1 6
e n d e d a n s
inward
I stare at the phone, my heart picking up speed with every passing second. I can't really hear anything that Saskia is saying, as all I can hear is a buzzing noise in my ears. I feel my hands turning into jelly, the phone instantaneously slipping out of my hands and hitting the floor with a loud noise.
"This has to be some sort of a joke." I mumble, making Saskia look at me with a confused face. She proceeds to stare at the phone after grabbing it from the floor. About a thousand emotions run across Saskia's face, most of them indecipherable, albeit the following expressions were clearly comprehendible: confusion, admiration, excitement, uncertainty.
"This certainly isn't a joke," Saskia asseverates. "Rosen definitely loves impromptu declarations of admiration once he has managed to escape past his nonchalance."
I rub my forehead slightly. "That's nonsensical."
"You just have to stop looking so perplexed, find the boy and then make the hazardous move of casually making out with him." Saskia suggests. "That task doesn't sound super strenuous so you can do it."
Looking down at my attire, I turn my attention back towards Saskia. "I can't just go out looking like this. I'll scare him away with my homeless person look."
"Fine, come with me," Saskia announces. She grabs my hand tightly in hers as we stride towards her room. Momentarily she starts rummaging through her drawers, trying to find something cute yet elegant for me to wear. Out of nowhere, another issue appears in my brain.
"If I go and meet him now, won't it look like I don't have a sense of propriety? I mean, nice girls don't hang out on the streets this late at night."
"Haze, it's like 10 p.m. only, it's not late." Saskia sardonically replies. She throws a cute floral printed dress at me and a black leather jacket with some black ankle boots that have glitter all over them. "Get dressed and I'll apply some makeup on your face as well and make your hair look all shiny and nice and then you're going to meet your prince in shining armor."
"How will I even find him?" I ask as I'm heading towards the bathroom. Saskia looks flustered after that question but I decide to ignore it.
As soon as I exit out of the bathroom, a sense of consternation appears. Saskia is already sitting by her vanity table, rummaging through her drawers and placing various items of make-up onto the table in front of her. I sit down on the small chair as she slowly starts working her magic.
I feel my anxiety heightening just thinking about seeing Rosen. I can't exactly say if his tweet is about me or not, but deep down I was praying with every cell in my body that he meant that about me. Just knowing that I might have a chance with him was good enough enough for me and if nothing happens between the two of us, then that's just how things are supposed to go. Every situation follows their natural course in life and if mine and Rosen's life courses don't follow each other then that's just how things are supposed to be. I can't force someone to love me or be with me and I'm just going to have to accept that fact.
After about 30 minutes of Saskia dabbing and applying random products onto my face, I'm finally done. As I get a final look at myself in the mirror, I feel slightly more confident.
"Rosen's in the dance studio. Go and surprise him."
Taking in Saskia's advice I step out of the door and head to my car. As I sit inside the car and start the engine, I head towards the dance studio. My hands are getting clammier by the second as I grip onto the steering wheel, praying I don't cause an accident because I'm so nervous.
As I see the dance studio appearing in my vision, something changes.
Instead of stopping, I press my foot onto the acceleration and drive towards the hospital instead. No one knows Rosen better than his mother Faith and the best thing to do in a situation like this is to see what her opinion on the matter is. I'm sure she has seen Rosen in love before and knows his behavioral characteristics, which is why it's better for me to figure out what Rosen thinks and then I can make a move.
I come to a cessation in the parking lot and step out of the car, careful not to fall onto my face as my legs felt like Jell-O right now. Heading inside the hospital, I quickly check in my name and head to Faith's room.
Before entering I quietly knock on the door and step inside, Faith's warm face greeting me instantly. "Hazel, it's so nice to see you here." Faith says.
"Hey." I go up to her and give her a little hug. "I just wanted to come by to see how you're doing and ask a question about Rosen."
"Well, honey, come sit right next to me and we'll have a girl talk in private." Following her instructions, I make myself comfortable on the bed next to her as she holds my hand. "So, what can I help you with?"
Firstly, I show Faith the tweet so she could understand what I'm talking about. "What's this supposed to mean? Is it Rosen's way of saying he's interested me or could he be talking about someone else?"
"Do you know if he has someone else in his life?"
"Yeah, Sven," I reply, chuckling lightly.
"For the past 18 years my son hasn't been interested in guys so I doubt he's talking about him. Does he have any other girls in his life?"
I shrug. "I don't really know. I've been spending quite some time with him and he hasn't mentioned anyone else expect you."
Faith smiles at me. "Then what makes you think that he's talking about someone else? If you're the only girl in his life right now, it's pretty obvious he's talking about you. Plus, I've seen the way he acts around you. You make Rosen smile a little brighter, laugh a little louder and just behave like a true gentleman. In my opinion, those are signs of love. And if he isn't interested in you, then he's missing out on someone very special and gorgeous."
"But he appears so mundane around me," I say.
"Honey, just persevere though this situation. He will come around before you know it and I hope that day is soon because I want to see my son happy once more before I leave this Earth."
"Thanks, Faith," I say quietly. "That made me feel a lot more secure in myself."
❀❀❀❀❀
A few days later a rumor started spreading in school. The rumor is that a talent show will be held amongst the students and the winners will receive 10,000 dollars donated to their chosen charity. For the talent show, the students can perform whatever they chose. It can be a dance, a song, an small part of a play - anything basically.
Later that day, the principal of our school ordered us all to meet in the assembly hall for more details about the talent show. I met up with Rosen a few minutes earlier and we sat next to each other as the principal held his speech.
