After Rick had left with Negan, I stayed put a couple of minutes, glancing about the barren room. An hour or so ago, this room was full of character and life. Now all it had left was a couch, a bookshelf (including a couple picked over reads), and a scented candle. I picked the candle up in my hand, well thank goodness they left this, what would I do without, "Moonlight Glow." If only Sasha were here now, she would be absolutely enraged about how the room looked dead without the paintings.
They were her favorite part of the house. She always told me she just liked the way that the images felt, how the one of a calm lake made her feel tranquil and at ease, while the painting of a sunrise over a meadow made her excited for the day and full of life. Personally, I think she liked the paintings because they made her feel like this was all a dream. That nothing was corrupt and destroyed and the whole world was as calm as that lake she adored in the picture. Maggie and I use to tease her for hours about her obsession with these paintings, but now that they were both gone and so were all our paintings, I missed our little moments like that even more.
"Hey" Carl's voice interrupted my daydreaming, "You alright?"
I took one last glance at the candle in my hand before dropping it back down on the windowsill.
"Yeah, Negan's nothing I couldn't handle. Just a little bit of conversation and a little bit of drinking," I sigh, thinking back on the chat Negan and I had.
"Well I'm glad you're okay," Carl sighed, "I don't trust that dick one bit, as soon as he walked off with you I went out to find my dad. I knew that would motivate his search for those guns."
I curiously glanced at him, wanting to ask what he meant by that. Why would Negan forcefully coming into my home motivate Rick to move faster? But opting against it since I didn't need Carl wondering if there was something going on between his dad and I.
"I appreciate the concern bud," I chuckle, placing an arm around him, "Did your dad actually find the guns?"
Carl nodded, "Found them in Spencer's house, but don't spread it around too much, dad's gonna confront him when he and Rosita get back."
Of course it was Spencer, he had always come across as a bit of a slimeball in my opinion. But my history with Spencer was a whole other story.
"Now that Negan has his guns though, my guess is they'll be heading out pretty quick" Carl assumes, "you know, till we have to bear with them next time."
I let out a sigh, "Well you conquer one battle at a time bud, come on, let's go check on Judith."
As I held Judith in my arms, I surveyed the grounds from the window of her room. The Saviors were seemingly finished with loading our belongings onto their trucks, so now they were just hanging around, waiting for Negan's signal to move out.
"My biggest fear is that they'll find Judith one day" Carl softly confesses, grasping a hold of her tiny little hand, "I can't even begin to imagine what Negan would do if he found her."
"I don't know if Negan is even monster enough to hurt an innocent baby" I sigh, pinching her chubby, rosy cheeks. But not even I could assure the safety of Judith, that's why she stayed very hidden while the Saviors were here.
I wanted to believe there was a heart somewhere, deep, deep down in Negan's cold blooded chest. But who was to say there even was.
It was sad really, to recognize the fact that Judith was going to grow up in a world where everything was completely different than her brothers childhood experience. She would be instantly thrown into this world of kill or be killed, television would be just an unfathomable concept to her, she'd never get to go to a school one day and make new friends, instead she'd be constantly taunted by the fear her father or brother could die - leaving her all alone. It was sad really, but I suppose that's what happens to a child when they're born into the apocalypse, their entire world is flipped upside down right from the start.
"Well," Carl hops off the windowsill where he sits, "I think I'm going to go join my dad in seeing Negan off, wave my middle finger in the air as they drive away." He demonstrates by raising his finger and waving it, earning a laugh from me.
"I'll come with" I tell him, placing Judith back into her crib. Her small eyes were falling heavy with sleep as I was bouncing her around and the moment I laid her down in her crib she closed them shut. I envied her capability of shutting out the world like that, so peacefully sprawled out, soft sighs escaping her pink lips. Once upon a time, the world was simple for me too and I as well could depart into a deep slumber. But alas, those days were over.
Carl and I quietly exited Judith's room, attempting to not wake her. Once we successfully did that, we headed off to join everyone in bidding farewell to Negan. See you later, asshole.
Upon our arrival, Negan was excitedly congratulating Rick for his accommodating ways.
"This is something to build a relationship on. Good for you, Rick. This is the readin' room and gettin' the message," he chuckles, "I've said it before, I'm gonna say it again. You sir are special!"
