Here's what I've learned from being a chick-flick – and chocolate and cookies Häagen-Dazs - addict: there's no such thing as 'true love'; if you're in a love triangle, it's probably with two girls and just ONE guy; a woman won't find someone who'll love her by accidentally pouring coffee into the guy's shirt; and finally, you won't have a background upbeat song to match your mood – at least out loud. So, how do these fantasies come to life? How do people make money with such blunt lies? Easy: Disney movies!
Yeah, Disney movies. Go back in time, in your mind, just for a minute. Remember when you were like thiiiiis little, and your momma used to buy the Disney movies VHS? You watched them all day long. Princesses who barely said a word! Princes in white stallions with brightly straight white teeth and perfect hair. And finally, the ride into the sunset finale. All the time this story happened. Over and over and over again. So you grew up with this stupid fantasy that one day a prince would come and get you out of your miserable boring empty life, toss you over his shoulder and be happily ever after.
Admit it. You did.
And you still do, sometimes. Especially after a nasty break up. No matter where you're from, what your beliefs may be, you keep telling yourself – even if you totally deny to your friends, 'cause, you know, you're an independent twenty first century woman – that one day, an awesome guy/girl, will come into your life, and sweep you off your size seven feet.
It won't.
Believe me!
You know how I know? Easy: I'm that girl too. Really, I am. It looks kinda conflicting, but yeah, I'm that girl too. The girl close to her thirties that grew up watching Happy Ever After stories. Over and over and over and over again. Point made.
I still think about Prince Charming. But he's gotta have an Ivy League degree – doesn't have to be a real Prince, but that would give him extra credit -; a nice car; a great apartment in my favorite city and current address, New York; has to be some sort of artist, singer or painter or photographer – fashion would be best -, I don't discriminate; he has to be a bad boy with depth, I get the hots for that; and finally, he has to be funny, charming but not too much sweet, and of course, a little dose of arrogance always adds a something especial to it.
So, I'm not picky. I just want what the books and movies promised me. I have the right to it!
"You're late" My best friend and flat mate Harmony chirped, while stretching in the living room as she did her yoga.
"Yes, thank you" I groaned, running to our tight kitchen and grabbing the first thing that came in contact with my hand.
"A cookie ain't breakfast." She groaned, changing her position to the lotus... something "You should eat oatmeal. It would do wonders to your bowel."
"Great quote. So Dalai Lamaish." I teased, and filled my black travel mug with some fresh made coffee; I shriked as I got fried by the bitch "The coffee machine is trying to kill me again."
"Don't make me go in there, you two." Harmony teased "I'm serious, G. You're gonna get an ulcer from so much coffee." She warned me, while wrapping her navy blue yoga mattress "And get sick, and die before you turn thirty."
"You're really lucky that Ah love you." I smiled, kissing her blushed hollow cheek and grabbing my purse again "Where are my keys...?"
"Just be yourself, today." She told me, her skinny arms stretching over her strawberry blonde shoulder length hair "You know that's the best policy."
"Actually, the best policy is to lie about yourself, smile and be professional." I assured her, looking for my keys in the damn key bowl by the door "Found them!"
Harmony sighed while she pulled our small round white coffee table to the straw carpet again. The sheer white curtains where open so the sunlight could catch our many flowers in the floor by the windows. Harmony's idea of a garden in New York. You can take the girl out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the girl. My momma says that.
"Well, anyway, good luck today." She smiled, her pretty perfect smile could make anything brighter "Whatever happens, just come see me at the shop, ok?"
"Promise" I smiled.
"Break a leg!" She tossed, waving and smiling.
"With my luck, Ah might do just that..." I grunted as I ran barefoot to the front door of our tiny apartment "Harm, have you seen my vintage Manolo?!"
"Under the keys' table by the door. No, the other- that's the one." She smiled, her pretty thin perfect white smile on a pretty porcelain skin face "Go start your career!"
"It's today. Ah can feel it!" I smiled and ran out the door.