"As you all know, our school is taking part of the talent show this year," He started. "This year, all schools in Florida will be participating and the winners will receive 10,000 dollars donated to a charity of their choice and they'll have a chance to represent our school and leave an amazing impression in college applications for winning something so huge. So I urge you all to enter with whatever talent you've got."
Once the principal finished his speech, Rosen turned to me instantly. "We have to enter. If we win, think about the impression it'll leave on Juilliard. We'll have a higher chance of getting in."
"Do you want to enter with a dance of some sort?"
"Definitely," Rosen says as we walk towards Chemistry class together. "But we have to step out of our comfort zone. We're already doing a contemporary dance for our audition so we have to do something completely different."
"So, like a Latin-American dance?"
Rosen turns to me, his eyes wide. "Exactly! We'll do salsa or samba and blow everyone away with our skills."
"You do have a lot of faith in yourself, don't you?"
"Well, how else am I going to get into Juilliard. I have to be confident in myself and so do you."
"Alright, I'm fine with that," I reply as I walk towards my seat. "When are we going to practice? We have about two weeks to learn the dance."
"Meet me in the dance studio tonight and we'll organize everything then."
"Alright." I reply as the teacher walks in the the lesson starts.
When we got out of school, I meet up with Saskia in the parking lot. She drove me to school today as Rosen woke up late and missed first period so the normal thing was for Saskia to drive me so I wouldn't be late as well.
Since Christmas is approaching quickly, Saskia and I made arrangements to go Christmas shopping early so we'd be ready when the actual day came. Plus, things aren't super hectic in school right now so that leaves us the perfect opportunity to get things done before we're swarmed with school work.
"So, an idea popped into my head today," Saskia says as we get into her car. "Since you just moved here and since we're neighbours, I thought it would be cool if our families celebrated Christmas together. My relatives won't be able to come visit as all the plane tickets to the United States have been sold out in Iceland and they don't have another way of coming here. My mom also enjoys a big Christmas so I'm sure she wouldn't mind if your family came over and we were all together that night."
"That sounds great," I say. "I'll just talk to my mother later and we can figure out all the details then."
Since Christmas has always been my father's favorite holiday, we kind of celebrate it in honor of him since he passed away. But I know that we have to one day grow out of that tradition since Christmas time is always kind of depressing for our family. Plus Isabella doesn't seem to understand that mom gets sad during Christmas and she just ruins everything with her constant nagging and her huge need for presents. In the sake of our family staying sane during Christmas, I think it's better if we stop associating Christmas with dad and just celebrate it like a normal holiday. I'd rather not hear my mom cry herself to sleep every Christmas because dad isn't here to celebrate it with us.
This year I want to spend the holidays around people I love and people who are special to me. That's why Rosen is definitely on my list and so is Sven. Knowing that Sven is coming back to Walden and celebrating the holidays with us makes my heart very happy and now that Saskia wants to spend the holidays together, I'm sure her mother wouldn't mind having two more guests, especially if their relatives can't make it here from Iceland for the holidays.
"Do you think it'd be okay if Sven and Rosen joined us for Christmas?" I ask Saskia. "I just don't want them to be alone while we're all happy and joyful together."
"Is Sven coming back for the holidays?" Saskia asks as we get near the mall and she goes on a hunt to find the perfect parking spot.
I shrug. "I think so, why would he stay in New York if his family is here."
"I don't know," Saskia chuckles. "Maybe he's too cool of a college student to hang out with us high school kids."
I laugh at Saskia's comment. "You and I both know that he loves us all very much. Plus, I miss him like crazy and I'm sure Rosen does too."
"Then give him a call and ask him, you idiot."
"You know what, I'll just do that."
Grabbing my phone from my bag I dial Sven's number and wait for him to pick up. In a few moments it occurs to me that we live in different time zones and he might be busy with something but that thought leaves my mind when I hear Sven's cheerful voice on the other side.
"Hey, my favorite Def Leppard chick," Sven greets me. "I haven't had a call from you in what seems like forever. What can I do for you?"
"Are you coming home for the holidays?" I ask him as Saskia and I step outside and start walking towards the building, our eyes scanning over the huge sale signs.
"I sure am," Sven replies. "My flight is on the 16th."
"Great, that means you'll be spending the holidays with us and there will be a huge dinner at Saskia's place and everyone is coming so you won't be able to say no."
"Is your hot friend Serenity joining us as well?" Sven asks.
"Oh, so you're interested in her," I chuckle. "I can give her a call and see if we can arrange something."
"That would be pretty sweet. Is there anything else you wanted to ask? My lecture is about to start in a few minutes."
"Do you have any ideas for Rosen's potential Christmas present?"
I hear silence on the other side for a bit, until Sven's voice appears again. "Tell you what, I'll think about it in class and once I have a brilliant idea, I'll text you all the details, is that okay?"
"Yes, that sounds perfect. It has to be something great though, I want to surprise Rosen and make him happy."
"Have you made a move on him?" Sven asks, his voice getting more mischievous by the second. I could basically feel him smirking on the other side of the line. While Sven has been gone, I've been in contact with him quite a lot and we've tried to figure out how I can charm Rosen but so far I haven't actually done anything to charm him.
"Well, we haven't made out or anything like that. I've tried to get him to kiss me but nothing works."
"Then your kiss will be his Christmas present," Sven laughs on the other side.
"Don't be ridiculous."
"Alright, alright, I'll come up with something even better."
I smile to myself. "Thanks, Sven. You're a lifesaver."
"I know, I'll see you soon." He responds and the line goes dead.
Once I've securely placed my phone back into my pocket, I join Saskia as we enter the mall and head towards the nearest shop to spend all our money and probably not buy a single Christmas present in the process.
Where you can contact me:
Twitter • aulhoei
Instagram • aulhoei
Email • pretenceonwattpad@gmail.com