As I sat in the gym on the first floor of my house, I was unable to keep my gaze from straying to Loren. When I'd decided to spend some time in the gym with my best friend, Sophia, Loren had immediately said that he'd hang out in the gym too, which was why we were here now.
I sat in the corner of the room on a small couch with Sophia by my side, while Loren stood at the other side of the room, punching a punch bag furiously, his bare back flexing with each move.
I was snapped out of my admiration of Loren when Sophia waved a hand in front of my face, bringing my focus back to her.
"I'm surprised he hasn't noticed the fact that you're completely hung up on him." She said, shaking her head slightly with a teasing smile on her face.
Sophia was the only person I spoke to about my doomed fascination with Loren. No one else knew and I wanted it to stay that way because if Loren ever found out, it would ruin everything.
I felt a blush spread across my face as I chewed on my bottom lip, struggling to keep my gaze from straying to him once again.
"I am not hung up on him. I just find him attractive, that's all." I insisted, although I knew that wasn't the whole truth.
Sophia laughed, making her whole face light up in the process.
"You can't fool me, Rosa. You want him. It's plain to see every time you look at him, which is why I'm surprised he hasn't noticed yet." She said, as she glanced in Loren's direction with a puzzled frown, as if she couldn't figure out why he hadn't noticed my fascination with him.
"He's never going to know. If he found out, it would ruin everything, Sophia. There is no way that he is ever going to find out." I said, my tone adamant that this must be kept between us. The thought of Loren finding out terrified me because I knew that there was no way that he would ever see me than anything other than someone he had to protect as part of his job. He'd never see me the way I saw him, which was why he could never find out.
"I don't know why you're so convinced that it will ruin everything, Rosa. Maybe you're overreacting. Maybe he might feel the same way. You'll never know if you never try." She said, as if I were acting like a silly little girl with a crush.
Every time I tried to explain the reasons to her that Loren could never find out, she didn't understand. I'd eventually given up trying to explain, just hoping that she'd stop insisting that I should tell him how I feel.
"You don't understand because you have the perfect boyfriend who loves you more than anything and who your parents treat like their own son, Sophia. Can you really not see the problems it would cause if Loren found out about this?" I said after a moment, trying to convince her one last time that she was wrong about the fact that I was overreacting.
"Did I hear someone mention me?"
I couldn't stop the grin that spread across my face when Romeo suddenly appeared, practically throwing himself onto the couch beside Sophia, wrapping an arm around her as a huge smile spread across her face. I always felt a little jealous whenever I saw Sophia and Romeo together, because I'd always wanted someone to love me the way they loved each other.
"So, how's my amazing girlfriend and my crazy best friend?" Romeo asked, smiling at us both crookedly, which only made him look more adorable.
"We're fine. I thought you were spending time with your parents today?" Sophia asked him, a frown fixing onto her face.
Romeo shrugged his shoulders as he twirled a strand of Sophia's dark blonde hair around his finger.
"They decided that they needed to spend some time together instead, so I told them I'd spend the day with them another time." He said, then before Sophia could say anything, he kissed her, halting whatever she'd been about to say.
I looked away from them as Sophia kissed him back, because it only made me feel more jealous, which only made me feel guilty because they were my best friends and I shouldn't feel jealous of their relationship.
As my gaze swung back to Loren once again, I was surprised to see that he'd stopped punching the punch bag and that his gaze was fixed on me. As soon as he saw me looking at him, he diverted his gaze, focusing his attention on the punch bag once again, making me question whether I'd imagined the fact that he'd been watching me a moment ago.
My attention swung back to Romeo when he said my name, interrupting my thoughts about Loren. I could tell immediately by the look on his face that he knew that I hadn't been listening to a word he'd said.
"Are you coming to the party with us tonight?" He asked, his eyebrows almost disappearing behind his hair due to his inquisitiveness.
I couldn't stop the frown that spread across my face as I racked my brain, trying to figure out which party he was referring to.
"Which party?" I asked when I came up blank.
Romeo rolled his eyes as if I were completely hopeless, but rather than irritating me, it only made me smile.
"Gabriella Rivera's annual summer party. Don't tell me you forgot!" Sophia chimed in before Romeo could say anything. I suddenly felt a little silly, because I had actually forgotten when it was practically unforgettable.
Every summer, Gabriella Rivera, a girl from my school, threw a huge party. Everybody was invited and there wasn't a single person from school that didn't turn up.
Romeo must have been able to tell what the look on my face meant, because his signature crooked smile spread across his face, telling me that he knew that I had in fact forgotten about it.
"I can't believe you forgot about it, Rosa. It's practically a tradition." He said, mock-scolding me as if I'd done something unthinkable.
"I have more on my mind than parties, Romeo." I said, frowning at him.
His eyes narrowed slightly, his gaze on me suddenly intent and I knew that I'd said the wrong thing. Now, he'd want to know what else I had on my mind that was more important than Gabriella Rivera's party and I could not tell him about my feelings for Loren.
"What else do you have on your mind, Rosa?" He asked, his tone more serious than I was usually accustomed to. Sophia seemed to sense my sudden discomfort and fortunately saved me from having to answer the question.
"You have to come with us, Rosa." She said, her tone insistent, leaving no room for arguments, but I found reasons for me not to go forming in my head anyway.
