I simply stood there, watching as she wept. My feet were nailed to the floor, held there by some invisible force. I was unable to move, to comfort her, to say it's going to be alright. Not that words could have formed with the lump constricting my throat. Not that I could have made my way to her, with the tears clouding my eyes. I was helpless, she was helpless, we were helpless. All around us the city burned and yet we could not move. Fear had come and passed yet the sadness, that heavy blanket of sorrow, it still remained.
The first explosions hadn't even been the worst of it. The people caught in the blast were the lucky ones, wiped out in a matter of moments. The others, caught in burning homes, suffocated by smoke and ash, they were still luckier than others. It was those who could do nothing but stand idly by, watching as their loved ones burned to death that I did not envy. I suppose I had been spared that part for I had been in my basement when the shockwave struck, bringing with it the fires of hell itself. I couldn't even find my family when I went searching. That may have been the most awful part. Trying to find those you cared about most. Trying and then failing. Just dust and ashes remained, not even a sole reminder of what had once been. A sharp crack split the air to my right, shattering my thoughts. I instinctively dove over Mia, sheltering her from the embers and splinters that scattered out from a falling beam. My vision all but disappeared as a cloud of thick ash was kicked up, creating an impenetrable void that threatened to devour all in its path. We weathered the storm, our breath held and eyes firmly shut, allowing the dust time to settle before even attempting the tiniest peek. It wasn't long before I released Mia from the bear hug I had enveloped her in, deeming it was once again relatively safe. But for how much longer? I wondered, fearing the rest of the walls would come crumbling down any minute.
"Come on," I whispered, afraid any loud noises could trigger an avalanche of wood and plaster. "We have to get out of here,"
"And go where?" Mia snapped, her voice like a dagger even at its low volume.
"Anywhere but here," I said, trying to keep my voice mellow.
"What good will that do? We will just get ourselves killed," she retorted, sending ash flying from her hair as she spun her head towards me. Icy blue eyes bore into me, as if the whole mess was my fault.
"And staying here won't do the same? There must be rescue crews out there and they won't find us if we just hide in this crumbling building. We have a better chance of survival if we start moving,"
For a time there was silence between us, the world around us eerily still. Car and house alarms no longer blared and explosions no longer rocked the ground beneath our feet. There were no more sounds to remind us that we were still standing in a city that had been thriving only a day before. I wondered if there was even anything left at ground zero, or just mounds of dust, occasionally tossed by the wind.
The wandering of my mind was ceased by a heavy sigh that erupted from Mia, sounding much more intense in the relative quiet. I hoped it had been a sigh of defeat, rather than frustration for we couldn't afford to argue. A bad feeling was growing in my gut, twisting and churning, telling me we had to go. I agreed with it whole-heartedly.
"Fine," Mia began, the sharpness gone from her voice. "I guess you are right, you are always right,"
I attempted a feeble grin as I held out my hand, offering to help her up. Mia tried to match my smile as she took my hand but all that resulted was a fresh stream of tears that drew lines in the dirt that covered her face. I quickly pulled Mia into an embrace, wrapping my arms around her trembling body, trying to squeeze out the fear and dismay that gripped her.
"We are going to make it," I whispered into her ear, my lips brushing against her hair. "We have to, for Mum and Dad,"
The brown strands of Mia's hair tickled my skin as she nodded, her body shuddering as she held back a sob. I held her tighter as more tears flowed, giving her time to regain control. A few moments later I released her, returning my arms to my sides.
"Alright," I said, my voice barely audible. "Time to go,"
My sister gave me a shallow nod, the tracks from her tears glistening as the moonlight passed across her face. Her deep blue eyes glimmered in the light but they lacked the fire they usually possessed. The hollowness tore at me, pulling at my heartstrings, silently asking why I could not rekindle their flames.
"Are we going to get moving?" Mia demanded, once again tearing me from my thinking, returning my mind to reality.
I simply nodded as I turned towards the front door of our home, or at least what was left of it. I wasn't sure why I felt like I had to use it, since there were many gaping holes in the walls around us. It just seemed right. Stepping through the threshold I received my first whiff of death and destruction. Out in the open the smell of scorched earth was thick in the air, nearly suffocatingly so. As difficult as it was to stomach, I wasn't about to let a smell hamper our survival.
Venturing out into the street was easier than I expected, aside from the horrific odour that hung in the air. The street was just as empty as it had been before, just grey cement with the husks of burned out cars parked at either side. All the houses were charred and crumbling, the supports weakened by the fires. Most were unrecognizable, their colours blackened by the flames and most of the structure collapsed. Seeing my home in such ruin made me feel like I was being crushed by a giant wave. It knocked the wind from my chest and drowned me in a sea of hopelessness. How did we even survive? I wondered as I gazed upon the gloomy street, illuminated by small fires dotting the many houses.
I quickly glanced backwards, making sure that Mia was close behind me, before I began navigating the ashy road. Clouds of black and grey particles floated into the air with each step that I took, making me feel as if I were a ghost, floating above the ground. It was akin to a living nightmare, walking through a destroyed version of my hometown, passing by the husk of a neighbour’s house, trying to forget those who died inside. With each step I felt like I died little by little, slowly whittling away at my very existence. What point in living was there, if there was nothing left? For Mum and Dad, I reminded myself, adding a little more purpose to my leaden footsteps.
