Sulli's
"Momma?"
"Yes, baby?"
She grasped my hand. Sabay kaming naupo sa couch. Automatic naman na hinagod ko ang buhok niya at napangiti.
"Dito na po ba tayo kina Grandma titira?"
I just hummed. I don't know yet. I don't want to give her answer though.
Come to think of it, it's been days since we decided to stay here. I'm still working. Medyo napalayo ang biyahe pero ayos lang naman.
At isa pa...nagkaayos na kami ng mga magulang ko. Now, we're using our time to bond and tell stories to each other.
Maybe it's not yet too late. Magiging maayos na ulit ang family ko. Hindi pa huli para maging masaya kasama sila.
But maybe...I'll be completely happy if September's here. I sighed. But...that will be impossible right now.
I actually tried to contact her pero wala. Hindi ko alam kung anong nangyari. Nag-aalala na ako. Paano kung...kung...
Napailing ako. I decided to open the TV, baka sakaling malibang ako. Balita ang naabutan kong ineereng palabas. I slouched on the sofa, hugging Sydney na walang imik na yumakap pabalik.
Natigilan ako ng sunod na report naman ang inere. It's about...
"Nakatanggap kami ng intelligence report from an anonymous sender at ibinigay nito ang nga information na connected kay Kill. The sender gave a certain name of an organization who kills for money." Sabi ng lalaking ini-interview ng babaeng reporter.
"Is it legit, Sir?" The female reporter asked.
The man made a straight face. "We are already conducting our investigation towards the report. The following information would be private from the media."
Iyon lang at mabilis na umalis ang lalaki. Sinundan pa ito ng mga ilang reporters, patuloy na nagtatanong, ngunit nakasakay na ito sa sasakyan.
Natulala ako. Parang na-blangko yata ang utak ko sa narinig.
If the report's legit, then that means na mas mabilis nilang mahahanap si Kill at ang organization na kinabibilangan niya. Kung sino man yung anonymous sender na iyon, magaling siya.
But it makes me worry more. What if something bad happens to her? Paano kung matuklasan nila lahat ng may connection kay September? What if...they discover Sydney?
I worry too much. I just can't help it. Having that report containing the files about the organization, there will be a chance na doon mas matutuon ang atensyon nila. Pero aware ako na hahanapin at hahanapin pa rin nila si September—si Kill.
"Momma?"
Napalingon ako kay Sydney at pansing naka-pout siya. "Yes, baby?"
"Smile po..." She touched my lips.
I held her small hands and smile. She giggled because of that. I just can't make this little kid worry because of me.
Deep inside, I want to help September so bad but...how?
--
September's
"You sure on what you did?"
Napairap na lang ako sa tanong ni Avarice. "Of course I am. Gagawin ko ba kung hindi?"
Nginisihan niya lang ako. Edi nginisihan ko din, hanggang sa sabay na lang kaming natawa. Bagay talaga kaming mag-best friend. Damn.
"But seriously," She said as her facial expression went straight. "That's dangerous."
Uminom ako ng liquor na binabalak naming ubusin bago ngumiti. "Tinulungan mo naman ako, eh." Sumalampak ako sa sofa at inakbayan siya na hindi naman niya kinontra. "At ssaka matagal nang dangerous ang buhay ko."
"Buhay natin," she rephrased.
"Tama."
Nag-appear kami at parehas ma tumawa ng nakakaloko. We looked like idiots. But, whatever. I'm enjoying life.
At least I am trying to.
I missed them so much—Sydney and Sulli. I missed my cute little daughter, I missed waking up seeing her and her smile. I missed being hugged by her small body. I missed hearing her voice.
Napalagok ulit ako ng isang shot.
I missed Sulli so much. So much that I want to escape everything and be with her. I missed seeing her, I missed messing up with her and find her still gorgeous even when she's pissed off, I missed seducing her and getting turned on when she moans, when she's kissing me back.
I missed hearing her cold rants about me, her short explanations and stories when I want her to talk more. I missed having breakfast with her, watching her drink her tea and rolled her eyes afterwards.
I missed everything about her and I'll gamble everything just to hear her say I love you to me again.
I swear to heaven na sa oras na makita ko siya ulit, I'm going to make love with her hard and she won't be able to stop me not unless I'm done.
Napabuntong-hininga ako. They made me feel like this in just a short span of time. Pero ayos lang. Dahil naranasan kong maging masaya. Nalaman ko na may mas isasaya pa ang buhay ko. I realized how precious it is to live normal and appreciate beautiful things in its simplest form.
I realized that it's not just all about money and pleasure of having someone to have sex for a night, it's all about living simple and having pleasure with a single human and no one else. Making love is far more beautiful than just sex.
Living life knowing you have someone to lean on even at your darkest days. I learned how to treasure life and be contented with little things which other may find worthless.
I learned how to be someone who isn't really me, but it's a part of me at the same time. I learned how to love without expecting anything in return.
I learned how to make memories that surely I will never forget and clings to it hopelessly.
In a short span of time... I realized how happy and satisfying it is to have a family. Not by blood but by the emotions that bind us together.
"For a moment, I thought of how creepy you are for the past few minutes I've been watching you." Avarice suddenly said na nakapagpabalik sa akin sa reyalidad. Hindi ko alam kung sasapakin ko siya o ano sa biglang pagsingit sa pag-iisip ko.
"What do you mean?"
"You looked like a lost puppy awhile ago," Nag-peace sign siya nang inamba ko ang kamao ko. "It's true!" She defensed kaya kumalma ako. Lost puppy my ass. "Then in a fast transition of expression, you suddenly looked like a rapist, I swear. Then suddenly, you looked like someone who finally reached the enlightenment." She laughed. "Para kang si Buddha."
Halos masamid ako sa iniinom ko. Binalingan ko siya ng masamang tingin. "Gago."
"Blame yourself." Napakamot siya sa tainga niya bago lumagok ng alak. "What's your next move after sending that information anonymously?"
Naalala ko yung mga information na inilagay ko sa files na ipinadala ko gamit ng mga connection ni Avarice. Sa ngayon, I'm pretty sure na iniimbestigahan na nila iyon.
Napanood ko na rin yung mga reports about doon at hindi na ako magtataka kung may umusbong na iba't ibang haka-haka tungkol sa balita. Hmm...my next move...
"I don't know yet. Not until we wait."
"Pinapaikli mo ang buhay mo." Komento niya. "But don't worry, you know that I'll be here for you no matter what."
"Thank you." I said sincerely.
"Just remember na hindi lahat ng oras ay matutulungan kita," paalala niya, "alam kong wala pa silang alam na kasabwat mo ako pero pansamantala lang iyon. Kapag nabisto ako, kakailanganin ko na ring magtago." Uminom siya ulit. "Hindi lang ikaw ang wanted, aba."
"Oo na." Natawa ako habang napapalatak na lang siya. "Kung sakaling mawala ang organization, anong gagawin mo?"
She stopped for a moment, giving it a thought, then shrugged her shoulders afterwards. "Maybe I'll find a new job. A legal one."
"Hmm..." Natahimik na lang ako. Napatingin ako sa kanya nang mapansing may binabasa siya sa phone niya. "Message?"
"Yup," she confirmed, "from your girlfriend."
"Si Sulli?" Bigla akong nabuhayan.
"May iba pa ba?" She asked sarcastically.
Hindi ko na lang pinansin yung kagaspangan ng ugali niya. Mas importante sa akin yung nalaman ko. "What did she say?"
"Well...something important."
_____