*Bella*
Sunday
10:16 AM
I groaned, squeezing my eyes shut as I pressed my face deeper into Justin's chest, feeling his arms tighten around me.
"I thought you were never going to wake up."
"What time is it?"
"A little after ten."
"What?!" I flew up, then grabbed the sheet and held it to my chest. "What time did we get home? I-I don't remember that...Holy crap my head. Justin what the hell did we do?!"
"We went to your friends Halloween party...and you drank."
"Well yeah, but holy crap. I don't remember any of that party except when we got there."
"We had a lot of fun." He chuckled, sitting up beside me and hugged my waist, rolling his tongue by my ear.
"Yeah, I can see that...Did you drink?"
"A little, but not a lot so I could drive us home."
"I drank a lot, didn't I."
"I stopped you a few times, but yes. You were very drunk."
"And I guess that's part of the reasons why I'm not dressed."
"Partly." He chuckled again, kissing my shoulder.
"What did I do?"
"I don't think you want to know."
"Oh no!" I groaned, and he pulled me back closer, kissing my shoulder again.
"You're probably making it out to be more than it is..."
"Then what is it?"
"It's probably best you don't worry about it...because when I tell you you'll freak a little, and if I don't tell you you'll freak a little...but what you did wasn't illegal, or embarrassing, or in front of a bunch a of people...so you're ok."
"What did it have to deal with?"
"What do you think?"
"Yup, I got it...I should really get a shower...you have to leave soon."
"Yeah, I do."
"I hate it when you leave." I sighed, his lips trailing up to my cheek.
"Me too...but I'll be up next week...hopefully."
"Hopefully?"
"Yeah...I was thinking maybe I could spend time with Jazzy- my family a little bit. If you really want me to come up I'll-"
"No, it's alright. You should spend time with your family."
"Thank you."
"Yeah, of course. Don't feel like you have to come every weekend. I don't know how you do it."
"The money from all of those jobs honestly...but it's being put to good use."
"Save it if you can...you'll never know when you'll need it."
"I am," He kissed the side of my head, then stood up and slipped on a pair of his shorts. "I'm going to get a shower. What do you want to do for breakfast?"
"It doesn't matter to me...I'm ok with cereal if you are."
"Sure, that's fine." He smiled, then disappeared into the bathroom.
I stood up, getting dressed myself and threw my hair up in a ponytail.
I probably looked horrible, and I didn't really care.
I wanted medicine to get rid of this headache.
And I wanted to remember what the hell happened last night.
______________
*Justin*
1:47 PM
"I'll call you tonight." I told Bella, pressing my lips to the side of her head.
"Ok, be careful driving home."
"Always am, love you."
"I love you too." She stood up on her tiptoes, pressing her soft lips on mine.
"Bye."
"Bye."
I chuckled before I walked out, hearing the door click shut behind me and started down the hallway.
I had some homework to do for tomorrow...calculus, which wasn't that hard for me. I was definitely taking another math next semester...and maybe another science. The cooking class was cool...and I've learned a lot...but I could get the math and science classes I needed to do engineering...and there was so many things I could do with that.
One day, I could be providing for Bella...and our family. She'd have her music, and we'd live in a small house with our kids...here or New York...maybe even outside the city.
I'd graduate first. I'd marry her when u had a job and I'd go to be with her, far away from D.C. where all the memories if that gang lingered...
I'd make her happy...
I could be an engineer. I've always thought about being a mechanical engineer, I enjoyed math and science...and I would be doing something with my life.
I pushed the door open out of the apartment building, walking down to my car that was a little down the block and unlocked it, tossing my bag into the backseat once I was inside.
Right as I was about to start the car, my phone buzzed in my pocket, and I pulled it out, looking at an unfamiliar number, but decided to answer anyway.
"Hello?"
"Hi...Justin?" A girls voiced asked.
"...Yes?"
"Oh, good, it's you. It's Angela... I wanted to let you know I'm having a party at my house again tomorrow if you wanted to come."
"Oh...I don't know...I don't think my girlfriend would be ok with that."
"Are you around her right now? Just don't tell her. There's nothing wrong with having fun. It's not a big deal."
"I just don't know. Last time I kind of woke up in your house."
"And you were still in your clothes, weren't you? That just proves you actually had fun. I had fun too, come on."
"Maybe I'll come for a little while, but not long."
"It's good to get out anyways. You know you'll have fun, and you don't have school the next morning, I don't either."
"You don't?"
"Nah. Tuesdays I don't have any classes, but that's it."
"Ok, I'll come. But I can't spend the night again like that. Even if it was an accident."
"I thought you were only coming for a little while?"
