Hanako opened her eyes but all she saw was white. It wasn't the kind of white that dazzles when there's too much light—she was literally staring at the color white. The brunette was trapped inside a white room. No doors. No windows. She was having trouble trying to tell ceiling from ground, left from right; it was all the same.
The Uchiha stood up but got dizzy the moment she stood straight and fell back down. The girl couldn't calculate dimensions, and her balance was severely affected.
"Calm down," she heard a familiar voice and gasped. 'Was that...?' "If you keep moving around like that, it'll only get worse."
Hanako looked around, but she saw no one. "What is this place? Where am I?"
"This is the inside of your mind," said the voice again as an echo. "Basically, the point where it all connects. This is your center." Shisui finally appeared behind her. He was looking down at Hanako with kind, understandable eyes.
"Shisui!" The girl's eyes widened immeasurably. "Why are you here? Does this mean that I am—?"
"No." He cut her off before she could finish. "You're not dead, Hanako."
"Then..." The Uchiha frowned, looking down at her hands. She was perfectly clean and recharged of energy, like if she hadn't fought at any time. "What happened?"
"You just fainted," Shisui replied calmly. He approached her with short steps and looked at her at eye level. "You overexerted your eyes. You're most probably blind, back in the real world."
"In the real world?" Hanako was stunned.
"This is your mind, another dimension. Like a parallel world, if you want to see it that way," Shisui started to explain. "I have been watching you from here."
Hanako looked at him questionably. "You've seen everything?"
"Yes," Shisui smirked. "You enjoyed that meeting you had with Itachi, didn't you?"
"Shut up." She looked away, already feeling a warmth on her cheeks. Shisui chuckled.
"I'm glad you haven't lost the spark," he said. "Although, I can tell you're confused." The girl scoffed.
"Confused? About what?"
"You should know by now that you can't fool me." Shisui looked at her with an expressionless face. Hanako only looked at him but didn't say anything. The older Uchiha sighed and looked away when he couldn't take it anymore, making the younger one chuckle.
"I'm not confused. I know pretty well what I want."
"You really want to find that symbol? Are you not worried on the slightest about what you could find?" Shisui asked in a curious but worried tone.
Hanako looked at him. "No, I'm not."
"Don't lie to me," Shisui muttered, looking at her with keen eyes. "You want revenge. You want that bastard to pay."
It took Hanako too long to realize... after she saw the weird smirk in his face and the unkind amusement in his voice when he talked about murder, she knew it wasn't Shisui in front of her.
The Uchiha girl inhaled deeply. Like a work of magic, Shisui's silhouette morphed into a girl with black hair who looked at her with the same expression. It was like looking into a mirror. The girl...was her.
"You think I don't know what you're doing next?" she asked, faking her innocence as she sat right in front of her. "Deary, that's exactly what I would do. I'm always one step ahead of you...literally."
Hanako gulped. The other girl was talking to her as if she were a lost puppy that didn't know where it was standing --and she was definitely right. If she wasn't dead, then where was she? Inside her own subconscious...maybe?
"Amane..." Hanako muttered with gritted teeth. The girl smirked widely.
"Cute but not dumb. Reminds me of myself."
"What do you want?"
Amane laughed as if she had just said the most delirious of jokes. "I don't want anything from you."
The Uchiha frowned. Did Amane really expect her to buy that?
"I know what you're thinking, Hanako," she said. "I'm also an Essence user. I know how your mind works. All those techniques you learned from my scrolls, I learned them by myself. It took me years to master them, understand them so I could pass it on to you." The brunette just looked at her, waiting for her to finish her monologue so she could jump in and question her. "I knew you were next. I knew when I was going to die. Curse...blessing...it all depends on your point of view."
"My point of view?"
Amane chuckled. "Look," she started saying, like if she were teaching a lesson, "you always know what's going to happen. For you, it's a curse because you don't like knowing everything. You love uncertainty. For me, it was a blessing because I hated uncertainty."
"What are you doing here?" Hanako hissed with her eyes narrowed. She ignored her babbling. She really didn't care whatever she had to say about Essence or whatever she was talking about uncertainty. She spoke like some ancient kunoichi—which she was—and the young Uchiha couldn't quite get her tongue.
