A/N: Happy Sunday guys! And Happy Reading!!
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When I got home, I packed my clothes. That was the first thing. Like I was going somewhere... and maybe I was. I was ready to leave. But it was maybe three in the morning at most and although it was already so late I had zero clue as too when Jerias would be home. So I'd left my packed suitcase by my door and did as he said. I slept, but mostly in hopes that the nap would wear off my tipsy nature. I didn't expect to get much sleep in. But I did. In fact I'd slept all night. And all day the whole day after that. I didn't know how, maybe because I hadn't much sleep the nights before. I carried extreme exhaustion around with me for days. When I woke up the next day it was maybe five in the evening.
I had showered, washed my hair, brushed. And strangely enough... there was something new about how I felt. I believe mostly I was tired really, tired of the endless cycle. So I felt like I didn't have to do it anymore, I couldn't... It was like peace. Content. As if I was ready for something. Anything. I was ready. I'd survive, I kept thinking to myself. And I knew it. In the way my shoulder stretched broader, my steps longer and prouder. In the way my once heavy heart was no longer an unwanted weight, but a provider of strength. I couldn't find it in me to be bared to this mess that seemed to revolve around Jerias only. Jerias was so jumbled up in worries, and so I knew that had to be the rock. My mind and heart had to be sure. I shouldn't-couldn't keep on hurting.
I understood his pain, he was scared. And that was okay. I wasn't. But I wasn't going to hurt for that. Something has to still belong to me, even when I'm his. My dignity. My choices. My strength. Those were still mine.
Whatever his choices would be. Whether I stayed here with him or not. I was ready.
"Okay girl," I sigh heavily staring at the mirror. My freshly washed and dried hair just brushing my shoulders. Smiling slowly I picture myself with shorter hair, suddenly feeling a desire to chop the lot of my locks off. Something different. Something new. For myself. I shrug instead and throw on a large black t shirt and leggings.
Arie was still here but leaving. I heard her hollering outside my door the whole time on the phone with Ronan. Talking about when he'd be coming to pick her up, and that she was waiting "literally all day". I decide that I would see her before she goes.
I find her in the kitchen when I search out for her.
"You're awake?" Arie smiles brightly at me.
"Yes. I am awake. I can't even believe I slept for that long," I shake my head pulling up a seat next to her by the counter, "So you're leaving today."
"Yeah..." she looks at me then looks away seeming ashamed almost and as if she wanted to tell me something.
I don't speak waiting for her to do so herself. Which she did after clearing her throat.
"Are you still mad at me?" He voice is cautious and I only raise my brow at her curiously. She reacts in discomfort, "Sorry I ask. I- I shouldn't have, of course you'd still be mad, who-"
"I wasn't mad at you Arie," I shake my head at her, "I never was. I'm upset, but it has nothing to do with you. It's between Jerias and I. You didn't hurt me, you never meant to just like you said, and so you haven't."
I lean closer to her placing my hand a top hers and I look her in the eye, "You're very lucky. And I'm happy for you Arie." Smiling I reach my arms out and around her pulling her close, "You guys are so cute anyways, there's no way I could hate such love. I see the way you look at each other. It's beautiful. So don't mind me, don't pity me. Don't feel bad cause it absolutely is not your fault. I'm okay," I pull away, "Just be happy."
Arie stares at me shocked and in awe, "...Ines?"
I smile wider, "Come on. Let's make something while you wait. Mac and cheese sounds good?" I pop up out of my seat and walk to the cabinets, "I bought some when I went grocery shopping? How bout oven baked? Mmm I love it oven baked."
"Ines-"
"Or do you want something else? Spaghetti? Steak? How bout-"
"Ines. Please just look at me."
Sighing I stop mid-action.
"Please."
I did as she ask and she's nearly rushing to me, pulling into a hug, "Thank you so much. You're such a good person. You're kind and strong..." her voice lowers, "You don't deserve this... I'm not pitying you. I just feel for you. And I'm here. Always."
"I know..." my heart throbs, "I know. Thank you."
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Arie and I decided to make the baked mac and cheese and we had fun doing so. It felt great to be back to normal again, with her and with life. I could feel the weight of everything being lifted. She talked about how she'd gone job hunting, and had a few interviews set up already. She explained how she felt so independent for working and wondered why she never thought of that. Gave her another purpose in life instead of just being the "pretty little Amaranthine who waited home alone until Ronan came back." I grew hysterical at the comment, glad she felt like she had something of her own now. I agreed wholeheartedly with her after all.
I was sad to see her go but I also knew we'd keep in touch. She said she would call me every single day and I believed that entirely. I assume she might be worried about me even though it'd be unnecessary now at this point. Still, I didn't blame her for being concerned, and if anything, I appreciated it.
She gave me a big hug good bye and promised to come over in a few days before her departure. I was left to go back to the kitchen and clean up. It was growing dark outside now, with three hours had gone by and it being around eight. I had placed the leftovers in the fridge and just tidied up the kitchen when he came home to my surprise. I was more than positive Jerias was no longer coming anymore. He didn't come the night he told me to wait, and it was far later than the time he normally would come from work.
"Hello Ines."
