Greenwood T.A 2048
It wasn't even past mid-day when I entered the forest. The silence loud and barely disturbed by my own soft steps. The snow that had fallen last night and covered the lands, crunched softly beneath my feet. It was the only sound that followed me when I passed the edge, entering the forest of Greenwood.
The air was thick and heavy, not even the sound of birds disturbed the silence. A single bird had lifted from a nearby branch when I entered the forest, startled by something or someone else. At first, I had feared it was my own carelessness, but when the soft steps of someone else close by followed me, matching my own pace almost perfectly but not enough because I knew from that moment that I wasn't alone.
The guards of Greenwood had found me quicker than expected, or it had merely been by chance that he had been nearby. I kept moving, carefully walking along the elven path that I knew like the back of my hand. I made sure my hood was pulled down and my hair covered when the figure passed from one tree to another, making more noise than intended.
I acted as if I hadn't heard it and continued down the elven path. I had decided to take the path despite my extensive knowledge of the forest because I needed time to gather my memories and the overwhelming feeling of familiarity that swept over me. When I turned around the next large tree, I was forced to make a halt. One of the trees had fallen over, hindering any from following the path.
The sight saddened me. How had this happened. The trees of Greenwood did not idly fall. I pressed my palm against the fallen tree, the bark cold and dead beneath my hand. It had been dead for years. I mumbled a soft prayer before starting my climb. It was done with deliberate slowness because my pursuer was still watching me. He had been closer than I had expected, and I couldn't keep the smile from my lips when I jumped down onto the ground behind the tree.
I landed on the ground in a controlled crouch, lowering my hand to the ground for support because my pursuer had in that moment decided to reveal themselves. The smile lingered on my lips as I dropped a knee into the snow, twirled around to face him while reaching for my weapon.
The second he stepped out behind a tree on my right, bow in hand and an arrow aimed at me, I had already lifted my own weapon. My bow creaked when I drew the arrow back, the one I had pointed at him, just a few more inches. I was sure his grip faltered for a moment, surprised I had acted so fast with my own weapon. Like me, his face was hidden below a hood, but his guard uniform gave him away. The revelation made me loosen the tension on the arrow, but I had no intention of lowering my own weapon. Neither did he, and I straightened my back to lessen the strain on my arms.
Snow crunched beneath his feet when he inched forward again but without lowering his weapon. The unknown man tightened his hold on his bow, the weapon creaking under the new strain while clearly considering what to do next. Even he was unsure about what to do next. When I lowered my weapon just a bit, the movement made him draw his arrow back a bit further, his chest straightening under the strain.
This also caused me to lift my weapon again, unsure if he would keep seeing me as a treat. I sucked in a deep breath and expanded my chest to accommodate the new strain. He was not about to relent. Nor was I.
Then other steps, hurriedly running towards us. A familiar voice then cut through the hostile energy between us before he dropped down between us. "Dartho!(Stop)." The command was shouted with an authority neither of us could resist. The figure hit the ground in a controlled crouch but was forced to put one hand down onto the ground for support, the other he held up towards my pursuer.
Despite the figure now between us, neither of us even flinched or lowered the weapons. Not until the newcomer uncurled to his feet and placed a hand on my pursuers arrow, forcing him to lower it. "Voronwë, she is not a threat." He snapped, the voice painfully familiar. "Where is your manners."
Within seconds, I had my own bow lowered and the arrow returned to the quiver on my back. I knew exactly who it was standing now between us. I didn't even have to assess him when seeing the long braid hanging down his back. I knew from the voice alone who he was. He smiled brightly when turning his head, eyes finding mine. Those brown eyes had not changed at all.
Tears swelled and I yanked my hood down. "Rüdhon—" I breathed out in relief. The edges of his lips crept even further upward, his smile widening into a grin because he had already recognized me long ago. I cried out in happiness and uncurled to my feet, faster than he could embrace me. How I had missed that smile of his.
