The flashing cameras and the screams of excitement would make anyone feel dizzy or unbalanced. It was the night of the premier of Harry Potter, everyone was there from Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint to Maggie smith and Ralph Fiennes. The red carpet was buzzing with excited fans and filled with many celebrities some of whom weren't even featured in the film but who were there to come and see the first showing of the very successful film franchise.
"Over here!"
"Helena!" she tried to ignore most of the calls from all the flashing cameras and fans as she smiled and posed by herself on the red carpet.
"Helena please to your right!" this time she did turn with her hand on her hip smiling for the picture even if her smile was a slightly tired and sad one. She was dressed in a purple dress that hung nicely around her baby bump and showed off her still skinny legs and new shoes she had brought for this evening especially. As gorgeous and happy as she may have looked she felt quiet the opposite. In fact a huge part of her just wanted to jump back in the car and go home, to forget about this evening and rest her feet up. Her heart seemed to be playing up again making it hard for her to continue smiling as the cameras flashed violently in her face. It felt like shooting pains across her chest making it in someways uneasy to breath properly.
She had found herself hugging the toilet seat the minute she was up and out of bed. Her morning sickness had never been so bad and right now as she stood with hundreds of fans and hundreds of different people calling her name she felt almost faint. Not helping with the bright flashes of cameras in her face and the occasional reporter sticking their microphone in front of her for a brief interview. And yes, if they weren't brief Helena would certainly make them, she was in no mood for people to be prying into her life, especially her personal one.
Now as she thought about that very topic it seemed to shake her in some way. With the events that followed after Johnny had left their home last night made Helena feel somehow unsure or even uneasy about Mark. He was angry last night and not only that but he was angry at her. He had scared her a little, made her question if he really was the nice guy he made out. She knew he was only looking out for her and wanting to make sure she was protected, but in someway his protectiveness was leading into slight madness and last night proved that.
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As soon as the door was shut and Johnny had left Helena gradually made her way back into the living room. She spotted Mark standing by the large fireplace with one arm resting high on the mantle piece resting his head as he was looking down at the flames. Everywhere else in the house had electrical fireplaces but Helena like the fact that the living room was her one and only room that she could keep things as they were. "Mark?"
Turning around and staring at her dead in the eye as she made her way over to him Helena felt herself gulp as his eyes seemed to look straight through her, she wasn't even sure if he blinked. "Why was he here?" his aggressive tone made her frown at him and not only that but his question took her off guard as well.
"He came to see Nell, you know she hasn't been well" Helena stated her eyes matching his as he stated at her so fed up and so well...angry.
"I know she hasn't that's why I'm here to see her, do you have any idea what its like to come here and see you all play happy families? I hate him" Mark's tone turned very sour within seconds. "You may hate him mark but he is the father of my soon to be child!" Helena exclaimed moving from him in aggravation only to feel herself begin pushed suddenly against the wall by the fireplace. "Mark!" she yelled her eyes flashing in shock that he would be such a thing especially in her current state. "What the fuck is the matter with you" her arms were pinned to the wall with his harsh grip.
"Stop using me!" he barked in her face making her freeze suddenly and look at him in surprise. Use him? what on earth did he mean by that? this wasn't like him, why was he behaving like such an animal.
"Using you?" her word were no more then a whisper as she looked into his slightly pained eyes, his head seemed to bow in front of her and his grip loosened although not enough to let her completely free. "Do you not have any feelings for me?" his words were now soft and sounded slightly broken and for that alone Helena could feel herself sympathies with him. As soon as his eyes met hers she slowly began to twitch a small smile as he looked at her. "I do" she whispered and as true as that might be it didn't mean she had any feelings of love. He was attractive and kind and sweet yet love didn't seem to fit the equation, love like she had felt before was so different so surreal that nothing could match that.
"Then let us move forward, together" he said softly his eyes matching that softens to his tone while his hands freed themselves from her and instead cupped her face instead. "Because...I love you Helena" he whispered stepping closer while his thumbs stroked both cheekbones before his lips suddenly found there way to hers kissing her so softly so lovingly yet she knew she couldn't give him what he wanted. She knew this was wrong. Kissing him was something she wanted to feel relaxed about doing, yet he didn't make her feel relaxed. Instead as soon as she felt his hand make their way down to her waist and the sudden deepness to his kiss she knew she had to pull away. which she did.
