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Every single limb hurts. Keeping my eyes closed, I try to move, but everything hurts, my arms, legs, stomach and head. My eyelids are too heavy and my throat is sore. I roll over, searching in blindness for Phoenix, but when I find the bed empty, and finally I open my eyes. I can tell it’s light outside because the sun shines through the cracks of the blinds. Classes have begun for the day, and Fred is probably worried about me. I disappeared in the middle of the night as he slept, and didn’t return in time for breakfast and classes. But for once I don’t care about classes, even if I did, I won’t be able to do anything about it. I can hardly move without whining. Using my arms, I push myself up in a sitting position, resting my back against the headboard of Phoenix’s bed. He had been so sweet last night, taking care of me after what Gideon had done. He held me in his arms all night, whispering calming words to me and kissing the top of my head repeatedly until I fell asleep.
I hadn’t really noticed his room last night, but now I notice it. It is kept in very dark and gloomy colors; a lot of black and brown, and with the blinds down, it is even darker. The atmosphere in the room is a little weird, I usually hate being in dark rooms like this; it depresses me a lot, which is why all of my psychiatrists’ offices are kept in bright colors. Usually the dark colors would make me shut up, this is also the reason my mother always went shopping with me, making sure I wouldn’t buy any clothes in dark colors. She had also gone through my closet throwing out every single piece of black clothing I owned. But for some reason it doesn’t bother me as much that Phoenix’s room is so dark, I feel safe in here.
In comparison to my room, this room is quite large. It’s really not fair. I share a room half this size with another girl, and then Phoenix get a room this size all to himself. It looks like he doesn’t know what to do with the space. He doesn’t have a lot of furniture. There’s the king-size bed I’m sitting in at the moment, a desk and a wooden dresser. Other than that the room is empty.
The door creaks, and Phoenix steps in the room, smiling carefully at me, “How are you feeling, Jess?” Closing the door behind him, he moves to the bed, hesitantly sitting down on the edge.
“My body hurts like hell. But mentally I’m good.” I smile, reaching for his hands. He takes my hands in his, lacing our fingers together.
“I’m so sorry this had to happen to you. You know, I wasn’t kidding last night about beating up Gideon. He’s had it coming for a while.”
“Oh God. You didn’t kill him did you?” Phoenix chuckled and shook his head.
“No. But now he knows not to touch you ever again. I’m protecting you.” Phoenix leans forward trying to kiss me, but I turn away. “What’s wrong?” he asks.
“What’s going on?”
“What do you mean?”
“Stop making a fool of me, Phoenix. What is going on in this house? Why was Gideon ready to kill me last night for being in here? What are you hiding? What did you mean yesterday when you were talking to Gideon about Sky changing and Fred almost beating her to it? Why is Avalon so hurt after a fight with Sky?”
“I’m really not supposed to tell you. It’s against the rules,” Phoenix began.
“Here you go again with the freaking rules! Avalon has been yammering about them as well! Just forget the rules and tell me what the hell is going on!” my voice rises to a hoarse yell as I speak.
“Don’t yell. Do you really want to know?” I nod. “Fine. But don’t interrupt me until I’m done explaining, deal? Okay, no one can say anything to me anyways. There are six Taurus houses in the world all are a part of the six Academies around the world. Together the members of Taurus form a sort of secret society, no one besides the members know what Taurus is about. It is punishable by death to tell an outsider, lucky for me I’m not easy to kill, otherwise I wouldn’t be the leader of this house – I'll get to that later. Every year a group of kids from America get a Stella Academy acceptance letter, a few of these get a scholarship, just like Frederick did. This scholarship is fake.”
“What?”
“Don’t interrupt me. The students getting these fake scholarships are special, not like brainiac special, but they were born with their fates already decided. They have a special gene, which is passed down through the family. No one knows how far back this has been going on. When these kids turn sixteen they get their acceptance letters. Stella Academy tracks the families of the old students, so even if the kids don’t apply to the school, they get accepted. That was the case with Frederick, wasn’t it?” I nod, “It was like that for me too. I had never even heard about Stella before I got my letter. My parents never told me they’d both been here, I never knew what was going on until I turned eighteen.”
