EIGHT
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* Trigger Warning. Sensitive subjects in this chapter*
Amelia Stark believed she knew pain when she woke all those months ago with no memory of who she was. She believed she knew pain as Strucker forced her to explore her abilities, as he trained her allowing his minions to beat her body black and blue. She thought she knew pain when she was ripped away from the only people she truly trusted and felt safe with. She thought she knew pain when she found herself face to face with her past, and the man responsible for the pain in her friends lives.
But nothing could have prepared the girl for the pain she currently faced. The blank stare on her face was unsettling, her attention focused on a single spot in the quinjet. Her cheeks were red and puffy, once covered in salty tears that she hoped, for a moment, would drown her. Her eyes were dark, the normal light green replaced with a dark almost muddy green. They were empty, hallow almost as if everything had been sucked away in a single moment.
In that moment, she truly believed everything had been.
Her heart ached painfully, yet she did her best to ignore the pain that didn't seem to leave. She did her best to push the memories away, struggling with the war in her head, the emotions begging to take over.
Death, she decided, would be the best option.
••••
Red paced the empty cell, flinching everytime a loud noise sounded from outside. Her eyes would dart to the door every few moments, worry and fear taking over as she waited. A single hand rested on the bump on her stomach, the fluttering bringing her only a fraction of comfort.
She was confused, had been for seven months now as Pierce seemed to leave her be. As he let her continue to carry a child as if it didn't prevent her from working. He kept her constantly locked down, The Winter Soldier the only one allowed to enter and exit besides the soldier who delivered her food. She didn't understand his intentions, and found herself more fearful as the days continued on.
Her eyes darted to the door again as Winter entered, his dark eyes immediately darting to her stomach. He moved in quick strides, his flesh hand finding home on the bump. The stood in silence as he caressed the bump, her watching him in fear and worry. He moved silently, leading her to the bed in the room. He laid down, his redhead laying beside him and bringing him comfort from his return from a mission. For a moment, the broken couple found their safe haven, the brief moment of believing everything was okay.
"What do you think the baby will be?" Amelia wondered after moments of silence, twisting to face him. Her green eyes peered up at him innocently, curiousity shinning brightly.
"A little girl just like you," he answered, sending her a smile, blue eyes shinnjng happily.
"What if it's a little boy just like you?" She whispered, smiling back. "With your blue eyes and dark hair. He'd be the most handsome baby ever."
He chuckled quietly, "or it could be our little princess with bright red hair like her mommy, with curls for miles and green eyes that twinkle when she's happy. The prettiest princess around."
"As long as he's healthy," Amelia mumbled, cheeks bright red as she ran her fingers along her bump. He coppied her actions, running his flesh hand along the bare skin of hef belly.
The stretch marks that covered her skin brought him a sense of pride, knowing she was carrying their baby. Every little movement they witnessed bringing happy tears to their eyes. Winter laughed happily as their baby kicked, the indention of his foot visible along her stomach. Her moved quickly, shifting so his face was level with her belly, placing a kiss along the skin. He whispered quietly, speaking wjth their baby and leaving tears in her eyes.
"Only a little longer bug," his voice was rough yet soothing as he spoke. "Then mommy and daddy can hold you tightly while we do everything in our power to protect you." Placing a kiss along her skin once again, winter laughed as their baby pushed against the spot, his tiny hand visible. "Dont be too harsh on mommy in there. We love you bunches bug. Daddy can't wait to hold you."
Moving back to her side, Amelia pushed herself forwards, meeting his lips in a quick kiss, "I love you."
"To the galaxy,"
"And back."
"Forever"
"And always."
••••
The farmhouse was large, Amelia looked up at it silently as she moved like a robot. She kept her emotions hidden, her face a blank canvas as she followed the others to their temporary safe haven. She ignored the eyes that followed her every movement, attention shifting around to take in everything, to scout for anything. A part of her mind screamed at her, the part that wanted her to speak and share her heartbreak. Yet the largest part of her fought against that small part. It warned her that telling and sharing would only create more problems. Would only make her a burden on those she found herself caring for. The larger part was winning.
The air seemed to be knocked from her lungs as they entered the house, her attention zeroing in on the woman who greeted Clint. The redhead found herself struggling to breath as she grew envious of the woman who supported a large bump. She was positively glowing, the smile on her face almost as blinding as the pregnant belly. Amelia tried to push the tears down, gulping loudly as she silently fought for air. For the first time in hours, an emotion was visible on the girls face as she began to panic.
Her heart thudded loudly in her ears, her hand reaching out without her permission, clutching onto the closest person available. She could hear nothing, only the rushing of the blood in her body. Tears slowly trickled down her cheeks, the redhead visibly breaking before their eyes. As her cries turned to sobs, the ugly green monster raised it's head, clawing to be released, and she was removed from the room.
Her envy and greed for the life Clint and his family had suffocated her, her sobs turning to wails. She could feel the hands on her, the body that held her close, and faintly she could hear sweet words being whispered in her ear. Yet she paid no attention, her heart being ripped from her chest the longer the memory continued to attack.
