Greenwood T.A. 2048
With the coming of true winter, the shorter days, and numerous days of endless snow, I found myself having tea with Rüdhon in his quarters. The small living space that he had occupied for years, and years, remained the same. Except for one addition. The rocking chair my father had made for mother, was now sat in one corner. Rüdhon had saved it after my father's death, one of the few things he hadn't been able to let go off. He had been embarrassed at first when I noticed it, but I had only enjoyed the sight of it again. So many memories associated with it.
But halfway through my cup of the delectable flowered-green brew, we were interrupted. We both looked up, locked eyes before turning to the door. Rüdhon had for once changed out of his guard uniform. Not that the blue tunic didn't look handsome on him.
More soft knocks. Rüdhon lowered his cup as Voronwë entered, looking entirely weary. "Forgive my intrusion—" Rüdhon left his seat immediately to go to him. Voronwë trailed off when noticing me. He seemed surprised that I was there and didn't want to speak at first. Then he sighed, looked between us, and then spoke quietly. "The King request your presence, both of you, and—" Voronwë trailed off, raked a hand through his short hair, contemplating whether to say the next words or not. "He's in a foul mood."
Rüdhon groaned. He had already been victim to Thranduil's foul mood this morning when he returned from his night patrol. He rubbed his eyes and wrapped his other arm around his waist. "Thank you, Voronwë." Rüdhon dismissed Voronwë who lowered his head, even extended the gesture to me before he retreated.
The defeated expression on Rüdhon's face was one I shared as I lent heavily against the chair again. Neither of us wanted to face Thranduil. It had been the first subject of our conversation when I sat down for tea. With a determined nod, I left my chair. Rüdhon arched a brow at me as I corrected on my clothes, softening some of the folds on my gown. I didn't have guard duty today, therefore I had opted for a dress for once.
Rüdhon needed a bigger nudge. He had reluctantly remained by the door when I opened it. "Better face it now. Postponing it will not do neither of us any good." I wrapped my arm around his and dragged him along. Rüdhon sent me a look that I made me smile and tighten my hold on him. "Rüdhon. I will be by your side each step of the way." I tried to keep my emotions out of my voice but the glare he sent me, made me laugh.
"Thank you." He sighed, but laughed with me before he pressed a kiss to my temple. Rüdhon made sure to close the door behind us, and stepped into pace beside me as we made our way through the halls, down into the main hall. Laughing together all the way, until the throne room was within sight.
Rüdhon felt my hesitation and sent me a soft smile before stepping ahead of me. It was only the fourth or the fifth time I had been in the throne room since I returned to the Woodland Realm. There were two reasons for that. One, Thranduil seldom left the main hall, secondly, I had a lot to see too now. Rüdhon saw to that. He kept me busy. Not that I minded because I got to explore the forest again.
Nervously, I tucked another strand of loose hair behind my ear when we entered the throne room. A flustered move on my behalf but the expectancy of what would inevitably happen once we entered the throne room made me quite anxious. I was extremely nervous as to why Thranduil had requested my presence as well.
Rüdhon, always the diplomat, stepped forth and allowed me to step in behind him, remaining somewhat hidden from Thranduil's line of sight. Thranduil didn't even acknowledge our presence before Rüdhon lowered his head, hand over his heart in respectful greeting. Those piercing eyes that looked over the edge of the parchment settled on me and narrowed when I stared back.
Thranduil arched a brow and lowered the parchment but remained where he was, lounging in the throne. He honestly looked like one that belonged there. The large structure behind him had been carved out from a large piece of wood and lifted a few meters of the ground. It was a magnificent structure, commissioned by Oropher and used by him for countless years. The way Thranduil lounged in the throne, one leg thrown over the other, was a solidary protest towards his father. Such a display of nonchalance would not have gone unnoticed by Oropher.
