I washed myself under scalding water, trying to see what I was doing through my vision that was blurred by an attack of tears. I was washing his scent off me completely; he'd been so close you could smell him for hours. Hot water and coconut soap, I found, did the trick.
Werewolves love to touch.
They didn't have to actually have sex with you for them to feel satisfied. Touch was mostly enough and for wolves with mates it had to be. A lot of wolves stayed pure for their mates – it's how it is done, in most packs its law. In most packs you could be exiled or even killed for losing your purity to one who wasn't your mate. This law saved me many times from Zac and Jonah getting too out of hand with me.
I shut off the shower and wrung out my hair before rubbing my face with my wash cloth and quickly wrapping myself up in a towel. The steam fogged up the bathroom and I knew I'd be hearing about it later from Michael that I either had to open or window or not shower at all.
I liked the steam – I could barely see myself. I avoided looking in mirrors. I didn't need to validate myself further that I looked nothing like my mother or my half siblings.
Pulling on some leggings and a gray cotton shirt I wrapped my hair and collected my things, sniffing slightly as I pulled open the door. Padding across the hall to my room I watched as my hot feet left marks on the hardwood floor.
I threw my dirty clothes in the hamper of my room and was relieved I no longer smelt like the toilet or Zac anymore.
"Dinner!" Mom called up the stairs.
Great, I thought with disappointment.
Dinner isn't fun. Not for me anyway. Jada and Laurance, my half siblings, were always questioned by Michael about their day and in turn they'd question him. Whenever mom asked me about mine I'd utter out a 'fine' as Michael glared over his food.
Seventeen years of dinners that I never felt comfortable enough to eat.
I heard Jada leave her room and another set of feet followed her and I closed my eyes in frustration as I realized the Alpha's daughter, Fiona, who is also Jada's best friend, would be here for dinner.
Sullenly I made my way downstairs and into the living room, admiring the finely dressed table that my mother would have worked on for a while, along with the roast she set in the middle of it.
"Evelyn sweetheart, I didn't see you come in," she exclaimed as she pulled me into a hug.
"I just needed a shower," I said quietly. She looked at me with a crease in between her brows and I thought up a lie. "I spilt paint on myself in art class, I smelt terrible all day."
She let out a laugh, "Oh dear. I'm afraid you get the clumsiness from me."
"I'm not clumsy," Jada said snootily – as does any fifteen year old bratty pre-wolf.
"Of course," mom said absently as she placed the last set of glasses on the table.
"Fiona," I murmured as I respectfully bowed my head. She lifted her nose up in the air, like I was a piece of mud on her shoe. I ignored the look; I was so used to being looked at like that, that I didn't even care anymore. Besides, conversation was off me and that's how I liked to keep it, I hated trying to lie to mom. A werewolf can smell a lie so if you're going to tell a cover story you're going to want to truly believe it yourself.
Taking a seat at the table, across from Laurance who was reading a medical book I awaited the impending arrival of Michael. The worst part of the day. The front door opened and shut and I held onto my seat as his footsteps thumped on the floor and came in our direction.
"Michael!" My mother cried happily as she wrapped her arms around him. I watched – as I always do – as the meanest person I had ever met acted so tenderly toward her, like she was a precious gem that could be snatched easily.
That's what mates were like. They were after all, designed for one another, and linked in body and soul. There was no higher level of devotion among our kind. Their kind. Vampires disputed however, saying their connections ran far deeper after centuries of learning what it meant to love.
Sometimes I was saddened by the fact I'd never have a mate. Then I remembered the last thing I wanted in life was to be trapped in this community.
"I have some interesting news, which I'm sure Fiona; you have already been informed of." Michael sat at the head of the table, nudging Laurance's arm as Fiona nodded knowingly. Laurance set down his book, irritation dancing across his face.
"What is it?" Mom asked curiously.
"How come you didn't tell me first?" Jada demanded looking betrayed.
"Strict orders not to," Fiona said smugly.
"Well what is it?" Laurance huffed; he looked at me briefly before turning his attention to Michael.
"The Alpha of Wolfsbane is hosting the Allied Gathering this year," he started but was interrupted by squeals from Jada. I didn't get what was so great about it. "Because we are only freshly allied it is a surprise we got an invite, we haven't even signed the treaty yet, but apparently, they want to do it in front of the other allied packs."
"Wow," Laurance muttered actually sounding surprised.
"This does wonders for our pack. We've never been up there with Oregon or Alaska or Michigan, but here we are. We're signing an alliance with Wolfsbane, Oregon!" Michael was beaming with pride as he took in the reactions around the table.