The embrace was extremely tight and exactly what I needed. He laughed when holding me, his arms tightly wrapped around my shoulders and a hand on the back of my head. When he retracted, both his hands shifted to my cheeks, cradling my face as he lent his forehead against my own. The gesture familiar and extremely intimate. "Elarinya—" He exhaled deeply and pressed a kiss to my temple before once more embracing me.
Tears were still blurring my sight when he released me again. He seemed a bit besides himself when looking me over. "I thought you had left for the undying lands." He whispered and raked a hand through his hair, pushing some of the loose strands back into the safety of his braid.
At first gaze it seemed that he had barely aged since last I saw him, but when I started to truly look at him it wasn't hard to notice the grey streaks on his temples. They had become even more visible, and his hair had gained quite a bit of length. He had gotten older; my first assumption had been wrong. When I thought about it, he had seemed thinner as well, paler even. Worry flooded me but I wasn't allowed to feel it for long before Rüdhon turned to the other guard.
"I ordered you to remain by the border, Adlanna is on her way there to relieve you—the king seems to need you and your brother. For what, I do not know." Rüdhon sighed and placed a hand on the other guard's shoulder. The guard were not one I recognized from my own time, he had to be younger than me.
"I will depart immediately—lest not keep the king waiting. His mood is not about to become any less foul with her return." Voronwë sighed and inclined his head towards me after he had pulled down his own hood. Rüdhon arched a brow in annoyance and Voronwë lowered his head in submission before turning away. He was unlike most other elves.
Voronwë had revealed uncommonly short hair. It was jet black and straight, barely even reaching below his ears. The front of his hair on either side of his head had been intricately braided back. The braids kept together in the back with silver hair clips and the green eyes that settled on me moments after weren't completely green either, bits of brown were embedded in the bottom of his iris on his right eye. "Captain." Voronwë lowered his head again to Rüdhon before he turned away.
I kept a nervous smile when the guard frowned at me and secured my bow on my back. Rüdhon had properly recognized my father's weapon before understanding it was me. It was decorated in a way that was unlike most woodland elves. And seeing as he had spent many hours next to him, it was only natural. "I see that the guards of Greenwood have not lost their stealth." I complimented when Voronwë had left us.
Rüdhon chuckled. "The teaching of your father still lives on, Elarinya." Once again, he placed a hand on my cheek, forcing me to look at him again. I had unintentionally been looking after Voronwë as he disappeared in the distance. "How many years has it been, and yet here you stand again—your beauty still unequaled." Rüdhon sighed with a soft smile.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes as I removed his hand from my cheek, squeezing it tightly before letting go again. "I've missed you too." I chuckled and squeezed his hand once more. Rüdhon chuckled before gesturing for me to follow him.
"Aphado nîn (Follow me)—let me take you the rest of the way. The Greenwood is not as you may remember." Rüdhon sighed and gestured for me to follow him again. I merely observed him while he turned towards the elven path. Rüdhon noted my hesitation and raised an eyebrow. I shook my head, asking him to leave it before I followed him. We moved through the forest in silence, keeping to the elven path most of the time.
Though Rüdhon still wore the same uniform he had done back in the days when he served under my father, there were now a few more alterations visible. The guard uniform consisting of a long tight fitting, long-sleeved, green tunic, that sat snugly around the chest area and waist before it loosened into a double slit shirt, that usually reached below the knees.
Most wore a leather armor on top of the tunic, all very individual to the guard. Some even wore small cloaks around their shoulders, such was the case with Rüdhon, others wore full cloaks with hoods, Voronwë who had confronted me. Leather cuffs decorated their forearms, and a quiver of arrows were fastened on their back.
As we walked through Greenwood, I quickly came to understand the severity behind Rüdhon's words, but also why they had perceived me as a threat at first. This forest was no longer the Greenwood I remembered. I saw some of the horrors that had been rumored to now call this forest their home and why the woodmen now called it Mirkwood. The light and life of the trees all but gone and forgotten. They no longer creaked and swayed in the wind while they spoke to one another.