I spin around to face him. He was standing there watching me in the dim light of the kitchen. I'd just shut the lights and there was only one left on now, which was the one above the sink.
"Hey Jerias," I reach over the counter and grab the cloth on it.
"How was your day?" He ask cautiously as I hang the rag.
In return I shrug leaning against the counter by the sink and crossing my arms, "Arie and I talked. Then we made food. How about you? Haven't seen you for some time. Guess cause I slept so damn long."
"The Being said it was the potion, it has a stronger affect on humans." Jerias purses his lips and then I watch the expression on his face change. When he first came, he had a bit of nervousness to him but just like that, he was all at once intense again. Carefully watching me, observing me, taking in my new attitude. I suppose he was expecting me to be angry which would normally be my usual reaction but I didn't want to be the angry person anymore. Maybe I could accept this? The Jerias who looks at me with beautiful narrowed eyes, with the speculating expression. Maybe I could accept him and not love him. Maybe...
He removes his jacket and loosens his tie, I watch him hang it over a chair. I cross my arm and lean back, relaxing for whatever was going to happen.
"Ines-" he breaks.
My heart beats.
"Jerias..." I whisper.
He rubs the back of his neck, and then his eyes glow, the yellow becomes the shining golden sun. The lids widen when he looks at me with such a vivid expression, and it was like all he was feeling ran through me. And I knew he was going to walk over to me before he'd done it. His hands slips into his pocket as he hovers above me. And then his shoulders drop as if in a defeated manner. I wouldn't stop looking at him, and he may have taken it as a sign of warning, as a sign of resistance or daring. But that wasn't it. I couldn't stop looking at him because he was so beautiful, so powerful. And although I was definitely ready, and stronger now I couldn't deny how he made me felt. How that scared me. He always scared me.
Is it possible? To be strong but terribly frightened .
He opts to stand besides me instead of in front of me.
"I found you asleep when I came," he says as if to attempt small talk but then adds, "The night I told you to wait. I found you sleeping and I wanted to wake you but I knew I shouldn't. So I decided to wait... Did you..."
"Did I what?" I ask.
"Did you wait for me? Do you want to wait for me? Or did you give up?" Jerias breaths out shakily, "Are you... Are you leaving me Ines."
"Jerias-"
"Don't leave."
"I-"
"I need you." His voice bleeds with sincerity and then he turns and faces me, "I need you with me. Not your blood. You. Just you. If you go..."
"Why would you think I'm leaving?" I furrow my brows at him.
"I saw your suitcase, I saw it all packed up. You want to leave right?"
I smile and shake my head, "No... I was angry at you that night so I packed my bags and told myself I'd leave you if you ... if you," a exhausted sigh escapes my lips, "I was just pissed. I was kinda drunk then. And I'm not angry anymore. I'm okay. It's okay. Whatever it is you chose. I'm ready, I'm okay, I... I will be okay."
"But do you want to leave?"
I open my mouth to say no but shut it quickly when I realize that was a lie, "I don't want to feel like this anymore," I whisper, "I want you. But I don't want this... this pain. If I could get away, if I could go away then- yes. Yes."
"Would you?" He voice his quieter now, quiet with betrayal, rage and hurt.
"Who knows? Maybe. I wouldn't want to do that to you. But..."
"If I told you, you could go then you would?"
I cock my head to the side then lift my hands to my hips, "Are trying to tell me to go?"
"N-"
"Jerias I can go if you want. What the fuck- I don't even know why I didn't leave yet?"
"No, Ines, that's not-"
"Yeah, well you keep asking about it? Do you want me to go? Just say it!"
"I don't want you to go anywhere!" He yells.
"Then why are you asking me these questions!?"
"Because I'm sorry! And I love you! But I don't want you to suffer. If all of this is making you..." he stops then he looks at me wide eyed as if he just realized what he'd just said. I expected him to stop completely but he just continued, like it was exactly what he meant to say, "If all of this if making you hurt then I'd want to let you go. I'd want you to be happy if it means letting you go. But..." he shakes his head, "Dear God I can't do it Ines. I can't let you go, and I can't keep doing this.
"W... Well what do you want?" I ask quietly stepping close to him, "How do you really feel about all of this?
"I feel..." His voice bleeds with breathtaking desperation and all at once I break at the anticipation. My pieces fall apart, flooding me inside and out. Becoming endless waves of heart wrenching emotion. Emotions of love. Such love. "As if you don't get to walk away from me," his eyes are heavy, and I see in them his sorrow, his raw meanings, "It's selfish. I know but... Please don't walk away from me. I need you. I love you."
Silence quakes my body and I see that his eyes have become a brighter gold, and I acknowledge that it's the second time he's said that now, and his words seem so real, reaching out to me like warm fingers to brush and feel against my soul, to etch themselves forever there, "What?"
"I love you." He says again without hesitation. And he breaths out heavily when he does. Like an exasperated sigh, as if, finally, he was free, "I love you Ines. But... forget of what we learned about Amaranthine bonding. All of that stuff doesn't matter. It doesn't-" he pauses struggling with his words, "I just... I love you Ines okay? But only because of what I know of you, because my time spent with you is never a time wasted. I love you as a man would love another women. I love you because I know you, and you're amazing," He kisses me and kisses me, "I'm in love with you."
