When You're Young
The next morning, I woke up and remembered what happened last night. Jinxx became my boyfriend.
The best night of my life.
“Hey, Dudes.” I said, walking out. I saw everybody but Jinxx and Andy.
“Where are the other two?”
“Outside.”
“Oh, hell no!”
“Relax. He’s just talking to him.” Jake said, sensing my fears.
“So, are you and Jinxx, like, a thing now?” Ash asked.
“I guess. He didn’t ask me to be his girlfriend or anything. It kind of just happened.”
“Well, at least you’re happy.”
I listened to the door of the bus open, following Andy and Jinxx.
“Oh, hey. You’re up.” Jinxx said. He came and kissed me in the most gentle way. I smiled into it, and Jinxx pulled me closer.
“If your going to suck face, go do it in a room.” Andy said, harshly.
Oh, yeah. He’s mad. Andy never gets mad. Especially at me or Jinxx. I really need to talk to him.
“Andy, can we talk?”
“Yeah.” I took him into the room we were sharing, and shut the door.
“What’s wrong?”
“I told you I didn’t want you to date Jinxx!”
“ANDY, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW HAPPY HE MAKES ME!!!!!”
“I CAN’T TAKE WATCHING THE TWO OF YOU MAKE OUT!”
“Please. Just…..” I wanted to cry really bad and when I did, Andy looked sad, immediately.
“I’m sorry. Don’t cry, Ash.” He hugged me, and rubbed my back. “Shh, don’t cry. I’m sorry.” I released from his embrace, and wiped my eyes.
“I just want you to be ok with it.” I sobbed.
“As long as you’re happy, I don’t care. Just please be careful, for me?”
“I promise, Andy. I will. Thank you. I love you.”
Andy smiled, and kissed my forehead.
“I love you, too. Never forget that.”
Jinxx’s Point of View:
Ashley came out with Andy about five minutes after she went in. She seemed happy. I’m guessing everything went well.
The rest of the day was just a lazy day since we didn’t have a show that night. We basically watched TV all day.
“Hey, do you guys want to watch a movie?” Andy asked, coming from his room into what we call our living room.
“Sure. What movie?” Ashley asked.
“Batman or all three Paranormal Activities.”
I love Paranormal Activity. It’s my favorite movie series.
“Paranormal Activity.” Ashley said.
“Kay. It’s your turn to choose, anyway.” Andy said. He put in the movie, and the first Paranormal Activity started playing.
Ashley was wrapped up in my arms with a small blanket covering us. She looked so cute as she was about to fall asleep.
“You want to go to sleep?” I whispered, stroking her shoulder blade.
“Not if you don’t want me to.” She smiled up at me beautifully, and I kissed her forehead.
“Go ahead. I’ll put you in your bed later.”
“Kay, thanks. I love you.” I grinned, and I swear, I couldn’t have been happier.
“I love you, too.” I decided to be a man, and kiss her on the lips. And then, I ended up holding her hand the whole time.
It was about three in the morning when the last movie ended. Everybody was sprawled out on the floor or the couch except me. Ashley was still safely in my arms when I lifted her up and brought her to her room.
Then, I went into my own room to at least try to get a good night’s sleep.
Ashley’s Point of View:
I woke up to find myself in the complete darkness of my room. I was all alone, and to be honest, I’m terrified of the dark and of being alone. Yeah, I’m an eighteen year old afraid of the dark. Plus, I hate being alone.
Me and Andy don’t share a room back at home, but his room is super close to mine. Jinxx was only a door away from me. I might as well just go stay with him. I don’t know how Andy will react to it, but I don’t really care, anymore. He can’t stop me from this.
I stood up quietly, and opened the door to Jinxx and CC’s room. I noticed Jinxx was still awake.
“Hey, Baby. What’s wrong?” Jinxx asked.
“Nothing. Just couldn’t sleep. What’s wrong with you?”
“Same. Do you want to hang out for a little bit?”
