I stood in the airport waiting for my bags as I thought. 6 months had flown and it was now nearing Christmas. When I had first gotten back to Florida after being on tour I scrounged for money to get my own place. I sold all the jewelry my father had ever bought me to pay for an apartment, went back to work at the music store and got another job to pay for everything. When the end of the summer came I had saved enough to quit my second job and I started college again. I kept in touch with all the guys and Jack occasionally visited me whenever he could. Sometimes I would drive down and see Travis or Travis would drive up to see me. I loved being able to talk to them and see where they were or what they were doing. Alex though, we hadn't talked since I had left.
It had been difficult at first, missing Alex but now I was used to the nagging empty feeling. The only thing that kept me from running back to him was the reminder that he had chosen this for a reason and if he really wanted me he would tell me so. I was currently on Christmas break for a month and I had come to spend it in Baltimore after Jack had absolutely begged me for months. So here I was, lugging my bags through Baltimore's airport looking for the tall black haired man that was supposed to be picking me up. He spotted me before I spotted him and I turned quickly at the sound of my name. Jack Barakat was walking quickly through the crowd towards me and I broke into a smile. I hadn't seen him since his fall tour had stopped in Florida and he had showed up at my apartment and begged me to go to the show. I had refused, saying I had to study for finals when in reality I just couldn't bear to see Alex.
"Leah!" Jack shouted wrapping his arms around my waist. "Jack! I missed you." I said hugging him tightly. Jack stepped back after a moment and fixed his red hat that was falling off of his head. "Is that all you have on? Are you crazy? It's December in Baltimore." he scolded as he took my bags and began walking through the airport. I followed beside him and looked down at my outfit. Dark blue jeans that were tucked into Uggs, a long sleeved Hollister shirt and a Hollister hoodie over it. "This won't be fine?" I asked as we neared the doors. Then I saw why he thought I was crazy, there was a thick layer of snow on the ground and it was still coming down with no sign of slowing. "Uh, I definitely don't miss this." I said pulling up my hood. "It's pretty." Jack tried to convince me as we half walked half jogged to his car. "Pretty? You know what's pretty? Clear water and white sand." I said and Jack shook his head. "You've been away for too long." he insisted and I laughed as I pulled on my seatbelt.
Surprisingly Jack got me to his house in one piece. We quickly got all of my stuff inside and I took in the sweet smell of cookies baking. "I can't believe you still live with your mom." I teased as I shrugged off the wet shoes and sweatshirt. "I can't believe you thought a hoodie would keep you warm." Jack said shaking his head and then he took my hand. He led me into the kitchen and came up behind the woman cooking. "Mommy, I'm home." Jack said in a baby voice and I giggled. Joyce Barakat, who was like my own mother growing up turned and I noticed she hadn't changed much. "Leah!" she exclaimed and pushed past Jack who looked shocked to get to me. "Why that was just downright rude!" Jack said in a girlish voice and I laughed as his mother wrapped his arms around me.
"It's been so long!" she exclaimed and I nodded, tears coming to my eyes. I hadn't realized how much I actually missed home, because that's what this was. Baltimore was more home to me than Florida could ever be. Once we broke apart I wiped at my tears and I looked around for Jack who was being unusually quiet. Jack was over in the corner, his mouth full of cookie and he was reaching for another one. "Jack Bassam, stay away from those cookies." Mrs. Barakat scolded as she smacked his hands away. "Why don't you two bundle up and go for a walk?" she suggested and I remember her suggesting the same thing when we were 12 years old. Jack and I had been under her feet all day while she got everything ready for Christmas and then finally she had bundled us up and pushed us outside. We had played in the snow until Mrs. Barakat had to send Joe, Jack's older brother to retrieve us from the snow fort we had built.
"Smarty pants here didn't pack a jacket so we can't." Jack told his mom. "May has an old one in the closet that will fit her." his mother replied without even looking up from her baking. I laughed and jumped off of the stool I had climbed on and grabbed Jack's hand. "Come on." I said and pulled him along to the hall closet. I searched through it until I found an old black puffed jacket and pulled it on. "You need gloves and a hat too, it's cold." Jack said running upstairs and leaving me downstairs alone. I looked over at the pictures that covered the walls and laughed at the pictures of Jack looking absolutely adorable. A couple minutes later Jack came from down the stairs and shoved a hat roughly onto my head. "Ow butthead." I said as I took the gloves from him and put them on. "You ready?" Jack asked after he had his own jacket on and buttoned up. "Yup." I said and we slipped outside into the cold.