Bliss? Gentle waves? A calm horizon? No. No, no, no. A hurricane. A tornado, an explosion that would begin a whole new universe. Thats what it felt like. It felt like breathing, after drowning for centuries. It felt so real. So real it, it hurt, "I love you too Jerias." I search his eyes letting my words sink into him, "I love you... more than anything." I whisper cupping his cheeks and press my body against his, "So, so much." I breath out shutting my eyes pressing my face against his. And before I can speak again, he's already kissing me, delving into me. Allowing ourselves to truly become one. Allowing ourselves to finally love. Heaving, as our bodies pressed hard against each other, my face wet with quiet tears and his face desperately conveying his overwhelming feelings. Happiness shooting into my veins like drugs to become a high never felt before. He was touching me. Touching me, and without words he conveyed his everything to me.
I loved this man.
I love him.
"Get your suitcase," he tells me.
"What? Why?"
"We're leaving," he breaths against my face, "let's get out of here for a few days. We'll be alone."
"We-" I hesitate, "We can be together?"
His smile was small but heartfelt, "Yeah..."
"What about you?" The overwhelming emotions beginning to swim through me like massive waves, "What about work? And everyone else?" I start to panic slightly finding everything to be so unreal.
But Jerias who notices squeezes my hand then, looking me in the eyes solidly, "We can be alone Ines." He says deeply and carefully, "Work and everyone else... right now it doesn't matter," touching my mass of hair he smiles small, "They get in the way. It's just us now." He kisses my forehead and whispers again, "It's just us. Promise."
"Ah..." I chew on my lips and nod slowly before giving a weak smile, "D-Don't you need, like, clothes then. You should go pack."
"I've got clothes there already."
I smile and step back, "Okay..." my smile stretches as I stare into his hopeful blazing yellow eyes, "Okay..."
And I nearly run to my room and get my bag. I didn't realize I was crying when I did. But I kept laughing under my breath. He just said he loved me, I wasn't expecting that. I never even thought to suspect Jerias as a man to say the words 'I love you'.
It felt so good. So good. To hear him say that... I'll never forget it. Who knows if he'll say that aloud ever again.
I laugh a bit more and run downstairs, bag in hand. Where Jerias waited for me by the front door. We wasted no time getting into one of his cars, and we drove for hours. In calm silence and with gentle music playing in the background. My heart hammered in my chest the whole way and every now and then I'd glance over at Jerias. Watching him leaned back in the driver seat in his familiar sexy confidence, but with something new in his expression. It was so much brighter, less heavy. So beautiful. He was so beautiful.
"I love you," I whispered to him once while staring at him during the drive. The words came out instinctively and I apologized in embarrassment right after saying it, "Sorry. I'll probably say that a lot from now on. Sorry..."
Jerias looks a bit surprised, before his eyes brighten up the slightest, becoming glazed as they watched me. His smile came on smoothly and ached towards me. His atmosphere was soft, as soft as his touch when he reached out to me, how precious it was. And with out speaking he shared the words back to me. The gentle stroke of his thumb running across my chin, down my neck then back up to push a lock of my hair behind my ear. The vulnerability in his eyes would forever out weigh the sound of those words. For this was far more touchingly mesmerizing.
"So much..." I hush out again, "I love you so much."
And then it was silence and eventually I slept during the ride. In fact it was twelve when we got to our destination. The drive was nearly a four hour one.
"Woah Jerias? You own this or rent it?"
"Own it. Never really used it."
"Course you do," I laugh but reply dryly, "You have an unnecessary amount of money."
"I donate plenty of it Ines," he laughs then shuts the trunk after grabbing my bag, "Come on." I follow him to the lake house. Made fashionably of light brown wood and soft grey stone. It looked to be extremely comfy inside. The stars shined more clearly in the area here, and the large lake shimmered against the twinkling lights of the stars, and partially full moon. In side was a bit cool and nice compared to the warm summer heat in the current air outside. The floors were either covered with brown wood, or in soft black carpet. The place was the size of an average American medium income home, with a kitchen, a warm little living room, a play room. And one bedroom. Our bedroom.
"Oh that bed looks way to comfy," I turn around to Jerias who stood behind me with a small smile as he stared at me as if I was a child discovering new toys fulfilling a youthful adventure, "I promise you I'm taking most of the space dude.
"That's quite a large bed there Ines. You'd surprise me if you did. I mean you're big but-"
"Excuse me?!"
"Just kidding, just kidding" he drops the suit case besides the door and slips his arms around me hugging me from behind, and my stomach floats. I was far too surprised by the sudden movement to act normal, "You're a little thing," he lips dip into my neck. "Good luck overpowering me in bed tonight."
"I am certainly not little either," I manage to push out of his arms, "Where's the bathroom. I need to pee."
He raises a brow and points to the door left side of our room, "Right there. Would you like me to bring you something to eat?"
