"Did you bring the flash cards?"
I hold up my huge stack of index cards so Garrett can see them. "Of course I did."
"Good. You ready to get started?"
I yawn. "In a minute?"
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah," I say through another yawn. "I'm just really tired. My sister... It's complicated."
He puts a hand on my arm. "You can talk to me."
I look into his eyes. "I know," I sigh. "It's just... I'm so mad. And sad, I guess."
Garrett waits for me to continue. I know we should get as much studying in as possible or I might not pass my test tomorrow, but it might be nice to talk to him. I've tried talking to Niyata and she always interrupts me with advice or whatever. Sometimes I just want to talk it out.
"So my sister Magenta, she and her boyfriend have been dating forever right? So like, I knew they'd get engaged. It was destined to happen. I just assumed when they did, she would be in a rush to tell me. We used to tell each other everything.
"But she didn't tell me. They got engaged more than two weeks ago and she just told me last weekend. It took her twelve days to tell me that she was getting married. She lives in my house! She hid the ring so I wouldn't see it. I don't even know why...
"And I thought, okay, my parents are going to be just as pissed because she kept it a secret from them too. Only she didn't! My dad knew first because Colton asked him for permission to marry Mags. And my mom knew second because Magenta told her right after it happened!
"And, the absolute worst part is that she didn't plan on telling me last weekend. She told me by accident because she got a bridal magazine in the mail and I was like 'Oh, are you getting ready for when Colton finally proposes?' and she gets all flustered and spills the whole thing."
I wipe a tear from my eye.
"That's rotten," Garrett says. "Why didn't she tell you?"
"I don't know!" I tell him. "She said she was waiting for a good time. It's true, our paths hadn't crossed much before Saturday. But I feel like an engagement is something you make time to tell someone. Wake me up at two am so we can scream over how beautiful the ring is! That's what you do, not wait twelve days and let it slip over a magazine."
"I'm sorry," he says. "But you should forgive her."
I laugh. "I will. She just has to apologize first."
"Have you given her a chance to?"
"No," I say. "I'm not ready to forgive her yet. It hurts too much..."
Garrett nods. "Makes sense. But you should try to get ready soon. Otherwise you'll miss out on more milestones. How far off is the wedding?"
"Not until next year but my house is wedding central right now. I feel like they'll have the whole thing planned before the year is over."
"All the more reason to forgive her," he says. "You don't want to miss out on all of the planning, you know? That's all part of it."
I wipe another stray tear from my eye. "You sure know a lot about this stuff," I say.
"My sister got married a couple of years ago."
"How long did she wait to tell you she was engaged?"
He bites his lip. "She never had to tell me because I was there. He did it at family dinner. Saves the hassle."
"Oh. That's smart. I would like that, I think."
"In a hurry to get married?"
I shake my head. "No way. But I do think about it. Don't you?"
"All the time," he mumbles. "But I'm in no rush, either. I just hope I have someone someday."
"Me, too." We're silent for a minute and I pick up my flash cards. "Enough deep stuff. I need to study."
"Yes, you do. Let's start."
Garrett starts by holding up the flashcards for me and prompting me for answers. He's good about giving hints and helping me with ways to remember all of the information.
"I think I've said this before, but you're going to make a really great teacher."
He blushes. "That means a lot to me. Especially coming from you."
When five comes around, I tell Garrett I have to get going. "You have a date, right?"
"Yeah. With Frankie. We're going to a movie."
"Yikes. Is it at least something you like?"
"It's an action movie."
He laughs. "So no."
I slide my backpack over my shoulders. "I don't have high hopes for this one. But I didn't last night either and it went great."
Garrett coughs. I wonder if he's catching a cold or something. He was coughing a lot at lunch on Monday too. "Who was last night?"
"Jeremy," I tell him. "We had a steady flow of conversation. Unlike Trevor on Tuesday. He barely said two sentences to me the whole night."
"That's rough. At least you're narrowing them down though. What happens when you have a top three?"
"I tell them the truth," I say. "It wouldn't be fair to go on two or three dates with that many people without them knowing, you know?"
"Wow. You're going to tell them about operation BBC?"
I laugh at his use of the codename. "Not the whole thing. I'm just going to admit I'm seeing a few guys to see how things pan out."