“Sure.” I sat on his bed beside him, and glanced over at CC sleeping.
“You want to talk a little?” Jinxx whispered.
“What do you want to talk about?”
“Whatever you want.”
“Can we talk about you?” I asked, trying to be cute.
“What about me?”
“Just…stuff. I’ve known you for eight years, but I don’t know that much about you,”
“Ok, well, I’m 21, my birthday is January 7th, I have a younger sister named Autumn and an older brother named Travis, I grew up in Iowa, I’ve been playing the guitar since I was four, my real name is Jeremy, and I hate it.” I laughed a little.
“Well, I’m 18, 19 in two weeks, Andy’s my only sibling as far as I know, I was born in Wisconsin and grew up in Ohio, then moved here, I can sing, my middle name is Legacy, but I wish it was my first name.”
“Oh, cool. Like the BVB song.”
“Yep. That’s where Andy got the name from. I was in his room harassing him when he was writing it.” Jinxx laughed a little.
“Very cute. Did you know I wrote the lyrics and the music for “Saviour”?”
“No, but I love that song. That and “Carolyn” help me through a lot of stuff.”
“Well, that makes me feel good.”
I smiled, and glanced at the time.
“I have a question?”
“What’s up?”
“Can I stay with you tonight? I know Andy might not love the idea, but I don’t even care what he thinks, anymore.”
“It’s fine with me. You want to go to bed now?”
“Sure.”
Jinxx turned his lamp off and laid down beside me.
“I hope none of the guys think anything if they see us.” I said.
“They probably will. And then it’ll get back to Andy, and I get murdered in my sleep.” I laughed.
“Oh, shut up. I would stop him before he could do something to you.”
Jinxx’s Point of View:
I smiled after Ashley said that. I can’t believe how hard I had fallen for her. Now she’s my girlfriend.
Her back was facing me so I wrapped my arms tightly around her waist and loosely around her neck to keep her close.
Ashley’s Point of View:
This safe feeling came over me. It was the safest I’ve felt in a long time. I mean, I normally feel safe, but I feel safest around the guys.
I’ve been raised by Andy ever since I was ten, but he’s been babysitting me since I was like five. I got to hear a real, full, finished Black Veil Brides song when Andy had to take me to band practice with him. I totally fell in love when I heard “Hello My Hate” and “The Gunsling.”
I walked with Andy into Jake’s house.
“Oh, hey, Ash.” Jake said.
“Hey. So what can I do?”
“Just sit and watch. Don’t cause any trouble.” Andy said, and kissed my forehead. I rolled my eyes.
“I’m fine. Go. It’s not like you can’t see me. I’m just going to talk to Chris.”
“Ok. Tell him I said hi.”
“Sure.” I sat on the floor, and took out my phone.
I heard the beat start and Andy start singing “Hello My Hate.”
“Hello my love. Good riddance and farewell to you. This marks the day we met on your terms. Hello my hate. This marks the day I killed you. So cuddle, make your bed, we broke the ice, you’re only dead and…
I don’t want to be! Another dead-weight victim of love tragedy and. I don’t want to be! Another look-like-James Dean-punk trippin’ sanity and. I don’t want to be! Another striaight-edge, poser preachin’. Let’s be smoke free! Cause all I want to be. Is another who cares-shot dead- kid I’m going down, down, down.
I actually started listening. It was pretty sick, so after practice, I asked Andy if I could go to band practice every week. And I did.
In the morning, I woke up in the same position I fell asleep in except Jinxx wasn’t there. I curiously got up and saw all of the guys sitting in the living room area.
“Oh, hey. Look who’s finally awake.” Ash said, being a jerk off.
“Shut up, Ash.”
“Oooh, someone’s in a good mood.”
“Oh, Ash. Don’t be jealous I got her before you did.” Jinxx said.
“Well, I’m not loving you too much, either. Why’d you leave me?”
“Sorry. I had to get up. I’m a morning person.”