"No, I already ate remember," I call to him as I rush to the bathroom. I quickly sit on the toilet nearly falling into it as I do. I hear Jerias walk out as he leaves the room and sigh in relief, my loudly thumping heart calms. Why in the hell was I so nervous? I shouldn't be nervous, I wanted this, I mean I still do of course... oh my, but boy am I frightened. I was so inexperienced, all I know is that... with him I become so lost.
I stood up abruptly and walked around the large bathroom, trying to shake out my nervousness.
"You've got this. You've got this." I whispered frantically to myself. Breathing in and out deeply until eventually I faced the mirror and paused, "You've got this," I say one more time before I pull my hair up momentarily and start removing my clothes. Each layer that fell to the floor made me feel more and more vulnerable and exposed. And it wasn't until I was completely naked that I realized I had no change of clothes. Hurrying out back into my room I dish through my bag for some light pajamas. Deciding on a shear little gown. The less I wore the easier everything would be, I thought slyly to my self. I had little experience, the least I could do was be less annoying with all my clothing.
"Ines!"
I jump up into the air and stub my toe against the bed, "Ow! Fuck! What?!"
"What do you want to do now?" His voice sounds closer as he speaks and I knew he was returning back to the room. Instinctively I jump into the bed deciding to pretend I was asleep, and at that moment I realized that I was definitely not ready. I was just far to messy for this.
"Oh..." Jerias was now in the room, "Sleeping?"
"Mhmm..." I feign a tired voice, "That was a long ride."
Jerias doesn't say anything for some time and for some reason I can picture him laughing at me quietly, "Alright Ines. Rest well then, I'm just gunna ready myself for bed. I'll join you soon."
"Okay..." I fake a yawn, "Probably be sleep by then."
Jerias responds by flicking the light closed and then he leaves just to return a few minutes later.
Without turning on the light he shuts the door behind him and joins me in bed. I decide not to say anything and remain entirely still hoping he'd just think I'm sleeping by now. And it works. I hear him sigh and keep his distance from me, he lays flat on his back in bed completely relaxed and ready to sleep himself. It stays like that for so long, quiet and still, besides for my heart beating like drum I thought I had almost gotten away with it.
And then Jerias begins laughing. And I snap my eyes open in the night.
"I'm-" he barely breaths through his laughs, "I'm sorry. It's- It's just too funny."
"Are you okay?" I question.
"I'm fine-Ines. Are you alright?"
"What? Why... why wouldn't I be?"
"Ines I can tell you aren't asleep."
"Yeah. Well not now of course," my body heats from embarrassment after being caught, "I mean you just woke me up from your crazy laugh."
"Your blood is rushing far too much for you to be asleep, and your heartbeat is loud enough for a human to hear."
It took a moment for me to speak, "S-So what?"
"Ines you're nervous," Jerias reaches over me to click on the lamp on my side. And then leans back only a slight bit, looking at me with both concern and humor.
"I-" I consider lying again but he'll just know anyways, "I'm just a little... a little scared Jerias."
"Why?" He strokes my arm gently and the touch of his hand against my skin raises goose bumps.
"Because you feel so..." my voice is airy and quiet and my eyes drop to his lips, "You feel so good." He did, everything about him made me feel so good, "And I need you so bad, but I don't want to be that girl. I feel like-" I swallow and sniffle, "I feel like I'm bound to you, and any direction you go... I go. But, I can't be her, that girl. That person. I want to be yours but I want to belong to myself while doing so Jerias. You're a crazy man in case you hadn't noticed. I just..." I shake my head at him feeling unsure of myself, "I- I'm just scared that's all. Okay?"
"You will," Jerias's deep voice speaks clearly, "Ines? In case you haven't noticed, you've a very independent mind, no matter the circumstances I never could feel like you belong to me entirely."
"But I do Jerias..." I whisper, "The moment you chose me I was yours... Always. And forever."
Jerias looks to be contemplating with himself, "And because of that you're truly scared?"
I nod, "I mean it hurt for me for so long. It felt like this game, and I know it wasn't but it still felt like it... You were so indecisive. How could it not hurt?" I sit up now and run my fingers through my hair in slight frustration, "I love you Jerias but you can't hurt me any more." Tears brim my eyes before I can stop them, "I'll be strong enough for it if does. But I won't stay. It can't happen again."
"I could never leave you." He sits up too and his hand strokes up and down my back, "I could never leave you, look at me Ines," he turns my head by my chin, "I won't leave you. You talk of your belonging to me but you forget to know that I too am yours." He pauses a second then leans closer, "And the world will know of it. I promise you Ines, I'm not going anywhere."
"The world will know?" I ask in unwanted excitement. He keeps saying that. What did he mean by that? Is it what I think he means? Or am I being unnecessarily hopeful again.
He smiles softly and his hand comes over my cheek, his face less than an inch from mine now, "Yes," his eyes drop to my lips and I watch them blaze up into the gold, I'm close enough to notice the ring of red around his pupils, "Just to be safe, is it alright to kiss you now?"
I nearly shut my eyes at the tempting request, and instead of answering I breath out softly and lean forward slowly, the soft full texture of his warm lips almost makes me moan. His hand becomes stronger as he moves it around the back of my neck. And I nearly jump on top of him when his tongue flicks out. Pressing against my upper lip, warm and wet, and he deepens it, down into my mouth all the while gently nudging my back against the bed. And when I'm lying down flat he stops.