"You know what my dad's been like lately. There's no way he'll let me go to a crazy party." I said, already able to imagine all of the lectures he'd give me about putting myself at risk if I even dared ask.
Sophia rolled her eyes as if I were being dramatic, but my mood didn't lighten.
They may have thought that I was being dramatic, but my dad had gone overboard about my protection ever since the incident two years ago. I'd been practically under lock-down, excluding school.
"There's one simple solution that doesn't involve asking your dad for permission." She said, as if I'd been stupid not to think of whatever it was she was referring to.
I couldn't stop the frown that formed on my face, because I had no idea what direction her thoughts had gone in.
When I didn't seem to understand what she was talking about, she sighed in exasperation as if I were a child that she had to explain every little thing to.
"Convince Loren to come with you." She said, shrugging her shoulders as if it were the most obvious thing in the world and I should have been able to come up with it on my own.
I couldn't think of anything worse than dragging Loren to a highschool party to basically babysit me. The thought was absolutely horrifying and I seriously didn't think that going to this party was worth that.
"There's no way he'd want to tag along to a lame high school party." I said.
Romeo's crooked smile made an appearance again, making me feel as if he were laughing at me.
"He has to protect you, otherwise he has your father to answer to. If he won't agree to it on his own, threaten to sneak out if he won't go with you and he'll soon change his mind." He said, as if I'd yet again missed the obvious solution to the problem.
I glanced in Loren's direction only to see him facing away from us, hitting the punch bag vigorously, as if it had personally done something to offend him.
When I looked back at my friends, they were both smiling at me with crooked smiles and I somehow found that I couldn't come up with any more reasons not to go to the party with them. I wanted to go with them, if only because I hadn't been out and enjoyed myself with my friends in so long because of my over-protective father.
I sighed and they seemed to know that that meant that I'd given in to their suggestions and matching grins stretched across their faces, which only made me grin in return.
"What time does it start?" I found myself asking.
~
I stood in front of my wardrobe, looking through my clothes, trying to decide what to wear for the party. I couldn't decide whether I should dress casual or fancy. Sophia had told me to get really dressed up, but I would only feel self-conscious if I turned up overdressed.
I eventually managed to decide on something to wear, which I hoped wouldn't leave me feeling overdressed, but I hoped that everyone else there would be getting dressed up too. I slipped on the black dress I'd chosen which came down to my knees; the hem was uneven and jagged, as if someone had cut along it unevenly with a pair of scissors and the neckline was made of lace, which revealed the tops of my shoulders and my neck. I thought it was just fancy enough without being too much and I hoped that I was right.
As I sat at my dressing table and began to apply a heavy coat of eye-liner, my nerves about the party suddenly decided to catch up with me.
"What are you getting all dressed up for?"
I almost jumped out of my skin when I heard Loren's voice behind me, his voice full of both curiosity and suspicion. I twisted around and saw him standing in the doorway, leaning one shoulder against the doorframe, a frown fixed onto his face as he looked me over from head to toe.
After a moment, I turned back to the mirror, continuing to apply eye-liner, making my green eyes stand out dramatically against the black.
"I'm going to a party." I stated, as if it was as easy as that. I knew that with Loren, you had to push him to give in, otherwise you wouldn't have a chance.
I heard his footsteps as he walked into the room, then I saw him in the mirror as he sat down behind me at the opposite side of the room, his frown deepening until an adorable wrinkle appeared in between his brows.
"I can't recall your father saying that you could go to a party." He said, his tone suspicious once again.
I put the eye-liner down onto the dressing table with an audible thump, sighing as I twisted in my seat to face him, a frown of my own appearing on my face.
"Everyone from school will be there, including Sophia and Romeo. It's not like anything will happen to me in a house full of people." I said, my exasperation showing in my voice.
I knew what had happened two years ago better than anyone and it still got to me even now, but my father couldn't wrap me up in cotton wool forever. If he didn't let me have some freedom, I was going to suffocate.
"People will also be drinking. I doubt it is as safe as you're making it out to be, Rosa." He said, his tone admonishing. I hated it when he spoke to me that way. It always made me feel like a little kid and I didn't want him to treat me that way. I wanted him to treat me as a woman; as an equal.
"I don't need your permission, Loren. I'm going. End of discussion." I said, my voice turning harsh and unyielding. This was one thing I wasn't going to budge on, no matter how much he pushed me.
"Your father assigned me to protect you. Don't be mad at me for doing my job." He said. I immediately knew that he was right. He was only doing what my father was paying him to do. It wasn't his fault that I felt like I was suffocating in my own home.
"I know he's only trying to protect me, but you have no idea how trapped I feel right now. I need some freedom, Loren. I need to be able to just go out and have fun with my friends and if I need to sneak out of the house to be able to do that, then that's what I'll do." I said, my tone telling him that I meant every word that I was saying.
He seemed to be thinking over what I'd said for a moment before he sighed, sounding resigned.
"If you really have your mind set on going to this party, then I'm coming with you. Before you say anything, it's not up for discussion. Either I go with you or you don't go at all." He said, meeting my gaze with determination written all over his face.
I vaguely felt a hint of satisfaction that my friends had been right about their suggestion, then the fact that I was going to a party and Loren would be there watching me the whole time sank in. I was probably going to regret this.