindi ko natuloy ang sasabihin ko nang bumwelo na naman siya.
"I fear you will be naught tonight, Kelliah, for I shall not disclose anything..." he trailed and smirked lopsidedly. I was caught in surprise when he suddenly snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me close to him. I blushed immediately when I noticed how our faces are inches apart. "If not for a small peck."
He wriggled his brows mischievously kaya tinulak ko siya kaagad. "I-Ikaw!" I exclaimed timidly, hiding my embarrass reaction. "You're doing this on purpose, ain't you? Para maka-score ka sa akin. Pwes, wala kang makukuha dahil sa kakulitan mo."
He laughed heartily, clutching his stomach while enduring the pain from laughing boisterously. "Ikaw ang bahala. Wala namang mawawala sa akin."
"Bwisit." I grunted, placing both my hands on my hips and watch him having the time of his life.
--
Kate's Point Of View
Nagbabasa ako ng libro habang naglalakad nang biglang may sumabay sa akin. Tumingala ako at nakita ko si Ryce na nakangiti. I bet he's in a good mood, beaming at me this early in the morning.
"Hi." He greeted.
I gave him a small smile before closing my book. "Good morning."
We're walking side by side nang dumaan kami sa lobby. Sa amin nakatuon ang atensyon ng mga nadaanan naming estudyante pero tahimik lang sila. After months of staying here in Xaris, nasanay na akong pinagtitinginan tuwing makikita nila ako. At first it was awkward. But after getting used to it, it's troublesome. Hindi ako makakakilos ng maayos dahil sa dami ng mga matang nanonood sa akin. Hindi naman ako artista na kailangan pa nilang piktyuran, hindi rin ako yelo na natutunaw kapag tumititig sila. It's worrying me.
"So, how was Macky?" tanong ng kasabay ko. Ngumiwi ako nang maalala kong hindi pa pala ako bumili ng panibagong phone. Curse that dark hunk; he should buy me one instead.
"Syempre nagulat siya. Hindi ko binanggit kung saan galing ang picture, pero mukhang napilit ko naman siya." Nagthumbs up ako at ngumiti. Natawa rin siya sa kakulitan ko. "It's effective."
Maaga pa kaya nagdesisyon kaming tumambay muna sa mini garden. Umupo kaming dalawa sa bakanteng bench malapit sa pond. "Sabi ko sayo mabisa yun eh." Pagyayabang niya habang humarap sa akin at pinatong ang siko sa sandalan, reminds me of the moment we first met. Ganito rin yung eksena sa bar kung saan una kaming nagkita.
I chuckled. "Bigyan mo ulit ako ng pwedeng pangblackmail kung may mang-iistorbo na naman sa akin ha?"
He snorted jokingly and puckered his handsome face. "That is not really a good idea." He said. "Umaabuso ka na kasi."
"Ay, may bayad ganun?" reklamo ko. "Mahal ba ang talent fee ng mga blackmailers?"
He shrugged his shoulders while he looked elsewhere. "Depende kung sino ang bibili." He joked.
"Speaking of which," I said. "Bakit ka nagtatago ng mga sekreto? Bakit bina-blackmail mo sila?"
"First question, kasi ginagamit ko lang ang ultimate weapon ko kapag malapit na akong mag-alas. It's fun controlling people. For the second one, kasi ayaw ko sa kanila." He answered bluntly without much concern.
"Ang arte pala nito." I mumbled and looked at him. "May sekreto ka bang alam sa akin?" tanong ko, nagbabasakaling meron nga.
Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay at maigi akong tinignan sa mata. He smiled and leaned his head on his hand. "Who said I don't like you?"
I stopped not because of what he said, but because of his gaze. His stare has something in it. Hindi ko mabasa pero alam kong may gusto siyang ipahiwatig.
"Ryce!" Lumingon kaming dalawa sa papalapit ng lalaki habang may malaking ngiti sa mukha. "Kate!"
Tumabi sa akin si Al nang makarating siya sa pwesto namin. "Good morning sa inyo."
Ngumiti pabalik si Ryce sa kanya habang nanatili lang ang tingin ko sa mukha niya. Hindi kami close pero wala naman akong problema sa kanya. He's easy going and positive thinker. Masaya siyang kasama pero hindi lang talaga kami masyadong nag-uusap.
Actually, everyone in the club except Grethel, Suzy, Markhel, and Jeff are my friends. Si Stacey sadyang mailap talaga sa lahat, hindi ko alam kung bakit. Dahil ba sa nangyari kay Kelly at dun sa kaibigan niya?
Bumaling siya sa akin. "Kate, sabi nga pala ni Mico hindi ka daw niya susunduin mamaya. May practice pa kasi sila para sa finals ng league bukas." He informed. Kaya pala maaga siyang umalis kanina.
Finals na ng high school district league at maglalaro ang Underdogs para sa championship. Last year ay nanalo sila kaya 10 years na silang undefeated. I hope this year mananalo ulit sila.
Naalala ko na naman yung panahon na baliw na baliw ako kay Jeff. Those were the good times. I sighed, reminiscing the past. I'm still hoping, hoping na bigyan niya ako ng pansin. Nagbabasakali pa rin ako na pwede na dahil nagbago na ako. Pero ngayong iniiwasan niya ako, sa tingin ko ay malabo nang mangyari yun.
"Kate?" tawag ni Ryce. Nagulat ako nang marahan niyang tinapik ang pisngi ko. "Natulala ka."
