Cacee didn't know why Ray looked so shocked. She'd figured out this was his fault within about thirty seconds of meeting him. But she stayed quiet as he covered his face and muttered, "God. How could I be so stupid? I already knew."
"What do you mean?"
He didn't come out from behind his hands. "Your eyes. Our eyes."
She frowned as her stomach did a slow roll. "What about them?"
"How many people comment on their unusual color?"
Not liking where this conversation was headed, she reluctantly answered, "A lot. Why?"
Ray lowered his hands, but he didn't look at her, "My eyes used to be a nice, boring, hazel-blue. Then we tried something new with the JETT. I went catatonic and spent a week in the hospital ward. When Pete finally woke me I was fine, except my eyes had this purplish tint."
This time, she covered her face. She was trying to be mature and accepting of everything, but her eye color being the result of a botched science experiment really brought home her abnormality.
Her words came out muted. "I don't want to be mean, Ray but how did it not occur to you that this might happen? Why didn't you take precautions? You were careless and now I'm paying for it."
Ray gently pulled her hands down. "I wasn't careless, Cacee. We used birth control. I wanted to be thoroughly evaluated before having kids. The JETT might have caused it to stop working. Or maybe you were just meant to be."
She mumbled, "I'm guessing it's Door A."
Ray laid his hands on her shoulder. "When you were born, I wanted so badly for you to be fine. I convinced myself the JETT didn't change anything but those pretty eyes. All these years, I never saw any reason to believe otherwise. Until now."
She twisted a loose button on her sleeve. "I wonder if my mom realized what she was risking—if she wouldn't have had me."
Ray shook his head, "Don't say that. It's too horrible."
Her voice came out frail. "I'm dangerous, Ray. You must see that. I almost killed Jess by randomly skipping here with him. It might have been better --."
Ray leaned in and hugged her. "Don't, sweetheart. Don't do this to yourself. You're beautiful and perfect and the world is a better place with you in it. I swear, I'll fix this. You're going to be fine."
He leaned back and looked at her anxiously.
She wanted to be convinced. She wanted to trust him. But her voice still trembled as she said, "You can't be certain. What if this keeps happening?"
He shook his head. "There was definitely some kind of trigger. I'll figure it out. I promise. In the meantime, later on I'll teach you how to use a JETT. After you go home, I'll get my extra one and give it to you. If you somehow skip again you'll be able to get back. All that is precautionary though. I'm almost positive you'll be fine from here on out."
She looked at him in surprise. "Why?"
"You said Jess is moving, right?"
She nodded.
"Well, there it is. You can't skip without a partner. I'm bouncing around a theory that you somehow draw people or animals with this signal to you, if they're anywhere within your vicinity. That would explain a lot. So you drew the ki--"
"Do not." She pointed her finger at him.
Ray sighed but didn't pretend he didn't understand. He continued, sounding a little grouchy. "So you drew Jess to you and something happened to trigger this power..."
Ray paused, his brow furrowed. She stayed quiet, letting him think. Shane's faint snores reached her ears. Occasionally, Digits squeaked in his hammock. Other than that, the warehouse room was as quiet as the somnolent dust motes that hung in a state eternal pedesis around her.
She guessed she should try to help Ray figure this out, but she didn't want to jam anymore thoughts into her head. And she didn't want to consider where he was going with the rest of this talk.
So she looked around the room, trying to focus on her surroundings. But even that was disconcerting because her face stared out at her from too many walls. From birth to now—her entire life lived in a series of photos.
She gave a small jump when Ray continued, "The more I consider it, Cacee, the more certain I am. One of your talents must be drawing people with this signal to you, otherwise you running across a boy and a dog with this signal doesn't compute. And, like I said, sometimes people have odd talents."
She nodded, since that didn't sound like anything bad. "Okay."
"But we can't ignore that the k..." This time Ray caught himself and corrected, "Jess painted the picture. And we can't ignore how unusual his talent with animals is."
Her father raised his head to look at her. "Given both those things, it's my guess that your power prompted the skip, but it only worked because the kid's signal is opposite yours and because he has some strange abilities of his own. So, once he's gone--"
Cacee studied Ray's face suspiciously, but saw no evidence he'd meant to say, "the kid." Too distracted by the news he was giving her, she let it go.
Ray shrugged as his frown lifted. His voice sounded much happier when he asked, "Plus, you were friends with him for months before this happened, right?"
She pinched the bridge of her nose and nodded.
