Frank instantly felt the urge to vomit as he woke from the anaesthesia what felt like five minutes later. His eyes instantly searched for a clock, the time being 14:45. He was grateful there actually was a clock in sight, there still not being one in his room. The hands wobbled in his eyes and there was a doctor next to his bed, their soothing voice supposed to calm him.
He grabbed the bowl put in front of him and instantly threw up, letting the doctor take it from him once he had settled. It felt good to throw the anaesthesia back up as it made his veins itch when it sat in his body. It was almost going back on his detox, but fixing his spine without it would possibly kill him. "How are you feeling, Frank?"
He sighed, leaning back into the pillow. "Not too bad"
--
"Frankie boy!"
His eyes flickered to the door where all of his squad ran into the room, Scott leading the whole pack. In times like these, he realised just how big his squad actually was. The other eight of them had actually cared enough to show up when Frank wasn't even remotely nice to half of them in general. He made a pact there and then to change that. He grinned as they ran at him and Scott flung his arms around him quickly.
"Careful!" Frank shouted, Scott's grip immediately loosening on his neck. Frank managed to put his arms around him in response, smiling at his comfort and compassion. He knew he wasn't supposed to move that much, but the doctor was out of the room and it would most likely go unnoticed with the whole squad surrounding them. Scott's joy was overbearing, but Frank had actually missed his odd optimism when he was in Oregon, so he let it slide.
"Don't all rush in at once" Gabriela said, standing from the chair and pushing Scott backward toward the foot of the bed. Considering how tired she was, her movement was quick and Scott was soon further away from Frank. Gabriela was small next to him, looking up toward him like she did with Frank. He watched the two of them carefully, wondering if any of what he and Gabriela had talked about would affect her.
Scott just smiled as her hand pressed into his chest. "Hi, Gabby"
She smiled a little tightly after what Frank had said previously. "Scott"
"What happened, man? You all good?" Scott asked, heading around the other side of the bed to sit in the chair next to Frank. He was the only one to speak to him at length, the others in the squad having said their short pieces, mostly shaking his hand and moving on. Scott was fully invested, leaning forward on the chair ready to listen to what he had to say.
"I'm fine" Frank replied, Scott folding his arms as he sat forward in the chair. Frank looked between the group of them before back at Gabriela who understood the clear signal to get the rest of the squad to leave. She stood, talking to them briefly before they all made their exits after saying goodbye to Frank. Once they'd left, he turned to Scott instantly. "You didn't have to bring literally the whole squad"
Scott just laughed, "You think they let me come on my own? No way. LePaul gave me the day off so I can stay here but they've all gotta get back soon. She's on her way up, she had a problem with the parking meter or something. You should have seen her when I told her. She was shitting bricks! Thought it was her fault cause she suspended you the other week"
"Shit, man, really?" Frank was shocked, to say the least. They never really got to know him like Scott did and he figured them all scared of him. Scott was the only one who ever really talked to him about things. All this time Frank had put him down and possibly felt himself higher than Scott when really, he was the only one of them that actually had any balls.
She appeared before Scott could reply. Striding through the door, upright but obviously nervous. He could tell, but he would never let that slip. "Frank," LePaul said, approaching the side of his bed. She had a card in her hand along with a bunch of flowers. The colours wounded his eyes after being used to the white interior for so long. "How are you doing?"
Frank laughed, taking the flowers from her as she leaned toward him. They hugged and it was weird. Frank never hugged anyone other than close family. Sometimes Scott. Her hug was more comforting than he expected; feeling her body relax in his arms unlike nothing before. He stared down at the flowers as they pulled away from one another. "Chrysanthemums? I wonder whose idea that was?"
