Litterally at this time, no one is reading this fic and that's okay, but it's a bummer. I still publish as much as I said I will so I'm doing my part lol.
The song is Reason To Stay by Good Charlotte ft. Simon Neil
Two weeks later
Petal
I haven't spoken more than ten words to Silas a day, and I've ignored Allies' calls. It isn't right of me to do this, and I know that, but it hurt.
I didn't know if they were just messing around or if it meant anything to them. I was afraid to ask. It was knocking me off of my game sometimes.
For the third song of the night I smiled at the crowd, "We've been planning this since the American tour, and as our last couple nights in Canada; I'm going to ask Alex Gaskarth to come sing with me to a duet that had been on our EP." Alex walks out, and the crowd goes wild.
"Woke up a million miles away from who I am
Like when we stayed up every Saturday 'til 4am
But the times they change around here, don't they?
Cause some things never change, like the things you say." My heart breaks singing about Silas and Allies relationships with me.
"I keep searching for a reason to stay
And everything you do just pushes me away
I'ma' keep on trying cause we've been here before
I'ma' keep on trying cause I said I won't let you go again
So I'm just searching for a reason to stay right here." I continue.
"Woah-oh-oh-oh, woah-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh
Give me a reason to stay
Woah-oh-oh-oh, woah-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh
Give me a reason." Alex belts it out beautifully, and I hold his hand.
We harmonize; "Woke up a million miles away from who we were
I really thought I had it made, yeah, I was sure
But the times they change around here, don't they, babe?
I got my mind made up and I'm staying right here, babe."
"I keep searching for a reason to stay
And everything you do just pushes me away
I'ma' keep on trying cause we've been here before
I'ma' keep on trying cause I said I won't let you go again
So I'm just searching for a reason to stay right here." His voice made my heart melt at the accoustics of Silas' guitar.
"All of the things we said
They keep running around
Around in my head
Around in my head
Oh, all of the things we said
Keep on running around
Around in my head
Around in my head again, again, again
Now I can let go" Alex kisses my cheek softly at the end of that bridge before we harmonize the rest of the song.
"I keep searching for a reason to stay
And everything you do just pushes me away
I'ma' keep on trying cause we've been here before
I'ma' keep on trying cause I said I won't let you go again
So I'm just searching for a reason to stay right here
"Woah-oh-oh-oh, woah-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh
Give me a reason to stay
Woah-oh-oh-oh, woah-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh
Give me a reason to stay."
I hug Alex and he says thank you to the crowd before walking off and we head into St. Patrick.
I get off stage and kiss Alex softly. "I love you, Gaskarth."
"I love you, Shay." He kisses me again and then pouts, "My tummy hurts."
"Alex, I'm not going to kiss your stomach in public, but I would." Instead I rub it gently. "You gotta go out there and play a kick ass show."
He puts his ear piece in, and kisses me again on the cheek. "You have to make up with Silas sometime."
"That time is not this time." I roll my eyes and push him away. "You're going to do great." I call after him and kiss Jacks cheek quickly.
I had been spending most of my time with them on their bus instead, not only because it's bigger, but also because I didn't want to talk to Silas, who kept trying to talk to me, but I was going to be stuborn.
Allie tried talking to me too, but I didn't want anything to do with her right now either. I knew that Silas would talk to her outloud now, because Gavin would mention it, trying to get me to forgive him, but I wasn't ready to.
After Remembering Sunday, in All Time Lows' dressing room, I had gotten a call from LA, and answered immediately. "Hello?"
"Yes, is this Petal Shay?" A male voice asks.
"Yes, who is this speaking?"
"This is Doctor Drummel, I'm here with your mother Alison Shay," He lists the hospital, "I'm afraid that she has stroked out after having a seizure. We have her in the ICU to keep watch on her as she continues to have them." Zack looked at me worriedly as a tear streams down my face.
"From my understanding of the nurses in the Assisted Living Center, you're on tour in Canada, we promise to take very good care of her, but could you get a flight out? We will more than likely discharge her in a matter of days."
I feel like I've been hit by a bus, as my stomach clenches. Discharge in a matter of days, but what's wrong? What caused this? What causes seizures? How can I help my mother? God, why now? Why ever?
"Yes sir, thank you. I'll catch the next flight with my brother." I hang up, and wipe away my tears.
"What's wrong?" Zack asks, clearly worried as he hugs me.
"My mother seized and had a stroke. She's in the ICU, being watched like a hawk, because she keeps having them."