When I was a little girl, my momma used to tell me that every person has its own purpose on earth, that everyone is special in their own way. Even when your school friends tease you for being fat. Momma said that I was gonna grow up to be important too. That I was a little princess – see? – lost in the world, and that someday I would find my prince, and have my own castle and my own white horse.
Of course, my momma also believed a tray of fresh made cookies could solve any problems a person might have, so... Still, she was the love of my life. And my two nieces.
So, my career was about to start. Yep, at twenty nine – God...! – I was ready to start working my way to the top. I've had jobs. Duh, I'm a grown woman, not that much of a failure! I had careers... Ok, I had jobs. I tried to have a career. It's hard, though. People don't take humor very well, or creativity.
I've tried a career in Starbucks, flower magazine – big flop there... -, as a dentist's receptionist. That one was a big fat failure, too. Scared a kid once by playing with a drill.... C'mon, people, he was gonna get an anesthesia first! So much drama! I've also been a Telemarketer. Boring! But my nails were always fierce. Was a hairdresser's assistant for a day, 'till the girl found out I didn't really know how to wash hair with weaves. All in all, all my attempts at having a career failed. Not this time!
I've been going crazy to find some job interviews. And my opportunity came like a miracle from our lord Jesus Christ! Or Donald Trump, depends on what you believe, really. I was reading my morning Vogue, while I looked to the guy next to me – he was really cute, I remember that well; had a great Prada suit and wonderful moccasins -, and saw the front news of the New York Times' cover. So apparently big shot Maverick von Hauser, head of the von Hauser Publications had died in a car crash with his longtime lover and Editor-in-chief of Pandora fashion magazine, Lin Germaine. How romantic...! Just like Diana of Wales and Dodi. Or Ugly Betty, depends on your mood.
So how was that good news to me? Well, apparently Maverick von Hauser's son would take over von Hauser Publications. And he needed a secretary! Yep, I was gonna go on that interview today! A beautiful spring morning in Manhattan, just any other day, and I was gonna get a nice job! Just one more step to the final goal. What's the final goal? Well, I want to be a fashion icon!
"Holy cow..." I mumbled, as I stood in front of the big steel and glass building "That's some big shack, right there..."
I glanced at my wrist watch and shrieked. Shit! I was gonna be late if I didn't run to the... what was the damn floor again?! Thirty five? Forty. No, wait... Twenty three?
"Hold the elevator!" I cried as the doors of the large silver elevator started to close "Please, wait up!"
I ran and squeezed into the already packed space. People whined and groaned. Life's tough, people, get a grip. I couldn't get late, I needed this job!
And to get it, I needed to look professional. So, I purposely chose a very professional and classic, yet elegant, outfit. I'm a sucker for vintage, so I had a simple A-cut black dress with short sleeves, with a round tall neck that had three pretty lines of bright pearls. I got my inspiration from Audrey Hepburn at Breakfast at Tiffany's – I don't think she would mind. I decided to wear my hair up in a bun, the blond waves would get in the way of the pearls and, honestly, I play with my hair when I'm nervous... Nice tights to hold in the extra extra EXTRA fat – size twelve... gotta learn how to work with it -, and some nice black peep toe heels. My small handbag, a beautiful Gucci black polished purse, made the ensemble fierce.
Shit, the earrings!
When the elevator reached the thirties floor, there were only a couple of people in the not so spacious place. Grabbing my hand mirror I checked to see if the tiny pearls would look good or dull. They looked great. Oh shit! What da hell was that?!
"Crap... sunflower seed...!" I moaned, and with my perfectly soft salmon polished nail, I tried to get it out.
I looked around while I did it, and a guy in a suit was looking straight at me with a disgust and disturbed look. I swept my tongue over my teeth and then smiled, putting the mirror away.
"Job interview. Gotta look our best, right?" I smiled, and he looked away, with a sneer "Guess not..."
When I got to the fortieth floor – Oh, that was the one! -, I ran again, getting to the redhead receptionist in the big tall open wide lobby.
"Hi." I smiled, and the woman held up her finger for me to wait, while she babbled nonstop to her headset "Ok..."