"H-Ha? Ganun ba?" I blurted and quickly averted my eyes off him. His face is so close. Hindi ba siya nako-concious? Lumingon ako sa isa ko pang katabi para iwasan ang mapanuring tingin ni Ryce. "Sige Al, salamat."
"By the way, sabi ni teacher Kazzi magtitipon daw tayo mamaya. Gagawa daw tayo ng props—"
"Al!" Natigil sa pagsasalita si Al nang biglang may tumawag sa kanya. Bumaling kaming tatlo sa hallway kung saan galing ang boses.
"Oh? Bakit?" he said, turning his body so he can get a better view of the redhead girl.
"Kyra." Ryce mumbled as he stared at the girl's figure. Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay nang magtama ang tingin namin. Pinasadahan niya ako ng tingin at tinignan si Al Joshua.
"Come, may sasabihin ako." she smiled. Tumayo si Al at nagpaalam na babalik lang daw siya, kakausapin niya lang daw ito sandali. Hindi ko alam na close pala sila.
"Kasali ba siya sa barkada niyo nila Macky?" I asked Ryce as his eyes examined the two talking. His lips are in thin line as his brows rose suspiciously.
"No," he answered without looking at me. "But he is Melanie's cousin so they must've known each other."
"Melanie?" I asked again, not sure if I've heard the name before.
"The other girl from the bar." He replied simply, diverting his eyes elsewhere and sat properly. Melanie siguro ang pangalan nung isang babae sa bar nung gabing nagkakilala kami ni Jayzee at Ryce.
Tumingin ulit ako sa gawi ng dalawang taong nag-uusap nang nagtama ang tingin namin ni Kyra. Her face soured as we locked gazes and eventually rolled her eyes, pretending to be interested at her friend's cousin's story.
"Mainit yata ang dugo niya sa akin." I uttered, looking at Ryce for confirmation. "Wala naman akong ginawa sa kanya."
He smirked and while his eyes are still on the grass in front of us. "Alam mo ba kung bakit?"
"Bakit?" So alam niya nga? This guy is really mysterious. It's like he knows everything kaya medyo nakakakilabot. Dapat ba akong mag-ingat sa kanya?
He turned to me with a knowing smile. "Because she dumped Macky for Jayzee."
I fell silent, processing every word he said. She was Macky's girlfriend? At iniwan niya ito para sa barkada niya. Eh bakit kahapon mukhang okay naman sila? Mukhang walang nangyari sa pagitan nila.
I swallowed the lump on my throat, hesitating if I should hear the rest. "Tapos?"
Binigyan niya muna ako ng tingin na parang nanunuri. It's like he's having second thoughts of telling me the whole story. But I gave him a determined look and smiled. Wala siyang nagawa kundi ang bumuntong hininga.
"It's not like they have romance between them. They were just filling each other's lust and greed. Nung pinakilala ni Macky si Kyra sa amin, doon siya nagsimulang naghabol kay Jayzee. Macky knew, that's why iritado siya kay Jayzee. Pero nung nireto ni Kyra ang kaibigan niyang si Melanie ay nagkasundo ang dalawa. Kaya nung naghiwalay sila, there were no hard feelings."
Tumango ako na wala sa sarili. Flirtations are so open these days. To think they're only high school students. "Kaya pala naiinis siya sa akin, kasi ako ang girlfriend ng gusto niya." I said, glancing at her direction. "Anong nangyari kay Jayzee?"
He shrugged and also peeked at the two laughing happily. "One of the reason why he left the gang. Pinag-iinitan na kasi siya ni Macky kaya hindi na siya nakapagtimpi. Hindi ko alam kung may gusto pa ba si Kyra sa boyfriend mo, pero alam kong hindi niya papatulan ang babaeng yan."
I nodded again. I don't know if it's just me, but I rather felt nothing by the news. Parang okay lang sa akin ang mga nalaman ko. Girlfriends should be jealous if they knew someone is trying to seduce their man, right? Usually, girls go war freak and throw tantrums if ever they meet the mistress. Why am I calm? Should I just let it go?
I was startled nang lumingon si Kyra sa amin. Ngumiti siya kay Ryce at hindi ako pinansin. "Ryce!" she called.
"Oh?" he answered quietly at the enthusiastic woman.
"Pwede ba kitang makausap?" she asked, glancing at me as if telling him I'm a disturbance. Al Joshua remained standing beside her, a faint of uneasiness in his eyes.
I heard him sighed as a small smile appeared on his lips when he turned to me. "Babalik lang ako." Paalam niya.
"Oh sige." I smiled. Tumango siya at naglakad papunta sa direksyon ng dalawa.
Nang makarating sa kanila ay kaagad hinawakan ni Kyra ang braso niya at hinigit ito. "I heard may schedule na daw kayo para sa mga gig niyo next month? Patingin."
Nagulat si Ryce sa ginawa niya. "Ah, eh—Nandoon kay Aeril ang sche—" He said as he tried to let her hands go.
"Then let's go!" she exclaimed, pulling him by her arm. Ryce frowned.
"Saan?"
"Kay Aeril. Saan pa nga ba?" she answered matter-of-factly.
"Teka lang," tawag ni Al nang hinila din siya ni Kyra. "Magpapaalam muna kami kay Ka—"
"Oh, curses. Magkikita naman kayo mamaya kaya what the use?" she said, pulling them by their elbow.
Wala na silang naggawa kundi ang sumunod. They both gave me an apologetic look before disappearing at the corner.
Bumuntong hininga na lang ako. Wala akong lakas para makipagtalo. May exam pa mamaya kaya iyon na lang ang aatupagin ko. Makakaganti rin ako sa babaeng yun. Sa tamang panahon.