I waited for him to exit the bathroom, but once five minutes had passed since the door had closed, I tentatively knocked. No reply. I knocked again, a bit louder this time, and called out his name too. Still nothing. Furrowing my brow, my hand went to the doorknob but stopped.
Geez, Valerie, give the guy some privacy. Maybe he's taking a shit.
I don't know how anyone could be comfortable doing that at someone else's home, though. I certainly never could be.
So I shrugged and turned, and made my way downstairs. I walked back into the dining room only to stop and stare at the seat kai had been sitting in. The seat Kai was sitting in. My father looked at me and raised a brow.
"Are you okay, Val?"
"Huh?" I dragged my eyes from Kai to my dad, confusion settling over me. "I'm...fine. When did you come down?"
Kai looked at me. "Just now."
"Are you okay?" My dad pressed.
"What do you mean?" I was ignoring my dad now. "I didn't see you leave the bathroom."
"I walked right past you."
"No, you didn't."
"I did."
"I was right there, I think I would have seen you—"
"Honey?" My mom walked in, carrying a steaming bowl of rice. "Why are you standing? Sit, sit."
I sat, still confused as hell.
As Celine helped mom bring the finished food into the dining room, I sat staring at Kai with narrowed eyes. I'd been standing right there waiting for him. How could he have possibly opened the door and walked past me all without my noticing him? He couldn't have.
But he had. Because he was here.
"Are you guys religious? We can say prayer if you'd like." Mother smiled at Celine as they settled into their seats.
"Yes, that'd be nice."
My mom instructed us to take hands. All around the table, we found hands and bowed our heads. I wasn't religious—never really knew what to believe in, but I bowed my head out of respect. Part way through the short prayer Celine was giving, I'd opened an eye and looked around, only to catch Kai's.
They were dark, inviting. Intense. His head wasn't bowed, and he didn't appear to be listening to Celine. But he was looking at me. Staring. I felt my skin flush, felt myself growing nervous and hot under his gaze. His lips twitched as if he knew. Celine finished and we all broke hands, scattered 'amens' coming from around the table. I murmured the word—not loud enough for anyone to really hear. But by the way he tilted his head to the side, I knew he had.
"Let's dig in," my mom smiled.
After we'd eaten dinner and enjoyed desert, I could tell everyone was starting to grow tired—me included. My mom chatted with Celine for a while as she helped with dishes, and my dad talked to Celine's son. Kai kept to himself for the most part, looking around the room. Sometimes he'd look at me, but then he'd look away, uninterested.
I was uninterested in sticking around any longer so after saying goodnight, I went upstairs, showered, and put on a tank top and shorts to sleep in. I was tired, but I also wanted to finish my painting. So instead of going straight to bed, I headed back into my art studio and sat down. At some point I heard them leave, and not long after it started to rain.
I liked the rain. There was something comforting about it. I likes the sound of it as it pattered against a windowsill. The sound of it hitting a glass window. The smell of it as it mixes with the grass and leaves, making the air just a little bit more airy. I liked how it felt when it hit my face.
It's as if for a moment, the world itself is detoxing. Ridding the earth of its evils, creating a clean, blank slate.
Only for us to slather it in sins.
But in just that moment in time—whether it lasted a few minutes or a few hours or a day—when the rain is falling and the world is silent, it's clean. We're clean.
I wasn't a deep thinker. The only time I've ever really gotten lost in my own head is when I'm creating something on paper with charcoal or paint or even pencil. But I remember when I was thirteen and way into poetry. I had no problem looking at things and seeing the deeper message.
The sky isn't just blue. It's never just blue.
You're supposed to look beyond the color, look beyond what you see.
If we relied purely on sight, we'd be blind to the world.
So I tried painting it. The sky. I tried making different shades of blues and throwing in grey and browns. Some whites for the clouds, some red and orange for a source of light.
I painted until my hands were sore and my arm was tired from staying at such an awkward angle. I painted until my sight darkened around the edges. I painted until the only intelligible sound that left me was a yawn. I painted it until it made sense.
And then I painted until I lost sight of what I was creating.
At some point the rain stopped.
I sighed and stood up, taking the painting off the easel and walking across the room to my drying rack. Just as I was leaving the room, I heard a noise at the window.
I whipped around, my gaze locking on a pair of eyes watching me. I yelped, stumbling back, nearly knocking into the standing lamp. Who the fuck—
"Meoow."
My eyes narrowed, and I took a closer look. It was a cat. It raised a hand and pawed at the closed window. I moved closer, confusion stirring inside me. I knew cats were pretty agile, but I had no idea how it could have gotten up to that window. There was no tree it could have climbed up. I was aware cats could climb walls if need be but even with that in mind, doubt pooled in my belly.
I finally reached the bay window and sat down, leaning closer so I could get a look at the animal. There was no doubt about it, the cat was beautiful. It's fur was midnight black, and if there was a color darker than that, that's what I'd use to describe it. It wasn't fat nor too small, in fact it was a perfect size. It's glowing embers felt like it was staring right through me, burning my soul.
I shuddered.
It's mouth opened again, and it meow'd again, this time sounding sad.
There was a collar around his neck. He belonged to someone. He probably got lost.
I frowned. I was an animal lover, and this poor guy was probably just hungry and lost. I opened the window finally, and slowly stuck out one hand so he could sniff me. When he seemed satisfied, he moved closer. I picked him up into my arms. He felt soft—almost unnaturally soft. No conditioner ever made my hair that soft.
It purred against me, and I began to pet him.
He was actually very beautiful.
"What's your name, hm?"
Of course he didn't respond. I shifted him so I could get a look at his collar. Hypnos.
"Hypnos?" My eyebrows furrowed and I raised him up so we could look at each other. "That your name, boy? Hypnos? Pretty weird, if you ask me."
I looked back at the collar to see if there was a number or address engraved in case the cat goes missing. Nothing but the name.
"Well, Hypnos, as long as you're well behaved, you can stay here. Tomorrow, I'll make some signs and hang them up so your family knows I found you. Sounds good?"
"Meow."
"Alrighty. We don't have cat food, but we do have tuna. Want some?"
He purred like he understood me. I laughed.
Alright. Now I was talking to cats. Great, Val, keep that up.
I left the room with the cat in my arms.