*in the future*
Daughter:"Mom, Dad, how did you met?"
Me:"It was love at first sight --"
Kai :"No, you raped me after our concert"
--
Suho: What are you up to?
Chen: Just watching a movie.
Suho: What's it about?
Chen: It's about a man's wife who is brutally murdered by a serial killer and his son is left physically disabled. Then in a twisted turn of events, his son is kidnapped, and the man has to chase the kidnapper thousands of miles with the help of a mentally disabled woman.
Suho: Oh god, what's it called?
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Chen: Finding Nemo.
--
(LAY nasa Mall)
LAY: Mis,pabili ng bolpen!
SALESLADY:Sori po sir,wla po kming bolpen!
LAY: Ano ba nman kayo? PENSHOPPE walang bolpen? WTF?!
--
(Chanyeol and Baekhyun)
Chanyeol: Baekla, nanood ako ng sine, mahigit P2,000 nagastos ko!
Baekhyun: Bakit?
Chanyeol: Paano, tuwing bibili ako ng ticket, pinupunit nung ale sa pinto!
Baekhyun: -______-
--
TEACHER: Introduce yourself in English
CHEN: Hi My name is Earlyseven Strikeland
TEACHER: Wow sosyal. Son of a foreigner?
CHEN: No mam. I just english my filipino name.
TEACHER: And what is your real name?
CHEN: AGAPITO HAMPASLUPA *Derp smile*
--
Chen: Nay, pinauwi po ako ng maaga kc ako lang nakasagot sa tanong ng teacher!
NANAY: Wow, ano ba'ng tanong?
Chen: Cno nambato sa kin ng eraser? (¬‿¬)
--
LUHAN: MMDA ka daw.
SEHUN: Ha?
LUHAN: (M)ahal (M)o (D)aw (A)ko
SEHUN: Nalaman mo? Nakakahiya naman. :'>
LUHAN: Wag kang mag-alala. MMK naman ako.
SEHUN: Ano yun?
LUHAN: (M)as (M)ahal (K)ita
--
When you break up with EXO
Kris: This face isn't enough for you? Just......wow
Tao: Am i to kawaii-desy for you? Should I be fierce and wushu you so we can get back together?
Luhan: No! Don't break up with me! I promise I'll be manly. /pouts
Lay: Are we even together?
Xiumin: This baozi can't live without you. /shows of his baozi cheeks.
Chen: We have to separate? What? Where you going? I'll drive you there.
Suho: If this what's makes you happy. Then, I'm glad I met you.
D.O: I can cook, sing, dance, amd do beatbox. Why are u breaking up with me?
Chanyeol: NOOOO! DON'T LEAVE ME I AM INCOMPLETE WITHOUT YOU! OW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE NOW?!!
Sehun: What? If this is about my hair color..... I swear.
Baekhyun: It's okay girl. Don't cry. I deserve better.
Kai: *takes off his shirt* You were saying something?
WAAAAAH! JONGIN! :'''>
-MilkShake