So I had to wait... Might as well take a look around. Marble floor, big white walls with navy blue wooden boards in some of them, in a very artistic set. Only a couple of white vases with green bushes. Nothing too personal. The glass windows gave a great view over Manhattan. The Empire State Building a few streets up.
I've never actually met the von Hauser son. Looks like he's a very discreet guy, or maybe I'm just really clueless. Yeah... that might be it...
When I took another look into the city view, I gasped. Great... My hot pink lipstick was smudge! Crap! I looked like I've been having dirty sex minutes ago! Great first impression, honey!
"Miss McAllister?" The receptionist called, while I worked my best to clean the smudges "You can come in now. Mr. von Hauser will receive you."
I nodded and followed the hall she gestured me. I knocked on the wooden door and a man's voice told me to get in.
Wow... the office is a dream! On the left side, one could see Manhattan through the glass windows. The desk was just a black simple thing, with a white computer. There were some shelves on the white walls, and a small area with a black table and two white couches, probably for meeting purposes. There was some glass furniture with files and books. No pictures or any kind of personal attachment around... Freaks...
"Mr. von Hauser. Hello, Ah'm-"
"Seat." The man behind the desk said, turning his chair and gesturing for me to come closer "Miss McAllister, is that correct?"
"Yes, sir. Georgia McAllister. As you can see in my file, Ah've graduated from Tennessee State in-"
"I'm well aware of your résumé, Miss McAllister." The man interrupted me and looked up "I just r-"
I gasped and winced. Crap... The man in the elevator... the one that looked at me like he was gonna get sick.
"Well... Did you get the sunflower seed, Miss McAllister?" He asked softly, his dark eyebrows up.
I smiled without showing teeth and grabbed my purse as tight as I could.
"You have a very... wide-ranging résumé." He observed, frowning a little "From baker to bank teller, to... hairdresser assistant?"
"Ah like new experiences." I assured him, smiling broadly and then pressing my lips tight, 'cause I still might have some seeds in the gaps of my teeth, and I already made enough of a fool out of myself for one morning "Try new things and find what is my career."
He looked to me again and made a face that seemed disbelieved.
"Why von Hauser Publications?"
Ok, I'd prepared for this question perfectly!
Awright, ready? Set... and GO! Fly, pretty bird! Just fly!
"It's my lifelong dream to work for the magazine world. Ah do have the ambition of becoming a journalist myself, someday. And Ah know that the von Hauser Publications is the best in the business" I said, my back straight, my smile confident and polite, yet professional.
"According to the latest Forbes' magazine grading, we're actually number three" He said, with a frown as he kept reading my résumé.
I opened my mouth to contest, but closed it again. Ok... what now?
"Can't believe in everything we read, right?" I chuckled, and gasped as my nose did that disgusting pig noise.
He made that disgusted look again, and I winced.
"Miss McAllister, what is your expertise in the area? Keep in mind you're here for a fill as my secretary, not a journalist" He said, broad back in gray suit leaning towards his black leather chair, brown eyes scorching my face.
"Ah've been a Telemarketing assistant, as you can read in... there." I pointed to my file with a smile "And Ah've worked as a teller in many places. What else...? Oh, right! Ah've been a personal assistant to an advertising junior, a few months back."
"Do you know what the job of a secretary is?" He asked.
"Of course Ah do!" I said, brightly, holding up my hand, and counting with my fingers "Scheduling meetings and appointments, organizing your files, traveling arrangements; do research when you ask for it. Huh... take care of your calls and emails, and whatever else that might-"
"If I had an important meeting with an advertiser agency, say, in about three hours... And I was in a meeting till about half an hour before the next meeting... What would you do to prepare me for it? Keep in mind I would have to lunch" He said, crossing his legs and his fingers while waiting for my response.
"Well, awright. First, we would have to go to Prada, on Fifth, and get you a new suit. Ah'd say that gray is too dark for you. Since you have a tan skin – Ah'm guessing Italian ancestry -, a little lighter would be a great contrast. Hum... Navy blue tie, thin, would do wonders and show how proud you are of your own company. And Ah would bet on some black loafers instead of old business shoes, that's too old school. And lunch... Oh! There's a great Subway near the store, so you could have some lunch on the way in the car."