"Sardarov's. He seemed pretty eager when I bought up the idea" LePaul said, placing the card on the bedside table next to his phone and a paper cup filled with water. "I was insistent on something else, maybe nuts or chocolates or even just a card, but he was really, really adamant. He even bought them himself"
"Sardarov tell you I'm allergic?" Frank asked, looking away from LePaul toward Scott. He held his nose to stop himself from laughing as LePaul shot a glare at him. Frank looked between them before looking at Gabriela who shook her head, also glaring at Scott. Frank even managed a smile. "Thank you. It's the thought that counts"
He could feel his throat growing itchy and the urge to sneeze came on very suddenly. His eyes twitched and he shut them before rubbing his nose. LePaul continued onto more official business and he could tell that she was getting uncomfortable with the normality of the conversation and the fact it wasn't about work. "I hope I don't see you back at work for at least a few months. Rest and get better. You know your job will be waiting"
Frank just nodded, "Thank you. It means a lot"
LePaul bid her goodbye, leading the rest of the squad out of the hospital as she reached the door. The three of them watched her go, waiting until the echo of their presence died. When he was left with Scott and Gabriela, he turned toward her quickly, a frown on his face. "I suppose it was you that told him I was allergic to Chrysanthemums?"
She shrugged, eyes wandering the room as she avoided his gaze. "It may have slipped out"
He then turned and glared at Scott before sneezing loudly. Gabriela handed him a tissue in which he blew his nose. After discarding of it in the small bin next to his bed, he shook his head at him once more. He was still wearing the brace around his neck, so just the simple task was difficult. He couldn't remember a time when he wasn't wearing it. "I can't believe you"
Scott just laughed. "I'm sorry, I thought it would be funny"
Sneezing again, Frank reached for another and wiped his nose quickly. He scrunched the tissue in his fist after taking a deep breath. He then turned to Gabriela, and as he did he spotted Dr. Eaton stood watching him from the door, alongside the nurse who had continually spoken to him and helped him with tasks so simple it was embarrassing. He suddenly felt self conscious. "Can you go get me some allergy pills? I have some in my apartment or you can buy some"
She nodded, standing from the chair and grabbing her jacket from the back. Before speaking, she eyed Scott, thinking Frank hadn't noticed. Her eyes flickered to him, "I'll go to your place, it's closer than mine is and I have to walk, Mike is on the school run right now. Do you want anything? Spare clothes, books? Music?"
"A beer" he joked. Scott laughed and Frank guaranteed he would. It was almost why he said it, to lift the spirits and extinguish the tensions between him and his sister. He willed her to leave so he could ask Scott about it. Her disapproving look sunk into him and he shook his head. "Nothing I can think of, please go home afterwards because you deserve a break. I don't need you here today, I have Scott"
She never answered but shook her head, sighing. She had accepted the offer to go home, get a proper sleep and then return refreshed whenever he needed her. Kissing his forehead, she left the room quickly and headed toward the stairwell. Frank turned back toward Scott, staring at him. He frowned, "What?"
"Answer this honestly" He said, forcing himself up in the bed. Scott jumped up quickly, attempting to help him but sitting down as Frank dismissed him. He waited a few seconds before continuing, giving it a few more seconds for Gabriela to get further away from the room so that she didn't even catch the end of their conversation, Frank knew she would get angry. "Do you have the hots for my Sister?"
There was the tiniest hesitation before Scott laughed and that was all Frank needed against him. Frank may have all of his walls lowered and his systems infected and vulnerable, but he could still read Scott exceptionally well. He saw right through the lie that was just about to come out of his mouth. "What? Are you serious, Frank?"
"Honestly, Scott" Frank repeated. "That hesitation says more than you think"
Scott sighed, leaning backward in his chair with embarrassment. "Okay, maybe I do a little bit"
Frowning wildly and shutting his eyes with disgust, Frank groaned. "Scott! That's gross"
"You fucking asked me, Frank! I can't help it, I know it's wrong, like she's married and has two fucking kids. Mike is a great guy, I barely even know him but he was just so welcoming, I'd never do that to him. It's most likely because I split with Elise. It happens, I'll get over it. Probably" He answered, his cheeks flooding red and everything he had said come out in a jumble.