"I- I am." I corrected, fiddling with my chains on my neck. "Hey, how did you get my number."
"I have my ways. I'll see you in the morning Justin."
And she hung up.
I stared at my phone for another minute before I sat it in the passenger seat, clearing my throat and turned the key.
She was right, it was just fun, and Bella wouldn't know.
______________
*Bella*
8:13 PM
"Hi Dad." I curled up into my couch, pressing my phone closer to my ear.
"Hey Bell. I miss you. How are you?"
"I'm ok," I shrugged, pulling down the sleeve of Justin's sweatshirt. "How are you? Are you getting nervous for the election?"
"Yeah I am, but we'll be fine. We're in the lead right now, so that's good. Are you coming home for thanksgiving?"
"I should hear from a few places for work soon, and hopefully I'll put enough aside to come home."
"You're coming home. I'll pay for your gas and everything. You're coming home. I want to see you."
"I know... I miss home so much...I just wanted to pay for-"
"It's ok. I want to. I know you've been working really hard, and I want to see my daughter...plus you could see Justin a little more while you're home."
"I do see him now...but I'm sure he'd like that. I really do want to come home."
"You are. When do you get out of school?"
"Um, I'm off the 15th I think, and I'd have to go back two weeks after that Monday...if that makes sense."
"It does. Would you want to come home that Friday?"
"Yeah, sure, I'd like that a lot."
"Good. I'll put a check in the mail for you tomorrow, and I'll put your rent in there too, ok?"
"Dad-"
"It's the least I can do Bella. You're keeping up with school and now finding a job...I know it's hard, but I'm insisting."
"Next time I'll have it. I'm just trying to wait to hear back from some of the stores."
"Be patient honey. I'm sure they'll get back to you."
"Yeah...I hope so. I still have some homework to do."
"Alright, I'll let you go. I love you."
"Love you too Dad."
After a second, I hung up, going over to my text books and stared at the math I had to do.
I hated Math. I also hated Science. English I could do...and I enjoyed Social Studies classes...and it's not like I was bad at math...I just didn't like it. It bored me.
But I had to do it...I needed good grades...I needed to stay focused.
At least on weekdays.
_______________________
*Justin*
Monday:
11:13 PM
"This is literally all you've ever done?" Angela asked, sitting beside me holding her joint between her fingers while I pulled mine down from my lips.
"Yup."
"How is that? This is nothing compared to everything else?"
"Like what?"
"I like LSD...Ecstasy was alright, but LSD gives you this awesome trip that can last a couple a couple of hours to half of the day. Obviously I don't do it when I have school...and it's better in the night."
"Why?"
"I don't know, you see more...plus there's not getting caught. Once during a trip, I looked in a mirror and the whole thing turned into an ocean. I could control the waves with my finger."
"Really? That sounds sick." I chuckled, letting out the smoke, and from the corner of my eye I saw her scoot a little closer, but that might have just been me.
"It is. You'd know if you tried it."
"Bella would kill me."
"Is that her name? Bella?"
"Yeah, that's her." I smiled a little, my eyes falling to the joint in my hand.
"What's she like?"
"Well, she's really sweet - and stubborn... She's good at fighting for what she believes in, and she's pretty independent, especially when it comes to living in New York-"
"She lives in New York?"
"Yeah," I nodded, laughing for no reason. "She's a petite little thing, and when she gets mad it's like Boom, you're in for it. She's really good at the silent treatment. It's really hard to make her mad, but I think I've been doing that a lot lately...and she gets sad too...she hates being alone, even if she is independent. I know what that's like, being alone."
"I think we all do a little bit."
"She's had it most of her life...but she's a strong girl, she's been through a lot, and so have I. I love her."
"Would you die for her?"
"In a heartbeat."
"Would she die for you?"
"Yeah, I think so..." I thought about for a minute, not bothering to smoke. "We've had a lot of talks...and she's always been there for me. I remember when I found out my mom had cancer, and she was there. When I've come home hurt from things I did in my past, she was there. I'm going to marry her one day."
"You're set on that?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"What you do if she didn't want that?"
"I don't know...I'm pretty sure she does."
"Have you guys ever talked about it?"
I felt my eyebrows come together then, and I looked forward, really thinking.
Had we? Had I told her that's what I wanted one day?
"I actually don't think so..." I admitted, bringing my joint back up to my lips. "Let's talk about something else."
"Ok, like what?"
"I don't know." I laughed, and she laughed with me, cracking up so hard her head leaned over and rested on my shoulder for a minute.
I probably would have pushed her away normally, but I wasn't exactly in a normal state. I was completely loopy, and it seemed she was too, and she knew I had a girlfriend- so it's not like it was on purpose.
