Lareaha Banks
My fingers skimmed through the mail in my hands as I watched the silver rims to his car slow and turn into his drive way. To avoid contact by any means possible, I was walking as fast as I could to the front door, but I assume it just wasn't fast enough.
"Lareaha." His voice sounded off pitch when I anxiously turned around to see him. I craves a face and body so great but a soul so tainted I knew he didn't deserve me or mines. For a good moment we didn't say anything but stare, it was as if the world no longer spun on it's imaginary axis. The tension was really just that thick, it radiated like heat waves even though it's late November.
"What?"
"Can I... can we talk?"
That was the last thing I wanted to do. My conscience was tearing me apart telling me I'd never get any sleep if I didn't. I silently nodded my head and his hand pushed his car door closed. His frame with a steady beat walked across the street and I allowed him inside, something my father told me never to do again. Something I probably shouldn't have let happen again for my sake.
Once locking the door, he joined me in my room and we desired a comfortable spot on my bed. I felt so awkward I didn't even know what to a say, and him staring at me made it even worse because I don't think I can look him in his eyes and not cry.
"I'm sorry you came to Virginia and I wasn't as cooperative or open as you would've liked. I didn't want you to feel awkward because my ex and daughter were there. I didn't want you in that situation, I didn't want to hurt you. But it seems I did, and I apologize." His words were tacky after a view seconds and stuck to my brain visually. I could only imagine his position of all of us being in the same room.
"It's-"
"I'm not done." He said softly. "I think you should know something about me. Something that factors into a monogamous relationship- situation with me. I have a multiple personality disorder, I have a sexual aura that fights over my brain and body to please my high desirable needs. I don't know if you want to know more, but I thought it was fair to tell you. Sometimes my words aren't always from... me. I might say things that lead you on-"
"So you're going to blame this whole ordeal on a disorder?" I scoff, I didn't think he could be this pathetic.
He tightened his plump lips and looked down, his eyelashes spewing with length. "I just don't think we should see each other anymore. We bring each other bad news, and it's not right."
Well if this didn't hurt more than leaving Virginia I don't know what did. "Okay, I understand."
"Lareaha, it's nothing against you, I just don't think it's best for us. We knew this was based off of a sexual tension and it turned into something fun to do." He stated.
"Something fun, I wish you would stop saying that. It wasn't fun, it was sensual. I don't give away my body so a guy can have fun with it? I'm far from sleazy. You're the second man I've given myself to, I'm going to feel more attached. It's not like I do this on a regular basis like you probably have done-"
"Okay! And there's a prime reason, you're 17 and I'm 35! Quit making it seem like I get around, I'm older than you, of course I've had more interactions with females. I don't owe you shit about what I do with anyone else, we aren't dating! This-" he points between myself and him. "Is not a relationship."
"I don't want it to be!" Since he raised his voice I found it fair to raise mine. I didn't want him to have the power in the conversation. I'd feel cornered.
"Then why the hell are you crying and so hurt for?"
"Maybe because I grew attached and have feelings that are undeniably true. I opened up to someone which is hard for me to do, and to know you think this is all just fun and games hurts. I wish I would've knew your intentions before ever having sex with you. I thought it would be okay to have sex with you because I thought I had you figured out, just leave." My tears were rolling now, and never stopping my cheeks from drying.
"This is crazy, you have no idea who I am, so why did you open up to me!"
"I don't know who you are? All the deep intellectual conversations we have shared? I felt like I knew you! So I opened up to you! You made me feel comfortable enough to open up to you! You told me you would be here for me, and you didn't fucking mean it! All of this has been fake from the beginning obviously." I wiped my tears from my eyes and felt a headache approaching adequately.
Minutes went by as it was quiet between us and I was tired of his presence. "So what are you still here for? Go, I don't want anything to do with you." I cracked. "Why is it so hard for you to leave?"
"Something in me is telling me to stay, and take care of your needs." He mumbles.
"I don't need anything else from you, s-so just g-go..." I croaked as his hand rested along my bare thigh. My heart sunk to my stomach and I breathed heavily as his hand pressed into my thigh, running to the hem of my shorts. My hand pressed into his wrist, "Stop it."
"But I know you don't want me to."
My lips ajar and my voice inaudible at the moment, I could barely replied when he thrusted the pad of his thumb over my sweet spot. "Stop." There was a feeling of embarrassment as I fell under this trap to make me feel as if everything was okay. I never seen him be so persistent because, this simply is not him. He wouldn't take advantage of me in any means possible. So he's trying to make me fall into this game of cat and mouse.
He noticed my pale expression, my eyes still with damp rain, and he stopped pressing his thumb over me. His hands rasped through his blonde mess and he sat conflicted along the edge of me bed. I took the moment to refine my position on the bed and tightened up into a ball.
"I don't want this to be what it shouldn't be."
He turned to look at me as I stopped speaking and sighed while clumsily playing with his hands. "But I know I'll be back for more, and so will you. It's all a Shakespeare feeling, a false face must hide what the false heart doesn't know."
I'm in a limbo of emotions with someone I thought I knew inside and out, I guess I don't know him at all.
Stallion Brown
Four thirty am and I'm either sober or high, more than likely high because I have to question my current conscience. I've failed to come to the conclusion that I don't know how to stop Zeus, I can't even catch up with him because I've let him get so far ahead of me. He's at an ultimate domination of sensing another human being while I'm trying to fight feelings and emotions he brought upon me. It wasn't fair in my brain and it wasn't even close to fair with my body. It was a man vs. man conflict but there was only one honest man in the conflict, myself.