Frank almost laughed, but he felt bad. Instead, he sighed loudly. He was right about Mike. He was nice, maybe even too nice. Frank knew just how ruthless Gabriela could be at times and how much of a bitch she was in just the right moments and he didn't understand why someone as nice as Mike wanted to marry her. He knew he was too nice the minute he asked Frank for her hand in marriage because their father was "unavailable". "I should have never told her to invite you to Thanksgiving"
"That was you?" Scott asked quickly, almost unable to process what Frank had said to him.
"Of course it was me" He replied, slightly offended that he hadn't realised already. Did he really think that Gabriela would just randomly call him up and ask him to dinner without some kind of input? Especially since the two of them hadn't met many times before and merely spoken over the phone. "You sounded beat on the phone, I didn't like it. I couldn't do something shitty with you cause I was in shitty Oregon so I made Gabby do something about it"
Scott laughed again, leaning back in the chair with a hand on his chest. "You care"
Sighing once again, Frank nodded. He was trying to be serious, and in all moments, Scott found the hilarity. He wasn't taking any of it seriously. He never did when it came to himself, only when it came to Frank and the well-being of others. Scott spent so much of his seriousness on others that he'd let his own life become a joke. "Of course I care, Scott. I don't know how not to care when you're all up in my shit"
Scott just stared at Frank. He was making him giddy with how many times he was laughing. Frank figured he'd made a fool of himself by letting his emotional side take over in terms of Scott. They were never emotional around each other, it has just become a standard thing. That's why Frank could tolerate him so much. But now he realised, being emotional around your friends and letting them care for you is what makes them your friends. "I can't believe that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me"
"I should have said more" Frank answered. "I'm sorry for being such a bad friend"
Scott shook his head, "Gabby calling me and asking if I wanted to eat Thanksgiving dinner with your family was the best thing to happen to me in these past few months. You were right, I was beat on the phone and I was sitting alone and drinking in your apartment. And that picked me right up. Your family are wonderful, Frank. They were the nicest and most welcoming people. And I haven't had a Thanksgiving that good since I was 19"
Frank was unable to respond to Scott's words. It was so clear now, why he did have a small soft spot for Gabriela growing - it was just her nature. She was so kind and loving that it just threw him off a bit. He probably wondered how the two of them were related. He could only think of one thing to say that was situation appropriate. "Our apartment. It's ours for as long as you need it"
Scott smiled at Frank, placing a hand on his arm and squeezing a little. Leaning over, Frank placed a hand on top of Scott's and the two of them stayed there for a few seconds whilst Frank processed that he'd had the busiest day ever. And he was completely beat. "When Gabby called me and said you overdosed, I checked next door. She wasn't in her apartment. I don't know why I thought she would be, but. Maybe she'd gotten back before you were transferred from Oregon, I don't know" Scott said, once the two of them had pulled away from the position. There was no need for an introduction, and it shocked Frank that Scott knew just like that. "Did you tell her?"
He nodded. "How could you tell?"
Scott shrugged. "You're a completely different guy around her. I haven't seen him today"
"It went so badly, Scott" He whispered, feeling the tears begin to lodge themselves in his throat. It was already hard to show the emotional side in front of Scott without being completely out of his mind on meds where he couldn't control it. But it was time and he was ready, his vulnerability just wasn't ready to completely show. His head span as he replayed the scene over and over and the thud of him hitting the floor seemed to clear any further memory of it. "She's not coming back"
He shook his head, frown softening as he leaned forward. "You don't know that"
Frank nodded, smiling tightly but sincerely watery. Scott's eyes fell to the floor with disappointment, Frank's walls back up thick and high. It affected him as much as it affected Frank - Karen had become a friend to Scott and Frank hated it. But he finally realised that some of his hurt was halved. "Pretty certain. I mean, she couldn't even be bothered to show up when I overdose on fucking pain meds. Something tells me she doesn't care"
"She can't just stop caring, just like that. Give it time, Frank. Trust me" Scott answered. "Please"
Sniffing, he looked toward him. "And how long do I give it before I give up?"
--
Frank was dozing off when a doctor entered his room. He hadn't seem him before, but forced himself awake when he approached Frank with a smile. He was a lot taller than Dr. Eaton and a lot older, and Frank instantly instilled a lot more trust in him before he'd even spoken a single word. His voice was warm and soothing when he did, and it put Frank at a little more ease than he was already at. "Hi, Frank, I'm Dr. McCarrell"
"Hi" Frank croaked in response.
