As I pulled up to the cemetery , sadness came over me . I missed him so much . He was so proud of me . He loved me with all his heart . And I loved him more . It still amazes me he's gone . After the gravestone was reviled I started coming here when I missed him , so I could talk to him . Get some answers . Work through " stuff " . Now he didn't give me my answers , but the things he taught me my whole life did . He taught me to be proud of my name and to be good and to take care of others when they need it . He taught what it meant to be strong and love your family .
As I placed the flowers and cigar I brought for him on his grave , I started to cry a little . God I missed that man .
" Hey Grandpa " I whispered . I had a lump in my throat . I sat down and just rubbed my hands over his headstone. I could almost feel him , smell him and his cigars .
" I just wanted to stop by and see you Grandpa " I told him . " I miss you more than I ever thought I could "
" But I bet your going to a couple of Chuck Berry concerts a week up there " I chuckled .
" I have so much to tell you Grandpa ! "
The lump was disappearing and the words were free flowing .
" Luke finally completely lost his mind . He married Mom ! Grandpa I wish you had been at the wedding . Either wedding . Yeah , Grandpa you heard me right they got married twice . One the night before the big one . It was just mom and Luke and Lane and Michel and me and Reverend Skinner . And it was amazing . Kirk had decorated the whole town and it was perfect . Then they did it again the next day . Grandma was so proud . She always misses you but I could tell how much more it hurt that day . She looked like she was missing a piece of her that day " I said my voice trailing off .
" Grandpa we are all missing a piece of us since you've been gone . "
I sat in silence just looking around . I had so much more to say but I was chickening out . Why was I so scared to tell him , after all all he could do was listen . It wasn't like he could yell at me ?
" Grandpa , I wrote a book . A real live book . It's about my life . And mom's and you and grandma , all of our lives . It's about our family. It's about how we became who we are today . How we got here . " I finally get excitement talking to him . " Grandpa you're such a big part of my book such a big part of me . I can't believe you won't be there for my baby , for this baby growing inside of me " sudden fear ripped through my gut again . " Grandpa I'm pregnant . It's Logan's . I'm not going to tell him . He's going to marry that French girl , Odette . He's not going to leave her . It's not in the plans . So I am going to have this baby on my own . And take care of her/ him and raise them to be a proper Gilmore ." I said feeling pride in the Gilmore name .
" Mom raised me practically on her own and was much younger when she did it . " I told him ." I don't know about you but Mom thinks I turned out okay . So with her help and Grandma's maybe just maybe I won't screw up this kid too . "
I sat there and didn't say anything else . I laid my head on his grave . I must of drifted off to sleep . I woke up and it was almost dark . I got up to my knees and looked at his headstone . I kissed my fingers and placed my kiss on his headstone .
I told him" Grandpa I love and miss you . I'm going to do my best to make you proud "
As I stood up and dusted my self off I looked back at Grandpa I told him " I'll be back soon "
I sighed " I love you Grandpa "
I got in my car and started the drive to Grandma and the Cape .