He stared at me, blinking like he was... confused. My smile started to fade as he kept silent.
"Not the right answer?" I mumbled, and when he grabbed his pen and started taking notes I stretched my neck "Did Ah... huh... passed to the next phase? What are you writing there?"
"There is no next phase, Miss McAllister" He assured me, closing my file.
"So... did Ah get the job?" I smiled, but less confident this time.
He only looked at me, a sour look on his face saying everything I needed to know.
"Right..." I sighed "Isn't there any other place that needs to be filled? Ah'm sorry! Ah didn't mean it... that way! Oh God! Now we're both thinking about dirty things! Shit! Oh, sorry! Oh, crap... Ah'll just... go...?" I moaned, while he kept staring at me with a shocked look and a frown.
"Please, Miss McAllister." He asked, the frown still in his tanned forehead "And close the door on your way out."
I left Julian von Hauser's office with a crushed spirit. I was never gonna get to be what I always dreamed: a fashion journalist. My life was doomed to always be a constant failure. And now, I'd have to meet my best friend and tell her I failed. Again. And, you know, the rent isn't paid in dreams...
***
I walked into Harmony's Café close to lunch time. I walked. Yep, I walked from downtown Manhattan up to her shop. It's about... ten blocks. Not that long... but when you're in heels it's torture. Still, I had to walk. I needed the fresh air and the sun on my skin...
"Here she is! Our new..." Harmony stopped, behind the counter, as she saw my face "still unemployed best roommate ever..."
"It sucked." I groaned "It was awful!"
She sighed and talked to her partner Theresa, the black girl who also sighed.
Harmony's coffee house is a very classy and very charming place. Just like her. It has dark hardwood floor, with round wooden tables and wooden chairs. The ceiling is a huge giant skylight, with big round lamps that looked really shiny and modern hanging here and there. There's some flower arrangements over the tables and in the charming dark wood counter on the top.
She serves the best coffee in whole New York. That and apple pie, my favorite. And that's what I got when I took a seat by the counter.
"Cheer up." Harmony said, while I ate my piece of pie "Think about it like this: if you want to be a fashion journalist, you should start in a magazine, not working to some corporate asshole!"
"Well, that corporate asshole is the owner of one of the greatest fashion magazines in the world." I moaned to my coffee "And Ah just made a complete foolish act!"
"Couldn't be that bad" She smiled, as she cleaned the dark marble counter.
I told her how the entire morning went, and she gasped, winced, and finally moaned.
"Ah feel so sorry for you, right now, that Ah want to hug you." She said, and I sighed "Tell you what: why don't we go out tonight? Just you and me."
I smiled at her. A time out with my best friend was the best thing in the world.
"Yeah... Let's go out!"
***
So we went to this awesome club, W, in the best part of town. It was a club where many famous people would come by and have some fun. And the place was packed. It was a nice bar with a dance floor and some nice sitting areas with lots of charm. We loved it there.
And, of course, we always looked great when we went out – courtesy of moi. Harmony was in a little red dress. Cute, fit blonde with sparkling blue eyes... Next to me, chubby size twelve. Actually, there was a time that bothered me. Not anymore. When you get close to your thirties you start thinking about your priorities. And my priority was a career. In journalism. And fashion!
I decided to wear a yellow dress, a little up the knee, with a short sleeve black laced top. Yep, yellow. Just 'cause your bigger, don't say no to color. They think I'm a plus size woman? Well, according to my own measurement, I'm curvy and fierce. Men like curvy woman, only dogs like bones, my momma always say.
I actually feel sexy, most of the days. Except when I'm on my pjs at home, with my hair a mess, glasses and my clay face mask on – we all feel disgusting like that, right? Other than that, for me, the five feet ten blonde curvy girl was hot and confident. And confidence is the sexiest thing in a person. Not cockiness, that's a whole different thing.