"Dr. Eaton asked if I would come and have a chat with you, I hope that's okay?" McCarrell asked.
Frank nodded before he realised the real purpose of his visit. His eyes flickered toward the long coat he was wearing, labelled in the top of his chest on the white as DAREN MCCARRELL PSYCHIATRIC UNIT. His heart sunk a little, but he somehow suspected it would happen at some point - most of the doctors thought he was crazy so really, it was just a matter of time. "You're a shrink"
McCarrell laughed a little in response. "If you want to put it that way, then yes. I've been called that an awful lot in my time, trust me. I'd be surprised if some of them didn't know the correct term for a "shrink" its used that much"
"Are you here to talk about my drug problem that nobody has shut up about for the past forty eight hours? Cause I'm just about sick of it" He answered, avoiding McCarrell's eyes as he knew they would be full of pity. Frank's story was a "heart-wrencher" according to his sister; a junkie cop overdoses as he heroically tries to fight his spinal problems to continue serving the community. It was all complete bullshit.
Shaking his head, he leaned forward in the chair. His movements were slow, and it reminded him of his mother. They must have been similar in age, but so different in persona and state of mind. For one, Dr. McCarrell wasn't dying from multiple and continuous strokes that eat away at his brain. "I was actually wondering about these"
Frank frowned as he reached for the box of allergy pills and took a look at them. He pulled his glasses from the top of his head and lowered it closer to get a better look. Frank watched his every move, trying to think what they had to do with anything and what Dr. Eaton spotted whilst he was spying earlier. "My allergy pills? If you're presuming I'm addicted to those as well, you're wrong. I haven't touched them in years until today"
"I wasn't assuming that at all. What do you take them for?" Dr. McCarrell asked, placing the box back on the side. He folded his arms and sat back in the chair with his eyes on Frank as he waited for him to answer. Frank wondered whether he should tell the truth or not, bizarrely. He didn't know why the thought crossed his mind but he figured something off about this "visit" set up by Dr. Eaton.
"I'm allergic to Chrysanthemums, I start sneezing and my throat itches when I'm near them so I take them whenever I need" Frank answered, rather slowly as he recalled everything that went down earlier in the day. He was becoming convinced that they thought his addiction wasn't just to pain meds but also to his allergy pills - as irrational as that sounded. But it was some ridiculous accusation you could make about a junkie. And that's exactly what Frank was.
"Are they prescribed?" McCarrell asked.
"No" Frank answered. "They do the job, though"
"Hmm," he responded. "Dr. Eaton told me that when you claimed to have an allergic reaction to them earlier today, it wasn't the most normal of responses. Contact with Chrysanthemums when you're allergic results in either a rash, asthmatic attack, or inflammation of your sinuses which you showed none of. Chrysanthemums can also cause contact dermatitis, which with your history of unprescribed treatment of your allergic reactions, would be the case here. And it isn't"
Frank just frowned, "What are you trying to say?"
"You're not allergic to Chrysantheums, are you Frank?" He paused for a second, flustered before sighing as Dr. McCarrell continued. "It's merely a psychological thing, Frank. I'm guessing you've had some sort of triggering event that makes you act that way around Chrysanthemums. It would trigger your supposed allergic reaction, even when there isn't anything to treat. Your mind causes you to sneeze when you inhale their pollen, and your throat grows sore just at the thought of them around you"
Unable to fathom what he was saying, Frank tried to nod. "Right"
"Can you think of anything that would cause this psychological reaction, Frank? Anything at all? Every little thing counts, even if it's something you think isn't that major. Sometimes its the smaller things that can trigger the most bizarre things. Like the domino effect, in a way"
It suddenly became clear. Frank knew where the root of the problem began - right where the root of most of his psychological problems began. The Chrysanthemums played an almost vital role which is why he'd accustomed himself to hate them, to form an "allergy" to them, just so he didn't even have to be near them - his father's death.