It was another test and then finishing the lab. Glancing around, I finally looked at the front where Sergei had his hands cupped in front of his mouth and those blues were on me. The heat burned my cheeks and I quickly went back to my test. I had a whole page yet to do and I was one of the few who weren't done yet.
The vibration in my pocket made me jump a little. Again. Then again. And once more. There was no way I could answer it, not with still going through the test. Hurrying through the rest of the of the paper, I finished giving some lame answers, but I had gotten it done. Taking it up to Sergei, my heart leaped as I handed it over. His fingers brushed against mine sending tingles straight through my spine and leaving a trail of heat behind.
Going out to the hall, I opened the first message. It was my dad with some photos of the horses he was looking at. With winter coming up, we wouldn't do as much training, but we would be able to get them ready for the spring. If we had an easy winter without much snow, then I could do more, but I didn't want to take on too much until I graduated. This studying and working was wearing me down already, but I could take on one horse until graduation. I picked out a few of them that I thought looked good and sent the message back. Another text came through displaying Sergei's name on the screen.
Sergei: I cannot wait until we go for the ride.
Biting my lip, I tried to pull back the smile he put on my face, but it was near impossible. When that man looked at me, and he has been all class, I pooled into a melted mess which took my mind with it.
Me: I will take you around and show you the land. There are a lot of beautiful places on our place.
Sergei: I would like that seeing as my horse is now living there.
Me: John and Tobey shouldn't be around too much anyway. With the low count there, chores get done fast.
Sergei: I will have to start looking for a friend for my horse so he does not get lonely.
Me: I will keep my eye open for a good friend for Cobalt.
Slipping my phone into my pocket, I went back in and slithered into my chair careful not to disrupt the other students. Feeling the burning from his sapphires, I forced my heart back down into my chest and the heat sank into my cheeks. Just knowing he was looking my direction increased the heat in the room and the pulsation in my core was growing to the point where I had to squeeze my thighs together to hopefully get it to cool down.
Sergei: Are you serious on this test? You know nothing.
Me: I was distracted. I am sorry.
Oh no. I just sent that? How embarrassing. The chuckle from the front of the room turned my stomach. His eyes wouldn't even come up as he sat his phone on the table and reached for the papers, his head shaking while those dark blue eyes scanned over the test.
Sergei: Your office is a mess. I understand the distraction. You do not study. You do not listen in class. You do not read the text.
Me: I can't fail this class! I need this!
Failing was not an option, and I tried reading the textbook, but I fell asleep. I had other things to do beside read a book for a class that was just taken to get one more science credit. That was it. But to fail it, it would bring down my GPA and I couldn't have that happen. And if I didn't have that credit, I wouldn't be able to graduate in May.
Reaching for his phone, he shook his head as his eyes tightened on the test in front of him. Taking his time going through the answers, he let out a loud hiss straightening up with his jaw throbbing from the pressure of his teeth being pressed together.
Sergei: What is the distraction?
Me: I will fix it. I promise. I don't want you to have failing students.
Sitting back, I slipped my phone into my pocket and went for the box of minerals we were working on. I had to finish this lab today or I would be behind for the next one. And I was already one lab behind.
Getting close to Sergei like this was another issue. He was just a good guy and I was the one jumping in to a fantasy of being something more to him. How could he even like a woman like me, one who smelled of work all day and played with horses instead of chasing men? Not to count, if there was any kind of friendship that would develop, my grade would fake considering that I was his friend and he would feel as if he had to bend my scores. And he just really seemed like the type of man who would skew my test scores just so I didn't fail, and that was not what I wanted at all.
Sergei: I cannot help you to get the grade up. There will be students who fail. I do not want to see YOU fail.
Me: Do you worry about the others like this?
His jaw tightened as he raked his hand through his black hair before marking up the test full of red pen. Damn if he didn't look absolutely gorgeous doing that. The stress was thickening around his eyes and a few wrinkles were sneaking in the corners of his eyes, but that man... just his smile, I was a moth who was drawn right to the flame.
He started typing on his phone, but gritted his teeth erasing it. Then, he typed again only to erase that also. Finally, a text had come through.
Sergei: The others are not of my concern. YOU take care of my horse. I spent money on the animal.
I laughed feeling the eyes boring into me. He wasn't happy about it. Heat burned my face as I tipped my head and typed back keeping my phone under the table as the warning signs began to flash in my mind. I needed to stop before this got out of hand.