Remembering, she decided, was worse than forgetting.
••••
Red stepped closer to Winter, her stomach keeping a small amount of space between them. The assassin's held each other, caressing the skin they could reach. She yawned,the little energy she had for the day drained as the day neared its end. His stubble brushed against her forehead as he pressed a kiss there, smiling as she seemed to curl closer to him.
"I was thinking names," Red spoke, pulling back just enough to look up at him.
"We don't know what the baby is, we won't till the birth," He reminds her, eyes shifting between her and the bump that separates them.
"That is okay, we can get id-" her words die from her lips as their door opens, Pierce stepping in with a large amount of soldiers. Many step forward, restraining Winter who had moved to protect Red. The redhaired girl had watched in fear, hand resting protectively on her bump.
Pierce seemed to follow her motions, anger spreading across his face. "Lets get rid of this fucking thing before it fucks anything else up," He snarled, four of his men quickly restrained the girl.
She screamed in fear, fighting against the men to the best of her ability. The grunts of Winter filled her ears as he tried to fight back, watching with dread as she was dragged kicking and screaming from the room.
Red fought with all her strength, her screams intensifying as she was strapped down. Wails left her as she was prodded, intense pain wrecking havoc as cramp after cramp began. She grew weak, her struggling from the restraints slowing down until stopping completely. She openly wept with all the energy she had, an emptiness filling her as they took her light from her. She grew quiet, even her whimpers dying from her lips as they left her alone to lay in her blood, the remains of her child beside her on the table.
"Take her to be wiped completely," Pierce's voice was the first to penetrate her ears, a fresh wave of pain and anger attacking the weak girl. "I want her completely new, erase him from her mind."
She put up no fight, her eyes hallow and empty, much like she felt. She didn't fight as strangers touched her, cleaning her from their procedure. She didn't fight as she was wheeled from the room, the lights on the ceiling flickering by slowly as they wheeled her down the hall. She didn't fight as the contraption was pushed onto her head, a mouth guard shoved into her mouth. She didn't fight as the pain attacked her, the electrical charges nothing compared to the pain she felt in her heart. And as they erased every single aspect from her mind, she silently prayed to join her child. As quickly as possible.
••••
The first thing she noticed when she came through was how comfortable the bed she laid on felt. Then she could hear the screaming surrounding her, the argument that was occurring. She could smell food from wherever, her stomach protesting at the smell. She could feel the hand that held her own, the hand that ran through her hair effortlessly, and the hand that was tracing patterns in her arm. She could feel the pain return, the blissful moment of sleep leaving and allowing for the pain to settle once again. She could feel the heartache that seemed to intensify as his voice reached her ears.
Blinking rapidly, Amelia slowly adjusted to the light in the room, green eyes searching for him. For a moment, she needed his comfort, to know she wasn't alone in the pain she felt. He sat next to her, holding her hand with his flesh one, his eyes glued to their connected hands. "Bucky," she called his name softly, her throat sore.
His head darted up quickly, his blue eyes meeting her green ones. He visibly relaxed, sinking slightly in the chair before he shifted forwards. His metal hand shifted, allowing her to realize it was running through her hair carefully. "You're awake," He whispered, his voice soft as he watched her.
"Why is that always the first statement when one wakes up?" The redhead wondered, eyes moving from him and to the ceiling above her. The feeling of emptiness settled in once again, her eyes filling with tears as she squeezed his hand tightly. "She forced another memory," now her voice was a whisper, just like his only moments ago.
She could feel his eyes on her, his hand squeezing hers back but careful not to injure her, "from our time with hydra?"
She nodded, a single tear rolling down her temple to disappear into her hair. She turned her head so she could look at him, more tears beginning to fall, "They forced me into an abortion." His brows furrowed, his eyes conveying his confusion, until horror settled in him. He stepped away, his hands releasing hers as his metal one made home on the top of his head as he began to pace. From her wrods the others in the room frooze, the hand that had once been tracing patterns on her skin disappearing completely. The room fell silent, until the door slammed shut, the others disappearing silently.
"You were pregnant?" He was trying to wrap his head around it, a thousand different thoughts running through him as he tried to remember. He had been working hard to remember things from his life before hydra, and for once he wanted to remember something from his time at hydra that they had erased.
Amelia watched him through blurry eyes, her body aching in pain, "w-we were s-s-s-so ha-a-appy." She huccuped loudly, stuttering through her tears. "They ju-u-ust took the b-b-ba-a-aby." Curling into her self, the female laid in a ball on the bed, hugging herself as she openly wept. A crash startled her, making her curl up tighter, a single hand moving to her stomach as if to protect the child that was no longer there. She could hear his grunts of anger, more things being thrown around the room, before he screamed loudly, a single thump filling the room. Silence fell, her sobs all that were left, before his own seemed to reach her ears. She flinched as hands touched her, her green eyes wild as she looked up through her tears meeting his blue ones. He crawled onto the bed, hugging her closely as they cried over the life they didn't get to greet.
Neither paid attention to the door opening, the footsteps that filled into the room or the whispers that came. They simply held each other, sobbing over the child that was torn from them.