It saddened me to see the once great forest of the Woodland realm had come to this. I halted with a hand on a nearby tree trunk and took in the feeling. There was life but it had retracted so far in it was no longer able to use the words the first woodland elves had taught them. "This is what has become of the Woodland Realm King Oropher first settled in—" Rüdhon sighed when noticing my lingering. He had turned around, and his words made me aware of why he had stopped.
Across the elven path laid another fallen tree. My eyes widened, the great trees didn't just fall for no reason, and this was the second one I had met. Rüdhon sighed and turned back around before he began climbing. He did it carefully and with practiced moves as if he had done it before.
I followed him, staying mindful of the tree as I climbed over as well. The wind caught my hair when I hesitated on top of it. The forest ahead of me was even more dark and sinister than what I had already seen. Rüdhon waited on the other side, once again noticing my hesitation and as if to lighten the mood, he lifted his arms as if to catch me. I smiled at him, genuinely this time before jumping down, my own arms open to allow him to catch me.
Rüdhon chuckled when he caught me, yet I still managed to land wrongly. I had misjudged the distance and when I landed on the ground a sharp pain shot through me from my abdomen. More tears emerged and my knees gave in. If Rüdhon hadn't held on, I would have landed on my knees.
The ripple of pain that coursed through me made me cry out in pain. Rüdhon's previous joyous expression were instantly replaced with worry as he kept me up right. I pressed my face into his chest to muffle the cry of pain that followed as my hands grabbed onto his arms, nails digging into his skin. He winced but kept me up right as I breathed through the pain.
When the pain finally dulled enough for me to function, I shifted an arm around my waist, hand quickly finding the wound on my right side. I felt the crude bandage beneath my hand, and knew it was bleeding again. "Is it still that wound?" Rüdhon asked as one of his arms went around my shoulders, the other found mine on my abdomen.
I nodded, the motion barely perceivable but Rüdhon felt it because I still leaned heavily against him. Rüdhon sighed knowingly and removed the hand from my wound. "You're bleeding again—" He stated, demanding my attention. "We must get back to the kingdom, that wound should've been tended to long ago."
"Elrond tended to it before I left Imladris." I whispered, voice weak and barely audible. Rüdhon arched a brow at me, not entirely sure he was believing me but kept an arm around my shoulders as he forced me to keep moving again. The pain was almost gone again and with each step it became less difficult to remain upright.
My hand continuously rested against my right side, applying pressure while feeling the crude bandages underneath my palm slowly getting drenched in blood. I had not had time to dress it properly. It was no lie I told Rüdhon, Lord Elrond had truly been kind enough to tend to it when I passed through Imladris. His healing skill unequaled. It was a very old wound that still caused me trouble. I had remained ignorant to my needs and when a small orc party attacked me on the great east road, it reopened.
I was not the greatest warrior but knew how to handle a blade, even when traveling alone. Though the orcs had become more brazen, not only attacking lone travelers but villages and lands for sport or some other underlying dark purpose. How I hated those foul creatures and one day hoped Middle earth would be completely freed of them and their foul nature. They had been created many years ago to serve Sauron's dark agents, born from crossing elves and goblins.
Unfortunately, this wound was not any ordinary wound. Many years ago, before the great war, I had been stabbed with a morgul blade. Sauron had sent his dark servants, the Nazgul's to kill the High King on the road to Imladris. In the chaos, I had stepped in-between the Witch King and Gil-Galad. It was a foolish move on my behalf, but I had done it to protect him, for without his guidance, middle earth would properly not have survived Sauron's attack.
A wound made from a morgul blade would never fully heal. It had taken years to heal somewhat properly, but it still caused me trouble occasionally. But due to the position of my wound, it was speculated that I was never going to be able to bear children of my own. Ûtridien had tended to the wound after and had been the one to tell me I would properly never be able to carry children.
Rüdhon kept a wary eye on me as we continued through the forest, even after I had made him release me again. I moved slower, and more carefully than before. It was deliberately done even though the pain had subsided considerably. And while we moved through the forest, I kept a hand tightly pressed against the wound, glad I had opted to wear trousers instead of a dress.