He was my teacher, my Geology teacher and there would be no way I would ever want to get him in trouble. I wasn't one who would accept a better grade without proof. And if I ended up with a better grade because I was flirting with him, then I was no better than my sister. I wasn't my sister.
Me: I would always take care of your horse, no matter what. He has my heart.
Sergei: And no one else has your heart?
I bit my lip reading his message again. My heart fluttered uncontrollably in my chest. Yesterday, he asked me if I was dating Tobey, but when he did, it was almost as if he were growling under his breath. Why, though? Tobey was a good guy and a hard worker.
I typed out my message, erased what I wrote. I couldn't tell him that he was my distraction. He was the reason why I hadn't listened to a word he's said in the past few classes. After yesterday, I couldn't stop thinking about him. How he picked me up and swung me around, held me against him, and those tender blues looking at me. Our class would be over with in a little over a month and then what? Nothing. I wouldn't see him again.
Well, his horse was living at the house now so I would see him actually. As my sister had always told me, never just let something you want go. If you do, then you deserve to be without it. But was that just the type of guy he was or was this for real? Did he really feel something for me?
Me: No. I just have a distraction right now and that is it.
Hitting the send button, I slipped my phone back into my pocket and tucked my hair behind my ear. Leaning forward, I read the next question before I pulled the mineral out of its slot. I could feel his eyes on me knowing he read my text. And nothing came. But when I glanced up to see if he was upset about my comment, he was typing on his phone, though nothing came through to mine. Tears bit my eyes as I glanced over at Jason who was hunched over his box of minerals. "Are you understanding this?"
"A little." Smiling, he scooted his chair closer to me. "I will work on it with you."
"Thank you." Swallowing my tears, they caught in my throat only to block it with a huge lump of shame. Maybe he was just being friendly and I misread his cues. But the heat blasting through the air from the front of the room and seeped straight into my skin. What did Sergei expected me to do? Lie to him? I wasn't a liar. I hated liars. I hated them because I've seen my sister lie to get her way a few times.
My pocket vibrated, but I didn't want to pull my phone out. I knew what the message would say. He would kindly let me know he wasn't interested in me that way and maybe he shouldn't talk to me anymore. But I needed to answer it.
Sergei: I can tell. You have the distraction and I am unable to do anything about it because it is me. Is it not?
Biting my lip hard, I glanced at Jason's quizzical expression seeing that I didn't listen to anything he just said. "My dad had a question about some horses. I'm sorry."
Nodding, his attention went back to the paperwork and I quickly changed Sergei's name in my contact list. I couldn't have the guy next to me see I was texting my teacher. Then again, after this, he wouldn't talk to me for sure. I was not the one who was good with these men feelings, but my sister would know in a heartbeat if he would walk away or if he would confront the crush. And I was not a good liar. I always gave myself up somehow.
Me: I can't lie. It is.
Letting out my breath, I put my phone away and went back to listen to Jason explain the next question. Glancing up, I watched Sergei tuck his head into his hands digging his fingers into his hair. I really stepped over the lines there. I thought maybe had something for me too, but I guess I was wrong and he was trying to come up with a way to get out of the ride tomorrow and move his horse somewhere else. But what if he regretted buying Cobalt now? What if he decided to sell the horse because of how I overstepped the boundaries?
As Jason talked about the errors I made on my lab, he explained them to me telling me why I was wrong. He was nice, but nothing that caught me like my teacher had. Why couldn't I have just stayed back and not even stepped foot into this classroom? At least, if Professor Johnston had been teaching, I would be paying more attention and my failing wouldn't have come from an attraction that I shouldn't have been having in the first place.
When class was finished, I gathered my books and headed out to my truck noticing Sergei left already. He sped out of there now because of me. I caused that. Taking my phone out, I swallowed hard.
Me: I didn't mean to upset you. I just figured I would tell you, but it's really nothing and you don't have to worry.
Tossing my bag into the passenger seat, I sucked in a deep breath. I had to put this away and go on as if I was just flirting to get a better grade. I could do that. That was what my sister did all through high school. Just as I walked around and slid in behind the wheel, my pocket vibrated pulling the ground out from under me. A sharp pain hit my chest as I pulled my phone out and looked at the screen.
Sergei: Please, go to my place.
Biting my lip, I dropped my phone into my pocket letting the tears swell in my eyes. Now, he would tell me he would have to move his horse because of my crush on him. It was just a stupid crush. I enjoyed talking with him. He made me feel... not like a twin, but like I was my own person. It was something I rarely got for the most part. It was always the comparison of my sister and me.