So why is this day important? No, I didn't hook up with some gorgeous arrogant bad boy – damn... -, and started a great and funny love story. Nope. This is the day I got a job! Yeah! I, Georgia McAllister, got a job! It all happened when we left the club. Yeah, we partied and drank and had a great time. Some guys hit on us, but this was a Girls' Night and we just flirted, nothing else. My momma would be very proud – she usually tells me to save myself for marriage, and with my high school sweetheart Gage would be her dream.
"Give me the watch too!"
Harmony and I looked around and saw three men on the other side of the almost empty dark street. One of them held what it looked like a gun.
"Holy cow!" I whispered at Harmony grabbing her hand and duking next to a parked car "It's a robbery!"
"No shit?!" She whispered back "Ah'm gonna call the cops!"
She grabbed her phone and started dialing 911.
"Drop your phones and kick them over here." The robber said, and the two man in suits obeyed "Now kneel and put your hands behind your head. Where are the keys to the car?"
There was some shuffling and cursing and then the distinct sound of keys.
"Don't move!" The guy screamed, and I saw, by the soft lights of the street and empty stores, that he was getting nervous; nervous people with guns are dangerous, or so I've heard "Shit! Don't look at me, you fucker!"
"Just go, man." One of the kneeled men said, looking up, and the gun was pointed directly at him "Just go. You've got the watches, the car..."
"Yeah, and you already saw my face, you fucking rich boy!" The mugger groaned, and wiped the sweat from his forehead "I'm sorry... Really, I'm truly sorry..."
Oh no! Was he gonna kill them?!
"What are you doing?!" Harmony whispered to me, as I took my black heels off and then my pantyhose "Georgia... What da hell are you-"
I heard her gasp, as I quickly stepped behind one car to the next. I really don't know what possessed me, but seeing someone get threatened right in front of me, and with a possibility of death involved, I just snapped – I could always regret it later, right?
"Don't do this..." One of the men said "You'll regret it."
I sneaked behind him, and when he stretched his arm to the two kneeled men, I grabbed the hems of my pantyhose and closed them around his arms and neck. He was immobilized, and there was a gunshot in the air. I screamed when we both landed on the hard, cold and dirty floor, but didn't let go. Actually, like I used to wrestle with my brother and cousins, I closed my thighs around his waist, and forced the pantyhose even tighter around his throat.
Harmony was crying and yelling as she called people from the clubs around outside. The two men on the floor got up and one of them took the gun from the robber. The other punched him on the face, and suddenly he was very still.
I only realized I was still screaming when Harmony and a man were trying to make me let the robber.
"G, G! Stop, it's alright! Stop screaming! Let him go!" I heard Harmony say, and slowly let go of the passed out man "That's it... It's ok."
She helped me get up, as did another man.
"I don't know how to thank you, Miss..."
"McAllister. Georgia McAll-" I looked up at him and gasped.
Wow... What a hottie! Wait! I know him!
"Oh my freaking God!" I gasped, and he chuckled, beautiful gorgeous flawless face with a dimple "Piet Rush! Holy cow! Harm, it's Piet Rush! You're Piet Rush."
Let me explain. Piet Rush was like the new hot boy in Hollywood. He was the new man women would swoon and sigh for. From great, romantic and beautiful romances, to awesome action movies, he nailed it all!
"Hi." He chuckled, gorgeous white smile on tanned face "Are you ok? My friend is calling an ambulance and the cops."
"Oh, Ah'm fine!" I assured him quickly, my hands everywhere, from my long hair to my sunny yellow dress, making sure I looked good; I saved the guy's life, I didn't need to look good, but still... "Ah believe you and your friend there are the ones who need help."
I pointed back, looking over my shoulder quickly, and watching his friend, back to us, talking on is phone.
"We're fine. No one got hurt. Except you." He frowned, looking at my broken fingernails and peeled skin over my knuckles and knees, his beautiful light blue eyes looked concerned "You need to go to a hospital."
"No, really, Ah'm fine" I smiled, and I had to remind myself that maybe if I did go to the hospital, he'll be around me for a while!