Amane smiled widely, "My explanation is beyond your comprehension, isn't it?"
"It's not!" Hanako growled.
"Then let me," Amane stood up and placed a hand on her forehead. "You must know that having two consciousness and only one mind is really not healthy for one head." Hanako frowned.
"Then get out."
"I can't." Amane smiled again. She really seemed innocent to anyone who looked at her but, for Hanako, she looked like the evilest of demons.
"Why not?" Hanako slapped her hand away from her face.
"Because you need me."
Hanako raised an eyebrow at her rushed assumption. "Says who?"
"You're weak, Hanako. You have no idea how to control your abilities. My abilities," Amane quickly corrected. "You need me, to defeat Madara."
The brunette burst into laughter. "And who said I wanted to defeat the old geezer?" She spoke to her like a clown trying to mess with a youngster. "Because you seemed to have done an awesome work trying to defeat him." I emphasized the word "defeat" pronouncing each syllable with perfect intonation.
"Why else would you join Orochimaru? Why else would you avoid the Akatsuki at all costs?" Amane listed knowingly, with a convinced grin. "Why else would you—"
"Okay, that's enough." Hanako interrupted her, raising her hand to shut her up.
Amane chuckled, she knew she now had the upper hand. "You try to keep your business to yourself. You might get lost in the way, not exactly knowing what you're doing. But you always maintain the same road to the same end," she said. "You want to defeat Madara, because you know he's not right."
"I don't know that." The young Uchiha was quick to remark. "For instance, he might be right. Maybe this fucked up world needs everyone in an endless dream so it can finally be calm."
Amane's grin disappeared from her face. "You're talking murder," she stated, completely unfazed.
"No," Hanako grinned. "I'm just stating facts."
"You don't even know what you're talking about!" Amane barked. "You think you know how Essence works, but you know nothing!"
"Look, I don't know how did you get inside of my mind or why you're here, but I do know one thing for sure," the brunette spoke slowly—walking to stand right in front of her ancestor. "I don't need you, or anyone, to help me. You get in my way, and I'll get rid of you. Just as that."
Amane frowned. "You don't—"
"Good-bye." Hanako finished, not giving her even a chance to respond when the image around her changed. The Uchiha District started to paint itself in Hanako's surroundings as people walked by past her.
"Never thought I would see you so soon," Shisui's voice resounded in her ears. He spoke right at her back and Hanako looked at him from over her shoulder. "You're not supposed to be here, yet."
"Here, where?" The brunette narrowed her eyes. "So deep in my mind?"
Shisui let out a soft chuckle. "Precisely."
"Why not?"
Shisui sighed, seeming to ponder the words he would say next. The Uchiha watched some children playing with a ball, far away from them. They were standing in the middle of the road with lines of houses at each side. "Your mind is like an ocean, the deeper you swim, the harder it becomes to swim back to the surface," he finally explained. Hanako looked back at him.
"Even in death, you keep tutoring me... how amusing..." Shisui's image chuckled.
"You need me, Hanako." The girl pursed her lips.
"I've lived for five years without you, and I've been particularly fine."
Shisui shrugged, "If you say so..."
"How deep...am I...?"
Shisui looked at me. "Deep enough to find the base of the Kotoamatsukami," he said. "Which is, by the way, what keeps me here."
"You're trapped inside of me?" Hanako raised an eyebrow at him. Shisui sighed.
"Part of my chakra is. But, I don't see a point in staying if you managed to break out of the Genjutsu."
"You were trying to control me! It was selfish of you to think I wouldn't break out!" Hanako nagged, frowning.
"I wasn't controlling you," Shisui said calmly. "I was trying to keep your neighbor at bay."
"Amane?" I looked at him with widened eyes. "You knew about her? Since when?"
"The first time your hair turned black," he said, "although at first, it was a guess. Now I'm sure about it." Hanako looked down at her hands as she clenched them into fists. She had no idea. She only thought Amane was her ancestor, but her memory is literally living inside of her—and she found out today when Shisui knew more than eight years ago. "Everything you've done has been out of your own free will," Shisui said. "But when your hair turns black, your conscious is another."