My fingers dusted out the cigarette in the ash tray beside my shoe as I had already had my shoes propped up on the small table outside. I didn't see the sun rising any time soon since day light savings times has taken over the area. The winds were picking up and leaves were crumbling like asteroids to the earth. Making all immune to the chilled weather, we abhorred it dearly and loved the holiday's it bought.
I saw myself venturing back inside and sliding the patio glass door closed, locking it and closing the blinds. My intuition told me to call my boss, to inform him my job is almost invalid to continue because my target has moved. I'd fight shy of this moment for a long time because I was tangle in a jungle with Lareaha. We were almost bonded to each other and I forgot all about what I'm really here for.
There were pro's to this situation, but plenty of cons. If following through with telling Maxwell, I can pursue moving to North Carolina and resting my case with this man and his infidelity to the work force. Earn my share of reporting to the police department, earning my recognition, a check to serve me good for a couple years, and onto the next case. This was just my life, and my longest case ever.
The consequences were detrimental to my emotions it seemed. I could bail out of this case, pursue Lareaha and never confess of why I even moved here. Then there's the chances of my dishonesty eating at my spine and demising my soul into telling her that her father moved because of his company infidelity. Moreover, I only got close to her to find evidence on my casework. It was all fucked up in one sense or another, I didn't want to hurt her more than I already have.
My hand fiddled in my fingers as I longed to call Maxwell, but instead I ended up making a phone call to Markell.
"My mans, what's the east side do with the fresh man with the big crib?" Markell emphasized a loudly laugh as I could almost smell pot through my phone, that's how high he was.
"I'm tied up right now, got some shit going on-"
"Everybody got shit going on, fuck you mean. I'm trying to slide back with my old girl but she not really feeling me how she used to." He chuckled over a soft pause.
My mind treaded back to when I first met Markell. Before I moved to Rhode Island I was great friends with his brother Fort. Fort was more into drugs and was soon to drop out of highschool, so I treaded my water lightly with him. I knew when I was offered this job here that I could go to Markell for a first sight. Little did I know that he went to school with my Chauncey's daughter, or better yet dated her. That was subliminal to me and didn't matter much. I wasn't focused on his daughter, I was hungry and prioritizing to get to Chauncey and his dirty laundry. My job was to find it and air it out, not sought his home for a better treasure.
Though when I went to introduce myself, I thought I was going to be face to face with the felon himself. I knew he had a daughter, I just didn't know she would pique my interest more than my job. To say the least, she had me distracted from day one, or should I say Zeus had me absentminded. It was more of absentminded gazes at her after our first encounter, what can I say, the girl wasn't my type or close to my age, but she was beautiful.
I knew I'd swoon her whenever I was around, I took advantage to that. I thought I could easily slide in casual sex and business. Everything isn't as seemed when you reside without your intuition and catch feelings. Fair is foul, and foul is fair.
"Yeah, females are crazy." I said to carry on the conversation I didn't want to hold any longer. I didn't want to hear him talking about someone who I've grown a sexual connection with, it sounded just as bad as him talking good shit about someone I like. I hold these standards of not falling for her against myself, and it's beating me down into a drain. I'm almost weak and defeated from this. How much longer can I deny?
"I think I'ma ask her out on a date, try to apologize. What you think?"
"Bad idea, you're causing her more stress than she needs probably. She probably doesn't think much of you." I say without hesitation.
"You think? I mean, I'm a little persistent for some pussy this week. I got to do what a dude got to do to get in the pussy. Her shit exclusive, it's only been with me and mines so I know she knows what I have to offer." Markell talked a long time. It grew infuriating listening to him talk smack about Lareaha, so I plainly hung up. I wasn't about to fight this, and I wasn't going to let her slip out my hands either.
After flickering off the light to my office, I closed the door and walked to the front door. My heart was clinging to go talk to her right now, even if it was this early. I didn't care how foolish I looked, I had to do this.
I knocked and knocked and got nothing but a half awake teenage boy in my face. He rudely shut the door and I stood dumbfounded until Lareaha opened the door moments later. She stood ready as if she were going to leave to go to school, as in she was dressed and ready for the day.
"Why are you here, it's five am." Her voice was dry but nonetheless hinted of peppermint. I'm sure my nicotine and pot aura gave myself away as she cringed when I opened my mouth.
"I don't want to fight this any longer. Everything I said the other week, was bullshit." My mind was cluttered and my vision hazed trying to stare at hers.
"You're insane."
"Maybe I am, maybe it's for something that I long for. I long for your irresistible touch and when
I think about you, I'm drifting off to the moon. I don't want to fight the feelings I have for you like... this."
She blinked blatantly at me and shook her head as she looked down to her shoes. "You don't have to try to make me feel better. I'll be just fine, and we can just do what we've been doing for the past week. We don't need an affiliation or a title."
"Fuck a title, I'm done fucking with your feelings and making you cry." I spat, I didn't mean to but I had to manifest my seriousness in the situation.
"I thought you said I don't know who you are, remember? There's nothing great about me, there never has been. You've showed me your true colors, they bleed through everything you say to me now, I can't trust you like I used to."
"Why are you fighting this?" I say anxiously.
"Fighting what?" She says.
Us.
•••
Thank you for reading. I've been feeling inspired by Shakespeare lately so that's why the title is a little ordinary lol. Starting back my questionaries at the end of chapters.
- Do you personally want Lareaha and stallion together, why or why not?
- If you were in Lareaha's position what would you do as far as Stallion's confessions?
- Do you think Stallion may get caught up with his ex Vahl and Lareaha? Don't forget, Zeus overpowers alot of what he says and does.