I frowned at Rüdhon when he kept fussing over me, waiting and offering me a hand each time we had to climb over something. He chuckled when I arched a brow at him the fourth time he offered me his hand. The pause made me aware that someone was approaching rather quickly, hurried footsteps reached my ears and I lifted my head, alarming Rüdhon of someone else's approach. "We're no longer alone." I informed the moment he also heard it. Then a silhouetted dropped down onto the ground right between us.
Rüdhon had already drawn his bow, an arrow at the ready and drawn back as far as he could as he spun to face the newcomer. This time it was a woman, she looked rather annoyed at Rüdhon while he quickly lowered his bow again, clearly having assessed her to not be a threat. "Getting paranoid in your old age?" She frowned at him while folding her arms over her chest.
Rüdhon shook his head with a wide grin. His bow creaked when he lowered it and packed it away. "We have a problem Rüdhon—spiders have been spotted at the eastern border." She relayed the information quickly while becoming aware of my presence. Her brown eyes widened, surprise painting her expression as she also recognized me.
"Adlanna." I acknowledged before she could do more than smirk at me. She smiled with familiarity before moving towards me with open arms. I returned her embrace. She was smaller than me, more petite but her friendship was one I had missed. Her brown hair fell in the same curly waves as my own, but it was shorter than I remembered. "Make sure he stays out of trouble." I chuckled, gesturing to Rüdhon with a nod of my head. Adlanna grinned before she playfully hit his shoulder.
Rüdhon rolled his eyes, over-exaggerating how hard she had hit him by rubbing the spot she had hit as if he was sore. "I'm sorry Elarinya—but I will have to leave you here. Duty calls before all else." He smiled carefully to me, and I understood. He must've taken over as head guard when my father died. Responsibilities that could have fallen to me, had I remained in Greenwood. "I trust that you know the way." He added when I folded my arms. My smile was all he needed as confirmation.
Still, he turned back to me and pressed his forehead against mine again. "Be safe. I'll see you later. "If the king refuses to see you, go to my room and rest." Rüdhon ordered before turning away. I waved my hand dismissively when he lingered. "I mean it, Elarinya!" He added before hurrying after Adlanna.
I knew this forest in and out, every crevice, every clearing, so finding my own way would be no problem at all. Still, I lingered where I stood, watching them run through the forest, soon disappearing in the distance between a tight cluster of trees. The only evidence they left behind of their presence were soft evidence of their footsteps on the snow. The mentioning of Thranduil, had overwhelmed me, forcing me to remember the imminent confrontation I would have to have with him.
With a deep breath and a hand pressed against my side, I turned towards the elven path again. I walked slowly, not particularly in a hurry, but also wanting to savor the sight and feeling of being back in Greenwood, fearing I would not be allowed to remain here. Dread had begun to settle in my gut the closer I came to the main kingdom. I was certain that my return would not be taken well. I had turned my back on Thranduil once, and here I was again, returning without reason.
Swallowing nervously, I heard the light, almost faint footsteps nearby. Another smile tugged on the edges of my lips, knowing exactly who it was that had returned. His footsteps were light, but heavier than Rüdhon's. I halted in the next clearing and turned around to face him.
The somewhat familiar figure stepped out onto larger branch right above me on my right. Voronwë had returned. It surprised me because he seemed to have been in a hurry earlier. He looked shocked for a second before he grabbed the branch above his head, swung himself out of the tree and landed on the ground not far from me. He hit the ground in controlled crouch, quickly straightening up before stepping towards me. My hearing was exceptional compared to most elves. An inherited ability from my father.
"You're really his daughter I see." Voronwë sighed. His voice hadn't been entirely hostile but strangely appealing. When his eyes found mine again, I dared give him a small smile. It wasn't returned as he sidestepped me. "Allow me to guide you the rest of the way." He sighed, not waiting for me to follow him. I glared at him but still followed compliantly. He didn't strike me as a kind man. He was unnecessarily cold towards me for no apparent reason.