He seemed to always be reading some important letter or another document that required his attention. On this day he was dressed in a burgundy read tunic, no robe draped over his shoulder and no crown on his head. His father's favorite cape draped over the throne. The long blonde hair hung straight down his back, even when he lowered the document even further.
The bags under his eyes seemed to have become even darker since last I stood before him, and I wondered if he even slept at night nowadays. He was always here when I got up in the morning, and still here whenever I returned late from my duties guarding the forest. Thranduil's expression seemed to soften, but only momentarily before he discarded the document and uncurled to his feet, the motion uncertain and slower than usual.
I had done my best to remain out of his sight, and yet here I stood again. I swallowed nervously when my throat began to close. I feared what he had to say and inched further in behind Rüdhon, with my chin low and eyes glued on the floor. "Hir vuin. (My lord)." Rüdhon spoke carefully and lowered his head once more.
Thranduil's attention shifted to Rüdhon before descending the last few steps. He halted in front of Rüdhon who did not seem to grow smaller under his heavy gaze. I on the other hand tried to become as small and insignificant as I could. The silence between us were deafeningly loud and when Rüdhon sighed, Thranduil seemed to snap out of whatever trance he'd been in.
"Voronwë just conveyed unsettling news." Thranduil cleared his throat and gathered his hands behind his back. "Why was I led to believe that the infestation of the spiders was under control?" He asked and arched a brow at Rüdhon who seemed to grow a bit smaller with those words. Thranduil kept his head high, eyes slightly narrowed while he waited for a reply.
"Aran nín .(My king)." Rüdhon dared step forward but Thranduil lifted a hand to stop him. The motion quick, forcing him to remain where he was. Rüdhon swallowed and lowered his chin before he sucked in a deep breath. "The spawn of Ungoliant, they've retreated to a part of the forest no Woodland elven dares go. Their numbers keep growing, no matter how many we hunt down, they replenish their forces quicker than we can keep up."
"Why was I not informed of this then?" Thranduil lowered his hand and for the first time I saw disappointment flash over his expression. Then anger. Thranduil was the one to take a step forwards this time, hand lowering to his side. "Your task was perfectly clear. You were to keep our lands clear of those foul creatures—"
"Hir nín, if we could just go and exterminate them at their source—" Rüdhon tried bravely. Thranduil arched a brow at his brazen words. "They remain just beyond our borders, out of our reach while their numbers grow, and they fester further and further into our lands. If we could just—"
"Farn! (Enough.)" Thranduil raised his voice, cutting him off before he could even finish the sentence and Rüdhon stepped back. The step large enough to accidentally step on my toes. I instinctively lifted my hands and placed them against his back for support but also to remind him I was here.
"Goheno nín, Aran nín.(Forgive me, my King.)" Rüdhon lowered his chin, admitting to his mistake. The brief hopefulness that had flashed over Rüdhon vanished straightaway and he stayed quiet. The way Thranduil had raised his voice at Rüdhon, was abundantly clear. He was not to question his order any further. My hands lingered on Rüdhon's back for support and because I was frankly disappointed with Thranduil's initial response. He was our king, but it did not excuse his actions.
Thranduil seemed to have read my intentions before I could even think to execute them because his eyes snapped to me and narrowed when I did not lower my stare. Thranduil challenged me, dared me to speak up but I would not take the bait as we stared at each other. Then his attention shifted back to Rüdhon. "Your task is still to keep our lands clear of those foul creatures, no more no less. Have I made myself clear?" Thranduil questioned.
Rüdhon nodded once before deeply lowering his head. I mimicked his actions, but only barely lowering my head. This was the little defiance I could do to show my dissatisfaction with him. "The fortune of the world may rise and fall beyond our border but here in this kingdom we will endure." Thranduil words were firm. He even arched a brow at me when clearly understanding my act of defiance, and before I could turn away to follow Rüdhon, he cleared his throat. "Elarinya, a word."
