A/N because the talk is funny to me especially because now a days we know everything without having to sit down and actually "talk" about it 😂😂😂 not gonna lie its not a serious preference at all.
Warning: some are short cause my phone bout to die. I apologize for any spelling errors Ind advance
Malak: your son is 5
It was on his birthday and he didn't want to do anything but go out for pizza and to Hollywood park, easy as pie so you gave him his wish and you guys went back home and sat down watching movies. The movies got boring so you all started talking about that days events and everything.
"That was Funny how the hell did you fall off a motorcycle that's welded to the floor?!" You laughed asking Malak.
"Aye it was going too fast" he argued.
"No it wasn't dad it was literally on beginner's I passed you up twice" your son said holding up two fingers.
Malak Glared at him "I'm taking your cake back" he said. You hit his chest.
"You can't take back what you Bought for his birthday,besides its halfway gone because we ate it" you said.
"Y/n that's why we throw up ,to get stuff back duh" he said shrugging his shoulders.
You rolled your eyes laughing.
You guys were having a great time your little boy sat in the front if you guys talking and telling little school stories that had you dying of laughter.
"Mommy,Daddy can I ask a question?" You Y/S/N asked.
"Of course lil man wassup?" Malak said.
"Yeah its your birthday so ask us anything" you smiled.
You'd regret that you said that soon.
"Okay!" Your sons face lit up in excitement.
"Where did I come from and how did I get in this world?" He asked.
You and Malak both sat with your mouths open.
It was quiet but you could tell Y/S/N wasn't playing.
"U-uh-uh .........your mom can tell you!" Malak said quickly wrapping his arm around your shoulder. You gasped and glared at him.
"You pussy" you mumbled so only Malak could hear.
"Which is ironically where he came from" Malak mumbled with a smirk.
"So 'mommy' tell him how we created him" Malak teased you.
You rolled your eyes and looked at your son and gulped. He was just sitting patiently waiting.
"Well-u-um......you were made by..... By..............GOD!" You said.
Malak bursted into laughter and your son looked at you funny,you ignored Malak's laughter and kept your eyes focused on your son.
"You see God created the first humans and animals,and he keeps creating them everyday all around the world in different places" you explained
"Yeah like bathroom stalls,the back of cars, or just plain out in the open" Malak added.
You bumped your knee against his as if you were saying stop it and he knew instantly to shut up.
Your son was quiet for a while just,staring at you.
You nervously chuckled. It was still silent between the 3 of you.
"Okay" Y/S/N smiled .
"Okay!?" You asked him excitedly.
"Yep I guess I know all I need to now" he said getting up. "I'm gonna get some more cake,you want some?" He asked you.
"No thank you baby" you smiled.
"What about you daddy?" He asked Malak.
"Nah man I'm good" he chuckled.
Your son nodded walking away but then he stopped and turned around "maybe you'll tell me the real story when I'm a little older yeah?" He asked.
Your jaw dropped "t-that uh ,that uh is the real story baby" you said.
"Nope" your son said shaking his head
"And what makes you think it isn't?" Malak said scooting to the edge of the couch.
"Because that's not who she calls for at night....its you" he said walking to the kitchen.
You both were too shocked.
"SHE DOES CALL FOR GOD AT NIGHT Y/S/N JUST NOT ALL THE TIME" Malak yelled towards the kitchen to your son.
You gasped and hit him with a pillow which caught him off guard.
"Hey we just be glad we not raising an idiot" he said.
What were you going to do with these two.
Jaden: your daughter is 6
Your daughter came home from school in a hurry and ran into the kitchen.
"Daddy!" She ran up to him.
"Yeah baby girl" he said bending down kissing her for head "how was school?" Jaden Asked her.
"Good,but a boy came up to me and asked me a question" she said.
"What kind of question.... A BOYFRIEND QUESTION?!" Jaden asked worriedly.
"No" Y/D/N giggled
"Oh.. Well then what was the question?" Jaden asked curiously.
"He asked me did you guys tell how I got here yet,and I said no" she replied.
"Fuck" he mumbled your daughter frowned and popped his lips.
"Watch ya mouth daddy" she scolded him. "I'm sorry princess" he apologized.
"Its ok.....so where did I come from to get here in the world?" Y/D/N asked.