“What happened?” Phoenix arched an eyebrow and stood up. He began pacing back and forth on the floor.
“Something happened to me. Most of us change between our eighteenth and nineteenth birthday. It happened to me the day I turned eighteen. Do you know the legend of the white bull?”
“Yeah, Zeus wanted the woman Europa so he turned . . .” I stopped, looking up at Phoenix, both of his eyebrows were arched, he wanted me to finish, “He turned into a bull. Then he ran away with her, and later he created the constellation Taurus in the sky.”
“You’re right. This legend is the foundation of Taurus. Zeus turned into an animal. So do we. It’s hard to explain what happens. It’s like your body begins to itch, like there’s something crawling around inside of you, and you have to scratch until it’s out. I don’t know how to explain it. The first time we change is the most painful experience in the world. We’re shifters. If we’re around other shifters, it’s easier to turn. I know you noticed something about Avalon that night you saw her outside the house, when all those wolves surrounded you. She was unable to stand still. When shifters are nearby in their animal form, the animal inside us is pushing to be allowed out.”
“What about the fighting?”
“We have rules. It’s just like the animal world, you know, survival of the fittest and all. We have to fight to be on top. I’ve fought to be the leader. This scar,” he runs an index finger down the side of his face tracking the long scar, “is from my last fight with Gideon. He was the leader until I challenged him, after that fight he was hospitalized for a month; we had to tell the hospital in Torchville he had been attacked by stray wolf, when they asked why he had lost so much blood. The girls have to fight as well. That’s why Sky and Avalon hate each other. Avalon turned about a year ago, a few months after her eighteenth birthday. Sky just turned a month ago, and her nineteenth birthday is a week away. For a year I’ve been playing both of them. I haven’t been fair to either. Remember the night in the woods with those bears? That was Avalon and Sky. Sky won, Avalon is still recovering. Luckily, healing fast is part of being a shifter. We heal faster than regular people, but not fast enough for it to be suspicious.”
“We’re not supposed to have any relations with normal humans. I bet, you can figure out why. It didn’t take you that long to figure out something was wrong. But, of course, you are extraordinarily curious for a person. There’s also something fascinating about you, which is why I haven’t been able to stay away from you, even though it’s impossible for us to be together.”
“Why?”
“Haven’t you been listening? You have to fight to be on top. If you want to be with me, you have to challenge Sky. Imagine you fighting a lioness. That would be the fight you’re looking at. You’d be dead in less than thirty seconds. I won’t make you do that. We can’t talk again after today, it’s too dangerous for you.” He moves to the bed, sits on the edge closest to me, taking both of my hands in his. “I’d rather admire you from a distance than not be able to admire you at all. You have to stay away from me. Why are you smiling?” I don’t even notice I’m smiling until he says it.
“I don’t believe you. It just seems . . . unreal.” Phoenix chuckles, for a second I honestly believe it’s all just a big joke. Phoenix stands up and begins undressing right in front of me. “What the hell are you doing?”
“I’m showing you the truth. Just watch me.” He says as he stands in his underwear in front of me.
“Please keep them on.” Phoenix rolls his eyes before closing them. His breathing slows down and I can hear a deep growl from his throat. Then the weirdest thing happens. The hair on his arms begins growing out, and I hear bones cracking. Then he drops down on all four, the growling continues as hair begins growing on his face and neck. Suddenly a hairy tail appears behind him, as his arms and legs turn into doglegs, and his nose transforms into a snout. The whole thing doesn’t take longer than half a minute, but then a Rottweiler is sitting on the floor where Phoenix just stood, and I cannot believe my eyes. His tongue is hanging out of his mouth.