This time it was me who seemed surprised. He had uttered my name with some difficulties and seemed like he did not want to even look at me right now. I smiled to Rüdhon who had lingered, uncertain if he should or not. The smile he returned were brief before he quickly exited the throne room because Thranduil sent him a glare. I groaned before turning back to face Thranduil.
He picked up the scroll again, skimming the content as he moved towards a guard nearby. "Take this to my study." He ordered. The guard nodded and took the parchment from Thranduil. It took a while before he spoke but when he did, he did so without looking at me. "Elrond will be arriving from Imladris later today and has requested to see you. Please join us later tonight in my private study." Thranduil really tried not to look at me while he spoke, and I found it rather childish of him.
I bit down my words and sighed, but unfortunately the sound resembled a scoff more than an actual sigh. This brought Thranduil's attention snapping back to me. He seemed surprised by my actions, but his expression soon hardened, growing unreadable again before he turned away, purposefully looking away. Somehow, I was able to read him like an open book. The same way he had always been able to read me. Now alone, I retorted to challenging him back.
"Retorting to not looking at me, Hir nín?" I tried my best to remain respectful when speaking to him, clearly remembering he was still my king. Deep down, I knew he wanted nothing to do with me any longer, but I was not ready to let it go. My hands, gathered in front of me, fisted a large handful of my dress to keep me centered. Thranduil noticed this, his eyes dipped momentarily before he returned my glare.
"I have nothing to say to you Elarinya, Gwao hî.(Go away.)" Thranduil ended the conversation before it had even begun but I would not allow him to dismiss me like this, not when I finally had him speaking to me. I understood why he didn't want to see me every day. It had to be as painful for him as it was to me, each time being reminded about a time we both wanted to forget.
"Avon! Len iallon—(I wont! I beg you—)." I protested and stepped forwards. Bravely taking a large step, in the process closing the distance between us even though Thranduil already had turned back to his throne. The second I reached for him, he weaved out of the way, out of my initial reach.
In response, Thranduil spun around, hair whipping into his face as he grabbed my arm. "Farn! Daro! (Enough! Stop!)" He tightened his hold on my wrist, looking absolutely seething with my defiance. "I will not have you defy me like this. Elarinya, I made myself perfectly clear as to the conditions to your stay here, do not make me regret the initial kindness I extended to you." Thranduil lifted his chin, attaining his full height again.
I was forced to look up to meet his stare. He had always been a great deal taller than me. His lips had become a thin line, eyes had narrowed as he waited for my response, though he was clearly not in the mood to deal with his confrontation. I took a deep breath and grabbed his hand still around my wrist but the moment I touched his hand, he released me. I grunted at him, trying hard not to cave in to the overwhelming urge to scream at him.
Thranduil arched a brow when my decision to remain silent became clear. I reciprocated his raised brow, but he scoffed at me and turned back to his throne. In that moment I lost it and screamed at him before muttering "Ego mibo orch—." as I turned on my heels. Thranduil had heard my words, the soft jolt coursing through him was unmistakable but chose not to yell at me, or worse, exile me from the Woodland Realm. He was foremost my King, but obviously neither of us could just throw away what we once had shared.
I was fuming when I returned to my own room and had to act out, so I threw my old diary across the room. It slammed into the wall opposite my bed before it slid down against the wall and landed on the ground. I screamed again in frustration and tossed myself onto the bed. I wanted to do more than just throw a book and scream but knew it would get me nothing but the brief satisfaction of doing something I shouldn't.
With the fresh memories of what had just transpired in the throne room, I remained on the bed for the remainder of the day. The softness of the bed seemed to swallow me and my sorrows. I didn't leave the comforts of the bed before the sun had sunken down past the horizon. Still, I lingered in my room, watching the moon slowly rise. The sight had brought back memories from years ago. I had spent countless nights describing the night sky to Ûtridien.