“Ok. You’re forgiven.” I sat beside him, and rested my head on his chest.
“So what time does the show start tonight?” I asked.
“Eight.” Andy answered.
Jinxx’s Point of View:
I was putting on my War Paint for the show, while Ashley sat texting someone. Most likely Chris. But I had a serious question for her.
“Hey, Ash?”
“Yeah?”
“We’re…boyfriend and girlfriend, right?” I asked.
For some reason, I had been doubting it. Only because we hadn’t made it official. I didn’t really think we had to, but I guess we do.
“Of course. I thought we were.”
“We are. But I was just making sure because we didn’t make it official or anything.” Ashley stood up, and came behind. She wrapped her arms around my waist, and rested her head on my shoulder.
“I love you.” She said.
“I love you, too. Maybe a little more than you love me.”
“Not possible.” I laughed, and had the worst urge to kiss her.
Ruining the moment, the door swung open. Ashley let go of me when she saw who it was. Andy.
“Hey, sound check time.” Ashley went to go sit again, but I motioned for her to come with us.
She stood up, and I took her hand. We walked through the dark paths that led to the stage. It was sort of romantic, but Andy was there.
“Wait.” I whispered. I stopped Ashley, and kissed her, sweetly. Right there. When we broke, she had the most gorgeous smile on her face.
When we reached the stage, Ashley sat down on the side. She was so pretty. She had her BVB shirt on, black and blue tie-dye jeans, knee-high Converse that had straps all over them, then all her BVB jewelry including bracelets and necklaces. Her long hair was straight until the bottoms when it turned into her natural curls. She also had a pink and black bow pinned to the side of her head. Her eyes had black eye liner and black eye shadow on them.
Ashley was really beautiful and she had some of the same features as Andy. They both had ice blue eyes and deep black hair. Except, Andy’s hair is died black and Ashley’s is natural.
Coming out of my daze, I plugged my guitar into the amp and played the first few chords of “Perfect Weapon.” Then, I played the same thing, but slower.
About an hour later, it was time for the show. We played “New Religion”, “Set The World On Fire”, “Fallen Angels”, “Legacy”, “The Morticians Daughter”, “Perfect Weapon”, “Knives and Pens”, “Rebel Love Song”, “A Devil For Me”, “Youth and Whisky”, and “Ritual.”
Afterwards, we went back to the bus with nothing to do. Plus, it was like FREEZING! We were in WashingtonD.C. at the moment.
“Hey, I got an idea!” Ash shouted, shooting up from his seat on the couch.
“What is it?” I asked. Ashley’s plans are normally weird and wrong, so I was curious.
“We could play truth or dare.” He said.
“Oh, God.” I stated.
“What?” Ash asked, offended.
“There’s only one girl.”
“So?”
“DAN.GER.OUS!!” Andy exclaimed.
“I promise I’ll be good.” Ash said.
“And, Andy, I’m eighteen, remember?” Ashley said.
“Ok, fine. But nothing sick or weird.” Andy warned.
“Ok, fine.”
All six of us sat on the floor in a circle, and Ashley sat beside me.
“Ok, CC, truth or dare?” Ash inquired.
“…..Dare.” Oh, shit.
“Rate Ashley on a scale from 1-10.”
“ Ten!”
“Oh, thanks, CC.” Ashley said, sarcastically.
“Alright, Jake. Truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
“Ok…who here out of us dudes would you kiss?”
“Dude! None of you!”
“I’m not telling you to actually do it! Just say who.”
“Fine…um…I guess…Andy.”
“Really?” Andy exclaimed.
“Oh, shut up. I just said one of your names randomly.”
“Oh, and it just had to be me?!”
I loved doing stuff like this. I always get good laughs out of it.
All through the night we played. Laughing and doing stupid things we were dared to do. At about three in the morning, we started getting bored.
“Oh, I know what I want.” Ash said, standing up. He went to his room and ran out with a bottle of whisky.