Oh the hatred that was bottling up inside Rick, I wouldn't dare to be around if all that antipathy was to spew out.
"Now that you know we can follow your rules" Rick hesitantly starts.
"Yes?" He urges for Rick to go on.
"I'd like to ask you if Daryl can stay."
Negan smiled down at Rick for a moment, "Not happenin'."
He pauses, turning to Daryl.
"You know what? I don't know. Maybe Daryl can plead his case. Maybe Daryl can sway me?" He glances over at Daryl, "Daryl?"
Oh, poor Daryl. Too scared to even speak in fear Negan may punish him for it.
Negan chuckled, "Well, you tried."
He turned to scout out his good work, taking note of all his mean ready and rearing to go.
"Now what you got to do is get over that tall wall of yours and try harder out there. Earn for me. Because we're coming back soon, and when we do, you better have something interesting for us, or Lucille, she's gonna have her way." Negan pauses, nearing Rick more, "I want you to hear that again. If you don't have something interesting for us somebody's gonna die. And no more magic guns. Arat, grab that deer."
I hadn't even noticed the large deer carcass slung over Michonne's shoulders until Negan shouted out for it to be taken. Well thanks Negan, please, take everything why don't you.
Where the hell had Michonne been all day? Now that I thought about it, she had been missing this entire time.
" It's getting late. Let's go home."
I wonder, what kind of hell hole did Negan refer to as 'home'?
The carcass thudded as it's dropped into one of the big trucks Negan brought with him.
" Man, I love a gal that buys me dinner and doesn't expect me to put out."
If I didn't hate this man so much, I probably would laugh. But just by glancing at him, I wanted to rip his eyes out. Well, at least he was leaving.
The engines revved, signaling they were ready to roll out.
"So, nobody died. And you know what I think? I think you and I, we've refined our understanding. Let me ask you something, Rick. Do you want me to go?"
Rick wanted to say so much more, his stature just told me so, but he simply said, "I think that'd be good."
Negan smiled that eerie, awaiting smile, "Then just say those two magical words."
Rick wanted to say two other magical words, but flatly forced the words out, "Thank you."
Negan chuckled, "Don't be ridiculous! Thank You!"
Oh, the nerve of that man. I scoffed at him, without realizing I had, but Negan heard it. His eyes drifted from Rick to me, watching from a distance with Carl.
"Ahh, Mia."
His smile grew as he stepped towards my direction, "You don't think I'd leave without saying goodbye to you, did ya?"
Well I had hoped you would.
"Wouldn't dream of it," I sarcastically jabbed, causing Negan to cock his head at me.
"I'm going to miss that lil' attitude till next time, but it gives me something to look forward to" he smirks at me, greedily scanning me up and down. Perhaps it was just me, but as Negan neared me I noticed Rick uncomfortably shuffling behind us. As if this whole scene in front of him was absolutely disgusting.
"Or maybe.."Negan trails off, the way his eyebrows furrowed downward towards me told me that he was up to no good, "Well, I just had an idea!"
Negan turned away from me, heading back towards Rick.
"Rick, tell me - does Mia mean anything to you?"
My heart flipped into my stomach as he so casually threw that question onto Rick. I had been waiting weeks to ask Rick the same thing, how the hell had Negan beat me to it? And more importantly why?
There was an awkward hesitance in the air, Rick's blue eyes looked past Negan to where I stood. His lips fumbling over the right answer.
"Well, yes. Mia is one of us, we all care for one another."
Well, that was disappointing.
"Just that Rick?" Negan chuckled, "You sure you don't protect her over other members of the group? Seems to me like you're gettin' all hot and bothered from just a simple question."
I should never have told Negan that, I should've known he would use it against Rick.
Rick did seem off, he aggravatingly pushed a hand through his hair, he knew where Negan was getting at now.
"No" he shook his head, "Nothing like that."
My heart dropped. Just like that, everything I had been pondering for weeks came tumbling down into one desperate pile of heartbreak.
Rick's eyes met my own, I attempted not to show any type of emotion through them, but I probably would fail miserably.
"Aww" Negan made a face, turning in my direction, "Poor Mia."
But yet his smile grew, into a mischievous one yet again as he looked from Rick to me.
"Well then Rick, you'll be glad to know I'll be taking her off your hands," my head snapped up at his words, only to find him maliciously smiling at me.
"That's right Mia, you're coming back home with me."