Everyone was clapping and I was unsure of what to do. I pat my hands together awkwardly as I looked around the table.
"Also," Fiona started. "The Alpha's son has just turned eighteen which means he is eligible to find his mate. Which means, we may be allied by – a mating!"
Jada began squealing again and I inwardly rolled my eyes. A party turns into a marriage preparation.
"Both the Alpha and Beta family has been requested to go. So Gamma Stevens will be running things while we are away." Michael literally looked like he won the lottery. I guess it was a big deal for them; I didn't quite get the excitement though.
"Well, wow," mom said breathlessly. "This is amazing. When is it?"
"This Saturday," he announced grandly. "I have never been a more proud Beta."
"We need to get new outfits for it! Wolfsbane throws the most amazing parties, did you get the last newsletter, all those photos, the gowns!" Jada was going crazy, along with Fiona who was bouncing in her seat and no doubt imaging herself as the Alpha's sons mate.
"I agree. School is off tomorrow, we are going shopping!" Mom declared. "Evelyn we need to get your measurements taken again, you seem to have dropped some weight I think."
At this the table silenced and turned to look at me and I was surprised.
"I'm going?" I questioned nervously, not sure I had heard correctly.
"Well you are a part of the Beta family sweetheart." Mom began serving plates and I could feel Jada's rage from across the table. Fiona was practically frothing at the mouth.
The only thing I could think of as a large serving of beans were put on my plate, was the fact I'd be in a room with four other Alpha and Beta families.
And I'd be the only half-blood there.
∞
"Okay, this is the one. Look how it flows down my back, and I like the open straps..." I could hear Jada outside the dressing room as she tried on her seventh dress that she also thought was the one. Shopping with her was a nightmare. Then again I'm sure having me here was her worst nightmare too.
"Evelyn darling, how is it going in there?" Mom called.
"F-fine!" I called out as I pulled up the zip on the side. It was a gorgeous dress, but it would need tailoring to fit my smaller frame.
It was a sleeveless lace that ran up over my collarbone before it fanned down my body in gentle red waves. The back was open as the dress stopped at my neck and dipped in an oval shape down my back.
Blinking I ran my hand through my chocolate brown hair and pulled away the shirt I had put over the mirror, opening the curtain and stepping out to face my blonde mother and half-sister.
"Oh Evelyn, you look beautiful. It needs some tightening, about here...and here..." she pinched at the bits of fabric as she pinned with the seamstress as I heard Jada in the dressing room, trying on another dress.
She pulled back her curtain roughly, and stepped out in a strapless blue gown that had sequins around the breast area. I watched as her green eyes raked over my form with a scowl, "Goddess, Evelyn, eat much?"
I bit the inside of my mouth as mom looked up from the dress and gave her a warning look.
I had lost weight lately and Jada knew why. Everyone knew why, they just couldn't say anything about it. Jonah had given me an Alpha command to starve myself for a week. An Alpha command was all mental, if you wore the pack mark you were forced to follow whatever order had been given to you. I didn't wear the mark and his command didn't technically force me, however I knew if he caught me eating I'd be beaten. My mother could never say anything, questioning an Alpha command could get you into a deep pile of trouble.
Coming back to reality I looked at the dress Jada wore, it looked too tight for her thicker form, she trained hard but she had caught the pudgy gene from mom. The dress almost looked too tight and I imagined her looking like the purple girl from Willy Wonka as she expanded. Maybe she would feel as awkward as she made me feel.
"What the hell!" She wheezed slightly as she clutched at the dress, screeching as the zipper dug into her back as the dress seemed to shrink on her.
My eyes widened in horror as I leapt to help her, only to have her claws extended as she swiped my hand away. She clawed the dress off her body savagely and I was relieved – for the sake of humankind – we were in a werewolf owned store.
"Jada!" Mom scolded. "What in the name of the Moon Goddess was that?"
"The dress – it was too tight, it got tighter and tighter..." Jada looked at mom with wide eyes, panting.
"You were shifting!" Mom snapped, "Your body expanded. Jada if you cannot learn to control your wolf you'll need to do more training."
I breathed a sigh of relief as she scolded her. I didn't do that. She was shifting out of anger of me being here. What I thought did not actually happen. It didn't, I assured myself.
"Oh Evelyn, your hand!" Mom exclaimed as she quickly pulled a rag from Jada's shredded dress over it.
"I'm fine, I can barely feel it," I lied as the stinging sensation got worse.
"That looks deep; we need to get back to the pack doctor. I'm so sorry Cynthia; we'll pay for the dress, and we'll buy the one Evelyn is wearing, but we'll have to come back for alterations."