“You make a cute dog.” The dog barks and jumps in the bed with me, licking my face, “Ugh, I take that back. You’re disgusting.” The Phoenix-dog begins twitching, and in less time than it took to turn into the dog, he is back in human form.
“Believe me now?” He whispers.
“This is freaking surreal. I’m going to wake up any second in Fred’s bed, and then this will all be a dream.” I grin, unable to grasp what I just saw.
“If this is a dream, nothing will happen if I kiss you will it?” Phoenix murmurs seductively in my ear as he kisses my cheek and neck slowly. I sigh and close my eyes, almost giving in.
“I can’t. I’m dating Fred, I’ve already cheated on him once with you, and I have no intention of doing it again.” I say, hoping my voice doesn’t give away how much I really want Phoenix, who’s lying naked next to me at the moment. But he doesn’t give up; he just keeps kissing my neck. “I thought you told me to stay away from you.”
“I regretted saying that the second the words left my lips,” don’t talk about your lips, it will only make me want you more, “I don’t think I can stay away from you. And I know for a fact you can’t stay away from me.”
“You’re wrong.” I whisper, before his mouth claims mine in a passionate kiss. The fire burning inside me takes my breath away, and when Phoenix’s tongue pries my lips apart, I can’t hold it back anymore. I have never wanted anyone as much as I want Phoenix in this moment. All of a sudden my body doesn’t hurt anymore. I lie down on the bed again just after Phoenix pulls off my top. Suddenly I’m aware of how naked I actually am, I had been in my PJ’s all night. I had been in my silk shorts and matching top, not wearing a bra.
Phoenix pulls back from me, his eyes sparkling, even in the dark of his room. Not thinking of my actions, I take his face in my hands, bringing it down to meet mine again. The passion consumes me and I try to shut off my brain. His hands leave a burning trail all over my body as they move, and when they finally make their way to the edge of my shorts, I can’t stop a moan from escaping my lips.
Phoenix murmurs against my skin, “You’re amazing.”
“Phoenix,” he thinks it’s an encouragement and his fingers move underneath the light fabric of my shorts, and I have to grab his wrist to stop him, “Don’t. I can’t do this.” I breathe. Phoenix pulls back, looking angry.
“Damn it, Jess! Can you decide? Who do you want?”
“I… I don’t know. I like you, a lot. But I love Fred. I want to be with Fred. I—I’m wearing his ring.”
“If you wanted to be with Fred you wouldn’t be with me right now.” Phoenix says in a seducing voice as he tries to kiss me again. But once again I push him off and sit up again. Grabbing my shirt off the floor I put it on and continue to let down my hair so it can hide the bruises I got last night.
“You’re wrong, you know.” Phoenix looks confused, “I can stay away from you. And I will from now on. Take me out of this house, Phoenix. I won’t return again.”
“You can leave by yourself. Everyone’s in classes now. They won’t know you were here. Leave if you want to, but know that no one will stop Gideon the next time you set foot in here.” Phoenix sneers.
“I’m sure that won’t be a problem. Goodbye Phoenix.” I say before I leave. He is right. No one is around; they are all attending their classes. Lucky for me; I really don’t like walking around on school grounds in my pajamas.
I hurry back to my dorm, not meeting anyone on the way, and change into my favorite light blue jeans and top to go with it. Checking the time I realize it’s almost time for lunch, so I head to the cafeteria in the hopes of finding Fred there.
The first thing I notice is Avalon. She sits by herself at a table, in a world of her own, reading a book. She doesn’t look bad. Since last night she has healed well, and she looks like she used to. Just a little tired. I consider going to her and saying hi, but then I decide not to. She one of them; one of the beasts, she’s a shifter. I go to sit down at Fred’s and my usual table, waiting for him to arrive.
Slowly the other students begin filing in and chattering fills the room. I see Fred walking next to Faye and my blood begins boiling. When he sees me, relief floods over his face and he walks straight to me, kissing my cheek as he sits down next to me.