The rest of the way back to the main hall was traveled in silence. Voronwë stayed a few paces ahead of me, taking long strides to remain so while he guided me through the familiar forest. I didn't mind the silence because the throbbing pain from my wound had emerged again, painfully reminding me of its existence, slowly growing stronger for each step I took. I clenched my jaw, gritting my teeth as my hand shifted back to my side, once more tracing the crude bandages underneath my clothes.
When we passed through the main gates, the two guards stationed on either side, cast confusing glances my way. I had noticed though their faces were well hidden beneath the golden armor. The warrior armor of Greenwood. Their eyes followed us all the way into the middle of the main hall. Here I allowed my hand to drop, pushing down the throbbing pain as I took in the familiar environment.
The main halls had barely changed over the decades. The floors of the large cavern like halls, and few walls, were all decorated heavily in the golden, brown, and red nuances after King Oropher's favorite season, Autumn. But also, in turn, Thranduil's favorite season. Large vines slithered up the pillars, melting into the decoration. Still, it was as if the colors had intensified since last, I saw these halls.
I knew these halls extremely well and as we walked through the main hall, the memory of me walking closely behind my father in my newly made guard uniform flashed before me. I could easily recall all the times I had done it afterwards, walking right behind my father, proud to be his daughter and part of the guards. But most profoundly I remembered how I always felt after we had relayed the day's report to the king. I felt as if I mattered, as if I had done a difference.
Voronwë suddenly cleared his throat, and it made me realize I had halted in the middle of the hall. I jolted, eyes snapping back to meet his as he stood in the open doors to the throne room. The joyous memories I had been recalling was instantly replaced by dread. I would soon meet Thranduil again for the first time in almost two millennium. Voronwë raised an eyebrow at my hesitation, even he could see that something was wrong.
Not even when I stepped up beside him, did he relent his starring. It wasn't until I raised an eyebrow that he turned away from me. Voronwë entered first, I hesitantly followed but not before I had allowed my fingers to brush against the engravings on the open door. They felt rough beneath my fingertips, just like they had done so many years ago when Oropher had them commissioned.
When I stepped inside the throne room, my eyes instantly scanned the room before they settled on the figure on the throne. For a brief second, I saw Oropher, but after a few blinks, I realized it was not him but in fact Thranduil. Their likeness had never been as great as it was now. Thranduil had changed much over the years. His father's handsome looks even more dominant now than they had been when I last saw him in Forlindon. For better or worse.
I swallowed nervously when stepping up behind Voronwë. Thranduil hadn't even bothered to look up when we entered the hall. He remained preoccupied with the large piece of parchment in his hands. Head slightly tilted forward as his eyes moved across the paper, reading its content. His hair was longer than ever, and his blue eyes darker. But even from where I stood, I could see the dark circles hugging them. On the top of his head sat a crown of woodland wood, leaves, and flowers, all in the same red and brown nuances as the Autumn that had just passed.
"Hîr Vuin (My lord)—" Voronwë was the first to break the silence, brining Thranduil's attention to us. At first, Thranduil's gaze had been void of emotion as if he expected Voronwë to relay some news to him, but when he finally noticed me, he straightened his back. Thranduil had seemed surprised for a moment before his eyes narrowed. The expression he carried was more dangerous than any other expression I had seen him carry before.
I swallowed nervously when he slowly lent forwards. I dared meet his eyes but regretted when seeing the anger boil within him. He had never been easy to read, but there was no mistake what was going on within him now. The anger that swept over his features when he lowered the parchment and rose to his feet with a slowness that made me feel very small and insignificant. Even Voronwë cowered at my side, gaze shifting between the king and I before he wisely stepped out of the way.
Thranduil attained his full height, forcing me to look down, adverting my gaze while fearing the enviable confrontation. Thranduil carried himself tall and proud, exactly like his father had done in his time, yet I couldn't help but notice how tired and weighed down he also looked by the duties that had been bestowed upon him.
I twitched involuntarily when he took the first step down from the throne, the soft thud of his foot hitting the wood, loud in the silence that had fallen in the throne room. As he descended the rest of the way, his footsteps the only sound echoing in the room, I had once again dared lift my gaze, holding his as a last form for defiance, despite my visible shaking.