"Do you think they'll be okay with it?"
I shrug. "I have no idea, but it doesn't feel right to not tell them. So I'm going to tell them."
"You're a great person, Cassidy."
"Thanks, Garrett. So are you. Even if you are mean sometimes."
He laughs. "Will you ever let that go?"
"Absolutely not," I say. I climb in my mom's car and wave out the window before pulling away from the school parking lot. I won't have much time to change before my date with Frankie, but we'll be in a dark movie theater anyway so it doesn't matter that much. I'm just glad Mom rode to work with her boyfriend today so I could take the car.
**
Like Trevor, Frankie is late picking me up. We end up missing the previews before the movie. Considering how little interest I have in this movie, the previews were going to be the best part. That also cuts out any opportunity we have for talking, and thus far, we haven't done much.
I completely cross Frankie off the list when he slides an arm around my shoulder and tries to make-out with me halfway through the movie. Not only are action films non conducive to making out, in my opinion, but this is our first date and we haven't spoken more than five words to each other.
When he drops me off, I get out of the car and practically run to my door.
Inside, my sister is once again on the couch reading a magazine with a white dress on the cover. I think back to my conversation with Garrett earlier today and realize he's right. What if she's already picked a dress and I didn't get to be there?
"Hey," she says when she sees me. "Another date right? How did it go?"
"Crappy," I tell her. She seems genuinely surprised that I spoke to her. "Have you picked a dress yet?"
"No," she says. "I wouldn't do that without you."
I scoff. "You'd just get engaged without telling me."
"I'm sorry, Cass. I messed up. I wanted to tell you right away but I didn't know how you'd react. Then I just kept putting it off. I didn't want you to be mad."
"Why would I be mad? I love Colton and I love you."
"I know you do. I just didn't know if you'd feel betrayed or whatever. I'm going to be moving out of this house and making a new life."
A tear falls from my eye. I'm so sick of crying over this. "Just because you have a new life doesn't mean you get to forget your old life. Forget me."
"I could never forget you," she promises. "You are as much a part of this new life as you have been the old. I swear."
"Okay," I say. "I forgive you. I'm not okay with you keeping the engagement a secret, but I can't be mad forever. I don't want to miss out on everything. I want to be there when you go dress shopping."
"Of course. You have to be there. Lord knows I'll pick the first dress I try on because it's such a pain to change. I need you to tell me no if it's ugly."
"I can do that," I tell her. I sit next to her on the couch and lean my head on her shoulder. "I love you, Magenta. Please don't keep any more secrets from me."
She kisses the top of my head. "I won't." She flips a page in her magazine. "Want to tell me about your date?"
"No," I laugh. "It was terrible. But I have two more dates this week that will hopefully be better."
"Five dates in one week?"
"I'm trying something out. Five guys, five dates. Narrow it down to three who get second dates. Two get third dates. And one gets to be my boyfriend. It's kind of like a bad game, but I'm going to tell the top three that I'm not seeing them exclusively."
Mags nods. "I get it. This time of year it's hard to be single. Just don't get so caught up in these five guys that you fail to notice any others that might be better."
I promise I won't and head up to my room. Before I get into bed, I text Garrett that I let my sister apologize. He responds with a smiley face and a goodnight text.
I fall asleep thinking about what my sister said.
Is it possible there's a guy not on my list that should have been?
**
Friday afternoon, I spend the entire lunch and post-lunch break going over the flashcards Garrett had me make. I still don't feel super confident about the history test but I feel more confident than I did on Monday so that's got to count for something?
I'm propped up against my locker shuffling the cards when someone sits next to me. "Preparing too much can actually fry your brain."
"Not preparing enough can fry your chances of going to a good college," I counter.
Garrett raises his hands in concession. "Just take a few deep breaths, Cassidy. You've got this in the bag. You did really well with the cards yesterday. I know you know the material. You can do this."
I stop looking at the cards but I still fiddle with them. "Why do you call me Cassidy?"
"That's your name..."
I laugh. "I know, but everyone else calls me Cass. Even people who barely know me."
Garrett shrugs. "I don't know. I like your full name."
"Me too," I say.
