WE HAD TO DRIVE a couple towns over for good measure to stop for the night. The only stop we made in that little town was at the convenience store to grab a real paper map. I hadn't used one in a long time, but I found relearning how to use it was a lot easier than the GPSes. They could break down easily or get you off track, and this map was easy to follow. I only hoped that it was accurate.
The hotel we ended up at wasn't as nice as the one we were originally going to stay in, but it wasn't like we had any other choice.
My senses were still heightened when we walked into yet another motel room. My encounter with that agent was relatively uninteresting but since we ad left her alive, I was afraid she was going to find us. I didn't know what was better the guilt of taking a life or this fear of being found. But deep down inside I knew I did the better thing.
I thoroughly checked the room for anything suspicious even though no one could have really known we were going to stay here for the night. The room was clear, as I knew it would be, and it eased my worries a little bit.
Jack flopped back on one of the beds and reached for the television remote and flipped it on. I was far too keyed up to sit back and relax. Adrenaline was rushing through my veins, ready for anything that could happen. I paced in front of the window, burning off this energy and on my toes if they found us.
I started to think about if we would actually ever be safe again. The government didn't seem like it wanted to let me out of its grip and I wasn't exactly going to let them find me. Or willingly let them take me. I didn't know what they would do to me and I was afraid to find out. If any movie ever was true, the government never had anything good in mind when they wanted to find out why someone was different. Mutant. Defective.
Thinking negatively and doubting our abilities wasn't a road I wanted to go down, but I was afraid. I wondered what we would find in Washington. Would we find the answers we were looking for? Or would we just be left with even more questions? What if my initial gut feeling was right and we just find some greasy, acne-ridden teenager behind a computer screen in his parents' basement? What if this was all for nothing? What if I uprooted mine and Jack's life for nothing at all?
What if?
"What are you doing?" Jack asked. He was lounged casually, looking just as at ease as I when we were at his apartment only three weeks ago.
I stopped my pacing and looked at him. "I'm just lost in thought." Spiraling thoughts. Thoughts threatening to tear apart any confidence I had in us.
"What are you thinking about?"
I opened my mouth to tell him. I wanted to tell him, but I also didn't want to burden him with my own doubts. So I closed my mouth and stared at him.
He patted the empty area next to him. "Come here."
My energy was still running high but I wouldn't say no to curling up next to him. It might calm me down. I walked over to the bed and climbed under the sheets. He was nice and warm through his t-shirt and jeans. His chest made a really comfortable pillow, too.
"Nothing," I said against his chest. "I was thinking about nothing important."
He made a noise that vibrated through his chest and my head. "Okay. Are you hungry? We never got to eat." He shifted his hand to my arm and started lazily moving his hand up and down the length of my forearm. It was a comforting, relaxing motion.
My stomach answered for me. "You read my mind."
Jack went searching for a list of take out places while I took over the job of flipping through channels. My muscles were still tensed and ready for a fight, but for the brief moment that Jack and I laid here it made me a little calmer.
I landed on a channel that was playing reruns of a nineties sitcom about six friends and their adventures. The show made me smile. Mother and I tried this show out for a few seasons, but life became busy and we lost touch with it. The familiar set and laughter from the studio audience reminded me of her. There was what was becoming all too recognizable tinge of pain as I watched and remembered her, but it didn't hurt as bad as it did at the restaurant.
Jack pulled out a menu with a triumphant look on his face. "Aha! How does Chinese food sound?" He wiggled the paper in the air.
"I think that sounds amazing."
His eyes lit up even brighter as he turned to the phone and took both of our orders. After Jack hung up the phone, he sauntered back over to the bed and curled up next to me again. I wiggled my way back to the position we were in before he got up.
Something about Jack made me comfortable with him. Something about his touch, his warmth, the vibes he was putting off made me comfortable. It was peculiar how fast I got comfortable around him. Before he came along, I was afraid of talking with the person at the checkout counter. I was afraid of my own shadow but now I felt a little bit more fearless because of him. Mother was right. I needed someone for after. I needed him; he was good for me.
