Saying that I missed this is an understatement. I have craved for this.
I feel sadness but is a kind of sadness which is full of happiness.
I don't know what to do once the hug is over. Do I just act normal as if nothing happened? I can't ignore the past as much as I would love to. We can't change the past unfortunately. How can I live with all of what has happened?
I didn't want the hug to end. It felt comfortable. It felt like home and family. And that is all I wanted to feel at the moment. I want all the bad things to just go away. To be in peace. But there is no peace in this world.
I feel my dad's hands rubbing my back in a circular motion. All I want to do is to hug him forever to know that he is right beside me.
Eventually he started to separate himself from the hug. I tried to avoid it but it had to eventually stop at some point.
I looked straight at him, I can see he is trying to hide the hurt in his eyes but it is obvious is there. All this time that has passed the only thing that I have achieved is to hurt him even more. I never wanted to hurt him, why would I?
He is the most important person for me, and I would do anything for him to be safe.
Neither of us said a word for what seemed like minute. Neither of us knew how to start a conversation.
'Stiles...'
The sheriff was obviously struggling at the moment. He had to be brave in front of the people but it was obvious that the old man was very sensible when it came to his family, or what was left of it.
'Yeah...it's me.'
There is so much that I want to tell him, what has happened, I'm not human. But how do you even start that conversation? Hi dad so... I was changed... that just sounds weird.
'How... where... when... ? What happened...?'The hurt he was transmitting is too much for me that before I knew it, I was hugging him again. my head resting on his shoulder, practically sobbing my heart out.
Even though Scott is my best friend I couldn't break down in front of him. Because I knew that I needed to talk about this things first with my dad. All because of this constant thought in the back of my mind, what if he doesn't love me anymore because I am not the same Stiles as before? I mean I put enough stress on him already and now I probably almost killed him just by dissapearing. I ignored him all this time when all he wants is the best for me. What kind of son am I?
Not a good one apparently.
I am practically crying by this point.
All I wanted was to take away all the danger from all of them. Because the danger is me. And it hurt them so much. What am I supposed to do?
'Stiles.'He keeps repeating my name hoping for some sort of explanation. I have to tell him everything, I know that. But how will he react? I just appeared at the house out of nowhere and I am about to tell him that I am one of those. I am changed.
'Before you say anything, there is something I need to tell you. It's important and it 's better if you are sitting down...'I slowly said while making us enter the house so we weren't standing in the door anymore.
Entering the house felt weird. Seeing the kitchen and the living room felt like a dream. I've missed this house. It has so many memories. Good and bad, but the thing is. it reminds me of my childhood. Those sundays I spent with my mum and dad. I felt tears trying to escape but I contain myself from crying even more than before. I need to be strong at this moment, more strong than I ever been before. This is a sensitive topic.
I walked first into the living room, hearing my dad's footsteps behind me.
I sit in the nearest sofa to the door. No main reason just preventing any worse scenario.
He sits beside me, concern written on his face. He looks at me while I can't look directly at him or else I will break down. I can feel it but I can't let it happen.
'Stiles, what is it?'He keep encouraging me to talk but is harder than I thought. I turn to him, looking his way but not directly at him.
'I don't want to get into any details, because I don't want you asking questions, at least not now. I will tell you the whole story at some point but it's just that now, I don't feel like doing so. It's too much for me at the moment.'
'Ok...I'm fine with that.'He said more calmly than me. How can he be so calm at the moment? I can feel the high tension in the air, my hands are sweating, I need something to hold onto.
I look to my side to find a pillow. I grab it and practically hug it like a little kid would do to his teddy bear.
I can't look at his direction, I thought I could but I can't. I am too scared of neglection.
'That's the thing. It's not fine. It's not fair on you. Nobody should go through what I am about to put you through.'My voice is starting to tremble making all this more harder to do. Why can't I do something so simple as talk?
He sits closer to me and he puts his arm around my shoulders. 'It can't be that bad, and if it is, we can go deal with it together.'
I looked slightly more to the left where he was sitting next to me. I sighed and prepared myself for more emotional stress.
'Something happened to me...'
'What do you mean by that...?'He cuts me, even though I was struggling to put my words together so he wasn't really interrupting much.
'I think it would be better if you let me finish before you say anything.'
'Ok.'
'Something happened to me while I was gone. I don't know much details to be honest. I just know that I am different from who I was before.
As in...
I am not the same Stiles from months ago...
I am...
I have....
As I said I don't know how it happened
All I know is that...
I've been changed...not as in turned but...
I am a chimera...
I am part nogitsune....'
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
I AM SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRYYYYYYYY
I HAVENT UPDATED FOR SO LONG
BUT I AM BACK
I AM OFFICIALLY BACK
DONT WORRY
AND I STILL GOT IDEAS OF HOW TO MIX IN SEASON 6A SOOOOOO
THERE IS STILL MORE TO COME
I APOLOGIZE ONCE AGAIN
I AM SORRY FOR MAKING YOU WAIT
NJVFOEHNOUARVHAAEPHIVÑAE
:/