Ray finally seemed to realize the effect his words were having because he reached out and grabbed her hand. His palm seemed warm against the icy coldness of hers. He continued in a much kinder voice, "The night you skipped your best friend told you he was moving. You got emotional about losing him. In my opinion that was the trigger."
There was a lump in her throat that made it impossible to speak. She grabbed her water and made a show of drinking it as she gestured for Ray to continue.
He said, "So, that's it. I don't believe you'll meet someone with the right signal to skip with you. But, even if you did, I don't think just any person with the opposite signal would work."
Ray let go of her hand and steepled his fingers. He rested his chin on them and continued, "I might be wrong, but I'm guessing since you're something rare, your partner would have to be as well. And perhaps it would have to be a specific situation. Like this one. Something where you didn't just meet the person, but you formed a strong emotional connection to them."
His relief was evident as he finished, "And, since the chances of any of that occurring even once were beyond astronomical, you're going to be fine. With him gone I would bet my life you'll never be in danger of skipping again."
As Ray's words sunk in, she closed her eyes and tried to picture her future without Jess. She concentrated on the images she'd always seen so effortlessly. Graduating college. Becoming something amazing. A geneticist. A biomedical engineer. A molecular biologist. A quantum theorist. She needed to decide soon—her mom had been on her for years to settle on a single ambition. But her mom had also always told her she could do anything. And she'd believed it was true. She'd seen it.
Until now.
Now all she saw was darkness.
A small sound of negation escaped as her eyes flew open.
Ray watched her worriedly. "Are you okay, honey?"
"Are you telling me I can't ever be with Jess?" Her words sounded breathless. Crippled.
Ray looked distinctly ill at ease. "You said he's moving. Why does it matter?"
"He's leaving for a year, not forever. When he comes back..." She trailed off, since she wasn't sure what would happen. Would they still be together? Did he want her to wait for him? And what was wrong with her that she couldn't even imagine being without him? There was falling for someone and there was going crazy. This seemed like a little of both.
Ray said, "A year's a long time, sweetie. I understand that it doesn't seem like it right now but, in a year, this won't matter."
His words hit her like a brick to the chest. She took an uneven breath and dropped her head, grateful for the millionth time for the long hair that acted as a curtain between her and the rest of the world. To Ray she mumbled, "Give me a minute, okay?"
In response, he squeezed her hand. "Sure, sweetie. Take your time."
She scowled and pulled her hand away from him. Other than his interactions with Jess, Ray seemed pretty down-to-earth. Cool. Not condescending, the way a lot of adults were to teenagers. He didn't talk down to her or treat her like a child. At least not before now.
But, in his words, she heard both pity and superiority. Like, somehow, his age made him an expert on these things. She could tell he thought her reaction was cute. Sweet. And a little pathetic. He'd never imagine that whatever was between her and Jess ran deeper than a harmless infatuation. Which was funny since she hadn't wanted to consider that either. But Ray was forcing her hand.
In telling her she'd never be with Jess, he'd opened her eyes. She still wanted that bright, shining future she'd been promised. But only if Jess was part of it. Without him, it would be... pointless. And it didn't matter if she knew that was stupid. Because she also knew it was true.
She raised her head and pushed her hair out of her face. Anger at Ray's assumptions gave her words strength. "It might be your partner theory or Jess and I both having strange signals, or a weird branch of science I've never heard of. But something bought Jess and I together. And together is how we're meant to stay."
Ray looked at her like she was crazy. "It might've just been an accident, sweetheart. Some bizarre one in a billion chance."
She lifted her chin. "Napoleon Bonaparte once said there is no such thing as an accident; it is fate misnamed. So what if you're wrong, Ray? What if Jess is my fate? What if I'm his?"
Now she saw fear in Ray's eyes. "Your fate? That kid? No. Absolutely not." Her father drew each word out, giving it emphasis.
She glowered at him.
Ray raked a hand through his hair. "Jesus. Exactly how serious are you about him, Cacee?"
She had zero urge to answer that particular question.
Ray's eyebrows shot up so fast it was almost funny. "Please don't tell me you think you're in lo--"
She cut him off, terrified Jess would overhear them. "I never said that."
Ray took a deep breath. "Good." The word belied his expression. He looked like he needed an airsick bag.
She stared at the ceiling. Why was everything so complicated? She already liked Ray a lot. Why did he have to hate the one person she'd do anything for?