"Well.....um..your mother has a magic hat and I have a magic wand and I stick my magic wand in your moms magic hat and without saying magic words ,BAM a seed magically appears in your moms hat and in a few months the seed grows and Ta-da there you are beautiful" he explained to her.
"That sounds magical and easy" she smiled amazed by what her dad just said.
"Yep I know, but its not so don't do it until your 85 ok?" he chuckled.
" Okay Daddy.The boy told me that his mom and dad did something different from what you said and -" Jaden cut his daughter off.
"They lied, now c'mon let's make some strawberry milk" he said.
Your daughter gasped "YAY LETS GO DADDY!!" She said running to the refrigerator.
Jaden got up and sighed "wait until I tell Y/n" he mumbled following his daughter.
Vinny: your son is 6
Your son was straight forward he walked to Vinny and you while your were talking in the kitchen.
"Hi sweetie" you said rubbing your sons head.
"Hi mommy" he smiled and then turned to his dad.
"What'd ya need champ" Vinny said.
"Don't give me that baby stuff I want the cold hard truth I can take it dad I promise,now tell me ....how was I made?" He asked.
It was silent for about three minute until you looked at Vinny and kissed his lips before jetting out of the kitchen.
Vinny was dumbfounded by your actions but composed himself for his son.
He cleared his throat,if your son wanted the truth he'd give him that, but not the extra brutal truth.
"Well Y/S/N, when you get older you'll be able to have this liquid in you that you can use to make children, I used mine and squirted it in between your moms legs and 9 months later you were born" Vinny explained.
"Score bitch" Vinny said inside his head.
Your son smiled "awesome I can't wait to be older" he said running out of the kitchen.
No Tre in this one let me know if I should make one for Tre in the comments down below.
Jalen: your daughter is 4
You were brushing your daughters hair and she was playing on your phone while you brushed her hair.
It was silent.
"Mommy?" Y/D/N said breaking the silence.
"Yes baby girl?" You asked.
"How did I become in this world?" She asked in a cute voice (I said it like that on purpose).
You looked up with big eyes.
"What to do,what to do.....make it as easy as possible" you thought.
You sighed and brushed her hair done more.
"Well you know how daddy loves football?" You asked her and she nodded her head yes.
"Well daddy and mommy played once by our selves and he scored a touchdown in my field" you said.
"What the hell y/n that doesn't make any sense" you scolded your self.
"He throws his football into my end zone (idk what I'm talking about so bare with me here) and scores a touchdown and gets a big trophy after nine months cause its processing and delivering and when its finish ,out comes you ma ma" you said smiling.
Your daughter giggled "ok mama now I understand" she said.
You sighed. "Later the truth,but not now" you said to your self.
Devontae: Your daughter is 5
"Daddy how'd you and mommy make me?" She asked as he tucked her into bed.
He froze for a second.
"Um well....mommy.....mommy asked me to uh" he couldn't find the words to say.
"To what daddy?" She asked.
"Mommy asked me to put a special part of me in a special part of her, for a moment we were....... In a way,stuck together and to get unstuck I had to use a special liquid that flows from inside of me,and I gave it to her and then the special liquid did something to her and .......here you are" Devontae said said nervously rubbing the back of his neck.
"Ewwww daddy why would mommy do that?" She asked.
"I don't know baby mommies like, really weird but you know I'm glad you think that's disgusting ,let's keep it that way" he says kissing her head.
"Goodnight daddy" Y/D/N said.
"Goodnight lil mama" Devontae said before turning off the lights .
"Daddy? Your daughter said stopping him.
"Yeah Y/D/N?" Devontae replied.
"Are you happy that the special liquid made me?" She asked.
Devontae paused and smiled at his little princess "I couldn't find a better achievement if I tried" that made your daughter smile which was ultimately all he ever wanted from you or your daughter.
"Oh and Y/D/N?" Devontae said.
"Yes Daddy?" She replied.
"Don't tell mommy about this ok?" He said.
"Ok daddy I won't" she giggled and closed her eyes.
He smiled and closed the door.
"Stuck together? Really Devontae?!" He said mentally scolding himself as he walked to your shared bedroom and laid beside you,cuddling against you and drifting off to a happy slumber.
A/N Which was the funniest to you? Jaden's and Vontae's had me dead!