"Hey, hey, it's going to be okay." Zack promises, "I'll book you and Silas a flight, you go talk to Silas."
I nod and go to find Silas, tears clouding my vision. I needed Alex, but he was in the shower, and I didn't exactly favor seeing Jack naked again and again, and I don't want to see Rian naked either, or get a wet hug from anyone.
I go into my dressing room, a crying mess. "Where's Silas?" I ask Gavin, who was sitting on the couch. Immediately he jumps up, seeing my makeup smeared and tear soaked face, hugging me.
"What happened?" Andy asks urgently, getting up too. "Did someone hurt you?"
"No guys, where's Silas?"
"Hey I'm right here," he says, coming out of the bathroom, "What's wrong?"
"Moms in the hospital and we have to go see her." Is all I say. "We'll be back in three days tops." I tell Walter.
"We'll keep you updated." Silas promised.
"She had a seizure and a stroke, and then another seizure. She's in the ICU being looked after in LA." I hug the boys, "I love you. Stay here, okay? I'd like to stay on the tour."
"We love you too, but is touring a good idea?"
"It's the only thing keeping my mind off of anything." My lips curl up slightly, but I still had been hurting. Was mother going to die?
"She's going to be okay, don't worry." Someone promises.
Silas grabs his things from the dressing room, and I go to All Time Lows, knocking before going in. They're all in there now, and Alex hugs me tightly, and wipes my face gently with his thumbs. "I'm sorry." I cry.
"It's going to be okay, and don't be sorry." He tells me, "We will finish up in Canada, I'm sure we can call Simple Plan or a local band, and I'll meet you in England. I promise. It's alright. You need to be with your mother."
I nod and he kisses me softly, "Your flight is in an hour in a half, Alex can drive you two to the airport. I emailed you the ticket information." Zack coos, and I hug him.
"Thank you very much, Zack." I kiss his cheek, and hug the boys that had sympathetic eyes before taking Alexs hand and going to the bus to quickly pack my things so we could meet back in England and not have to worry about getting things from the bus again.
"Princess, I know you don't want to talk about it, but we have to." Alex starts, "You don't have to talk to Silas about what happened with Allie, but you need to talk to him, okay? He's hurting too. Promise me that you'll be there for him."
"I promise, Alex." I squeeze his hand, and try not to cry any more than I already have. I want to be able to see. I want to be able to breathe.
"Thank you." He kisses my head before we get in and hurry to pack, which really wasn't much to do, since I'm a very tidy person. I grabbed my chargers from Alexs bus, and the hoodie from his back, since he just threw one on, and we head out with Silas in the back seat.
We rode in tense silence, with Alexs hand on my thigh for comfort and Silas in the back seat. I was very glad my phone was fully charged, and I was glad both of my earbuds worked, and even happier that I was exhausted and that I had anxiety medication in my purse.
We got there fifteen minutes before my flight, and Alex got out of the van to kiss me goodbye and to hug me again. "Remember your promise, baby. I love you."
"I love you too."
Bags checked and boarded the plane, Silas thought it was time to talk to me about Allie.
"Listen Silas." I growl, "I don't want to talk about that. Not now. Don't bring it up right now."
"When is the time?"
"When mother is out of the hospital, when Allie gives me an actual answer other than that she loves you, because did she even care about our friendship? Did she love me? Does she respect me? Because not telling me after three years? I deserve to know." I snap. "And I wonder the same thing about you."
Before he can say anything, I put both of my sound canceling headphones in my ear and press play, listening to Woven In Hiatus for this seven hour flight. We would get there in the morning.
I log onto the bands twitter before having to turn my phone on airplane mode. I wrote a quick note in my phones notepad and tweet it.
CatchMeWeepingBand: Pic.twitter/jgkskt.com
Hello there;
I'm very sorry to annouce that for the rest of the Canadian tour, Catch Me Weeping will not be present do to Silas and Is' mother being in the hospital. We apologize for the inconvenience and plan to come back sometime!
Thank you so much for all that you loves do, and the strength that you give us. We would not be on this tour without you. We are beyond greatful for that.
We will still be attending the London shows, and the rest of the tour as planned, as soon as our Mother gets out. She has been a mother to all four of us, and a helpful hand.
I hope that you'll forgive us Canada, but it's not an intentional thing for us to miss the next few dates.
-Much love, Catch Me Weeping
I would not be ready for what is to come next, upset fans, or seeing my mother sick.