Hi all, so here's today's 'official' update. There's a second NSFW update after (Did I get the terminology on that right?) Basically, a reader asked for a specific type of update and as always, if you ask, you get (99.9% of the time). It's a phone sex/dirty talk update- but don't expect it to be good...
Sarah, xx
"I have come to the conclusion that I hate Evelyn. And also, your father."
"Hi, Daniel."
"I mean, seriously? Who does what they did?"
"My family, apparently. And your sister."
"Your family have corrupted my sister. Let's get the terminology right."
"I don't think Evie's as innocent as she seems."
"Not any more, no."
"I don't think you can blame my family entirely."
"Sophie, they kidnapped us in the middle of the night!"
"Eight am is not the middle of the night."
"Close enough."
"But not really."
"They came into our bedroom, threw a sack over my head and dragged me out. I was kidnapped!!"
"Just think, it'll be fun!"
"Fun? If I recall correctly, my eyebrows may be shaved off!"
"They probably won't do that."
"Probably is not definitely."
"Well, the wedding photos will tell a story if they do shave your eyebrows off."
"Soph, you're not being encouraging!"
"Neither are you. Optimism is a great thing. Take a leaf out of my book- I'm being optimistic that the girls are not going to shave my eyebrows off."
"Of course, they're not going to shave your eyebrows off! They like you."
"Are you saying that my family don't like you?"
"No! I'm just saying that the men of your family would be more... barbaric."
"Barbaric?"
"You know what I mean. They wouldn't think twice about shaving my eyebrows off. The girls, though, they wouldn't do that to you."
"I wouldn't be so sure. I heard Charlotte and Emma talking. Guess who is coming to this hen party?"
"Who?"
"Keira."
"Echo? No way! Haha!"
"Not funny. My optimism levels dipped slightly at that revelation. Look, does it matter? With or without eyebrows, we'll be getting married on Saturday and starting twenty-seventeen as man and wife. Got it?"
"Got it."
"Good. Now, enjoy whatever it is they have planned for you."
"You too."
"Ok. Speak to you later, babe."
"Bye, sweetheart. I love you."
"I love you, too."
To recap, do not read the next update if you are:
1. Too young
2. Hate sex talk/dirty talk
3. Easily offended
So, yeah...
DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU'RE SURE YOU WANT TO