*Alex's POV*
"I'm bored Baz." I said rubbing behind Sebastian, my Papillion dog's ears. Baz didn't say anything, just leaned into my hand and I sighed before gently picking him up and placing him on the bed. We had been home for about 2 weeks and I was already dying of boredom. I hated not having something to keep my mind busy. Whenever I was alone and had nothing to occupy my time my mind flew through the past 6 months. The first couple weeks I had tried to drink every single last thought of Leah away but it got old quickly. The guys finally convinced me to stop and I sobered up a bit more.
I still missed her though; I knew Jack visited her from time to time. I always begged him to come over once he got back and tell me how she was doing. In reality I wanted her back but I was afraid she wouldn't want me back. There was also the fact that she was back in college and I was heading to the UK for a 2 month tour in January. I sighed as I thought about her and decided to stop wallowing in self-pity. I had let Leah go; I had no one to blame but myself. I climbed out of bed and padded quietly out of my room and down the hallway. I turned into Rian's room and threw myself across his bed. "Do you need to do this?" he groaned as my feet rested on his back.
"Yes, I'm bored." I said and Rian pushed my feet off of him. "Go play a video game." he instructed and I made a whining noise. "But I played them all." I cried. "Really Alex? You have so much stuff, go do something. I'm gonna take a nap." Rian said sounding very much like an annoyed parent. "But Rian everything is boring." I whined and he moaned. "Go like call Jack or something." Rian said sleepily and I mumbled "Whatever." as I climbed over him and out of his room, shutting the door loudly behind me. I dragged my feet down the hallway and searched for my phone so I could call Jack. Hopefully he wasn't busy and I could go over there or he could come over here and we could play some games. Once I found my cell phone under Peyton, my other dog, I called him. The phone rang for a couple minutes and then went to voicemail. I groaned as I waited for the beep, Jack had an obnoxiously long voicemail.
"Hey dude, it's Alex. Call me back." I said before hanging up and falling back onto the bed. I wondered what Jack must be doing that he wouldn't answer the phone. I climbed to my feet after staring at the ceiling for a while and walked down to the kitchen. I rummaged through the fridge hoping to find something to eat but when I found nothing I growled. "Rian! We have no food left!" I shouted up the stairs but he didn't respond. "Guess I'll just have to go get some food." I said climbing back upstairs to change. Once I was dressed I walked down the stairs, grabbed my jacket that was by the door and slipped it on. I headed out of the door and unlocked my car. I searched around for the snow scraper in the backseat until I found it.
I heated up the car while I cleaned off of the snow and when I finally got all of it off I climbed into the car. I blew my hot breath into my cold hands before backing out of the driveway. When I finally got to the grocery store I pulled on my beanie and a pair of sunglasses, hoping no one would recognize me. I wasn't really in the mood to deal with anyone today, especially squealing girls. I walked quickly into the warm store, grabbed a shopping cart and started going down the aisles. My mind wandered to the Christmas party Rian and I would be having in a few days on Christmas Eve. We had invited a whole bunch of people and I hoped they would all show up.
*Leah's POV*
"Jack Barakat you jerk!" I shouted trying in vain to climb out of the snow drift he had thrown me into. Jack who was watching me just laughed hysterically off to the side. "I'm gonna kill you in your sleep if you don't help me out!" I screamed as snow went down my pants and up my shirt. "Fine, I'm coming." Jack said trying to catch his breath as he held out a hand for me to grab. Once I had a good grip on him, he pulled me out. "That wasn't funny Jack." I said wiggling to get the snow out of my shirt. "It was funny Leah." Jack said now laughing at my silly dance. "I'm wet." I whined and Jack stopped laughing. "Sexy." he said winking at me and I pushed him roughly into the snow. "You're evil!" Jack shouted as he climbed to his feet. "You started it." I told him while sticking my tongue out and holding out a hand for him. "Doesn't mean you had to push me." Jack said taking the hand I had offered him and we began walking back to the house.
"Remember when we buried Rian in the snow drift?" I asked chuckling as I remembered the day well. It was halfway through freshman year and we had become good friends with Rian, Zack and the guys had become good friends with Alex. Jack invited them all over to his house and it had begun snowing. We begged Rian to go outside and play with the snow with us and after a complete of hour of begging he agreed. When we got outside though all Rian wanted to do was sit and watch us play. We weren't having that though and quickly organized a way to get him to join in. Zack and Alex grabbed him, threw him into a snow drift and Jack and I quickly dumped buckets of snow on him.