Thranduil scoffed and handed the piece of parchment off to a guard at the bottom of the throne, his eyes still solely on me. He even ignored Voronwë, who stepped further away because there were only contempt burning in Thranduil's eyes now. I was shaking under his gaze, ready to give in to the fear that filled me. I feared his anger, like I had feared his fathers.
Thranduils anger had always been fierce, and there were not many who got to see it. Yet, it burned ferociously as he beheld me. "Am man theled, Elarinya? (For what purpose, Elarinya?)" Thranduil broke the silence, his voice rough and low as if the question were also a warning. His tight voice gave away to his not entirely collected state as he halted in front of me. Beneath the anger there had to be more.
With the question lingering in the air between us, he still moved with a slowness, that allowed him time to take in the fact that I was once against standing before him. His voice had been shaking, the tone very unlike him. Voronwë lowered his head and retracted under the brief stare the king had sent his way. Voronwë did not want to stand between us, both wisely and cowardly at the same time.
I swallowed when Thranduil diverted his attention back to me. He lifted his head, disappointed I hadn't replied yet. "Û-le nathlof hí.(You're not welcome here.) You made your choice years ago—Nin gwerianneg. (You betrayed me.)" Thranduil yelled the last words at me, barely restraining himself as he launched himself at me, closing the distance between us fast until our chests were barely a foot apart.
I flinched again, involuntarily turning my head away as tears burned my eyes. Yes, I had betrayed him. I had left him without a word. I bit into my lower lip, silencing the sob that threatened to leave me. The sudden closeness of him had forced me to take a step back, frightened of what he would do. "Look at me!" Thranduil ordered when I bluntly refused.
Tears swelled in my eyes when the familiar scent of his washed over me. My throat tightened up, rendering me unable to speak when the forestry scent of cold rain on warm earth after a spell of hot weather, though mostly reminding me of oakwood and petrichor, lined with a sweet fruity wine, reached my nostrils. The only thing that escaped me was a small sob because I had been forced to remember it all, bringing all the things back I had tried so hard to forget.
"I have nowhere else to go." I choaked, throat dry like sandpaper, while finally meeting his eyes again. Thranduil arched a brow when I silenced another sob. The overwhelming need and longing for his nearness that had swelled within me, even under his cold, piercing stare, had me fighting against my better judgment. Had I truly returned for my own selfless reasons.
Thranduil would know if I lied to him. He had always had that annoying ability to read me like an open book. "Greenwood is the only home I have left." I cleared my throat but still whispered the words. Thranduil scoffed at my weak voice, now clearly more angry than disappointed. I nibbled at the inside of my cheeks and turned my head to the side, refusing to look at him as a more tears traveled down my cheeks.
"Look at me." Thranduil ordered less forcefully this time, but I refused to comply, my eyes purposely looking elsewhere. Again, he scoffed and when I continued to disobey him, then he grabbed my jaw, forcing me to look at him. His cold hand lit a trail of fire on my skin as my eyes snapped up to meet his. They were still narrowed when he took me in again.
I felt his nails dig into my skin while he clearly debated what to say next. "It's been almost two millennia. And here you stand again. And you dare speak of home?" Thranduil sneered in a very firm tone, but low enough that it could have been a whisper. There were clearly other subjects more pressing to discuss than this.
One of my hands had reached up to grasp his, my fingers wrapping around his wrist as his eyes shifted between mine, unsettling as the anger overtook his previous calmness. "Leithio nîn. (Release me!)" I demanded, suddenly finding my voice again. It surprised even Thranduil, the emotion flashing over his eyes for a few seconds before he released me.
Immediately after, I intentionally stepped out of his reach. Thranduil opened and closed the hand he had used to hold onto me a few times before it dropped to his side, looking like one who had regretted touching me. The plain disgust dominating his features told me as much. It dulled some of the previous emotions I had felt towards him.
Then Thranduil sighed deeply. "I still don't understand why you're here—you should've left for the undying lands as your plans where." His words were cold and emotionless, but still surprised me. How did he know? My reaction must've been question enough.