"I won't stop once we start," he warns me.
"Okay."
"So are you sure? About this, I know you're a virgin."
"Jerias so what? If I didn't want this I would've said no."
"I know but there's just no going back, that's all."
"Jerias I want this. It's fine. Keep going. Don't stop," I cup his face, "I don't want you too."
He narrows his eyes before smirking, "Okay. Whatever you say."
I smile back at him nearly rolling my eyes.
"How are you 19 and a virgin?"
"Keep talking shit, I'll be 27 and a virgin, watch." I warn him jokingly.
His mouth is pressed against my neck when he laughs lightly. "Kidding, kidding."
I smile, but without saying anything I feel it all over again. The beginning, the wash of waves, the peaceful feeling of belonging at home. Of happiness. My heart grows in my chest and becomes both light and heavy. Fluttering into my stomach, brightening up my emotions. I knew nothing of love before this, I knew nothing of desire. There was something deeply felt about this, something warm. And I was terribly frightened, but safe. 'The world will know'. Jerias was brave, just as I knew him to be... just as I always believed. He was a man that had a gentle hope to him, and kindness. Unbelievable kindness. Sometimes I wondered if he was so withdrawn and guarded just to hide the fact that he was so terribly vulnerable. Because I could see it, in his eyes. Always in his eyes. Intense and warm. Always. Even when void, they were always intense and warm. Ready to reveal the things about him he keeps hidden deep inside. Yet even then when the hope and vulnerability of him oozed beyond the guard he built, I'd always sensed the hollowness. The sort of sorrow that derived from an empty childhood he bared, or maybe derived from something he lost and couldn't find in another. Something I knew all to well. Loneliness. The first day he officially spoke to me, he'd talked to me about loneliness, spoken about needing a person, a friend. Yet here I am as his lover. We found each other after needing a person for so long, and I can only feel scared because he might just hurt me again, or I might become to dependent on his presence in my life?
"My mother told me once," I say quietly, "She said that people are too busy trying to survive on their own. Or filling their own emptiness with empty people."
Jerias looks at me and I almost thought he'd laugh but instead he just looks. With the the most heartfelt expression ever, and I smile at him softly to that same vulnerability of his.
"She said everyone forgets that we're just people. And one of the most important things we could do for one another is connect. Truly connect and love, because if anything, it's what we were always meant to do."
Jerias doesn't say anything and I reach out and touch him, he hovers over me holding his weight by his hand and arms. I sit up a bit to allow him more comfort, "Do you feel that Jerias?" I question.
"What?" He ask before answering, "Love?"
"No," I shake my head and lean in slightly, "Besides that. Something more. What do you feel between us? Right here right now. Always, when we're together, when we're apart... what do you feel?"
I was afraid to ask the question, afraid he'd say the wrong thing. Something about our bonding, because if he did then it meant he truly didn't feel what was deeper than just a bond. And no matter how shallow that may have sounded, I knew as a human, as a person, that any type of real bond or connection was built not just by blood or a mating connection amongst a species, but by love, it derived from it. So I was afraid, afraid of what he'd say. Afraid I'd be wrong, wrong and truly alone again.
But his lips part and he utters out the one word answer easily, "Hope."
Smiling with tears lining my eyes, I can feel my heart float into my stomach, "Hope huh? ..." I nod and kiss him, "I like that."
And our lips are no longer apart. The room quiet and dim with only the one lamp lit up. Precious white and beige sheets surrounding our bodies. And a sense of aspiration for the near future filling our heart with a sort of free love, like fresh air fills ones lungs after drowning for centuries. A free love we never had a chance at before, a feel for. Not even a peak.
It felt like a sort of exasperating beauty, the fact that we could now embrace each other entirely and freely. Allowing my lids to lift a bit, I catch a glimpse of Jerias's soft expression. The faint line between his brows, the long length of his eyelashes, the way his brows pulled in close at the feeling of ecstasy. He was beautifully enticing, and he left me in a desire to witness more of him. My hands slip down his bare stomach, tracing lightly over the band of his boxers. Teasing for a moment before I allowed my fingers to reach under the cloth, down against the soft texture of his sensitive skin. I lower the boxers completely until his member stuck out, raised and hardened already. I wrap my hands around him gently, giving slow tantalizing strokes, all while breaking our kisses just so I could hear the sweet sounds of his moans.
Jerias's face grows flustered and he looks me in the eye, glassy visioned and in pleasure before shutting it and I feel his strong figure tremble. He sighs deeply into my neck, "Uuh... Wait," he barely utters out, "Wait..." his hand finds mine around his length and he pulls it away.
He shakes his head at me then lifts my hand above my head. His own hands then move under my night gown, lifting the light cloth over my head and off my body. He strokes my thighs and I watch his eyes glance over hungrily to my neck before flicking away.
"You're hungry right?" I ask him.
To my surprise he shakes his head, "No blood tonight. Just me and you. Just us."