"We're laughing about nothing." She giggled, sitting up straight and stood up.
"Whoa, be careful." I got up, steadying her, and then let go, looking around her basement. "How do you not get caught?"
"My dad's never home." She shrugged, looking out the window. "Oh! It's raining outside!"
"Yeah, an-"
She started to open the door, but I stopped her, hooking an arm around her waist to pick her up and put her on the other side of me, locking the door up.
"You're no fun."
"You are not the first person that has said that to me." I shrugged, finishing off the rest of my joint. "It's kind of nice being down here instead of up there."
"Tell me about it. Some guy would have been hitting on me already and well we all know what happens from there."
"I kind of used to be that guy," I admitted, feeling myself bite my lip as I started to laugh again. "I'm sorry I can't help it."
"It's ok." She smiled at me, bursting out into laughter again to the point we were both on the floor.
I stared at the ceiling, fascinated by the little ways it moved.
"What does this mean?" She asked, pointing to one of my tattoos.
"Oh, that's like my mom watching. I got it a few weeks after I found out my mom had cancer.
"And this one?" She trailed down with her finger tips, all the way to the angel on my wrist.
"It's just an angel I guess. Maybe Bella, I'm not sure...I don't really remember the reason I got it."
"Do you want any more of them?"
"Yeah, I want a rose by the tiger, and eventually stuff to fill up the other arm. If Bella lets me, but I don't think she would mind."
"Why do you always do everything as long as she's ok?"
"I'm here aren't I?"
"Yes, but she doesn't know. What would she even do if she found out?"
"I'm not really sure," I shrugged, turning my head to look at her. "She'd be mad, and disappointed...and then I'm here with you so that adds to it...especially when I've given her crap about hanging out with this guy Trent, but he was clearly into her so that's different."
"So you don't like it when they hang out?"
"They aren't anymore. Last time they did, he kissed her - and he ended up punching me in the face when I went to talk to him. I didn't go to fight. Maybe a few months ago I would have, but I didn't this time - because as much as I dislike the guy Bella cares about him - but in a different way. Although I saw him Friday night at her gig...and I don't know how the hell he knew it was there or why he bothered to show up, but he did."
"Well did you ask Bella?"
"No," I frowned, raising an eyebrow. "She promised she wouldn't be around him anymore. I'm guessing maybe she told him before he kissed her and he still decided to go. I don't know. This time if he gets near her I will hit him."
"What if she did tell him recently?"
"But she didn't."
"What if she did?" She raised her eyebrow back, throwing her hands up in the air. "I mean think about it. You were mad before, and why would she tell you if she told him? So you'd get mad at her? I'm not saying that's a bad thing because I'd be mad too. How was she when you found out? I mean...did he kiss her and she kissed him back? Did he just kiss her-"
"Yeah, he just kissed her."
"And you're positive?"
"Yes Angela." I couldn't help the annoyance that came out of me. "She's never lied to me before, and she told me in person the day I saw her. It's not like I found out, she actually told me, and she was crying...she promised."
"If she asked you to stop being friends with me, would you?"
"I'd feel awful..." I admitted. "But honestly...I think I would. I love her, I hope you understand that. She's my whole world...and if I lost her..."
"I know, I know."
"But she doesn't know. It's never come up really. Hell - I'm surprised she hasn't caught onto anything. I called her before the party...but usually we talk through the night...I just said I had homework to do. She's never lied to me and I constantly am doing things behind her back."
"In some ways she has to loosesn up. Let me ask you something, how old are you?"
"I'm 20, why?"
"Damn...I mean, I actually thought you were 18, but anyway, you're 20 years old. You should be able to live the life you want and have fun."
"It's how I lost my family though. She's trying to protect me. She cares. That's a whole other story in itself, but she cares."
"You think other people don't?"
"No, I'm not saying that. My best friend did - does, but he's gone right now. I can't talk to him until he's allowed to write me a letter, which won't be for a few weeks. Mike and I are cool, but these days it's hard to see him with school and visiting Bella, and he has a girlfriend of his own. I love my parents, but my dad just kicked me out. He didn't care enough at that point obviously, and I pushed my mom away...I wasn't allowed to talk to my brother or little sister. She helped me get them back."
"Then why are you here? If this is the reason you lost them before?"
"I have my own place now. I can go home and sleep it off. No one will know. I'm fine in the morning, and I'm going to take my little sister out tomorrow anyway."
"I'm not letting you drink or smoke anything else tonight. It's official."
"And why is that?"
"Because I'm not letting you spend time with your sister like that. Where are you going to take her?"
"I don't know. Maybe to the park or something, and I'll take her out to eat. She has half days at kindergarten, so I usually pick her up and take her home."