Stumbling on his words he hurriedly says, “Where on earth were you? I tried your room as soon as I woke, but Faye said she hadn’t seen you at all. I was worried something had happened to you!” I don’t know what to say; I should have thought of a cover story. I can’t say anything about Phoenix or Taurus. Does Fred even know what is going to happen to him? Phoenix said the change would happen after their eighteenth birthday; Fred turned eighteen a couple of months ago. He should be warned if he doesn’t know what’s going on. But I can’t tell him, not without revealing how I know it. I would have to tell Fred about Gideon beating me up, and spending the night with Phoenix leading to him revealing their secrets to me.
“I… I had a weird dream last night and I sleepwalked out of your room. When I woke up I was outside,” I begin. My brain works faster than I ever thought possible, coming up with a good lie. Suddenly I remember what one of my high school teachers always said in class: Be like a duck; calm on the surface but paddle like hell underneath. That’s what I was doing right now. “I had a panic attack, and didn’t know what to do. I eventually called Josephine and she came to get me. She keeps telling me during each of our sessions that I can always call her if something happens.” That isn’t a lie, she really did tell me that. At the end of each session she reminds me to call her if I relapse or I don’t feel good. “She drove out here and brought me back to her house. I didn’t mean to make you worried. I’m sorry, Fred.” I finish.
“It’s okay love. Don’t worry.” He believes my lie. At least he does until Faye decides to speak.
“How could you call your shrink? Your phone was in our room all night.” She says. Something in her voice tells me she knows something. I hope it’s all guesswork, and not real knowledge. “Did you really leave Stella? You know I’m a light sleeper, Jess. I would have woken up if you came into our room in the middle of the night to use your phone. And you don’t seem like the kind of girl who would just walk around in your pajamas all night. Oh, yeah. And then there’s the fact that I saw you leave Taurus as I was walking to the library.” My eyes widen at her words. I can’t believe it. She knows.
“Wait, what?” Fred says, his brows furrow in confusion. “You were where?”
“Oh, was I not supposed to say that?” Faye snickers, “I’m sorry. Well, I better go. Seems like you two have a lot to talk about. You should know better than to lie to your boyfriend, Jessie.” She smirks tauntingly before leaving Fred and I alone.
“Fred,” I begin, not really sure what to say. He’s avoiding my eyes, but I can still see the anger building up inside him.
“Why did you lie to me?” His voice gives me chills; I have never heard him so upset before.
“Fred let’s not do this in here.” I whisper, reaching for his hands, but he pulls away not wanting me to touch him.
“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me the truth! Why did you lie to me Jessica?” His raised voice attracts some attention from the other students. I see Faye standing a few tables away with a triumphant smirk on her annoying face. Avalon looks up from her book as well, now staring intently at Fred and I instead.
“What were you doing in that house?”
“I . . .”
“Were you with him? Did you lie about the other day as well? Are you cheating on me?” Fred whispers the last words, afraid of hearing what he already knows.
“Fred, I love you. I was stupid and I . . . I don’t know what I was doing. Phoenix isn’t important to me! Not like you are. Fred—Fred,” He turns away from me, trying to hide the tears I know are welling up in his eyes, “Frederick! Look at me, please! Hear me out for a second.” I beg. An uncomfortable silence spreads between us as Fred refuses to look at me.
“I can’t believe you. I thought you and I… I really believed we would get married one day.” He finally says, there is no emotion in his voice, only a trace of hopelessness. I find his hands and take them in mine.
“I love you. Y O U. Fred, I accepted your promise ring, doesn’t that mean anything?”
“Apparently not.” Suddenly his hands tighten around mine, his strong fingers pry the promise ring off my finger, leaving it uncomfortably bare. My breathing hitches in my throat; I know what he’s going to say next, and even though I tell myself it’s not the end of the world, my whole world shatters when the words leave his lips.
“We’re over, Jessica.” He growls as he stands up. He doesn’t even glance at me before walking out of the cafeteria.