She and Ray sat in thick silence for a few moments before he said, "Listen, a year is a long time. We can worry about matters of fate when it's over. For now, we have enough to deal with."
Since Ray was right about that much at least, she nodded.
Ray ran his hands over his face and through his hair, leaving it sticking up at various angles. He looked whipped. Probably because he skipped after her, fought a group of armed assailants, hauled Jess all the way down here and then spent the whole day dredging up painful memories.
Although his attitude about Jess angered her, everything else about Ray seemed cool. For the most part, he'd been extremely considerate of her feelings. And Jess wasn't the only one who'd risked his life. Ray put himself on The Station's radar to help her. She blurted, "I'm so sorry! I'm sure you need to sleep, I shouldn't be keeping you up."
Ray smiled. "Don't be sorry. This was the best day I've had in sixteen years."
She wasn't sure how to respond to that, so she avoided his eyes.
Ray chuckled. "How about you wake Jess and try to get some food in him? When he's done eating, maybe we can all sleep for awhile? We'll talk more later."
Cacee nodded. "Sounds good." She stood and stretched before walking into the kitchen and heating a plate of spaghetti. She tried to juggle the plate, a glass of juice and the Parmesan cheese without much luck.
Ray took the juice and cheese from her and asked, "Does Jess need anything else?"
Since her back was to him, she rolled her eyes. Wow. That was twice in a minute he'd used Jess's actual name. He was making a real effort. With a frown Cacee shook her head at the bitchy tone of her thoughts and realized her mood swings were practically giving her whiplash. She was obviously overtired. She made sure to keep her tone as nice as Ray's. "No. But thank you."
"I left clean clothes in the bathroom, so he can shower. I also put some surgical tape, scissors, and a plastic bag in there so he can wrap his stitches." He looked at her hopefully.
She found an easy smile for him this time.
Ray said, "Before lying down, I'd like to take Shane out again, if that's okay with you."
"That would be great. You sure though? I can do it."
Ray shook his head. "He must need a walk by now. I don't mind. He's a lot of fun."
She wondered if Ray realized the easiest way to her heart was through her dog. She grinned at him before calling, "Shane! You wanna go for a walk, boy?"
Shane leaped off the bed and bolted to the door where he sat, quivering joyfully.
Ray laughed before saying, "I'm gonna lie down when I come back, but when Jess wants to sleep again, gimme a shake and I'll grab an air mattress for him so you can use the bed."
She debated telling him she'd just sleep with Jess and decided against it. When he woke, she could say she accidentally dozed off in Jess's bed. "I'm fine."
"Okay. If you need anything just call."
She nodded, and they looked at each other awkwardly.
She put Jess's food on the headboard and then, before she chickened out, leaned in and gave Ray a quick hug. "Good night, Ray. Thanks for everything."
He held her tightly for a moment. "G'night, honey."
He turned to leave, and she frowned. "Hey, Ray?"
"Yeah?"
"Remember how you said I can't skip without a partner?"
He nodded.
"Then how do you?"
Ray yawned before saying, "I have a partner. You met him."
Had she met someone when she was all out of it? Her eyes scanned the warehouse, looking for a door or something she'd missed. When they came back to Ray his eyes were twinkling.
"I didn't meet anyone but you, Ray."
"I'm sure my partner would be offended to hear that. He took quite a liking to you, even gave you a present."
Her eyes darted to Digit's hammock as she remembered the grubby feather. For the hundredth time that day, her eyes widened. "It's not..."
Ray grinned. "I never said that partners needed to be human, did I?"
"Well, no. But he's so small."
"It doesn't matter. He has the opposite signal, and that's all it takes."
"How long have you had him?"
"Since I left the Station. I stole him from the Animal Genetics Department, so I wouldn't need to rely on Pete to skip. Instead of a name, he only had a number tattooed into his ear. That's how I came up with Digits."
Her head was spinning again. "But the average life span for a rat is two to three years."
"I know. I never thought he'd last so long. They did something to him. Made him smarter and extended his life span. Sixteen years and he's still going strong." Ray looked towards the basket, pride and love evident in his eyes.
It occurred to her that the little rat had been the only constant in Ray's life for sixteen years. That was a long time to be alone. Impulsively, she threw her arms around Ray again.
He hugged her and asked, "Hey, what's all this for?"
She looked up at him. "I'm glad I'm here with you."
Ray's eyes watered, and he closed them before pulling her close and saying in a gruff voice, "So am I, sweetheart. So am I."