CHAPTER DEDICATED TO: The person who made this trailer. It's simply amazing! Thanks a lot! Thank you very much mshelly823
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4GcnO6nOtA
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CHAPTER 5 – Change
**TORI's POV**
He's back. Zach is back."
There was uneasiness in my voice and I felt panic starting to creep in. I really don't know what to do or say. Honestly, I'm not prepared! I've been thinking about the things that I'll do when he comes back or once I saw him but after a month of waiting in vain, I really forgot about it.
I decided that I shouldn't keep my hopes up. I should accept the fact that he will never come back again.
But then, he did.
He's here. In the same place as I am. Standing a few feet away from me.
I'm wondering, what will he do? What will he say? What was his reason as to why he came back? And what was the meaning of the dance we shared last night!
What are you planning, Zachary Anderson?
"He's back?" Chloe questioned. She looked over my shoulder and then I saw her eyes widen. "Oh my! He is!" She immediately looked at me, worried. "You want to—"
"Get out of here? Yes! Please." I told her. But when I was about to retreat, she grabbed my hand as if reprimanding me.
"No. I was about to ask if you want to come over and say hi." She suggested.
What was that? Come over and say hi!
"Are you kidding me?" I asked, enraged.
"Do I look like I'm kidding?" Chloe eyed me seriously.
You've got to be kidding me! Am I the only one who's processing this situation completely? My ex came back, who left me without a proper closure just a stupid letter, and I'm going to come over to say hi!
This is not the case of forgive and forget!
"Are you out of your mind? It's Zach! Zach-stupid-Anderson!"
"And so? I perfectly know that he's Zach. Tori, if he's here right now, I think he's back for good. Sooner or later, you have to face him. You don't want to waste each of your days hiding away from him, right? So why waste this opportunity if you can face your fear now. Come on." Chloe encouraged.
"But—"
"No buts. It's too late. They're coming over."
"What?!" I hissed.
"Straighten up and act cool." She whispered. I saw her compose herself and then she smiled. "Well, well, well. Look who's back!"
"Chloe, it's been a long time." It's a greeting from Nathan. I know his voice! When I was about to face him, I heard another voice that made stop from turning around.
"Hey Clow. Still the same, huh."
It was him.
Suddenly, it's hard to breath. His voice was enough to make every nerve in my body go crazy! My heart is beating so fast, I think it will explode any minute now!
So, this is how it feels like to face your ex for the very first time after he broke your heart.
"So. Is that you, Tori?" I heard him call my name. I think my heart just came out of my chest. I'm unbelievably nervous! Oh my, how am I going to turn around without looking silly in front him!
Wait a minute.
How could he say my name so casually? It's as if we're close or something. He broke my heart and here he was, acting as if nothing happened. I gathered every confidence I have just to turn around and face him.
"Yes." I managed to say a single word. I just hope they didn't notice a single ounce of nervousness in my voice. I didn't actually look at his face; my eyes immediately found Nathan to divert the discomfort in me. "Nathan, it's good to finally see you!" I moved towards his direction and gave him a hug. He hugged me back.
"I missed you, Tori. It's good to be back." He said. I stepped back and smiled at him, he smiled back.
"You're not going to leave again, right?" I hopefully asked. There was silence, I don't know why. His eyes trailed off to someone behind my back and then he turned his eyes back to me.
"No. I'm staying." He answered. "We're staying." He clarified.
I'm not that dense to understand what Nathan was talking about. I didn't utter a word. It's not that I'm afraid that I might say something bad or stupid, it's just that, I don't have any idea what I am going to say.
"So, when did you two come back? And the million-dollar question is, since when did the two of you became best of friends?" Chloe cuts the tension in the air.
Now that she mentioned it, I'm kinda curious as to how come these two were together. The way they were as I saw them, it's as if they're really close. What happened? Was Nathan with him all this time? What happened to their hatred towards each other?
I stepped aside and alternated my looks to the both of them, waiting for their answer.
They looked at each other and then laughed. "Long story." Nathan said.
I can't help but stare at Zach's direction. I can see that he's really changed. His hair is not that messy blonde anymore, but brown and well kept making him look more serious than before. He managed to keep his body in good shape, which is considered hot, as usual.
He turned to our direction and he somewhat caught my eyes staring at him, I immediately looked away. That's freakin' embarrassing!
Knowing him, I think he'll have the wrong idea as to why I'm gazing at him!
"Wow. That's a good laugh, I need a drink." Nathan said.
"This mini reunion is making me thirsty as well. I'll come with you." Chloe followed Nathan and before I knew it, it's just me and Zach!
What kind of friend are you, Chloe? Leaving me alone with my ex-boyfriend! Arggg!
"So, how are you?" Zach asked.
My eyes were focused on the retreating figures of Nathan and Chloe. I'm still undecided as to whether I will face Zach when I answer his question. Why is he talking to me anyway? And why is he acting as if we're some sort of friends?
And why am I feeling nervous around him? I didn't do anything wrong. I shouldn't be ashamed of something. I'm not the one who left Mexico and has been missing for months. I'm not the person who ran away so why should I be acting like I did something wrong and is avoiding him!
I faced him with full confidence and made sure that I answered his question while looking into his eyes. "I'm fine."
"I can see that. You look fine as well." He said with a... smile, damn it! Why does he have to smile at me like that!
I immediately looked away. At that moment, I'm afraid that he would hear my heart beating at a fast pace. What am I going to do? So much for acting tough! I'm not strong enough to face him!