"I want you Hellie" she heard him whisper between kissing her while his body moved close against hers and his hands began to softly move over her body showing her that a kiss wasn't all he had in mind tonight.
"I can't" the words made him shut his eyes slowly in defeat. The moment she broke the kiss he knew the reasons why, he knew loud and clear what she was now hiding here. She wasn't afraid to show affection, yet he knew now it wasn't him that she wanted.
"You still love him don't you?" he whispered looking at her again noticing how her eyes began to tear up. "Mark" she tried but was cut of again by him "Tell me the truth" she knew she owed it to him and to herself yet saying it out loud seemed like such a huge statement. But yet it was unfair to be pulling him along like this and not really knowing how she felt.
Bowing her own head Helena nodded as if ashamed of her own foolish heart. Wiping her tears away with her hand she kept her eyes to the ground, she knew that must of hurt and she knew how silly she must of looked yet as soon as she felt Marks arms imprison her tight in his embrace she couldn't help the tears fall as she let it all out. All the suppressed feelings about Johnny were now out and in the open, and that made her feel vulnerable. She knew she still loved him but she didn't know if she could ever forgive him, even more so she wasn't sure if she could ever begin to trust him enough to take him back.
"It's ok" Mark whispered running his hands slowly up and down her warm back before pressing a reassuring kiss to her temple. "We'll get through this...."
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Those words still haunted her in some way 'We'll get through this' what did that mean? Helena wasn't sure at all. She felt so confused so completely unsure of what to do to move on. She knew deep down she wanted Johnny, yet she didn't want him back, taking him back meant forgiving him, that everything that had happened could be forgotten and for that alone she wasn't sure if she could ever let that happen.
Walking further down the red carpet Helena signed some more autographs and spoke to some more reporters. In some ways it was actually a good was to distract herself from the events of last night, it was a good way to completely zone out. "you look beautiful Helena!"
"Whens the baby due?"
"Are you still dating that Mark guy?"
"Will Johnny be involved in the baby life?" the sudden questions were coming at her thick and fast and she felt less easy then she had hoped. Her mouth opened and closed with each question, finding the words seemed so difficult especially when different private questions were being flung her way by numerous people and reporters. "Urm....I"
"Helena is it true that Johnny Depp hit you!?" now that question made her frown and immediately she shook her head at those accusations "God no!" she replied finally watching as the man with the question scribbled something down in his black note pad. "Are you and Dominic getting back together?" the questions were becoming more and more bizarre and Helena could only frown deeper.
"I should hope not" a warm hand pressed softly on her exposed shoulder making her turn to see where this voice was coming from. "Johnny!" people were calling his name excitably as the reports got even closer to them "Johnny can you answer a few question for us?"
Watching him as he politely shook his head at the bunch of nosy reporters Johnny smirked at Helena from the corner of his eye as she just seemed to stare at him now "Maybe later but now we must go in" he said this time sliding his hand from her shoulder to the small of her back gently pressing her to move off with him. As soon as they were away from the public eye and in the cinema Johnny led her away from all the famous stars making their way into the viewing room to watch the movie.
"Are you alright?" he asked sweetly as soon as they were facing away from everyone. Helena looked at him again a small kind smile gracing her lips as she gave a nod "Fine" for some reason she felt awkward, as if she was hiding something from him, she didn't want to look at him nor did she really want to be standing here with him alone. She felt as if she was keeping a secret that the idea that she still loves him was something she was scared he may find out. She didn't want to feel weak, he was still a cheater no matter what.
Standing there in a smart black suit that was buttoned to the neck and his now shortish hair combed nicely from his face Johnny couldn't help but watch her as she stared at the floor uncomfortably, what was getting at her? "you don't seem fine" he said with no reaction from her at all. "Well I am" she whispered this time looking back at him with no emotion what so ever.
Clenching his jaw in realisation and slight worry Johnny pulled on her arm to move them even further from view "What did he do?" his voice was hard and protective and Helena could only narrow her eyes on him as if puzzled "What do you..."
"Did he touch you in some way? hurt you?" she could see his eyes were serious and she could tell it was beginning to drive him mad. How could he tell she was upset just by looking at her? how did he know it was something to do with mark? Johnny knew her to well, far to well as if he was reading her like a book. "Nothing" she exclaimed but he still wasn't having it "Hel....."