"Amane," Hanako mumbled under her breath, but Shisui could hear her.
"Yes," Shisui looked at her with an apologetic frown. "She takes control when she thinks you're not strong enough to handle the situation," he said, remembering the times where he saw her dark hair. "That time when we fought the Tsuchikage, your hair turned black right when you summoned the Susanoo. She takes strength from you, she uses your powers. She drains your chakra." Shisui clenched his fists and bit his lip. "You have an awful lot of stamina Hanako, but your body can only withstand one person controlling it. That's why I wanted to stop Amane, using the Kotoamatsukami to change her will to do only what you wanted."
Hanako frowned. "You were just trying to protect me..." she muttered more to herself than to him. "Like you always did."
Shisui sighed, laying a hand on her shoulder. "That's what I will always do," he said. "I told you Hanako, you can trust me." Hanako didn't look at him. Shisui pulled his hand away from her and walked a few steps until he reached the grassy ground, there was a yellow flower which called Hanako's attention. "I see you keep a vase of daffodils on the table next to your bed," he commented.
Hanako took a deep breath, "You're the one who taught me that every time I smelled the sweet smell of a flower I could let go of all my troubles."
"And you still do it?" Shisui asked with keen interest.
Hanako pressed her lips and focused her eyes on the blue sky, getting covered with dark gray clouds. "It doesn't seem to be working anymore," she said grimly. "Every time I see a flower, I am reminded that I have problems to deal with."
"That's because you want to think about them," Shisui spoke calmly, carefully ripping the flower from its stable place in the ground.
"They are not going to deal with themselves!" Hanako snapped. "I can't continue running away from them, Shisui—!"
"I'm not saying you should," Shisui interrupted her calmly. He smelled the flower and smiled at it. "I'm saying you shouldn't stress about it." Hanako stared at him in confusion.
"What do you mean?"
Shisui walked back towards her. "We all have our own demons to deal with, Hanako. And there's no need for any of us to victimize ourselves." Shisui gave her the flower, patting her head in the process. "Sometimes we need help from each other, sometimes we don't. Sometimes we ask for help from those around us and they selfishly ignore us. Sometimes," he smiled, "help comes without even asking for it. Our job is not to push those who we care about away, but to accept them with the brightest of smiles. If we help each other out, we're going to be one step closer to that desired peace." Hanako looked up at him with wide eyes. "I know Madara doesn't think that way," Shisui continued. "I know he wants to destroy what we've built, and rebuild it his own way. I don't know at which point he might succeed," he shrugged, "but I still don't think it's worth the risk."
Hanako gulped. "I..."
"Don't say anything," Shisui said. "Hear me out. I know you considered Madara's offer. I'm not anyone to tell you what you should or shouldn't do. That's your choice, and I won't betray you, no matter what choice you make." Shisui looked away for a moment, at the sky. He seemed worried. "Hanako, I will always stand by your side, and I'm pretty sure Itachi will be there as well. You're not alone, remember that."
The sights around Hanako started to slowly fade, she seemed to be waking up. "Wait, Shisui!"
Shisui smiled at her. "I think I should go. Like I said before, there's no point in me staying here if the Genjutsu is finally broken."
"Will I see you again?" Hanako asked, desperation blooming in her voice.
Shisui smiled at her brightly, "Let's hope we don't, at least not anytime soon." He disappeared, and Hanako's surroundings faded into black.
* * *
Little rays of sunshine managed their way through the thick dark curtains on the window. Kakashi sighed as he stood up, the light was striking Hanako directly on her face. He quickly walked towards the curtains and pulled them closed. The girl had slept through the night, while Kakashi held his eyes open the entire time.
Hayabusa was resting on the back of the bed, right over the brunette. As soon as he had felt something was wrong, he had rushed to their location. Kakashi first thought that Hayabusa was incapable of feeling emotion towards his master like any falcon would, but Hanako's bird was different. Hayabusa seemed to care about her—like a guardian would. He was no ordinary summoning. Just like the Inuzuka with their dogs, Kakashi thought.