"Where's James?" He suddenly asked. That made me turn my attention back to him. Why was he asking that? Was he expecting something between me and James? If we're already in a relationship?
"I think he's still sleeping. He's not a morning person anyway." I answered safely.
"True that." He said coolly.
"So, you and Nathan huh. Who would have thought?" I tried to divert the topic away from me and James.
"Yeah. You know that we're really good friends before, right? We just forgot we were because of the stupid acts I did in the past. But it changed. I bumped into him at Monte Carlo and we had a few hang outs. After that, we started to hang out even more, not realizing we somehow restored the friendship we once shared." He narrated.
So, all this time, he's been to Monaco. I wonder, aside from hanging out with Nathan, did he develop some sort of relationship with other people? In that span of months, did he have a girlfriend?
Why am I being curious about this? Who cares if he had a girlfriend or if he's back to his playboy days? I don't care.
I stopped caring the day he broke my heart!
"Good for you. Nathan is a very reliable friend."
"You could say that." He laughed. That laugh again, it's making my stomach churn! "So, how's graduation? Did you become the class valedictorian?" He asked humorously.
"Does that even surprise you?" I retorted and it earned another laugh from him.
"No. I always knew you'd be the one."
That made me stop and I felt like my heart stopped as well. Having this conversation with Zach is not healthy! I'm over thinking things! The words that he said, I'm giving meaning to all of it!
"You'll never change." He commented.
But you did. I wanted to say it out loud but I decided to remain silent.
Our conversation is safe and casual. No topic about us or what happened in the past. It's the usual conversation between two people who haven't seen each other for years.
Honestly, this isn't what I had expected.
Well, I have this picture in my head that once we came face to face, he'll beg for my forgiveness and admit that he did the wrong thing for leaving me. I, on the other hand, will turn him down and say that he needs to leave me alone and come back to the place where he really belongs.
Girl's pride, I guess.
But it's not happening. It's the opposite of everything I had in mind.
I want him to ask for forgiveness, I want him to tell me the decent reason as to why he left me. I want him to ask if he can come back to my life again.
But instead, he's here, asking for my well-being and asking for another guy! For James! The person he said he wants to be his replacement!
Does this mean that his feelings really changed?
Thinking about his behavior before and now made me realize that guys really can move on so fast. Just like that, they can forget about the sweet things and good memories you once shared.
What hurts in this situation is to see the person you once shared a relationship with, completely moved on and here you are, so stuck up in the past with nothing but good old memories.
I shouldn't be surprised though. The moment he said his goodbye, that's when he decided that he would let me go.
The content of his letter suddenly came rushing back to me.
I'm going to be true to my words. I will stay away from you. You will never see me in school or anywhere. I don't know how long, but long enough for us to forget about each other.
Did he totally forget about me? About us? Is that the reason why he came back? To show me that he really did change...
For the better.
I can't deny the fact that I'm hurt right now. All this time, what Chloe had been telling me were all true.
I still want him. I'm not yet completely over him.
I'm secretly waiting for him to come back, to mend my broken heart. But then, why is it that after seeing him, it just made things worse?
It hurts even more to see the person who once held your heart, completely forgets about everything, and acts as if nothing really happened.
I hate myself for being stuck up in this situation. For thinking that there's still this thing called hope.
It's really true that in relationships, don't expect anything because nothing is permanent. Expectations lead you to something you wanted in life that if not met, will somehow turn into pain and disappointment.
People really do change. Funny how a broken heart can turn you into a better person, but as for me, I looked better but deep inside, I'm really bitter.
This is what I get for lying to myself and for thinking that I really moved on. I shouldn't be the one saying it; people around me should be the one who'll notice if something changed in me.
Now I understand why Chloe's insisting that I haven't forgotten about Zach. I may not say it but it's obvious in my actions. I kept on telling myself that I don't love him anymore not knowing that I'm just convincing myself with these words.
I can't take it anymore; thinking about this made me want to cry. It hurts, really. I have to get out of here. I have to stay away from him.
"I-I have to go to the restroom." I walked away but then Zach grabbed my hand and made me face him.
He looked at me, my breathing became shallow and I don't know what he was planning. What was that all about?
"Tori." He started. I'm just speechless, waiting for him to continue. He's looking at me straight in the eyes. What is it Zach? Say it, please say it! "The restroom is this way." He pointed to the opposite direction that I was taking.
I wanted to slap him at that moment. I wanted to punch him, to scream at him!
What the hell is wrong with you Zachary Anderson?
That's it!
I have to face the fact that he didn't come back for me. Now that he's back, I have to forget about him and move on!
I shrugged his hand away from me. "Thanks." I said and I started to walk away, trying to hide the furiousness inside me.
I hate him, so damn much!
I hate him for leaving me alone in Mexico. I hate him for keeping me hanging and for writing that stupid letter.
He didn't even bother to ask me what the hell I wanted! He just concluded things so easily.
He simply gave up, let go and left me with some other guy!
And now that I'm starting to accept the fact that he will never come back to me and to go on with my life without him, that's the time he decided to show up!
That stupid, idiot, arrogant, good for nothing playboy came back!
Worst part was, the feelings I suppressed were starting to resurface again.
This can't be happening. Is this some kind of a sick joke?
It can't be! I have to convince myself that that playboy is nothing but trouble.
He will just hurt me and leave me again.
For that, I must hate the playboy.
Yeah, because hating is so much easier than loving.
---END OF CHAPTER FIVE---
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