Getting into my truck, I drove over to his place parking beside his car. The walk to the front door shoved my heart deeper and deeper in my chest. I could've ignored the message and gone home where I should be. I could have not said anything to him. But I did and now I had to clean up my mess.
I knocked, but he didn't come to the door. I knocked again, but as I glanced around, my heart dropped hard fizzing in the pool of acid in my stomach. He wasn't coming. He wasn't going to answer.
Turning the handle, it flipped easily and the door opened. Letting myself in, I closed it behind me and I went to the inside door. With the doors farther apart, maybe he didn't hear me knocking. He did tell me to come to his place. And I was there at his place like a fool waiting to have my heart shattered by a man I really didn't know.
Knocking on that door, I waited. Each second felt like a lifetime. I couldn't just walk into someone's house. It wasn't me. I even knocked on my sister's door, but as for Sergei's, I wasn't just going to walk in.
Finally, it opened and his phone was pressed to his ear. "No. I do not want to. Done. No more." Hanging up, the anger dropped from his face and he stepped to the side allowing me to come in. "Where is your truck?"
"I parked next to you." Holding my hands in front of me, I tried to hold back the nerves, but I could feel them crawling around and making me tremble. I didn't want to hear him tell me he was taking Cobalt away or selling him off. And, I sure in the heck, didn't want to hear him tell me I was a nice girl, but I would never be anything more than just a student. For once, I wanted to actually matter. And for the time I sat with him while he was mourning the death of his father, I did.
"I will move it to the garage. Stay. Sit on the couch. I will be right back." And out the door he went.
Garage? I hadn't seen a garage, but then again, this place was an old warehouse and I imagined he had one built in. Doing as he said, I slipped my boots off before I walked in placing them on the rug and sat on the couch waiting for him.
When he came back in, he locked a few locks on the door and let out a loud breath. Raking his hand through his hair, his eyes staying on the floor as his jaw tightened a little. "I do not know what to say."
"I just..." Standing up, my breath hitch in my throat as he held up a hand to me, to stop me. "I'm sorry."
"No, you must not say anything." Stepping backward, he moved around the couch and the glass table and went to the couch on the other side of the room.
"Please, Sergei. Let me-" The hot water built up in my eyes as stood on my shaking legs wanting to run to the door and go as far away as possible. If there was a rock large enough for me to crawl under, I would want to just stay there for good. The humiliation was crawling up my neck and urging the heat to pool in my cheeks.
"No. I cannot..." his jaw tightened as he ran a hand over his face, his eyes going around the room until they came around meeting mine. "I do not want my heart broken again."
"I would never break your heart!" I stepped back one step to feel the coffee table behind my knees. Glancing at the door, the thought to run passed through my mind. Running should have been what I did and being alone in his house again only urged some unknown feelings that were stirring in my core.
"It is already broken into little pieces. And, I do not want those pieces to be broken more." His sad blue eyes drifted up to me as he released his breath slowly. Resting his hands on his lean hips, those eyes found mine again insisting the throb down in my womanly area started to pulsate. "You have a mess in that office. That should have been enough to tell me to walk away."
"What does my office have to do with it?" The tightening in my stomach began to make me sick. It was the only place that was a mess and I just didn't have the time to clean it. Well, that wasn't true. I just didn't want to clean it. I wasn't the office kind of person. I had other things on my mind and my office wasn't there. I wasn't there.
"Everything." He pointed to the bags sitting by the door. Pressing his lips tight together, he whispered something that I didn't catch, but it was a mumble of a mess of letters that molded together.
"Maybe I should go-" Just as I stepped toward the door, his arm shot out wrapping around my waist pulling me tight to him, his large and strong hand spread out on the small of my back pressing me into him even more.
"I should have not asked you here." His eyes fell to my lips making my heart beat harder and the butterflies dance eagerly in my belly. My whole body screamed for him to kiss me, but my mind said no. The warnings were flashing, but nothing in my body wanted to listen to them. "If you were not a student... If I was not a teacher... I can wait. I will wait until you graduate, but I do not know if I should."
"What does my graduation have to do with it?" The heat was pulsating between my legs. The desire wanted those lips of his on mine, to see if that little shade of scruff would be prickly against my skin or soft and gentle like he was with his hands when he brushed a tear from my cheek.
