"Vanessa!" The sound of my father's enraged voice jerks me out of my haze, "Listen to me when I speak to you!"
As I stare at the man standing before me, glaring daggers at me with his bloodshot eyes and a bottle of beer in his hand, it makes me question what possessed me to even look up to him once upon a time. I guess I was young and naive back then. But not anymore.
"Yes, sir." I gritted out.
Returning my gaze to the cutting board, I continue cutting up the vegetables in preparation for dinner.
"What was your result?"
"Abnegation," I answered, keeping my gaze down.
And Dauntless.
And Erudite.
Divergent. That's what the lady who administered my test had called it.
"You can't tell anyone," She had warned, "Not your friends, not even your family. Trust no one. It's not safe."
Marcus is none of those things, and so, he's probably the last person on this Earth I should be disclosing a secret like that to.
"What did I tell you?" He lets out a deep belly laugh like this was the best news he'd received in his life, "I told you this was where you were meant to be, didn't I?"
I steel myself as I notice Marcus moving towards me from the corner of my eye. The smell of acrid alcohol assaults my senses and the sound of my quickening heartbeat fills my ears when he reaches over, wrapping his hand around my wrist in a vice grip.
"You listen to me, Vanessa." Just like a switch being flicked on, his voice takes on a threatening tone once again. "You better not be planning on following that useless brother of yours." He scoffs, "Dauntless! Can you believe it? He chose Dauntless!"
I steady my voice, "You're hurting me. Let go."
Nothing good ever comes out of talking back to Marcus, but it gives me satisfaction knowing that I'm not cowering down to his every whim and fancy.
His grip tightens instead and he gives my arm a sharp tug, making my shoulder feel like it's about to pop out of its socket- a wordless warning to keep my mouth shut- as he continues to drone on.
"I pray to god that he's suffering in that dump every day." He slurs, "You, on the other hand, it's guaranteed that won't be your life. You have a roof over your head, food, and a nice bed. What more can ask you ask for?"
A sane father, maybe?
"I treat you well, don't I?"
The logical part of my brain knows to tell him what he wants to hear, but another part of me wants to speak the truth just to piss him off.
Eventually, self-preservation wins out. But as I open my mouth to answer him, the words get lodged in my throat as if my body was forbidding me from lying.
I watch as Marcus's face falls, darkening like the sky when clouds start to roll in just before it starts to rain.
His free hand reaches up and chokes me around my neck as takes a step forward, getting up in my face. "Answer the question, you ungrateful bitch."
"Sure," I croaked, lungs burning for air.
A placated smile stretches across his face as he reaches up and taps me on the cheek twice, looking down at me smugly when I flinched at his touch even though it was much softer than anything I know he's capable of.
"You better remember that tomorrow. Don't cross me, Vanessa. If you do, I'll kill you."
A shiver works it's way down my spine at his looming threat, because there's little doubt in my mind he'll keep his promise.
"Now, go get me another beer."
My body slumps against the counter as soon as he releases me and I suck in greedy breaths of fresh air.
"Hurry the hell up!" He yells, pulling his arm back and tossing an empty bottle at me.
The glass bottle barely misses my head, shattering into tiny pieces as it collides with the wall behind me and I quickly shield myself as they rain down on me.
I make my way over to the refrigerator, pausing for a moment before deciding to pull out two bottles instead of one and setting them in front of Marcus.
Seemingly satisfied, he pops open one bottle and gulps half of it down in one go. "That wasn't so hard was it?" He patronises.
I watch as he cleans out bottle after bottle, dinner completely forgotten by the time he was on his seventh and waited patiently.
Just as I suspected, he was out like a light before the sun had even set.
Grabbing my coat, I rush out the door, making my way down the rows of houses until I get to the field just on the borders of our sector and then continuing on until I hit the wall at the end.
Craning my neck, I peer up at the wall that loomed overhead.
To my surprise, there was still a long rope hanging off the wall and I wondered if it was the same one I had tied off at the top years ago.
Stepping forward, I wrap the rope around my hands and lean back, putting all my body weight into it to see if it would hold.
Determining that it would, I start to climb, using my feet to lift myself up as I go.
It took a while considering how long it's been since I've even attempted to climb anything. Regardless, I eventually make it to the top of the wall, heaving myself over the edge before pushing myself to my feet.
I stare out at the identical-looking houses that made up Abnegation, wondering how I even spent all my life stuck in this stuffy place. Don't get me wrong, the people aren't that bad. I just never felt like I fit.
Taking in a deep breath, I shut my eyes, enjoying the breeze on my face and inhaling the sweet scent of nature. Even though the memory from the last time I was here wasn't the best, the wall still held a special place in my heart.
Raising a hand to my left brow, I run a finger along the strip of raised flesh there. I barely remember what it looks like with the no-looking-yourself-in-the-mirror rule and whatnot.
My heart aches at the sudden reminder of my brother. I could still remember the look on his face the morning he left for his ceremony- one filled with worry and sadness.
We never discussed it, but somehow, I knew he would be leaving that day. Maybe it was because I would've done the same thing in a heartbeat. As much as I hated the thought of him leaving, I understood.
"Do you think we'll see each other again?" He'd asked as he stood in the doorway of my bedroom.
"Definitely," I'd replied without hesitation, so confidently and hopeful. Now...I guess, only time will tell.
I'd stayed until the sky darkened and the sun retreated to make way for the moon.
As soon as I had stepped foot into the house, I knew that I'd made a mistake when my gaze met Marcus's crazed ones.
I knew there was a possibility that I would get caught. Braced myself for it even. But that didn't make me dread it any less.
Still, I'd do it all again in a heartbeat. Anything for even the slightest hint of reprieve.