While Rian spluttered and tried to climb out of the snow drift we ran into the house and locked all of the doors before he could get us. Safe to say Rian was pissed and later on that night he got all of us back. "Yeah, I remember that. I wish you never moved." Jack said softly and I nodded. "Me either but all that matters is we're still friends." I said and Jack shrugged. "You should move out here when you graduate, please?" he begged as we walked and I laughed. "No Jack, there is no point anyways. You guys are constantly touring." I explained and Jack stopped. "That doesn't matter, Leah please? Give me a really good reason." Jack said putting his hands on either side of my shoulders.
"Jack, come on. I gave you a good reason." I said but he shook his head. "That isn't a good reason." Jack insisted and I whined as the cold snow melted in my clothes leaving me damp and cold. "I can't afford it." I said but Jack shook his head. "We can get a place together and split the rent, try again." Jack told me and I ran my fingers through my hair. Not wanting to be close to Alex was a good reason in my book but I knew Jack would shoot it down. "I have a job in Florida, not here." I said and Jack shook his head. "There are places you could get a job at here, just face it Lee, you don't have a good reason. Just move here already, please?" he begged slinging his arm over my shoulder. We started walking again and I sighed. "Jack, I need to think about it. This is a big change." I said and he leaned his head onto mine.
"Whatever you say I guess." he said and we walked the rest of the way in silence. When we reached his house I quickly went upstairs into Jack's room that had pretty much stayed the same since the last time I was in here. I changed quickly into yoga pants and a white cami before pulling my Florida State hoodie over my head. Once I was dressed I walked down the stairs and found Jack lounging on the couch watching TV. "This is giving me some crazy flashbacks dude." I said as I picked up Jack's head so I could sit down. "Really? Like what Lee?" he asked and I told him everything that had come to my mind when I saw Jack lying on the couch. "I miss skunk hair." I said running my fingers through his hair
"A lot of people do, I like this new hair though." he said as he went through the channels. "I like it too; I just mean I remember you the most with skunk hair. When I used to wonder how you were doing I always wondered if you kept the skunk hair." I said and Jack smiled up at me. "When I used to wonder about you I always wondered if you kept this thing." Jack said grabbing my wrist and looking at the beat up old bracelet. "Of course I did, Chase wanted me to get rid of it but I refused." I told him and Jack's nose scrunched at the name. "I'm glad you and that douche broke up." Jack said and I nodded. I was glad we had broken up to; it had given me the courage to be with Alex.
I tried to shake the thought of Alex out of my head but I just couldn't. This place held far too many memories of him, hell there was even a picture of him and Jack on the mantle. "Wanna watch a movie?" Jack asked and I nodded. "Go pick one out then." Jack instructed and I stood up once he lifted his head off of my lap. I went over to the movies and started riffling through them. "This." I said holding up Lilo and Stitch and Jack started laughing. "What?" I asked as he held his stomach because he was laughing so hard. "Jack." I said putting a hand on my hip. "You don't remember? You drove us crazy with that movie." he said and I remembered vaguely being obsessed with the movie and picking this every time I had a choice. "It's not that funny." I said popping it into the DVD player and sitting back down in my seat.
The next couple days went quickly, Jack and me exploring all of the places we had hung out at as teenagers. "Leah, please?" Jack begged holding up the little black dress. "No Jack, I am not going." I said stubbornly. "Oh come on, please? I don't want to leave you here." Jack pleaded but I shook my head. I refused to go to a Christmas Eve party at Rian and Alex's house, especially since I was hoping to go this entire vacation without seeing Alex. "Come on, all of the guys will be there and you'll have fun." Jack wheedled but I just crossed my arms over my chest. "If this is about Alex then forget him, you don't even need to talk to him." Jack suggested and gave me the best pout he could muster.
"Oh fine!" I snapped as I snatched the dress from him and went into the bathroom. "You won't regret this! I promise!" he shouted at me through the door. I showered and dressed quickly and before I knew it was standing by the front door with Jack who was dressed in black ironed skinny jeans, a gray buttoned down shirt and a black leather jacket with his red hat. "You looked gorgeous Lee." he said as he helped me into May's old jacket. "Whatever you say Jack." I said as I zipped up the jacket and pulled down the dress. "I look like a slut." I whispered as we walked out of the house and Jack laughed hysterically. "You don't look like a slut." he insisted as we climbed into the car he had warmed up a couple minutes ago.