"I'm sure she looks forward to that. Especially after not having you in her life for so long."
"Yeah..." I whispered, trailing off slightly. "I regret that."
We stayed quiet then, and I noticed how close I was...probably too close...and I sat myself up, rubbing my palms on my jeans.
"Maybe I should go."
"Oh no. You're not leaving high. Wait till it wears off."
"I want to go home."
"Justin, stop. Sit down."
Before I had been all giggly and stuff...but now...now I was just sad. Hunter was gone, Bella's not here, yeah my mom is in remission, but she's still having the symptoms because it hasn't worn off yet...
"You're one of those moody people when you get high, aren't you?"
"If I was around Bella I would not be this way." I mumbled, sitting on the couch and rested my elbows on my knees with my chin propped in my hands.
"And how would you be?"
"What do you think?"
"Oh...got it. Have you ever been-"
"Nope." I shook my head, then looked over at the wall. "Actually...I've been drunk around her before. I mean she's been drunk around me quite a few times and that's always a lot of fun...but I remember it was right around the time we first started dating - I walked to her house drunk and when up her patio to the balcony by her room, and I just remember kissing her, and she made me lay down on her couch and sleep...I tried to sneak away the next morning but she caught me...and I guess after that it just kind of continued. When I first met her I didn't think it was going to be anything...like I said, I used to be one of those guys that sometimes went to the club or parties just for the sex, not necessarily the drugs and stuff."
"Well I guess now you don't have to do that."
"Nope...not really..." I chuckled nervously, fiddling with my hands. "I wish she was here. I think she'd like you."
"I doubt that. We seem like completely different people. Very different people."
"Her and I are different."
"Well that's different."
"We just said different four times." I laughed, trying to contain it as I fell away from her.
"Five actually."
"Oh my goodness."
_______________________
*Bella*
Tuesday
1:19 PM
"Would you stop freaking out. He's five hours away. What is he going to do, run over like the flash and take you away from me?" Trent asked beside me, putting his hand on my arm. "Relax."
"You make it sound like it's that easy."
"It is. He's not here. You're not going to get caught eating lunch with me. Stop worrying."
"Well when you say it like that it sounds awful." I frowned, resting my chin in my palm.
"Hey, I'll take it if this is how it has to be. Everybody's happy, aren't they?"
"I guess so."
"Now will you eat? How do you not eat? After these classes all I can think about is food."
"I don't know...I'm just not really hungry much these days."
"Eat. You're little enough, and just a salad, come on. Where's your protein?"
"Are you done parenting me?" I raised an eyebrow, then regretted it. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"
"Stop, it's alright. Don't worry about it. Just eat...have you found out about any of the jobs yet?"
"Yeah, Forever 21 called me yesterday, and I have an interview on Friday."
"What about Justin?"
"He's not coming this weekend...he's spending time with family."
"Oh, I'm sorry."
"It's ok. I don't expect him to come every weekend. It's hard."
"Yeah, but you're in that apartment all by yourself."
"I manage, I get homework done, and I get to write more music."
"You could always chill with me."
"And what if Justin were to call me? Then what would I do? And I'd just be a guilty mess if you came over to mine."
"Ok, fine, we do something else."
"Like what?"
"This is New York. What isn't there to do here?"
"Well, there aren't many bowling alleys, the movie theatre is towards the outside of the city, you can't really get groceries unless you go that way too, and a slice of pizza is maybe ten dollars with a soda and -"
"Ok, ok. I get your point. I wouldn't mind pizza though..."
"Ugh, I know. Pizza sounds awesome."
"We can do that...if you want..."
"Trent...last time we went out as friends...it didn't end so well."
"Yeah, I guess it's not a good idea."
"Yeah..." I trailed off, stabbing at the salad with my fork and finally ate some of it. "I'll be ok. I have some books I can read."
"You know, you didn't really strike me as a reader when I met you."
"I am, I like to curl up with blankets and tea and read."
"Now that you say that it doesn't surprise me."
"Hey," Jess sat down beside me, glancing at Trent and then me. She knew the situation...and was on Justin's side.
"Hi." I smiled at her, pretending that there was nothing wrong, and Rachael sat beside her with Aaron.
I knew that it probably wasn't a smart idea, but I was trying to make everyone happy. I wanted Justin - I loved Justin, but I also wanted to be friends with Trent...
Justin means everything to me...and I've already hurt him once with this.
Maybe this was a bad idea....
"You alright Bella?" Trent asked, pulling me from my thoughts.
"Yeah, I'm ok." I nodded, stabbing at my salad again.
I didn't know what to do...
___________
SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE I HAD A REALLY BAD WEEKEND. Anyways...what should Bella do?
Please comment :)