"I know," he admits. "I heard you telling Niyata once that you wish more people would call you Cassidy. I figured I could help you out. I like it better than Cass anyway. Cass reminds me of that character from that TV show everyone watches."
"That's Cas with one S though."
"Still."
I look at him. His light brown hair has gotten so long it's falling onto his face. I have a sudden urge to push it back so I can see his hazel eyes. I resist that urge.
Garrett glances over and catches me staring at him so I look back at my lap and pick up the notecards. We still have time left before the warning bell rings. "If you insist on sitting here with me, can you at least quiz me?"
He sighs. "My pep talk didn't work?"
I shake my head. "It means everything that you believe in me," I tell him. "But I don't have the same confidence in myself. History is my kryptonite."
He holds up a card and I recite the relevance of the date and the key people involved. Garrett laughs. "You kind of sound like a robot."
"Thanks."
"No, it's cute." It occurs to me this isn't the first time he's called me cute this week. I can't say I don't like it. "But I want you to give me the information for the next card in reverse order."
"What do you mean?"
"Start with the key people, then name the event, then why it is relevant."
"Okay," I say. He holds up the next card and I have to think for a second. My first instinct is to give the relevance of the date since that's what I wrote first on the card.
I think I get why he wanted me to reverse the order.
It doesn't take me long to give Garrett a sufficient answer. He smiles. "Good. You haven't just memorized the facts but you can put them in context. For the next one, give me the name of the event, the people involved, the relevance, and then the events that happened before to insight this one and the one that followed immediately after."
A bell ringing would be brilliant right now to save me from this study torture. But the bell won't ring for another five minutes so I'm forced to do as Garrett says. And it's not nearly as hard as I expect.
"Cassidy," he says. "You're ready."
I bite my lip. "Are you sure? This test counts for like, a third of our final grade."
"You're going to do fine."
"Fine isn't good enough!"
He sighs. "Cassidy, you know the material. The only thing that will keep you from getting an A is you. I know you. You overthink things and second guess yourself. Try not to do that. You know the answers. They're in here." He taps my temple with a light finger. "Trust yourself."
"Your students are going to hate you and love you at the same time."
Garrett laughs. "I think any great teacher wants that."
We stand up as the warning bell rings. I take a deep breath and exhale slowly, trying to calm my nerves. Even though Garrett has a good six inches on me and he could get to the classroom twice as fast as I can, he matches my pace. We walk together in comfortable silence.
I hadn't realized before how much of the time I spend with Garrett is filled with silence but it's never awkward. When we're at work, we talk about a lot of things, but we're also quiet a lot too. It's nice to know I never have to fill the void when I'm with him like I feel like I have to with other people.
In the classroom, I sit in my usual seat near the front while Garrett takes his spot in the back. I asked him once, why he wouldn't sit closer so he could sit next to me. His answer: "I'm too tall. I'd block everyone behind me."
I think that's a great answer.
Garrett waits for me outside after the test. "So?"
I chew my lip. "I think I did really well, but who knows? I might have mixed up all of the dates and people and places and relevance..."
He pulls me in for a hug, resting his head on top of mine. We fit perfectly like this. "You nailed it I'm sure," he tells me. "We'll know positively on Monday. Try not to stress all weekend."
"I won't," I tell him. "I have dates to think about anyway."
Garrett's body stiffens and he pulls away from me, ending the warmest hug I've ever had. "Right. Lucky numbers four and five."
We walk toward English, our last and my favorite class of the day. "Do you have any tips for me? You know Taylor and Thompson pretty well..."
"Just be yourself," he says, his voice sounded a little strained. "They'd be idiots not to like you."
"It's not even the liking me part that I'm worried about," I say. "So far with Trevor and Frankie there has been like zero conversation. I'm worried I'm the boring one."
Garrett laughs. "Cassidy Cruise, you are the farthest thing from boring."
I grin at him. "Thanks. That means a lot."
"You're welcome," he says. "See you tomorrow?"
"Yeah, see you."
We enter the classroom and each move to our respective parts of the classroom. Maybe it's a good thing we don't sit near each other. I'd want to talk to him during the entire class if we did. It's hard enough with Niyata sitting in front of me. I'm always whispering things to her when the teacher isn't looking. I'd have detention every day if I had Garrett next to me too.
But it would probably be worth it.