*Alex's POV*
I picked a chip from a bowl and walked into the living room as I shoved it into my mouth. "What's up Zack?" I asked as I went over to the stereo and turned it up. There were a bunch of other people but I didn't really care as I poured myself another drink. "Alex! Go find Baz, he's running around and someone is gonna trip over him." Rian shouted from the other side of the room and I groaned. I thought I had put Baz in my room with Peyton. I looked around the living room and when I didn't find him I wandered into the kitchen. I looked down and saw a pale red head patting Sebastian. A red head I would know anywhere, "Well aren't you handsome." she cooed to him obviously not aware of me. "Uh, his name is Sebastian, Baz for short." I said and Leah jumped.
"Uh, uh, hi Alex." she stuttered as she stood up and pulled her dress down. I looked her up and down. She had a short black strapless dress on that hugged her curves and pushed her breasts up. "Hi Leah." I said softly studying her face. It was exactly how I remembered it, the blue-green eyes wide and the red curls falling around her face. "Uh, how have you been?" she asked nervously as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Good, you?" I questioned and she smiled. "Good, thank you for asking." she said softly and I nodded. "Do you want a drink?" I asked gesturing to the bottles that covered the island. "Please?" she said softly while climbing onto the stool in front of it.
I smiled at her for a moment and then focused on the drink I was mixing for her. It was weird seeing her in my house after not seeing her in months. "So, how is college going?" I asked after the silence started to get to me. "Good, really good. How is the band going?" she replied and I started to tell her about tour. I left out how much I missed her being on tour with me, how much I missed her smell, her kisses, her smiles, and just everything else about her. "Well, thanks for the drink Alex." she said taking the cup from me and I watched her leave the room. I wanted to yell stop or say her name but I couldn't get any words out.
Once she was gone I sat down on a stool and looked down at Baz who had settled at my feet. "What do I do Baz? I love her but I don't know what to say. I really messed shit up." I said leaning my head on my arm. "Talk to her." a squeaky voice said and I looked down at Baz, instantly alarmed. Dogs couldn't talk, right? I was silently freaking out when I heard a laugh and I turned around to see Jack standing in the doorway. "Oh my god Alex, you really believed that?" he asked and I scowled. "No." I said pouting and laying my head down on my arms. "Oh you did, admit it!" Jack said patting me on the back and I frowned. "Really dude, that wasn't funny." I said and Jack sighed.
He pulled out a stool and sat beside me. "I was serious dude, go talk to her. I know she misses you as much as you miss her." he said and I sighed. "What if she doesn't want to listen to me? It's not like we can be together anyways, she has to go back to Florida soon and then we're leaving for the Europe tour." I said and Jack shrugged. "So what? You guys love each other and no distance or time will ever affect that." Jack said before jumping off of the stool and walking out of the kitchen. "For someone who can be so stupid he sure as hell can give some great advice." I said climbing off of the stool and scooping Baz up.
I brought him up the stairs and put him in my room with Peyton before shutting the door so neither of them could get out. As I walked down the stairs I thought about what to say to Leah. Once I got downstairs I scanned the room for her and I spotted her by the tree talking to Rian. I wrung my hands together nervously as I watched her and decided that I needed another drink before I could go over to her. Once I finished pouring myself a nice big cup of some mixture I walked back into the living room but this time Leah was nowhere to be found. I have shit ass luck I thought as I looked around again hoping I hadn't missed her. When again I didn't see her I groaned and threw myself onto my couch and to my surprise there she was. "Uh, hey Leah." I said looking over at her and she smiled. "Hi Alex." she said softly and we talked for a little while.
The whole time we talked I tried to figure out how to get her alone so we could talk but everything that I thought of was a horrible idea. I was taking another giant gulp from my drink when Leah reached her hand across the couch and placing it on my knee. "Can I talk to you? Alone?" she asked and I nodded quickly. I stood up quickly and tried to keep my head from spinning. "Uh, is there somewhere we can go?" she asked and I nodded quickly. I was so stupid; she had never been here, of course she wouldn't know any places where we could talk alone. I grabbed her hand and led her upstairs to my room, hoping that I would be able to tell her everything I wanted to and not sound like an idiot.