"The cops are on the way. Called an ambulance, but I think we better go ourselves to the..."
Piet Rush's friend stopped talking as he came to us, and I looked up. Holy shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit! Shut up! This wasn't happening!
"Mr. von Hauser!" I gasped, my eyes wide with shock "Ah didn't know it was you there!"
'Cause if I did, I would let him get shoot, and would only save Piet Rush.
"You know each other?" Piet Rush said.
I can't stop thinking that PIET RUSH is standing close to me and grabbing my hand!!!! OMG! OMG! O.M.G!!!!!!!!!!!
I could see Harmony was freaking out too, 'cause her eyes were like thiiiiis big staring at our mingled hands.
"Miss McAllister went on a job interview, earlier this morning." The tall brunette man in the same grey suit said, one of his dark eyebrows up "That was quite a show."
"Which one? The interview or the saving your ass scene?" I hit back, and Piet Rush laughed.
He laughed over something I said! I giggled like a teen, couldn't help it! C'mon, a Hollywood hot boy was just standing next to me and looking down like I was a very special person... Sighs...
"Either way, you should go to a hospital." Julian von Hauser said, looking up and down my disgraceful self and making a sneer "You're in shock now, but when the adrenaline rush" Ah, Rush..., I thought to myself "goes up, you'll feel the bruises."
Ok, he was right. Maybe I should go to the hospital... and stand by Piet Rush for a little while longer!
***
"You're more than fine, Miss McAllister."
I looked up to the ER doctor and smiled.
"Like Ah said." I repeated to my best friend and the two men I, in the end, saved "Ah'm fine."
"Yes, but you were lucky." Harmony said, her arms coming around me "You could have gotten yourself killed! Then how was Ah gonna pay for the rent alone?!"
"Not helping you much alive either, remember?" I chuckled, and she kissed my cheek.
"True. But who else would give me fashion advices and make me hot chocolate with caramel popcorn at three am?" She moaned, and I smiled "Don't ever do anything that stupid again!"
"Kinda hard to do. Ah usually only think about the consequences after they happen, remember?" I giggled, and she smiled a little.
"I don't know how to thank you, Miss McAllister." Piet Rush said, his gorgeous tanned face was so soft and sincere, like his latest character in a romantic comedy I had just seen a couple of days before "We owe you our lives."
"Please, it was nothing. Ah'm just glad no one died today" I smiled, and he grabbed my hand to place a soft kiss over my scrapped knuckles.
Wow...! Oh my GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! I was so dead! I bet I was dead, bleeding on the street after the mugger shoot me, 'cause this was Heaven!
"Would you give me and Miss McAllister a few moments alone, please?" Julian von Hauser asked his friend and Harmony.
Harm smiled at me and squeezed my shoulder, as she and the hot movie star stepped a few feet away in the crowded ER.
"I would take this opportunity to thank you personally for your bravery" He said, his shoulders straight and his brown eyes all but professional.
"Like Ah said, it was nothing." I shrugged, letting my legs swing, while I was still sitting in the ER bed "Just glad everyone made it alive."
"Yes, I understand that. Still, as my friend pointed out, we do owe you. A lot." He said, tilting his head, and then sighing "You start Monday morning. Be at my office at eight am. Sharp. I hate when people get late, and I don't tolerate it. I work out in the morning, so I don't have time to have breakfast. I eat a whole-grain roll, soy latte, a bowl of low fat yogurt with some red fruit, a hardboiled egg, and a cup of nuts. And I usually read the New York Times, the New York Post and the Wall Street Journal during breakfast, so you better remember to get them."
I gasped and my eyes and mouth were wide open.
"Don't make me regret this." He said, with a sour look "And get well soon."
"HARMONY!" I screamed and waved my arm, so she would look at me from the other side of the crowded, and now all staring at me, ER "Ah got a damned job!"
"I'm gonna regret this..." Julian von Hauser muttered under his breath, turning around and leaving.
This was IT!
Careful world! Georgia McAllister was coming! And she had pointy stilettos that would walk all over each and every one of those who always turned me down!