Once again Thranduil scoffed. "Elrond, informed me of your intentions and that you were on the Great East Road with the high elves. I've known your whereabouts for almost a millennium, thanks to Elrond." Thranduil explained and lifted his chin. "I presumed you wanted to leave middle earth with your mother's family and sail to the undying lands." Thranduil confronted. "You should have left—and spared us both this confrontation." He sneered at me. This was the first time I had seen Thranduil be this steered by his emotions.
"I wanted to leave. I truly wanted to leave and never turn back, and sail to the undying lands, but—" I stopped speaking the moment Thranduil's eyes snapped back up to mine. They had traveled when I began speaking. He shut his eyes, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose as the muscle in his jaw feathered. He looked pained for but a moment before he exhaled loudly.
"But what?" He argued. "I know why you've returned—I know what you wanted by coming back here. Whatever hope you still retain, is foolish. I cannot give you that anymore." Thranduil's voice broke when he stepped away. There was clear defeat in his voice. "I do not want you here." Thranduil said honestly. This was the first time he was honest with me.
The defeat that flashed over me, made me evaluate my reasons for coming here. They had been purely selfish. "But I owe your father a debt that I can no longer repay. This is your home, even I cannot deny that, and it will be for as long as you choose for it to be." Thranduil sighed when he finally looked at Voronwë who stood not far behind me. "Show her to a room in the east wing." Thranduil ordered without looking at me.
"Hannon le. (Thank you.)" I mumbled and wiped the evidence of my tears away with the back of my hand. Thranduil had already turned away when Voronwë placed a hand on my shoulder. I jolted, my head snapping back and my eyes meeting his as he gestured for me to follow him. I took a step back but turned my head towards Thranduil again who now had his back to me.
He had resumed a stoic stance in front of the throne, a hand covering his eyes as he seemed angry with his own display of emotions. It was not often that he allowed his emotions to get the better of him, even I knew that very well. But this had been needed. He had needed to yell at me, needed me to understand what I had done to him.
When I lingered, eyes still on him, he somehow felt it and straightened under my gaze while lowering his hand. "Elarinya, I have no more to say to you." Thranduil said, voice low and warning me not to do anything stupid before turning back around to face me. Our eyes met again, and I lowered my head to him. But it had been a mistake. The adrenaline had finally left my system, reminding me of the sharp pain emitting from my abdomen. Before lifting my head again, I pressed my hand to the wound under the cloak.
I must've winced because Thranduil arched a brow at me, eyes dipping to my side as if he knew. But I couldn't show this weakness. Thranduil took a step towards me when I turned away, clearly conflicted because he knew. He still managed to read me like an open book. But I would not let him see it.
Despite my stubbornness, I only managed a few steps before I staggered, my knees giving in under me, no longer able to carry my weight. I cried out when my knees buckled and dropped to the floor, slowly curling up to alleviate the pain shooting through my entire body. My forehead came to rest against the cold stone floor when both my arms wrapped around my abdomen. The pain was quickly spreading through me like a fire, reminding me of my very foolish choice.
Then someone knelt at my side, forcing me to sit back up. My eyes met Thranduil's before his eyes dipped to the wound on my side. I didn't have to look down to see what he saw when a frustrated groan let him. I had already felt the blood that had leaked through the bandages. "You're ridiculous—traveling with the wound in such a condition. How irresponsible must you be?" Thranduil scoffed when hooking and arm underneath my knees. The other rested around my shoulders as he lifted me up from the floor.
His eyes never left me. For the first time in many, many years, he truly looked at me. Thranduil excited the throne room while carrying me through the familiar halls. I saw a flash of the Thranduil I had known, and loved, in Forlindon. The very same Thranduil I had loved with all my heart—and still loved deep down. I dared smile when he yelled for a healer. He still cared about me, there was no denying that.
I exhaled in relief, falling limp in his arms before I allowed the darkness to take me completely. I was safe for the first time in years. But this would be no easy task for either of us. His love had turned to hatred, and I would most likely be the one to pay the price for that.