“Thomas?” Mia squeaked, her voice breaking the silence.
“Yeah?” I answered, barely even turning my head backwards. I didn’t need to see what lay behind me, nor did I want to.
“That’s Rachel’s house there. Could we . . .” she trailed off as a sob caught her throat. This time I stopped. It was important.
“Sure, but we can’t stay too long. I’m not sure how long any of these buildings will stay standing. We go in, look around then go, alright?” I replied, turning towards a shattered home, pitch black and falling apart. The windows on the remaining walls were shattered, either by the shockwave or by an attempted escape. The front door was gone, along with the entire wall, bricks and wood lying in a heap within the house. I carefully picked my way over the rubble, finding secure places for my feet while making sure the structure around me wasn’t about to fall.
Clambering over the remains of the wall we made our way into the main foyer of the home, immediately beginning our search. Mia rushed into the living room, a trail of ash scattering behind her. I slowly made my way into the kitchen, carefully testing my every step. I didn’t want to fall through a weak floorboard, creating another problem that we did not need. The state of the kitchen, at least I thought it was the kitchen shocked me. It resembled the night sky more than it did a place of food preparation. The walls were dotted with white points, what I guessed was the remnants of paint, looking like stars painted upon a black canvas. I almost didn’t notice the charred body lying hunched over what must have been the stove, holding a steel pot against a burner. Covering my mouth and nose I inched forwards, driven by curiosity, my heart picking up in pace. My stomach slowly wrenched as I neared the corpse, and it became harder to move closer, my feet refusing to step forwards.
“Tom! Tom-Tom-Tom! Come here!” Mia shrieked, nearly sending my head through the ceiling. Spinning on my heels I sprinted to the living room, ignoring any kind of caution. I entered the room, a once beautiful space with a ruined piano tucked against the far wall. I spotted my sister, hunched over a charred carcass, sobs wracking her body.
“Why? Why wasn’t she lucky like us? Why didn’t she survive? Why isn’t there anybody else?” Mia howled, slamming her fists against the floor.
“I don’t know,” was all I had to offer, a lame consolation for her woes. I gave her a few more moments to grieve before I continued, “We found Rachel, now we can’t do anything for her. We have to move,”
“How can you be so heartless?” she shot back, striking me with a glare, her eyes red and puffy.
“I’m sorry but I can’t allow us to waste time. We are going to get rescued if it’s the last thing I do,” I growled, my fuse running low.
Mia just stared at me after that, a battle clearly raging within her. Why was it so hard for her to just listen to me? After a short while she sent another glower my way and rose, brushing the ash from her jeans. I gave her a shallow nod as I turned, heading for the pile of rubble that was our exit.
For a long period we traversed the barren road in silence, simply trudging towards my dimming hope for salvation. The black clouds above us shifted between shades as we travelled, occasionally burning a bright orange from a fire that raged beneath it. Aside from the flames that danced about ruined homes the world was still, and frighteningly so. In the hours that passed we had not met any other survivors, not a single person. I refused to believe that we were the only ones, it’s impossible, I would tell myself. There must be someone. Holding on to that faint wish, I marched on trying to lead us to safety.
I didn’t even recognize the sound when I heard it. A soft humming, like the sound of a washing machine during a rinse cycle. At first I ignored it, solely concentrating on moving forwards. It was Mia who called out, pointing and jumping.
“A helicopter! Look Thomas!” she called out, her pitch rising with glee. My eyes instantly darted towards the sky, searching for the aircraft against the bleak sky. At first I couldn’t see it. I squinted and craned my neck but to no avail.
“You’re looking the wrong way idiot,” my sister sniggered, as she grabbed my arm and pointed it in the direction of the helicopter. I looked up into the sky once again, this time directed straight at our flying deliverance. The flashing red and blue lights filled my eyes, bringing with them a flood of relief that coursed through my veins, relaxing my mind and body. We were saved.
“Hey! HEY! Down here! HEY!” I shouted, the strain tearing at my raw throat, already sore from the smoke and ash. The more pain I felt the harder I screamed, not giving up until I received a response. Mia joined in, waving her arms and calling, also very eager for rescue.
After what felt like an age of shouting, the helicopter turned, dipping the massive rotor blades to the right as it spun a spotlight down over us. I spotted a red cross painted on the aircraft’s side, and a man in army fatigues waving out of the passenger compartment. He wore a blue helmet, a welcome dash of colour against an entirely grey backdrop. He was saying something into the megaphone he carried but it was drowned out by my pure elation.
The world seemed to slow down as the helicopter descended, lowering itself over a forsaken parking lot. I broke into a sprint as I grabbed Mia’s hand, yanking her towards our saviour. Together we rushed into the gusting wind, created by the spinning blades, but it wasn’t close to being strong enough to stop us. Together we rushed towards the man in the blue helmet, each taking his hand as we stepped into the copter, the whoosh of the rotor blocking out all sound. The soldier strapped us in to the seats and slipped headphones over our ears, silencing the deafening roar. The crackle of a radio entered my eardrums, signalling that the man was going to speak. This time I was listening.
“I didn’t think there was going to be anyone out here. You two must have some guardian angels watching down ‘cause you are damn lucky. Just sit back and relax, we are gonna take you somewhere safe,” the soldier’s soft tones carried me to sleep as I let my eyes close; drawing the curtains over a city I would never forget.