I knew if she was here she'd be happy. There was a part of me that knew she was happy. Out of pain, able to move and do what she wanted, and is up in heaven with Father. Together again at last.
The knock at the door yanked me out of my reverie. Without any words, I crept to the bathroom while Jack went to the door, tossing a baseball cap on his head. It was just about the worst attempt at disguise ever but our options were limited. I listened through the bathroom door to their conversation for anything that was off. Fortunately, the delivery driver sounded normal enough and without any red flags.
I walked back out of the bathroom and saw that Jack had his arms full of Chinese take-out boxes.
"Wow. I didn't realize we ordered so much food," I said.
"Me either. I hope you're hungry."
He set the food down on the desk and we divided it up. I snatched a set of chopsticks before padding over to the bed. When I was in my twenties, Mother and Father decided to take a trip to China. I learned quickly how to use chopsticks while we were there. That was a fun trip. We promised we would do it again but no one ever made the plans. Jack settled down next to me and smiled.
"Good pick on the show," he commented, nodding towards the television. "I love this episode."
The characters on the show were competing for something, I didn't have the faintest clue for what, and they were doing so in a jeopardy-like game.
"I'm not sure if I've ever seen this one."
"Like I said, it's a great one."
I nodded and we lapsed back into silence while eating and watching the back-to-back reruns of this show.
Even though it seemed like a lot of food at first, we ended up eating all of it. Jack pulled out the fortune cookies and handed me one. I hated the taste of the cookies and only liked the fortunes inside. I broke mine open and tossed the cookie aside, keeping the slip of paper. I flipped it over to the side that had the fortune in English and read it.
Accept your past without regrets. Handle your present with confidence. Face your future without fear.
Something about it spoke to me in a way I couldn't recognize. I folded the slip of paper up and set it on the nightstand. Jack was still chomping on his cookie with his eyes trained on the television. We curled back up together and soon, my eyes started to drift closed.
My dreams were vivid as I slept. More vivid than they had been in weeks.
It was dark and the air was heavy. It had either just rained or a storm was on its way. I couldn't tell which it was. The moonlight fought its way through the tree branches and gave a pale light to the small path on was on. There was a ragged noise and it took a second for me to realize it was coming from me. My legs felt shaky from the running. I felt something else, too. A strange, overwhelming sense of déjà vu.
My surroundings felt familiar. Like I have been here before. In another dream or something.
Another feeling threatening to overwhelm me was fear. They would catch up to me soon and standing around here wasn't helping me.
I shifted my feet and turned around to run off again, but a sight behind a bush between two trees made me stop in my tracks.
A boy with vibrant blue eyes was watching me. Or was he watching over me? Instead of staying hidden behind the brush he took a brave step into the moonlight. The dim light reflected off his dark hair and the strands seemed shine red.
He reached out to me and opened his mouth to say something when someone grabbed him and yanked him backwards back into the darkness. I was left standing alone in shock.
I opened my mouth to scream.
"Violet. Violet!" Jack was shaking me. Hard.
My eyes flew open and I looked around the dark room, disoriented. He was hovering over me and my heart was hammering in my chest. Just like in my dream, I was out of breath and I couldn't seem to catch it. "What? What's going on?" I could barely see his silhouette in the dark.
"You were screaming and crying in your sleep. You wouldn't wake up. Are you okay?"
I was suddenly aware of how wet my cheeks were. "I'm not sure. That was a really weird dream." I thought back to how the boy who protected me disappeared into the blackness. Even though it was a dream, I wondered if he would ever come back.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Despite the lack of light, my eyes were finally adjusting. I was able to make out more details of his face and body. His eyes seemed to glow the brightest in the dark. Eyes similar, if not the same, to the ones from my dream.
"I-I think you were there," I said.
"Oh?"