"That is when I can... be with you." His hands spread across my back pulling me closer to him. The heat pressed deep into my belly, into the pool of lava, into an urge where the pulsation turned into an angry mob demanding what it wanted. "I do have a distraction, too, in class. You."
My heart sank looking at his lips again. The kiss was not going to happen. All he wanted to do was tell me this would never work, but there I was, locked in his arms, tight against his chest, and his hard, solid body pressed tight to mine, crushing my breasts against the steel of him. His hands sent fires raging through my body, heating every inch of me that I didn't know could or should happen. One little tick or movement from his fingertips and the fires spread even more, taking up more ground, intensifying the heat that was now shifting to all my appendages, my stomach, my heart, and my head.
"I cannot get you out of my mind. I contemplate quitting every day so I can be with you, but my heart has not healed. Maybe soon." His lips brushed my forehead igniting the flames to a scorching degree.
"What if I drop out of the class?" I managed to squeak out with my body gnawing at my insides for more of his touch. My heart was hammering on my lungs making it difficult to breathe, but maybe if he just kiss me just once, this one time, a little brush of the lips...
"No, you will not do that. You must finish. I will not ruin your college. This is why I cannot see you." His words trailed into the air when his eyes rested on my lips. His chest pressed harder into mine, but his hand slipped down to my hip lessening the hold he had on me, allowing this vacancy to fill in the slim space between us.
"Why?" Shifting my eyes over him, I took in the small scar on his left brow, the little round chicken pock scar just under his left eye, and the small jagged scar in the corner of his mouth. How had I not seen them earlier? Brushing my fingers over the one at his brow, my heart picked up speed increasing my breathing with it. I needed him to just kiss me. I needed him to just put this fire out he caused in me.
"We cannot be friends." Lowering his hand, he sat the paper on the back of the couch. Taking a chance and breaking the eye contact, I saw the sale receipt that my father had given to Sergei's brother. He was giving back the horse. My breath caught in my throat as I looked back into those deep, sultry sapphire eyes. "I cannot be your friend."
"Why not? We can talk. I am not going to hold it against you when I fail your class."
Those eyes drifted down to my lips and his hands pressed into my hips, guiding me to feel the strength and desire that was in him as well, a desire I was creating. Heat slammed down into my core creating a savage beast that needed to be filled with him. "I want to show you I am a good man. In time, my heart will be healed and you will be free of school where there will be no problems being together."
"You are a good man already! You say that you aren't, but you are." Pressing into the hardness he held, the desire screamed and begged for him to do something. The twitch was turning into a full fledge jerk of sexual need. My hunger for him shifted from something that could be filled with a simple kiss, now was a starvation that I was desperate to fulfill.
"You do like me then." His voice cracked a little and his hands wrapped around my hips drawing me closer to him.
"Of course I do." Heat packed into my cheeks as I tried to free myself from his hold, but he wasn't letting me. Giving up the fight, I cupped his cheek in my hand feeling the stubble and how wonderful he felt under my skin. Before he moved, I pressed my lips to his tasting the hint of something sweet on them. The hunger hit me more than I thought it could. Just a simple kiss wasn't going to suffice tonight. I needed more, needed his breath to survive, but he pulled away.
"You should have not started something I will have to finish." His hands wrapped around my back pressing me tight to him, feeling every waking inch of him. His mouth covered mine pulling the breath from my lungs. I never thought a kiss could have so much effect on a person as this was having on me. I craved him. I wanted more of him. I needed him to put it out before I lost my mind.
The hold broke and I tried to get in a breath of needed air, but he returned, his mouth taking control and feeding off my hunger, matching the same strength. Finally, his mouth broke contact and moved down my neck, the soft moans of pleasure emerged uncontrollably, and they just urged him to continue with a little more animalistic ventures.
Before I knew it, his hands released their hold from my waist and his fingers tugged at the bottom of my shirt as if it were on fire and my only hopes of survival were for him to peel it off me.
My heart was increasing with speed and the heat was unbearable. Less clothes could stop the smoldering need and my body was craving him even worse. But was this something I should stop? Should I tell him?
The connection between us was broken as he tugged the shirt over my head and before I knew it, I was off my feet, my legs automatically wrapping around his lean waist, and the urge to get even closer was a necessity for life.
When my bare back pressed against the metal wall of the elevator, he frantically reached for something, which ended up closing the brass doors. This was going to happen, wasn't it? This was how it was all going to happen. And I needed to stop it and tell him the truth. I needed to let him know that I've never been with a man before.