"She's waking up," Hayabusa's stern tone brought Kakashi back to his senses.
Hanako's eyes opened slowly, at first she saw nothing, but she could feel Kakashi's chakra right next to her. They were both inside a small room. "Kakashi?" she asked slowly. Her dry throat suffered from the talking and she coughed.
"Here," Kakashi brought a glass of water into her lips. Hanako gulped the water slowly, feeling satisfied when the cold liquid reached her stomach. She hadn't eaten anything in three days, and she was starving.
"Thanks," she pushed the glass away from her and carefully rubbed her sore eyes with the back of her hand. The burning feeling didn't fade. She blinked a couple of times until an image started to appear. She looked around to find herself in a dark room, illuminated only by the rebellious light that filtered through a small opening in the curtains. "It's dark," she commented the obvious.
"It's plain daylight, actually," Kakashi corrected, putting the glass back on the table. "Darkness will help you heal your eyes. If you force them right now, you might go blind."
Hanako sighed, "Perhaps..." she blinked again. The pain was slowly receding. "How long was I out?"
"All night," Hayabusa replied. Hanako looked over her shoulder at the bird, she hadn't noticed its presence. "You should be okay by now."
Hanako frowned slightly, remembering her dream. "Your hair was black, when you killed the leader of the gang," Hanako tensed when Kakashi spoke in an accusing tone.
"When I killed him?" she asked warily.
"Yes," Kakashi frowned. "That's what I said. You killed him, Hanako."
'No, I didn't,' Hanako thought. 'Amane did.' "I don't remember... I just know I got stabbed, then I fainted."
"Your Mangekyo never deactivated," Kakashi added. "All the while, even when you were out, your eyes were blazing red --every time I checked them."
"Did you see something when you were unconscious?" Hayabusa asked. Hanako looked at him, then at Kakashi. Her eyes stayed glued to him, his eyes met hers in an awkward stare down. "Hanako?" Hayabusa asked again, but the girl didn't reply.
Kakashi stood up from the chair he was sitting in and walked towards Hanako. Their eyes never left each other. "You didn't see anything?" asked the Jonin. Hanako remained silent. Her eyes moving across his face. "Well, I suppose you're at least feeling okay to continue?"
"I want to rest," was all Hanako said. "I'm not sure if I'm in proper condition to return yet..."
"You are," Hayabusa said. "I know you don't want to go back, Hanako, but you'll recover faster back at the apartment." Kakashi looked strangely at the falcon when he mentioned that. Didn't Hanako want to return?
"I was actually going to suggest checking the symbol," Kakashi shook his head, gaining Hanako's attention. "We made a promise before we left the village," he extended his hand towards the Uchiha. Even though it was dark, Hanako could still make out the silhouettes of it. "I like to keep my word."
"I don't think it's such a good idea to—"
"I'll go," Hanako interrupted her guardian before he could finish his argument. "I want to know what happened to Kaito-sensei; I'm sure you can understand that, Hayabusa."
There were a few moments of silence before he replied: "Alright, I'll be waiting for you back at the apartment." He disappeared in a cloud of smoke.
Hanako let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, grasping tightly the other Jounin's hand. Kakashi pulled her up and off the bed, bringing her to her bare feet. The floor was cold, and Hanako flinched slightly when the cool feeling moved up her spine. "Hey," Kakashi let her stand over his own feet, soothing her back. "Sorry, you're not used to the temperature yet."
"Why is it so cold?" Hanako started to tremble when she was ripped off the warm blankets of her bed. Kakashi wrapped his arms around her slim figure, she started to tremble more furiously.
"It's not. You probably have a fever, your system hasn't had any food in a while, your immune system must be a riot." Kakashi pulled away from her to place his gloveless hand over her forehead. "You're hot."
"Thanks, I know," Kakashi looked hardly at her.
"This is not the time for sarcastic comments, Hanako, are you hungry?" he asked.
"Starving," came her quick reply. Hanako sat back on the bed while Kakashi searched in his bag for food. He had packed some rice balls, and of course, soldier pills.
