"You came out of nowhere
Stealing my heart and brain
Flaming my every cell
You make me feel myself"
~*~
I hate surprises.
I always have and I most likely always will. Call me controlling but I absolutely hate not knowing things down to the very last detail. This made me quite a nosy person which I'll admit is not one of my more lovable traits but it's just the way I was. So when my sister came barging in my room at a time too early for any normal human to function, on a Sunday nonetheless, and demanded that I get out of my bed so she could take me out for an entire day of shopping but refused to tell me what for, my reluctance was called for. I obviously put up a fight but clearly not a very good one, proven by the fact that I was standing in the, completely showered and dressed waiting for the she-demon who was taking ridiculously long for someone who claimed we had no time for breakfast.
I, just like everyone else in the world, have made some questionable decisions in my life, just like everyone else. Some of them may have been quite big, some absolutely meaningless others just plain stupid. Like the one I made today morning to listen to the nutcase, whom I call my sister. Her persuasion skills are deadly.
Seeing how I was only told that we were going shopping, I had decided on high waisted shorts along with white tank top and a maroon leather jacket. An outfit that would be relatively easy to slip in and out of which, knowing Cat and I, would need to be done a lot. You see, if there's one of the few things my sister and I have in common, it's our addiction to shopping. In fact we tended to go slightly overboard with all the things we bought, which is why I was almost completely sure that Liam would be coming with us, even if it meant dying of boredom he would do it to keep us in check with all our experience, I'd say we had mastered the art of minimizing our expenditure while still getting the best outfits and a lot of those too. Although this required us to walk way too much but hey, I'm not complaining! It's probably the closest thing to exercise we'll ever willingly take part in.
"Earth to Emma. You there, sis?" Liam asked dangling the car keys in front of my face. "I'll be joining you two because I'm a good brother who wants to spend time with his little sisters," he states innocently as he starts the car.
I rolled my eyes, "How do you look so innocent while blatantly lying to my face?" I question getting into the car as well,
"Being a teacher has its perks," he says as he waves to Mrs. Beverly, our elderly neighbor, "Those little demons get away with all sorts of things just by smiling," he grumbled to himself. I laughed at his misery, even though I know he doesn't really mean
just as Cat made her appearance as well. Even the girl who practically lives in mini skirts and heels had been smart enough to opt for denim cut-offs and a tank top paired with ballet flats while still looking runway ready. I honestly don't know how she does it.
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Cathy: Let's buy that dress just so we can burn it. No one should even have to look at that.
Liam: You look like brighter than the sun and not in a good way.
Cathy: That dress definitely makes shows the fat you don't even have."
Liam: It looks like someone dumped a bucket of glue on you and made you jump in a dumpster.
Cathy: That looks...nice if I tilt my head and close one eye...and shut the other.
Liam: Why did we come to the mall if you just want to wear a potato sack.
Cathy: You're dressed like we're sending you to the church.
Liam: You look like a prostitute.
Cathy: A nun would tell you to show a little more skin.
Liam: Change out of that dress before I toss you over my shoulder and ship you off to a convent.
These were just some of the comments I received for the dresses I tried on. Dresses that I hadn't even chosen. Cathy insulted Liam's choices and Liam insulted Cathy's but they - and by 'they' I mean Cathy- wouldn't even let me look around claiming that I didn't know what I was dressing for.
For the first time in a long time, even my brother wasn't on my side. Apparently, if he didn't tell me what this dreaded event was and managed to keep it a secret long enough, he didn't have to attend. Freaking Traitor.
"Guys, can I at least have a hint?"
They hesitated. Or at least Cathy did; Liam just looked bored.
"A party," she stated finally stated, "We're going out for a party."
Right, sure. Because we go dress shopping every time we attend a party. What even?
"What kind of party is it that I can't just wear one of the many, many dresses in my closet?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow at her.
"Um..." she hesitated again, "It's a cocktail party," She took a deep breath before continuing, "It'sacocktailpartyhostedbeJennifernnifertopromotehernewlineandIknowyou wouldntwanttogobutIpromisedTiathatI'llgetyouwhichiswhyIdidntellyouandyouhavetogobecauseit'sforagoodcausesincealltheprofitsaregoingtocharity," She said all in one breath making my head spin.
"Jennifer? Like Jennifer King?" I asked in a surprisingly calm tone. "And son meaning..."
She simply nodded before swiftly taking cover behind Liam, whose eyes widened before he stepped away.
"Cats, you know I love you but I'd much rather not be a hurdle in the path of Emma's fury." he patted her back "It was nice knowing you." he said with pity while Cathy trembled in fear.
I rolled my eyes. Sure I wasn't exactly happy, scratch that I was very unhappy but it didn't mean I was going to kill someone. Even though I really wanted to. I let out a light laugh at their terrified faces. When they realized I wasn't going to attack them, they stopped cowering and gave me questioning looks.
"Can we please hurry this up?" I ask looking to both of them.
Liam rolls his eyes, "Yeah, because Emma's got somewhere to be on a day she doesn't have work." he says sarcastically with a snort.
I smiled a genuine smile at him not even bothered by his comment. "I do actually."
Cathy let out a gasp "OHMIGOSHOHMIGOSHOHMIGOSH" she squealed before pointing to me, "Look at that smile! Little Emmy has a date!" she practically screamed in my ear.
"No, I do not." I replied, "I'm just hanging out with a friend. Also, why do you call me that? I'm older than you."
"Lies! Look at the way your eyes are twinkling! There's no way this isn't a date"
"Okay, Cats. Whatever you say." I decided to give in because there is no winning an argument when it comes to her. It was either agree with her or argue hours on end.