Ashley’s Point of View:
I saw a bottle of whisky in Ash’s hand. I’ve never had alcohol in my life. I couldn’t, anyway. It’s illegal! But is everything I do legal?
Andy started drinking before he was twenty-one….
”You want to try it?” Andy asked.
“Yeah, right. I’m not getting drunk.”
“Alright. Good choice, little sis.” Andy said, and pat my head.
Andy smokes, too, but not that much. And never when I’m around or if their at a show. He cares too much for his fans to let them get sick from cigarette smoke.
That I’ve never tried, either. I don’t necessarily want to.
The following morning, I woke up and found CC laying on the floor. Oh, yeah. Their hung over.
“They got it bad.” I turned around, startled, and seen Jinxx.
“Oh, it’s just you. And yeah, they do.”
“No, it’s Batman.” Jinxx said, sarcastically.
“DID I HEAR BATMAN?!?!” Andy screamed, sitting up.
“No. Go back to sleep.”
“Ok.” He got up and walked into the room me and him were supposed to share.
Later on that evening the guys had a show that I didn’t go to because 1. I was exhausted, and 2. I had a migraine. Andy and CC were still a little hung over, but not so bad they couldn’t take the noise. See? That’s why I don’t drink.
The music from the venue was so loud I could hear it from inside the bus! But I’m so used to it.
Unexpectedly, my phone started playing the song that comes on when Andy texts me which is “The Change” by Evanescence.
Andy- Hey it’s Ash. Listen, Andy decided 2 do one of his “ninja moves” on stage, and he really hurt himself. He finished the show, but he doesn’t look so good. Jake and CC are going to take him to the hospital, and me and Jinxx will stay with u. Don’t worry too much. Andy says he loves u.
Just then, Ash and Jinxx almost RAN on to the bus. “You get my text?” Ash asked. “Yeah, just now. What happened?” “Andy hung on one of these things hanging from the stage and he fell right on his face during “Sweet Blasphemy.” It looked like it hurt, so after the song, we asked him if he was ok, and he said it really hurt, but he wanted to finish the show.” Jinxx explained.
My head just fell into my hands. Why is Andy such an idiot sometimes? He thinks he’s freaking Batman! I really hope he’s alright.
I had stayed up all night, waiting for any news on Andy. Me, Jinxx, and Ash are going to see him tomorrow first thing in the morning.
I was laying in my own bunk, listening to my iPod. The one Andy bought me for my 12th birthday. The song “Anywhere” by Evanescence was playing. I glanced back at Andy’s bunk. I wished he was there. I wished we were sitting there talking like we do back at home. I wished that everything was alright.
I was too worried about Andy, and I knew he had his phone, so I decided to text him.
Ashley- Hey. U alright?
About a minute later, I got a response.
Andy- Hey little sister. Yeah, I guess. The doctors said I broke three ribs. They had to wrap them. Is everything ok over there?
Ashley- Oh, my, God. R u gonna be able 2 sing? Yeah, everything’s alright. The guys are taking care of me.
Andy- Good. Tell them what I just told you. And CC and Jake r on their way back.
Ashley- Kk. Miss u
Andy- J Miss you 2. It’s so boring in here. I’m sitting in the dark.
Ashley- Can I stay up and text u?
Andy- U should sleep. I love u 2 death, but the guys are gonna wake u up early tomorrow 2 come see me.
Ashley- Ik. And I’m not necessarily a morning person.
Andy- Lol. Ur finally admitting it.
Andy and I texted a little more until it got really late, and Jinxx came into my room. “Hey, you want to come to bed?”
Well, I definitely wasn’t going to sleep alone. “Yeah, I’ll be there in a sec.” “Alright.”
I said good night to Andy, changed into my night clothes, and went into Jinxx and CC’s room.
Jinxx and CC share a room, me and Andy share a room, and Jake and Ash share a room.
“Hey, Baby Girl.”
