01/25/17
Dear Reader,
I woke up crying in my sleep. Ang sama kasi ng panaginip ko. Ispin niyo na lang kunware may mahalagang tao sa buhay mo, tas mapapaginipan mo ang pagkamatay niya.
Di ka ba maiiyak?
Bestfriend ko yun eh! Cousin ko pa tas parang magkapatid na turingan namin sa isa't isa.
Sa panaginip ko, ewan ko kung bakit, pero na coma daw siya. The next day, she died. Para talaga ako'ng nabuhusan nang malamig ma tubig nang malaman ko yun. Parang kelan lang eh nagkausap pa kami tas yun na ang susunod na mangyayari? I could see everyone crying. Her college friends did everything to extend their condolences and I even saw her barkada trying to comfort me when I went to school the following day. Parang totoo talaga kaya pati ako naiyak. Kakamatay nga lang nung isa ko pang pinsan last December tas mawawalan na naman ako ng isa pa? I thought in my dream. I did not even notice the real tears flowing on my cheek until I woke up. I was so happy it was just a dream and prayed for everyone's safety.
I probably forgot to pray last night due to extreme exhaustion. Or maybe I did but not deep or sincere enough. Or maybe this is because of my obsession with my own death. I have always wondered how I would die and when. But don't get me wrong! I am not freaking suicidal. I just want to prepare myself for death.
Not yours,
Krizia