"I was running from something – no, someone – and then I-I stopped for some reason? I had this overwhelming sense of fear that They were about to catch up with me and then I saw a boy – you, I think – and he was about to say something." I stopped. The boy being grabbed into the endless darkness came to life again behind my eyelids. "Then They grabbed him and pulled him into the darkness. That's all I remember."
"Wow," he whispered.
I nodded, opting against speaking.
Neither of us said anything for a few minutes. Instead, I tried to get my heart rate down and my breathing back to normal. Jack was still hovering over me and I could feel his chest against mine. His arms were on either side of me, one bent which made his face so close to mine. He was so, so close. But not in a bad way.
We hadn't done or talked about any sort of romantic gestures since we kissed a few nights ago. Now he was inches away from me and all I could think about was his lips and defined chest and how I wanted his arms wrapped around me.
My thoughts scared me a bit. I wasn't used to wanting, needing, someone like this. Needing someone in more than a family or friend way. My body craved, lusted after, things I had hardly thought about outside of reading it in books or seeing it in movies. I thought I was destined to live my life alone after Mother was gone, but Jack was right here, so close, and so right.
I reached a shaky hand out to where his throat sloped into shoulders and moved it down his arm to his bicep. To his flexed, defined bicep.
"Thank you." My voice came out shaky and soft and nervous.
"For what?" His voice was just as husky and it sent a shiver down my spine.
There was electricity in the darkness between us. The dark seemed to bring something more to our relationship. His skin was so soft under my skin and I wondered if his chest and stomach was just as smooth.
"Everything." I looked down at his lips then back up at his eyes. "For staying."
"I told you, Violet. It's not a big–" I cut him off by leaning up those last few inches and kissing him.
"Regardless. Thank you." I laid my head back down on the pillow and never broke eye contact with him. He seemed to know what I wanted and he crossed that distance again and pressed his lips to mine.
I slid my hand back up his arm to the back of his neck. I pulled him closer and as I did so, his hands slipped on the sheets and he fell down on top of me. He muttered an apology, but I just laughed and went back to kissing him. He wrapped his arms around me and rolled us over. Soon I was laying on top of him and I could feel every inch of his body. Some parts more than others. Some parts made me smile against his lips as I felt him.
Headlights flashed across the window and I shot up and away from him in a split second. My heart started pounding again. Jack was still laying on the bed, staring at me with shock.
"Violet," he said, his voice breaking the silence and trance we were in.
"What?"
"How did you move so fast?"
I was still frozen across the room. My heart was thudding in my chest, but for a different reason than a second ago. The fear was back, reminding me that I could never fully escape it. I didn't answer Jack because quite honestly, I didn't have an answer for him.
I knew I shot up off of him but I didn't try to move at the speed I did. It just happened. Though it was peculiar, my worries were still on the headlights than shined directly into our room. I crept towards the window, fear-fueled curiosity leading me.
"Violet." Jack repeated.
I shushed him and carefully pulled the curtain back from the window. The only car in the parking lot with headlights on was some sort of red truck that had a drunk man stumbling out of it. Outside of the truck there was only a couple of other cars in the lot, ours included, and none of them were black. I looked back at the truck, more closely examining the man. He was easily hammered and trying to help some woman, who was provocatively dressed, out of the cab and towards their motel room. I saw a flash of a wedding ring against the headlights and something told me that woman wasn't his wife.
I let the curtain fall closed and turned back to Jack. "It was just a drunk idiot with his brights on." I said, moving towards the bed.
Jack was sitting up on the bed now and he watched me with concerned eyes. I sat down next to him and pulled the messy sheets up over my legs.
"I don't know," I finally said. "It just happened."
Jack didn't comment. Instead, he wrapped an arm around me and pulled me backwards until we were both laying down again.
"It's just another thing to find answers for," I whispered.
I felt Jack nod his head. "We'll get them. I promise."
The last thing I was aware of was Jack kissing the top of my head before I succumbed to sleep.