The sight forced some of the anger still lingering to evaporate. I took a few steadying breaths before leaving the bed. I corrected on my hair, halfheartedly trying to tame the wild curls of mine before turning towards the door. Thranduil had requested my presence because Elrond had wanted to see me. With another shaky breath I turned back to the nightsky behind me.
This had always been Ûtridien's favorite time of the day. Ûtridien was a well-known healer throughout middle-earth. He was often referred to as the wandering healer, a name he had gained because he never lingered anywhere for long. He had been unfortunate to lose his sight during a battle. It was rumored that he had been a great warrior then, and still was despite the loss of his sight. He somehow managed, and still rarely lost a fight.
When he lost his sight, he turned towards the medical arts and became a great healer like his father had been. The knowledge had always been there, but it had not been the path he had desired to pursue at first. He had been protecting the High King, Gil-galad for many years. And by now, he must've traveled Middle earth countless times during his long life.
His friendship was deeply treasured, despite how few times I saw him throughout the years. And each time we met again, I was to describe the night sky for him. A thing I had always done since I was very young. He had lingered in Greenwood when I was younger.
The fond memory made me smile at the night sky before drying away the tears that had emerged. There was no need to prolong it any longer. This was not optional. This had been a demand. Yet I prolonged the enviable by lingering in my room. Then a series of soft knocks sounded from my door and dragged me out of my thoughts.
I jolted in surprise and reached for the door. "Elarinya—" It was Rüdhon. I relaxed again and made sure that there was no evidence left of my tears as he entered the room. Rüdhon smiled to me when he entered but lingered by the door. He was back in his guard uniform and the long hair, that had been loose this morning, were once again gathered in the long braid he usually kept.
"The King asks for you—" Rüdhon sighed, cutting himself off before he closed the door behind him. it forced me to take a step back. "What did you do? I keep hearing a rumor you told the king to go kiss an orc." There was amusement in his voice, despite the seriousness lining the words. He arched a brow at me when I didn't react to his words. Then I grinned, forcing a smile until his lips.
I shrugged. "Maybe." My grin widened into a smirk. "Though he was asking for it." I just dismissed him and placed a hand on his chest. I padded his chest a few times before reaching for the door behind him.
"You have a death wish." Rüdhon sighed and shook his head in disbelief. I shrugged again and opened the door. He groaned as followed closely behind me. "Please refrain from angering our king any further. His mood is foul enough as it is." Rüdhon placed a hand on my shoulder and kept me from walking down the hallway. "I mean it Elarinya. I know you better than most." He arched a brow at me to show how serious he was when I dismissed him with a lazy wave of my hand.
"Yes, yes, yes." I dismissed with another lazy wave of my hand and stepped out of his reach. Despite his seriousness, Rüdhon was still smiling when we continued down the hallway. It was a smile I returned because I knew he meant well. "I will stay out of trouble, if you promise me something."
Rüdhon hummed to let me know he was listening. I twirled to face him completely. He arched a brow at my actions but remained quiet. "Be safe tonight. I know our king have high expectations of you but stay safe." I fiddled with his uniform, making sure he had dressed properly.
Rüdhon sighed and removed my hands but kept a firm hold onto my wrists. "I promise you this if you heed my words. The king needs no further reason to be angry." He looked seriously at me. When I broke into another smile, he relaxed and released my hands. "Never stop smiling, Elarinya." Rüdhon whispered before he turned away. His words left me stunned and unable to reply before he was out of sight.
It took me a little while to recover before I turned towards the throne room. It was empty when I entered. Something that seldom happened but I knew Thranduil was properly already with Elrond in his study. I exhaled nervously and corrected on my dress, fiddling it before continuing with my hair. Not that I cared much for propriety, I still felt nervous for this meeting.
When I pushed the doors open to the King's private study, a place I had been only a few times before when Oropher was king, I was met with the laugher of children. The sound alone left me stunned in the doorway. Then three children came running around the table in the middle of the room, two brown haired and one blonde. Thranduil and Elrond, stood on the other side of the table already set for three people.