"But you haven't-"
"Doesn't matter Ines. Open your legs." His eyes darken and he lifts my knees higher to my chest. I can feel him pulling them farther apart and I allow him too. Suddenly remembering a lewd memory of something similar to this. He was so dangerously hungry and dark then. But it was terribly sexy. He made me want to be... bad. I wasn't sure of it all, but he left me in a place where I was waiting impatiently for what he'd do next. Everything he did felt so good, I was defenseless against him, just as I was now. My legs spread for him like his next meal.
He lowers his body until his head rest in between my legs, hovering right above the sensitive place between my thighs, he allows his fingers to find the area right behind my knee me gliding down slowly, curving into my inner thigh. I watch his lips part softly in a small 'o' as if in awe as his eyes leave mine to roam over my body. It made me feel flattered but embarrassed by how immersed he was in staring. My back arching up into the air as his finger runs over my slit once at a steady pace. My lips part as I suck in air quickly. Gasping at the sensation of his touch. Jerias's head lowers further and his lips are a feathery light touch against me. Brushing gently against me and then stopping all together. My body, which had been squirming underneath his muscular mass, stops moving as soon as his lips do. And without looking at him, I wait frozen for him just as he'd probably want me to do. The wait is precious and certainly worth it, when the feel of his long strong fingers plunge into me. Deeply.
I reach my hand out immediately diving my fingers into his hair.
"Oh-oh... Jerias... yes..." I manage to get out after letting out a muffled cry.
In return Jerias remains nonreactive, observing my response to his intense play, the ominous expression in his eyes sexily heavy against my skin. And then his lips curve slowly, that smile was one I knew too well. The kind that held ultimate power and control and everything about it.
His fingers pulls out and then in, his thumb pressing against my hardened bud, his smile only becomes more pleased when I quiver, my legs trembling against his shoulders.
"You're already so wet," He says, the tone of his voice dipped in a dark sweetness as his said the words only making me more embarrassed, lewd and all the more heated. His head even cocks a bit to the side in sexy curiosity "Do you want it that bad?" But he speaks as if he knows I do. His fingers begin to pull out completely. Moving over to wrap around my thigh with untamed strength, holding my vulnerability firmly to his will. And his lips press just underneath my belly button. Journeying down slowly until they reach a most sensitive spot, sharing warm kisses. Running his wet tongue over me continuously. My back is arched into the air, my head turned to the side and my vision blurred and unfocused by the pleasure. My fingers digs into his short wavy locks, and the vibration of his groan runs through me when I grip his hair tightly
The sensation of it all both, sweet and intense. Building me up to its brink. Until I've lost control, my hand pressed against my lips to muffle the sounds I was making because I was far too loud.
"Jerias..." I beg, "Wait... w-wait, stop."
He ignores my plea but I insist on arguing my case. I attempt to shut my thighs together but my strength is nothing against Jerias's, "Plea... I'm- I'm gonna-"
I can feel his lips stretch into a smile before the feel of my climax hits me full force. My cry is loud and high pitched before softening into nothing, and my body shakes in small shocks in his strong hands. And Jerias only rises above me, watching me both hungrily and satisfied. And I peak over at him through hooded lids to see in his eyes the danger, the look that tells me I'm his, and he was only just getting started. Hazy and burning, lowered lids, and intensity oozing out of them. The kind of look that makes even a confident girl shy. I turn away from him and shut my eyes tightly slipping my hands in between my thighs when he lets them go, I curl to my side still trembling slightly and let out a small sound. My other hand reaches out to hold onto the arm Jerias used to hold his weight up and off of me.
He cooes gently to me then, pressing his lips against my ear, "You're enticing when you cum," he whispers to me.
I still don't look at him, I only shut my eyes tighter. Dear God I was scared of that man but yet so heavily attracted to him. He placed me under his spell every time. And every time I am readily at his will.
"Tired Ines," he calls my name sexily, "Getting a little weak?" His hand finds the back of my neck while his lips find my shoulder. And he rubs me tenderly down my back, soft strokes that raises goosebumps over my skin and creates a shudder through my being. And so I sigh feeling my body loosened for him already, but I still lay on my side.
"I hope not," Jerias says amused, "Tired that is... we're only just getting started."
I move to my stomach then, making my body as small as possible.
"Go ahead," Jerias nearly laughs, then his hands dig in between the mattress and my stomach. The palm of his hands running down until, once again they're in between my legs and my body, as if on its own accord, allows for more room for him to touch. My butt sticking out slightly pressing against his lower abdomen, "Mm. You like it like that?" He kisses my back softly, taking his sweet time to unfold me to him, like the dangerously patient man he was.
But I had been bared to him long ago,
My face buries into the pillow to muffle the sounds I was making. I was overly sensitive to his touching strokes now, and I knew at any moment I would cum again. So I turn around lying on my back facing Jerias.
I reach out to touch his face, feeling his soft warm lips run over my fingers. His eyes shut temporarily, and his handsome unsmiling features changes a bit, heavy with emotions as if he knew something had shifted just then. Less with sexy amusement more of sexy darkness. And innocence. Which I knew was contradictory but it was there. It was always there. Pleasure for Jerias was always dark, always heavy with power, but pure. Pure and innocent. Raw. And I loved that about him.
"Jerias," I breathe out and his eyes come alive to me when his lids lift back open, "I want to feel you inside of me."