"Eat, then take the pill." Hanako made a contorted face.
"Soldier pills are disgusting," she said, taking a bite of the rice ball Kakashi had given her.
Kakashi raised both his eyebrows. "You still have to eat one, they're protein." Hanako finished her meal and grimaced when Kakashi neared the pill to her mouth. "Come on, say 'aah'," Hanako glared at him.
"I'm not a—" she didn't get to finish when Kakashi had already shoved the pill into her mouth. Hanako swallowed it whole, then burst into a coughing fit. "Why did you do that?!"
"You needed it," Kakashi closed his bag, but took out some things from it first. He then walked her way and kneeled right in front of where she was sitting. Hanako observed him carefully. The room was still dark but she could see the glint in his eyes. "I have your book," he carefully pulled the book from his pouch and gave it to her.
"Did you see it?" Hanako asked, taking the book from him. She then hugged it tightly, as if protecting it from the Jonin. Maybe it is her journal, Kakashi thought.
"No," he shook his head. "I was tempted to, but I'll respect your privacy." Hanako sighed in relief. Kakashi then reached his pocket and pulled out a golden chain with a red tomoe as a pendant. "Take back your necklace, I think I've had it enough." Hanako smiled at him.
"Would you help me put it on?"
"Sure," Kakashi reached both his arms around her neck, while the girl pulled up her hair so it wouldn't get in his way. Hanako's eyes were staring right at him, her nose was so close to his they would slightly touch each other. When the pin clasped, Kakashi pulled away with a clear of his throat. He then reached his other pocket for a white bandage. "Put this on," he said, giving her the tissue.
"A blindfold?" She raised an eyebrow at him. "Why?"
"It's too bright outside, it might hurt your eyes. Besides," Kakashi stopped for a moment to take a breath. "I don't want you to know the symbol's exact location."
"I'm not going to do anything, Kakashi," Hanako rolled her eyes, nevertheless she put on the blindfold. "So, I'm supposed to follow you through chakra?"
"Nope, I'm going to carry you." Hanako laughed.
"I might be blind but not disabled," she said.
"There's something called muscle memory," Kakashi made sure she had tightened the knot just enough so the bandage wouldn't fall off. "I can't risk you use that either," he finished clapping his hands right in front her nose, Hanako flinched at the sound. "How many fingers do I have?" he straightened two fingers.
"Twenty," Hanako replied. Kakashi rolled his eyes. "Are you serious, Kakashi? I can't see you, now let's go."
* * *
Kakashi caught his breath when he reached the spot. The symbol was still there. Hanako had been in his back all the while, and Kakashi had shuddered once in a while when she purposefully had breathed against his neck in their trip. He put her down and Hanako took off the blindfold. She didn't expect the day to be so bright.
"Ow..." she closed her eyes immediately, getting used to the light.
"Told you," Kakashi chuckled. "It'll hurt your eyes."
"Shut up," Hanako blinked a couple of times, getting accustomed to daylight.
"So, what now?" Kakashi looked warily at her. "Are you sure you can use Essence in your condition?"
"I won't be if I don't try..." Hanako frowned, she finally opened her dark orbs, fading them into bright red. She kneeled in front of the symbol, it was the same as the Akatsuki book, the Jashinist symbol. A triangle inscribed in a circle, tinted on the ground with blood --black after the past few years.
"Are you ready?" Kakashi put a hand on her shoulder. Hanako nodded softly.
"Yes, I am."
Hanako activated her Mangekyou Sharingan, letting all the memories flood her mind.
"Sensei..." Koharu's voice could be heard even from a mile away, her whining couldn't be missed. "How long until we find her?"
"We don't even know if we'll find her, Koharu," Hiroki said tiredly. "We're only following a possible trace."
"I'm just going to drop here, you guys can continue." She let herself fall right next to the tree trunk. Her teammate stopped in his tracks and turned to look at her from over his shoulder.
"Why are you so hard to deal with?" he asked, not caring about sounding rude. "You don't mind if we find her or not?"
"For a matter of fact, I don't," Koharu shrugged. "She's probably the reason Itachi-kun left in the first place, anyway. We should be looking for him, not Hanako. He is our teammate, after all."