They were in deep conversation, and Thranduil were really smiling. It was but a small curve on his lips, but it was there. Mesmerized by the sight of the familiar smile that had once solemnly belonged to me, made my heart ache. I pressed a palm to my heart and lowered my gaze, knowing he would dislike my staring.
Lord Elrond was the first to acknowledge my presence. "Elarinya, good of you to join us." I jolted and sucked in a deep breath when my attention snapped back to him. I managed a small smile, but it faded when seeing the stern, unimpressed expression Thranduil carried instead of the small smile he'd first been carrying when I entered.
"Hir nín—Aran nín. (My lord—My king.)" I lowered my chin, bowing my head to them both. Elrond kept smiling even when the children ran close around me. "It is good to see you again, Lord Elrond." I turned to him, ignoring Thranduil's glare. I had recognized Elladan and Elrohir straight away, but not the third boy. This had to be Thranduil's son, and I could not help my staring because this boy truly looked like him. I saw so much of Thranduil in him.
Legolas seemed younger than Elrond's twins, but not much as he kept up with them well. I found it hard to stop myself from smiling when the boys ran around the table again, giggling and laughing loudly. Elven children were a rare sight nowadays, there had not been many births since the second age. The young were growing old and the old did not die.
Thranduil somehow seemed uncomfortable, dressed in his favorite robe with the silver cloak over his shoulder, held together on his chest by a silver pin. Elrond at his side, was in a golden tunic, with a matching cloak around his shoulders and a golden circlet resting on his forehead. Not even Thranduil was wearing his usual crown of Woodland wood, leaves, and flowers. He looked slightly smaller without it.
With my attention occupied elsewhere, I did not notice the boys come back around the table. One of the twins made a sharp turn and went the other way around me. His brother barely managed to follow, and Legolas tripped in my dress. We all heard the thud when the young prince landed on the ground. I dropped fast, kneeling to help the prince back up onto his feet.
Thranduil had also acted and before I could settle Legolas back onto his feet, Thranduil's hands pushed mine away and lifted his son up from the ground. "I told you to be careful." Thranduil sighed when he took the young prince into his embrace. But the glare he sent my way made me shiver, and only very slowly uncurl back onto my feet.
I swallowed nervously and kept my head low while Thranduil examined his son for any possible injuries. Elladan and Elrohir had grown quiet and sought their own father. I watched Thranduil's exchange with his son from the corner of my eyes, afraid to be scolded any further. "Legolas, go with Mithrid, and no more running in the halls." Thranduil put his son down and gently nudged him towards a young female servant, I had not seen her when first entering.
Once they had all left, Elladan and Elrohir as well, Thranduil returned to the table that had been set for three people. He pulled out the nearby chair and looked at me for the first time that evening. I knew his intentions and took the seat he offered me. Thranduil pushed the chair in when I sat before he moved on to the chair at the end of the table, Elrond took the remaining chair on the other side of the table.
Thranduil even poured a glass of wine and offered it to me before he did the same to Elrond. I had taken the glass with shaking hands but was still grateful for what he had done. This wine was not something the common elf drank. This wine was some of the finer wine we had in the kingdom. I knew from the moment the wine touched my lips, even though I had barely tasted the wine. The first taste was exquisite, a sweet, rich, and fruity texture.
I melted against the back of my chair and lent against it as Thranduil, and Elrond stated conversing. I did not listen to their conversation, too occupied with the glass of wine in my hands. When I finally decided it was best to go easy on it and placed the cup down, I did it because I knew Thranduil had always preferred the richer taste, but also the stronger ones. You could say whatever you wanted about Thranduil and his ill temper, but he had excellent taste in wine.