She fist pumped before asking me who he was and whether she knew him or not, followed by a bunch of questions I'd rather not repeat.
"His name is Tyler and I don't think you know him. I'm not answering any of the other questions."
After awhile of pestering, she finally got the hint and gave up with her questioning. After which she huffed dramatically and sat in corner of the store, ignoring me.
I rolled my eyes before getting up and walking around the store. Mrs. King a very nice lady. She was also a big name in the fashion industry for her work. Her designs were absolutely stunning and she deserved every bit of fame she got, but she couldn't be more down to earth about it. I'd spoken to her a couple of times when she'd been over at our house to visit Tia. The two were high school best friends who reunited a while back. Although the few years they spent apart had done nothing to weaken their friendship. In fact, it was probably the reason they were so inseparable. The things I would do for a friendship like that. I mean sure I have tons of friends but none of them who I actually talk to and count on to be there for me. At least, not anymore.
Now that I think about it, I've never really had proper girl-friends. I don't know what it's like to have sleepovers and give each other makeovers or stay up late talking about guys. I knew a bunch of girls back in high school but I wish I didn't. I only knew them because of my position as co-captain in the school dance team. If it weren't for that, I'm almost certain none of even spare me a glance and even if they did, it would only be to feed my insecurities just to get rid of theirs just like the did to so many other girls- and boys- who were victim to their vicious schemes and malicious words. It was absolutely revolting. We just acknowledged each others' presence and I would never willingly spend more time with them than what was necessary.
Although, I think my lack of friends is-unintentionally-all my fault. I've never been one to let people get close to me. I've always made sure that no one can see past the emotional barrier that is my smile.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I distractedly ran my hand along the soft fabric of the dresses hanging on a rack like I'd been doing for awhile now, casually pulling out dresses not actually looking at what I had pulled out before returning it. I continued doing this for a while as the other two continued with their bickering until I felt a presence behind me.
I sighed "What do you want, Liam?"
"Actually, my name's Benjamin."
My smile immediately disappeared. I actually felt my body freeze and my eyes widen. No. Freaking. Way.
I spun on my heel, and sucked in a sharp breath of disbelief "Ben," even I could hear how flustered and out of breath I sounded and to be honest, at that moment, I didn't care. I stood there shell shocked and my mind reeling.
"Hey, Em," it made me feel the slightest bit better that he sounded just as breathless as me. Yeah, I'm sick like that.
I was still frozen in place and I felt like someone had delivered a hard blow to my gut making me want to just sink to the floor and curl into a little ball. I was absolutely speechless which I thought was completely acceptable when you were seeing someone after as long as I was seeing Jackson. It's hard going from being inseparable to a frosty silence. We had a connection, a warm and comforting one, but now all that's left between us is broken promises and cold air.
The second I made that realization, I felt it.
Rage
Pure, unadulterated rage coursing through my veins.
I backed away from him like he'd burned me. I didn't miss the hurt that flashed on his face but I did nothing to make it better. It's not like he was there for me when I was hurting, which is exactly what made me hurt even more.
"Emma, please, I can -"
"Explain? I'm sure you can Benjamin" I spat his name like it was poison on my tongue, "But honestly I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear anything from you. Oh wait, why do I have to tell you that? You've already got that covered, don't you? 18 months, Ben. 18 freaking months. 18 months of silence. 18 months of waiting for a single phone call or even just a simple 'Hey, I'm okay' text. 18 months of staying up late and wondering what was happening to you. 18 months of blaming myself for your absence. 18 months of being left in the dark about anything to do with you. 18 months of hoping you were still alive. I let out a humorless laugh "So much for 18 years worth of friendship, huh?"
My heart was beating so hard, I was almost sure everyone could hear it.
He didn't try to interrupt me, even though I knew he had something to say. A pissed-off Emma is not someone to be messed with and he of all people knew that. I'd actually feel sorry for him if I wasn't so mad. It was a little tiring, to be honest, being so angry with him after seeing him after almost a year and a half. Especially since all I wanted to do was fall into his arms and cry, telling him how much I missed him.
I think he sensed my moment of weakness because he stepped forward and wrapping his arms around me.
Just because I was tired of being angry, doesn't mean I'm just going to stop.
I put up a fight. I thrashed in his arm, pounding his chest and screaming at him to let me go but he only held me tighter and I gave in. I fell limp against him and let the tears that I had been holding onto fall free and let him stroke my hair, whispering that he was here and everything would be okay again.
We stood like that in a peaceful bubble, unaware of the outside world. A while had passed before he stopped stroking my hair, making me frown. God help me, I sound so hopelessly clingy. He didn't let me protest. He only gently raised my chin, to meet his striking mossy green eyes that pierced into my hazel ones that were no doubt still glassy. He continued to stare into my eyes but his gaze was searching. Almost as if he could read my every thought and emotion just by staring long enough.
As if satisfied with what he found, his scrutinizing gaze settled into one of a mixture of satisfaction and joy.
"Emma," he whispered, "I've missed you so much, Starshine."
I want to tell him that I missed him too. I want to ask him where he's been and why he's only now. Whether he's thought about me like I've thought about him or if he'd forgotten about me completely.
I want to ask him all of that and so much more. But I can't. Because my mind goes haywire as his lips come down on mine.
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(A/N): I like this chapter a little but ugh still so short.
So what do you guys think of Ben? Like honest opinion because I'd love to know!
Also up to this point in time are you guys for Tyler or Ben? Let me know!
Oh and before I forget (even though I'm pretty sure that's impossible), #150 in Chicklit?? Is this for real? I'm so so so happy! You guys rock!
Please vote and comment!
Lots of love!
~~ Song Credits: M83 - Reunion ~~