I've read online love story ... just like you... I fell for someone online and this was my letter to him.
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January 2012
Dear Mr. Wattpad Member
I know that you are reading this. I want you to know that I like you..but I can't tell you that myself, that's why I'm doing it this way... Confessing my love on this page for the whole world to read...
This may sound cheesy and weird but my heart pounds like crazy everytime I see your profile picture..That's not even half of how much you affect me..
My chest hurts everytime I read your declarations of love for her... Yes, I know that you're already taken. Don't worry, I'm not going to get in between you and the love of your life (even if I'm dying to do that...)...
I've been stalking you for a while now... (I'm not ashamed to admit that.) and I know that I don't stand a chance.. You love her too much.,.. and even if you don't, ...I am a coward...
I want you to know that you're a very sweet guy, Why do I know that? I can feel your love for her in every message.
And in every message, jealousy and envy creeps in my heart.... but still, I try to be happy... how?
I imagine that all that love you have for that girl... is for me...Everytime her username appears on the screen, I replace it with mine...
Call me delusional...I don't care. I just really like you.,,,and she's lucky to have you...
I love you....
If you feel like this message is for you? YES, you're right IT IS FOR YOU... but you don't have to tell me that you've found it out.. .it will only be too awkward. It's enough that you have read this. It's enough that you know of my feelings..
So please everytime that you declare your love publicly, you know that somewhere out there.... someone is reading... and hurting... someone who likes you.. and loves you to pieces.
HAPPY NEW YEAR
-Humi.
This was my very first love confession. I posted this message in one of the discussion threads here on wattpad. I know that he likes posting on that thread so I took the chance and made this letter.
And to my surprise... He replied.
Dear HumiGad,
You're not a coward.You're a sweetheart. You're too kind. Unfortunately the guy that you like is taken but never lose hope. ;) If you're not his friend you should try to be and who knows maybe one day... Any guy would be lucky to get a gf like you. There's a guy out there waiting to find a girl like you. =) *hugs tight*
B.
I have no idea if he replied to me knowing that he is the guy that I'm talking about... but his post...
KILLED ME.
"There's a guy out there waiting to find a girl like you."
My heart at that time was screaming: BUT I WANT YOU TO BE THAT GUY!!!
and I know I was asking too much...I tried to take his reply positively. So I posted another message this time it's adressed to him,
Dear B,
I don't know what to say...and I have no idea how to start...I'm blushing like crazy over here...sheesh as if you could see me. =_=
Thank you, that means a lot to me. Last night I've read something that I shouldn't have... I mean, I've always known that he loves her a lot... but reading his message to her after I just confessed my love for him,..hurts me...
I don't want to be his friend... because it would only break me... He is really kind and sweet... and that might cause me to love him more than I do now. I will always wish for something 'more' between us...like making him love me back ..ha ha =_=
...and knowing that it would NEVER happen, is like putting salt to my wounds. I may sound overly dramatic.. but I am not.. this is what I really feel about y—him. (So to those who are reading this and thinks I'm sooo mussshhy, back off! I'm not doing this for you.)
Imagining that his love for that girl is for me....and changing her username to mine in my head is something that I could not just hold on to forever..I can't keep doing that..
Maybe...it's a sign that I should stop? I'm crying over a guy that is not mine..and will never be...Only in my dreamland... Only in my dreams...
I think it's very weird.. Now, I really think that it is wrong... This is wrong. My feelings is wrong... I shouldn't be feeling this way..dmn it.
I'll just think that he is not real...he's just a wattpad member... I can meet real guys in real life..Not online..not on wattpad... Yes, yes... I would do that... I'll think that he's gay....I'll think that he's really a girl in real life...
but still.... I know this attraction won't stop just like that.*sigh*.. I fully know that my heart will continue thumping like crazy everytime I see his account..
but I will try,... Yes, I will try..
Thank you and happy birthday to you....B.
-Humi
(This time I won't be posting our whole messages... Just some parts.)
Dear HumiGad,
I wish he could feel the same. I'm sorry.
Dear B,
I know that I can't be like this forever... I have to tell you this now....no more secrets....no more hiding anything...Maybe if I tell this to you now, I'll get over it quickly.
B, I'm sorry... but I like you...I bet you saw this coming...I really like you..
So yeah....Now that I have spilled the beans...there is no turning back.
Be happy with your D and I wish you all the best this new year.
I'll stop from here...
-Humi
I posted that message for a day.... I think..? or was it only for a number of hours? I don't know...I can't remember...but I EDITED that message... because I noticed that he STOPPED from replying... and I was SCARED... I was WORRIED that he might feel awkward making a reply because of what I just told him.
In my edited post... I removed everything about telling him that I like him.. but I left the part where I told him to be happy with his D. After I edited that message... He finally replied,
Dear HumiGad,
I guess I...hmm...I know who's the guy you like. All I can say is that love 's complicated.
You're amazing Humi.That's not your real name right? You're so sweet and kind. You deserve a guy better than hmm..him. *hugs tight* Thank you love. You're making my sad bday much better.
B.
After that, I STOPPED posting on that discussion thread. I feel like I'm a masochist everytime I visit his profile... (His profile was full of their messages for each other) so I STOPPED from doing that too. Then suddenly, he became MY FAN... I IGNORED THAT. I wanted to forget about him... about everything... because I really mean what I said in my message.. I felt weird for liking someone online.
I DON'T KNOW IF HE'S DOING IT ON PURPOSE...I DON'T KNOW IF HE LIKES TORMENTING ME. BUT HE POSTED ON MY MESSAGE BOARD:
Mahal Kita.
The WALL I just created CRUMBLED. I didn't know what to do. It felt like he took myheart...then gave it back again.. but this time... It's BEATING...
BEATING WITH LOVE FOR HIM...
I asked my soulmate DeMisse on what to reply..on what would I do... on how should I react... I was in a state of shock and dillema... I was happy... and doubtful at the same time... How could he say something like that if he already has a girlfriend?
I took DeMisse's advice....I replied back,
Salamat :)
And his response to that?
Mahal kita sobra :) Do I say salamat back?
btw, I'm N. My friend asked me to search for the words in tagalog(?) and post on your wall. That's fun. xD I'm willing to learn this language. Nice to meet you Humi?
The first word that came in my mind was, BULLSH!T! I felt betrayed.... I felt....ughh.. I don't know.
I really don't know how to describe what I felt at that time..
As my feelings for him slowly faces its FINAL DOWNFALL...My last reply to him was,
Who is your friend? Does he know tagalog? Try this...
Akala ko si B. yung nagsabi na mahal niya ako. Masakit man, alam ko rin namang hindi yun totoo. Ikaw pala N. yung gumawa nun. Alam kong biro lang yun, pero masakit parin :) Pero parang nag-eenjoy kayo eh, may magagawa pa ba ako?
Maraming salmat parin. Kahit papa-ano natuwa naman ako.
I have no idea if he is still my fan... and if he will be able to read this...
But B..
If you are reading this now... Thank you. I want you to know that I really enjoyed liking you... I enjoyed all those mixed feelings of liking and being hurt... XD I want you to know... that THAT WAS BEFORE.. and this is now. I got over it. I have no idea if you and YOUR D are still together but... I wish you happiness...FOR REAL this time and with no hard feelings!
If you're thinking that I'm shallow because I got over him that fast... and I'm just making a big deal out of things... then that's fine with me. I just want to share this...
This is MY FIRST LOVE CONFESSION. Be it on real life or in the internet world. I don't know if it deserves to be called an ONLINE LOVE STORY... You decide.
Thank you for reading... and sorry for my terrible grammar and tenses.