Whenever Jinxx calls me something gushy like that, I get all excited. “Hey, Little Biersack. Did you hear about Andy?” “Yep.” I was on the verge of crying my eyes out. But I held it back just to be strong even though nor Jinxx or CC would mind if I cried. They’d just comfort me. “Sorry, Angel.” Jinxx said, sympathetically and rubbed my back. “You can cry, Ash. It’s ok.” CC spoke in almost a whisper.
I noticed he wasn’t acting hyper and crazy like usual. I didn’t want to cry, but I really had to. Jinxx wrapped his arms around me, and held me against his chest as I cried. CC came and sat on the other side of me.
I was only crying because Andy is my only brother, and I love him just as much as I love the guys. Their my whole life! Their basically my parents. When I’m upset, they know how to cheer me up. When I get in trouble, they back me up.
Andy wasn’t there, but I still had CC, Jinxx, Ash, and Jake. The other four most important people in my life. “Hey, Ash. It’s ok.”
Jinxx’s Point of View:
I held Ashley in my arms, and let her cry. I rubbed her back and tried to make her feel better. But she’s so vulnerable.
I heard Jake and Ash walk into the room. They gave me a “what-the-hell” look. “Andy.” I mouthed. Jake nodded, understanding. I mean, we love Andy just as much. He’s like my brother.
“Ash, you alright?” Jake asked. “Oh, yeah, Jake. I’m just great. My brother broke three ribs and he could’ve killed himself.” She cried a little harder, and I made a mental note to myself to never let Jake try to comfort Ashley.
Finally, she stopped crying, but she stayed in my arms. “You feel better?” I asked. She just nodded against my chest, and wiped her eyes.
After that, she sat in my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck. I held her by her waist, and kissed her forehead. I hate seeing her upset. I just want it all to be better. I’m not going to let her sleep alone tonight, either. I have to be there for her. Andy told me to take care of her, but I would’ve taken care of her, anyway.
Soon enough, she fell asleep on me. “You finally calmed her down.” CC whispered. “Yeah. Thank God.” “Why do you think she gets so upset?” “Because Andy is her only brother, their extremely close, and he’s raised her basically since she was nine. Come on, CC. We were there for almost all of it. He wouldn’t go to band practice without her. Their parents aren’t around anymore. They think since she’s eighteen she can take care of herself, but she’s still young and she needs someone to help her out.”
“That’s us.” CC stated, quietly. “Exactly. Who else beside Andy and Chris?” I glanced down at her. She’s always been cute when she sleeps. “Do you want me to bring her in her room?” Jake asked. “No, it’s ok. Just let her sleep in here tonight.” I laid Ashley down on the bed, and talked to CC a little more until he decided to go to sleep as well as me.
Ashley’s Point of View:
I remembered what had happened before I fell asleep. I grabbed my iPod and turned to my playlist named ‘Comfort Songs.’ They were the songs I listen to when I’m upset or just feel crappy. The first song to come on was “When You’re Young” by 3 Doors Down. I closed my eyes, and listened to the lyrics closely.
So far away from knowing where I am going
I am trying hard to find out who I am
They all say that I don't know what I am doing
I say they don't hardly understand
Why can't they remember
What I'll never forget
How these dreams can come undone
When you're young
You give what you give cause they make you
Trapped inside a place that won't take you
And they want you to be what they make you
It's already over and done
When you're young
Everything seems perfect
Everything's ok
It will all get better now
At least that's what they say
But I don't see it coming
You give what you give cause they make you
Trapped inside a place that won't take you
And they want you to be what they make you
It's already over and done
When you're young
Days never seem longer
They say it's better this way
I hope one day I am stronger than I feel
And I hope that it feels different than today
Every time I listened to that song I thought about school. I thought about being bullied. I thought about Andy and how he guided me in right direction of life.
Before I fell asleep, I clicked the REPEAT button, and wrapped myself up in Jinxx’s embrace.