Chapter 26: Love
It had taken me a long time to figure out what love was. I had never had adoring parents to teach me, and it wasn't like the Academy was all for creating wishy-washy, emotional killers, so I hadn't had a lot of examples to reference.
At different points throughout my life, I'd thought I'd figured it out. Love was jumping in front of a bullet; love was travelling through Russia to complete a promise made ages before; love was dropping everything to return and raise a child that wasn't yours; love was forgiveness and fighting and shared morning coffee and a thousand tiny moments rolled into unforgettable memories that could be cherished until the last breath.
For me, love was Dimitri.
Without his unwavering support, there was no way I could have made it through the aftermath of the accident. He was always at my side for press conferences, standing in the background with Alberta and remaining as present a face as me in the Moroi media. He was holding my hair back in the middle of the night when I was vomiting from the stress, anxiety, and sheer amount of grief I felt at the deaths of my colleagues and near death of my daughter on my watch. He was my strength while I was everyone else's.
Annessa continued to be as bubbly and energetic as before. She was the one constant thing through the tragedy, unchanging and beautiful as she returned with full-force to her life in school. I was guilty of spoiling her more than I should've in the weeks after she was released from the hospital, buying her new dance shoes, toys, and outside-world sweet treats that were horrible for her health. It was the only way I knew how to show how thankful I was that she had come into my life and changed it in a way I'd never believed possible; almost losing her had brought a lot of things into perspective.
I sat in my office weeks after that horrific day, my pen scribbling across another press release that would be mailed out that afternoon. It stated how miraculous a recovery the Academy was making; it reassured the Moroi royals that this was not breaking us, even with the reminders of fallen students and faculty fresh in our minds.
Alberta had officially left about two weeks ago. She said surviving a tragedy with such grace and composure meant my training, after decades of studying and disobeying her, was finally complete. I was on my own, truly the leader without her presence lingering over my shoulder. I was Captain of the Academy Guardians.
Closing the folder of paperwork, I couldn't help myself from looking around my office with a smile playing on my lips. It looked the same as I remembered from my childhood, but I could see my small touches on the bookshelves and walls now. The Russian artwork, the leather jacket hanging on the door, the gold nameplate that read "Guardian R. Belikov-Hathaway" in simple script – this was where I was always meant to be and it felt amazing to finally have a place to call home after years of roving the globe.
A knock came on the door, interrupting my small epiphany as the old wood creaked open to reveal a blonde head of curls bolting through my office. With my smile widening, I pushed back from my desk chair and opened my arms for my daughter, who readily came around and enveloped herself into my embrace.
This was where I belonged.
"You'll never guess what happened in class today, Mama," Annessa gushed as she pulled back to look me in the eye, a dramatic gasp on her lips. "Greyson tried to pull my braid and Madame caught him and –"
"Let your mother finish her work, zaika," a deep, Russian accent called from the doorway, making my smile widen even more as I looked passed a mess of curls to my Guardian God leaning against the wood frame. He looked as stunning as ever in a black t-shirt and jeans, his hair neatly tied back and an amused smirk playing on his face while he studied my expression. "Are you ready, Roza?"
My arm still around Annessa, I nodded and said simply, "Let's go home."
The end.