"It's fine Maria; I remember what it's like to be a young wolf. I shifted over everything. I'll see you when you come back; hopefully we'll have better luck finding Jada a dress."
The ride home was silent, Jada was fuming and I was worried she'd shift in the car. I stayed quiet – as always – and eventually found myself at the pack clinic having my hand inspected by a training Doctor named Tom.
"It's kind of fun," he said smiling as mom filled out the paper work outside. I looked at him nervously, surprised he was even talking to me. "Everyone heals so quickly sometimes I think it's useless us being here. I mean, I get to actually stitch you up – this doesn't happen for me."
I tried to smile but I think it looked like a grimace.
"I feel like I hear about you all the time," he said, "I mean people are constantly talking about you and when...well..."
"When the Alpha removes me?" I said quietly.
"Yeah. Everyone's so surprised it's taken this long."
"I'm surprised you're stitching me up."
"Contrary to popular belief, not everyone in this pack hates you. I mean okay, the majority does, but I just think you got given a life you didn't ask for. Make something of yourself okay? When you get booted out, it's probably going to be the best thing that ever happens to you."
I couldn't agree with him more.
∞
"Stop it!" I screamed as I pounded on the hardwood door in front of me, blinded by the blackness of the small storage closet. "Let me out! Let me out! P-Please let me out!" My breaths came out in frantic puffs as my heart catapulted in my chest.
Laughter was heard on the other side of the door before flame was sprayed under it via a lighter and aerosol can.
With a yelp I jumped into the air, stumbling into the shelving and hitting the back of my head on something sharp. I was completely trapped as they kept spraying the flame under the door and I could feel a stickiness coming out from the back of my head.
"Ooh! I smell blood," Heather taunted in a song-song tone.
"She hurts herself," someone else commented. "We don't even have to touch her."
"Maybe we should let her out." Was Jackie Morris actually feeling compassionate?
There was silence outside the door and I licked my dry lips as I tried to catch my breath. When I felt a crack of light over my eye I jumped at the door, only to be shoved back in and land in a heap on the floor as darkness once again surrounded me.
"Nah, not yet."
I couldn't stop the onslaught of tears as my jean leg got singed before I heard the door lock and they sauntered off. I didn't have the strength to bust down the door nor did I have the energy.
Small spaces and the dark equally made me freeze up. I was terrified of them, mainly because when I was younger; Jonah falsely led me to believe we were friends and ended up pushing me into a suitcase, padlocking it and dumping it in the woods. I was stuck in there all day until someone finally came and rescued me.
He didn't even get in trouble when I was found.
I couldn't make out anything around me, the room was pure darkness but I could feel the shelving, I could feel myself sitting in between two box like objects. Hearing shuffling within the shelves I cringed and shut my eyes tighter, sniffing loudly and clutching at my jeans like it was a lifeline.
I heard the sirens signalling the end of the day and I knew it would be around four in the afternoon before the janitor came in here.
When the door finally opened my eyes stung and I peeled them open. Looking up I saw the janitor he had a confused expression on his face as he held out his hand, lifting me up and pulling me into the hallway.
On shaking limbs I thanked him and slowly left the school building, surprised to see mom's car pulling into the parking lot. I limped toward it, my legs having been cramped for three hours, and pulled open the door sliding in.
"Evelyn! What happened? Why do I smell blood?" Her fingers touched the tender spot on the back of my head and I winced.
"It doesn't matter," I said, defeated. It would never matter because every day until I get out of this place would be the same.
"It does matter Evelyn!"
"No it doesn't, because nothing can be done about it. So, let's make our weekly trip to the pack clinic, stitch me up and count the new scar I've obtained while I prepare for a life as far away from here as p-possible," my voice cracked and I gained a hold of my emotions.
My mother stared at me for a moment, her mouth gaping before putting the car into gear, squealing the tyres on the road and flooring it out of the school.
∞
Lying in bed that night and feeling the safest I felt all day my thoughts drifted to the trip to Oregon tomorrow. The house had been buzzing with so much excitement that the extra abuse I had received at school throughout the week had gone unnoticed by mom, until when I hadn't arrived home on time today.
Sometimes I blamed her.
She could have gotten rid of me – heck enough people encouraged her to do so, she would have known the life I was going to have if she brought me up in this pack, a pure-blood loving pack. I thought she was selfish.
But she was also just a young teenager when she'd had me, and she had gone through so much maybe she wanted to have the control back in her hands and decide what happened to her body.
I guess I'll never fully comprehend what she went through but I knew what it was like to have your choices torn from you, to have things happen to you beyond your control.
Iwas never going to understand anything here, I knew that. I just longed for theday when I'd finally be free.
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