"Helena!" a voice suddenly called making both their eyes shoot to the right as the noticed as if on cue Mark running over to them. "I didn't think you were coming" Helena stated generally surprised to see him here. He was meant to be her date tonight but he had been working down in Norfolk all day and had told her he wouldn't be able to make it as it was a 3 hour car journey to London.
Approaching the pair of them all suited up the same as Johnny Mark ignore his presence and smiled a little in Helena's direction "I wanted to get here and so I left early, literally just got back" he panted a little when he spoke as if he had been rushing. Johnny stepped back a little as they spoke watching closely as Mark pulled her to one side of the long corridor they were in.
"Hel, listen I know we haven't spoken since last night..." he began as quietly as he could not realising that Johnny was listening carefully like a dog with his ears up. "I'm sorry.....I shouldn't have forced you like that, I shouldn't have pushed you to do anything" Johnny's eyes widened in horror at what he was hearing. Forced her! Forced her to do what! sorry that he pushed her? what the actual fuck did he mean by that!
"I didn't mean to frighten you..." that was it Johnny couldn't help himself but stalk forward and push Mark roughly against the wall just where Helena was standing "Johnny!" she exclaimed in shock as he grabbed Mark by his coat labels and held him tight up against the wall. "What the fuck do you mean forced?! to do what exactly!" he yelled in his face angrily while Helena stepped a few paces back scared by this sudden up-raw. "Well!" he yelled again.
Helena knew she couldn't do anything, all she seemed to be doing now was checking around that no one was watching or witnessing this. "Stop" she cried as Johnny removed one hand from Mark's coat and clasped it hard around his throat "If you made her do anything...I swear I'll kill you right here and now" his eyes were flashing with rage and his grip on Mark was getting more and more stronger making him squirm slightly under his threatening hold.
"Stop" Helena felt the tears seep from her eyes and not only that but she had to cover her chest as it heaved up in down in panic. she was getting worked up and when she was worked up it only meant bad things for her health. "Please" she tired scrunching her face as a few shooting pains went through her stomach.
"I didn't sleep with her if thats what you think" Mark croaked nervously under his hold "but you tried!" Johnny responded pushing Marks head hard against the wall with a huge crack causing Helena to cover her mouth in shock. "Johnny!" her cries of desperation were falling on death ears. She could feel her heart rate quicken and her legs were beginning to go limp.
"Have you any idea...." Johnny began again yelling into Marks face not noticing that Helena was beginning to collapse to the floor slowly as he legs felt like jelly "Johnny" she tried calling for him desperate now that he could help her. She felt so faint, so unwell that she thought she may pass out. Yet he still kept his eyes on Mark. "Nothing happened" Mark said his eyes scared for the first time that Johnny may actually kill him. He had seen him in the film Sweeney Todd and right now he looked as if he was actually playing that character but in real life.
"Johnny...."
"You better be right nothing fucking happened!" he barked.
"Johnny" he could hear Helena call him and as soon as he reverted his eyes to her he couldn't help but loosen Mark quickly as he noticed her collapsed on the floor hugging her pregnant stomach in pain. "Hel" he whispered in shock before rushing over to her side. Running his arm around her to keep her up Johnny noticed she was beginning to sweat, a lot. Her eyes were droopy and her hands were trembling. "Baby what's wrong, is it the child? sweetheart look at me" his one free hand cupped her face noticing she was finding it hard to keep her eyes open.
Mark was also quick to rush to her side "Helena" he tried placing his hand on her shoulder only to have Johnny hit his hand away in frustration "Don't touch her! ring an ambulance now!" he hissed hugging his arm around her tighter letting her head rest between the crook of his neck while he brushed her hair from her face.
Her eyes were barely open and her temperature was beginning to drop "Come on Helena, stay awake baby the ambulance will be on it's way" she heard him say by her ear in slight panic but to her it all sounded like slow motion everything around her was spinning until finally everything went, black.
A/N: First of all i'd like to apologise that it took me so long to update. I'm been so busy recently that I haven't sound the time to really do anything:( However I have managed this update phew;) it would really mean a lot if you could let me known what you all think, I don't ask for much but it would be nice to hear if you are enjoying it and if you get the chance i'd love to know why:) thanks so much for all the read!!!!! I'll try update the soonest i can<3 <3 <3