Jerias blows air softly as he breathes heavily but says nothing. Only looks at me, calmly. So I don't wait for him. I position my self perfectly underneath him, and allow my legs to spread. I feel his hands slide down my body until they reach my leg and he lifts one of them higher.
"Are you scared?" He ask me and I know that when he reaches his other hand down I know it's to place his member right against me.
I swallow and shake my head, "You're kinda big," I joke but not really, "But I'm okay."
Jerias doesn't laugh at my joke, but I wasn't expecting him to. I don't have time myself to even think to deeply about it when I feel the tip of him push inside of me a bit and I gasp, gripping my hand on his shoulders.
"Oh!" I breathe out.
"This will hurt Ines." He tells me but it sounds unsympathetic more rather matter a fact.
"Jerias your bites hurt." I tell him.
His eyes drop to my neck immediately when I say this before he looks back at me. Still unsmiling. Still beautifully intense. Still daring. And then he thrust his hips forward at a steady speed.
"O-Oh! Okay! Yeah..." I hiss, "that hurts a little bit."
"Is it bad?" He ask sounding bit more concerned this time.
I breathe out weakly and shake my head, "It's fine." Stroking his arms with assurance I tell him, "Just keep going..."
He does. Easily in fact and without reluctance and I don't know whether to laugh at him or cry.
I keep from sounding out any hints of pain by biting my lip. Jerias on the other hand groans in pleasure. And turns his head to the side a bit as he shuts his eyes slightly. I feel his hand tighten around the back of my thigh and the other reaches out to the head board.
He looked so beautiful. The pain was more than evident to me but... with every thrust he gave, the deeper and farther the pleasure brought him. And it showed, in the way his lips parted into that perfect 'o' and his eye brows pulled together in that desperate and sexy look. This was the pure rawness of him I knew of. The untamed sexual side of him. I knew he loved this, I knew it pleased him, and for that I was overly satisfied. I watch as his eyes open again and he turns to look at me. A soft crease evident in between his brows, his hand moves from around my legs and to my hips, where he grips and and both lifts me up against him. My own hand grips the sheets and my head is thrown back leaving my neck completely bared. Jerias begins rocking his hips, back and forth and I feel his length run in and out of me, I feel the sensation of pain begin to reside, and my eyes close softly.
His strokes I notice are still soft, as if he was containing himself still and I didn't want that. I wanted him to give me his all, his everything. So I let go of the sheets, and wrap my arms around his shoulders, and his body lowers until I feel all of his weight entirely on me, his head buried in between my neck and shoulder.
"Give me everything Jerias," I sigh out softly to him and then I lift my lids staring at the ceiling above, "I want all of you." My legs wrap around his hips and Jerias groans again pulling his arm around my waist.
And that's when his thrust become stronger, the sweet 'haa' sounds he made become louder. My pain residing completely until there was only pleasure and I hold onto him tighter, but Jerias lifts his body a little just to watch me. And I allow him too, for the act is only mutual. My eyes drop to his lips just before he bends down to kiss me.
Everything sounds and feels to vivid. Hearing him moaning, feeling him inside me. Hearing the sounds of the bed creaking as I felt it rocking, hitting the wall with every inwards thrust. His hands tight and strong around my body, running over me every second like he was trying to memorize me. His lips soft and moist as he kissed me. And then his grunts sexy, masculine and pure. His mouth parts from my own a bit, and as if on cue with my thoughts he groans out loud with a trembling, deep yet soft voice, "Ah fuck," he says against my lips. I watch his expression become more pure. His lips parting into the perfect 'o' again. And I knew he was going to cum soon. I run my hands down his back, excited for the moment, and moaning softly as I kiss his thick neck.
"Cum for me baby," I tell him. He rocks into me a few more times before he does, and his back caves, his head sinking into my shoulder again, and he moans loudly, his body shaking pleasantly. Leaving me in awe at his honest reaction. He gives one final thrust again and I too reach him into climax moments later. His hands hugs my waist as he breaths heavily, his body becoming limp, but his length still inside me. And I only stroke his hair gently waiting for him to completely relax.
Jerias to my surprise laughs a bit.
"What?" I whisper.
He lifts himself and holds his weight by his elbows, "I just can't believe you said that." He tells me humor in his eyes and a small smile across his face.
"Said what?"
"Cum for me baby?" He smirks with a raised brow now.
I feel my face heat a bit at the comment but smile still, "Would you rather I called you daddy instead of baby. Hm? Cum for me daddy?" I watch as Jerias grins but the look in his eyes becomes dark and heavy so I know he likes it, "Does sound dirtier doesn't it? Like role playing." I stare at his lips licking my own, "Do you like role playing?"
"Are you asking for another round Ines?"
I laugh my eyes shutting as a do, "Trust me Jerias." I shake my head, "I'm definitely not."
He shakes his head smiling at me then lies on his back without saying anything. So I stare at the ceiling in the momentary silence. Not sure for how long it'll last. It's the heavy sigh that exudes out of Jerias that lets me know he was planning on telling me something. But only just taking a moment to think about it perhaps. Thinking terrible beautiful thoughts with his terrible beautiful mind.
