November 7, 2014
I was extremely happy for Cameron, his trailer for the movie he's been working on is finally out. He's been working so hard and I know I'll love it. I couldn't help but praise him every now and then. He didn't like it much but I didn't care.
I had to get dressed to see my mom and sisters, my dad and little brother didn't want to drive all the way out here so just the girls came.
I quickly got dressed then headed to see them as they were waiting for me at the restaurant down the street.
When they came into view I was awfully happy. I haven't seen them in awhile.
"Mom!" I waved at her and a huge smile grew on her face. We hugged and I hugged my sisters.
"Matt?" my baby sister asked. I shook my head, "No, babe, he's busy with something."
She frowned at me, "Call.." she pleaded. She was was only 3 but his name is the only thing she can say right. I'd rather not tell her me and Matt aren't friends but I'd hate to ruin her love for him.
She wanted me to call him, so I whipped out my phone as my sister looked at me sadly, she knew something was up. I dialed his number then held the phone to my ear.
A click sound happened then the line went staright to voicemail. I sighed, "He didn't answer Rosie.. He's busy okay?" She frowned and nodded slightly.
"You okay?" my mom asked.
"I'm good, me and Matt are just in one of those arguments." I said.
She rolled her eyes, "Another one? Wow. And how's Cameron?" I smiled, "Really good, today his trailer for his movie Expelled came out and I'm so happy for him." My mom smiled, "That's so good, send me the link and I'll look at it later."
I smiled, "Yeah for sure."
We talked awhile until my little sister started to fall asleep.
At this point I was also super happy for my mom, she was doing so much better since she was in an abusive relationship with the father of my smaller sister. I lived them druring the entire thing, my school dropped and I was on a freshmen. I never wanted to leave my family in the house with him alone. My mom began drugs and alcohol every night. He had made her forget who she was.
One night about 2 years ago, things had gotten really bad and the police were called. He went to prison and we never saw him again. That is one of the reason I'm not so fond of "God".
I cried every night hoping someone would help my mom. Nothing ever happened. She kept being hurt and pushed around. It was so bad, I became depressed and my anxiety was through the roof because I was scared of every one and everything. I couldn't imagine how my siblings and my mom felt. All I knew was that I'd try my best to protect them.
Now, she's doing better and she has made a lot of progress. I want to say that so have I but I still get horrible feelings that ache in my stomach.
You help everyone else, giving them your all, just to have yourself stripped from who you are. You leave yourself vulnerable and people tend to break you down as if you are everything less than a human. You have to push back and know you can hold your own. That's why I thank Nash every time I get, he's helped so much. So has Cathy, she is my other sister, so many times I've wnated to just break and sit in a hole, sometimes for the most ridiculous reason and she would still stand by me.