While they conversed, I remained quiet and picked on a nearby vine of grapes. I relished in their taste, and it provided me with something to do and keep myself occupied. "Elrond how is your wife faring. I have heard that she is blessing you with another child." Thranduil swirled the content of his wine glass before gazing my way for a moment.
"She is well, considering. And yes, she will soon bless me with another child." Elrond confirmed, calming my attention as well. Elven children were always an interesting subject. But it also left me to wonder what had happened to Thranduil's wife, Calathiel. Did she die in childbirth? No one would answer, even Rüdhon became very quiet whenever I asked. There were no memorials around the kingdom either.
I leant against the back of the chair and threw one leg over the other, my attention wholly on Elrond. "How is Legolas?" Elrond spoke carefully as if he knew this was not something anyone could ask. It gained Thranduil's attention straightaway. The way his grip tightened around the glass was not a good sign. Thranduil glared at me from the corner of his eyes before even considering answering the question.
Then a scream and someone came running through the doors to the study. Thranduil stood up immediately, his chair scraping against the floor as he put down his glass and went for his son that had emerged. It all happened so quickly. I barely had enough time to react myself. I scooted forwards on the chair, hands on the arm rest and ready to stand up but I knew I was not needed, nor desired to meddle with this when I saw Thranduil pick up his son. Legolas cried loudly for his father when he picked him up and stormed out the room.
I swallowed and looked nervously after them, barely able to breathe because I was honestly worried. When I turned back to Elrond, he provided me with a reassuring smile. "Thranduil does not talk about the loss of the queen, but Legolas's mother died not many years ago. She was taken prisoner by a pack of orcs, they tortured her, kept her locked away in the ruins of Angmar and her mind broke. When Thranduil finally found her again, it was too late." Elrond explained without me even having to ask.
In those few words, Elrond had answered many of my questions and I finally understood where much of this hatred came from. The loss of his queen had been recent and properly still weighed on his mind, and on everyone else in the Woodland Realm. My tears swelled for no reason, and I felt remorse. I felt saddened by that news. The horror and loss Thranduil must've faced during all these years were unfathomable.
"Please excuse me." I whispered and pushed the chair back. Elrond stood up, looking rather surprised. "It was a great pleasure seeing you again, my lord." A single tear escaped my eyes and Elrond sighed.
"Your return might not have been at the right time, but do not dismay. This is the first time in years I've seen him smile." Elrond's words made me hesitate. The elven lord on the other side of the table waited for my reaction with a faint smile. His words had been genuine.
"Forgive me, my lord. I find it hard to believe. Thranduil does not want me here. The only reason I've been allowed to remain in the Woodland realm is because he owes my father a debt." I whispered the words, fearing that Thranduil could return any time. I gazed at the door, making sure he was not there before I continued.
"I will not stand in his way. I made my choice long ago and it didn't include him. I must live with the consequences of my choice." I swallowed and brushed my hair away from my face. I chewed on the inside of my cheeks before turning towards the door but hesitated and turned back to Elrond. "Please excuse me. I will return to my room."
I had barely stepped away from the table before Elrond sighed. "Your father saved Thranduil's life, but it cost Othar his own. That is the debt Thranduil owes and cannot repay." More tears swelled and I halted in the doorway both because I had heard his words but also because I had stepped directly into Thranduil's path.
"Aran nín—(My king)." I lowered my head and stepped around Thranduil who allowed me to leave without another word. He turned to look after me as I hurried out the throne room, he had unquestionably heard what Elrond had said because he had been standing still when I almost collided with him.
While fleeing to my room, I could not believe that was the debt he owed my father. he owed a life debt. I knew my father had lost his life in the battle of Dargolad, like so many others but not like this. He'd done his duty and protected the King. My father had kept his promise to me, and protected Thranduil.
I had begged my father to watch over Thranduil before they all left for the war. Father had agreed, reading my plea for what it was. I saw it in his eyes as he looked between me and Thranduil, putting two and two together. He knew I loved him. And had made the ultimate sacrifice.