"I'm sorry Ines," he utter out, just as I imagined he would.
I shut my eyes smiling and pull the sheets tighter against my body, "It's okay Jerias," I only say, "You don't have to apologize."
"I hurt you."
"You were hurting too."
"I... I was scared."
I reach my hand into his and clasp our fingers together, "And that's okay," turning my head I gaze at his carefully crafted by God himself features and fall in love with him all over again. Jerias had a kind of sad sort of eyes I noticed. The sweet down slope of the outer corners, I always favored that the most out of his looks. Beautiful, sad, intense eyes, "I'm with you."
Jerias clears his throat then, "There was a trial," he starts, "a man who'd been outed by his wife for being romantically involved with his Amaranthine." Now a pause and then, "When we asked him if he wanted to plead guilty he agreed. We offered to spare him the prison sentence if he didn't and he still refused. So the choice was made that...he'd get life in prison."
"So no death." I say sarcastically, "As if life in prison was supposed to make it all okay."
"The a majority vote from the council made it so that was no longer allowed last month." He says surprising me only a little.
But eith I feel myself growing irritated and I keep from rolling my eyes, "Why are you telling me this? To warn me?" I whisper almost angrily, "I've had enough of them Jerias. I get it. Okay-"
"Do you know who that man was Ines?"
"I really don't-"
"Sulana's husband."
"...What?" I breathe out shocked.
Jerias pulls us closer together and gazes at me, "She reported him... But that isn't what changed my mind... In fact it made me more fearful. I wasn't sure what the Being thought I'd do after that but it certainly wasn't anything better." Jerias swallows then, "Maybe it was my father."
"Your father?"
"He... he did the same thing. The Being admired his bravery, his strength, his awakened knowledge to know right from wrong, to know his true love and so they spared his life. They will spare Sulana's husbands life as well. It is common... common for a Nosferatu to run and hide rather than to face death. Or prison... It's uncommon for one to be so... brave."
"My father was brave, but he hid. He'd been given a chance to live and continue to thrive to change the way of things here but instead he chose to hide. It made me wonder how far does bravery go. Is there a limit? When does it become insanity. When does love drive a person to be mad? How crazy can they become?"
Jerias pauses, "Love can make a person very crazy," then he smiles and looks at me when his messy hair and warm eyes, "And if there is one thing I know about you it was that your love makes me terribly insane Ines."
I smile back at him and shake my head. I knew exactly what he was talking about, I knew what he was saying. He was going to try, for real, and his words touched my heart dearly, "Maybe," I shrug, "Maybe it just makes you strong," I stroke his cheek and whisper, "Cause love can do that too you know. Love can make a person the strongest they've ever been."
Jerias's lips curve a tiny bit into a warm smile before falling, and then his lids lower nearly almost shutting. He eyes me carefully and I'm overwhelmed by his loving stare. His hand comes over my arm, around my shoulder, brushing my neck, cupping my face until he leans forward and his soft lips press against mine, softly whispering I love you bordering something wet and hungry, "You're amazing." He tells me, "You have such a good heart."
I heat up in embarrassment at the comment and I shake my head not quite sure what to say back, "Yeah...?" I smile, "That was almost as good as saying I love you."
Jerias grins and kisses me harder, "You can't wait to hear me say that again can you."
"I'll survive," I joke to him, "I just hope you'll survive me saying it to you like every three seconds."
"Please don't."
"Can't make any promises," I sing softly. I want to ask Jerias why Lana did it but I hold back from doing so only because I don't want spoil our comforting mood. Part of me hurts deeply for her in a way. But isn't properly surprised. Sadly, I have to admit it was expected...
Sighing I curl against Jerias's chest, "I do love you though Jerias. If..." my thoughts makes me shiver, "If I lost you I don't know what I would do."
"As I feel for you," Jerias exclaims gently, "But we don't need to worry about that love... I can promise you that much."
"Okay," I smile then add jokingly, "I'll believe you if you tell me you love me one more time..."
Jerias's strong chest vibrates with soft laughter, "Oh Ines..." he simply sighs. And then pauses before the soft whisper of the words stroke against my skin like warmth and silk, "I do love you. So much." He tells me.
Just to me. And so it was just as the sky... dark, full of beautiful stars, and a breathtaking shape of a moon, remaining unknown to us mere walkers of earth. Like Jerias. Beautiful and unknown. Broken, and more human than I'd ever be but yet, still no where near it. So it was with elegant curving lines that connected his fragile stories to my own.
So he tells me he loves me... with his touch, and his eyes, his lips. His words.
And I am entirely his all over again. And this time... will be the last time.
.
.
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Word Count: lololol 9070 you just really read all that bro.
Been quite awhile since I wrote such a long chapter. Ahh. Feels good. Sounds weird but I hate short chapters, those 2,000-3000 word chapters are sooo... short. When I wrote them I felt like they lacked details that could've been further added, I mean of course yeah it depends on the chapter but still... I dunno. I just like long chapters.
What do you think? Shorter ones or longer ones?
Also how do you feel about this chapter? What do you think will happen now that Ines and Jerias are moving towards their happily ever after. Will a slice of life crash into a world of fantasy?