"He was," he corrected. "I refuse to call a murderer my teammate."
"Oh? So now you're defending her?" Koharu snapped, standing up in a moment.
"Itachi was the one who killed the Uchiha!" Hiroki shouted. "And yes, I sympathize with Hanako, how would you feel if the person you loved most suddenly killed all of your family, huh? How would you feel Koharu?" Hiroki's golden eyes shone when the sunlight hit them. His bright green hair was sticking to his forehead with all the sweat.
Hanako was standing right there, looking at all of them with careful eyes. Koharu's cheeks were flushed and her orange hair combed into a messy bun. Hiroki was angry, with his hands curled up into tight fists. Kaito, on the other hand, was looking straight into the distance, as if watching something that moved in the bushes.
Hanako followed his eyes, she was surprised to see some drops of dry blood over the grass. She walked towards the bushes and kneeled just to find a pair of violet eyes looking right through her. 'This is Hidan,' she thought.
The man smiled cynically as if planning a massacre in his head. His violet lustrous eyes shone with expectation, waiting for the bloodshed. Hanako looked down at his weapon, a triple blade scythe. He grasped it firmly.
Hanako looked back over her shoulder at her sensei, Hiroki and Koharu were still fighting and throwing insults at each other, but Kaito was glaring intently at Hidan's hiding spot. Hidan chuckled upon being discovered and jumped out of his hiding spot. He went right through Hanako and continued past her. Hanako inhaled deeply, Hidan had literally moved right through her. Of course, she wasn't really there.
Hanako turned around abruptly upon hearing the clash of metal. Kaito was fighting against his scythe with a kunai, Hiroki had gotten into a defensive stance in front of Koharu, while the girl only cowered back.
Hanako gripped her hand around her own kunai. She wished she was there, but she was having a hard time trying to remind herself that this is just a memory, from two years ago. Two years and she already knew how this battle would end; who would be buried six feet underground afterward. Hanako had a tight feeling in her stomach, Kaito was having trouble in guarding himself against the long blades of the scythe.
Hidan suddenly attacked the two teenagers, Hiroki was paralyzed in fear when Kaito got in the way of Hidan's blade. The three sharp edges were stabbed into his stomach, blood poured from the wounds like a water fountain. Kaito fell to his knees and coughed out blood.
Hanako stood right behind Hidan, looking at her former sensei with teary eyes. "I'm sorry, sensei..." she muttered lowly. For her surprise, Kaito heard her.
"Hanako..." he looked at her. "Is that you?"
"Kaito-sensei!" Koharu screamed, covering her mouth. She took a few steps back but fell on the ground. Hidan looked at her coldly.
"I don't think it's worth the while to curse your teacher, he's already half dead," he said, looking at the two left Chunin. "I guess I'll have to curse you instead."
Kaito fell on the ground face forward, Hidan on the meantime was concentrated in drawing his Jashinist symbol with his feet. When he was done, he looked up at Hiroki. "Might as well begin the ritual," and he lunged at him.
Hanako didn't mind the fight around her, her eyes were set on her dying teacher. "You can see me?" she asked, standing at his side. Kaito moved his eyes in her direction. But he didn't say anything. His eyes became lifeless, opaque, as his vital energy was drained from his system. Hanako could feel vulnerable, but she couldn't bring herself to cry. In a moment, Hiroki's body dropped dead right beside her. He had been cursed by Hidan and so was Koharu a moment later.
None of them survived, none of them deserved to die.
Hanako opened her eyes, she had been staring at the symbol but quickly pulled away from it when the memory was over. Hidan was guilty, but a few years ago would've been easier to strike. Now, she knew, Hidan wasn't alone. And his partner was to be feared.
"So?" Kakashi asked. "Who did it?" Hanako looked at him.
"I don't know," she shrugged. "The memory was blurred, I couldn't see his face properly. I'll have to do some research on this symbol, maybe then I can figure something," she lied. She didn't want Kakashi to get involved when she knew he would. She knew perfectly well where to look, but she didn't know what to do. Hidan was an Akatsuki, just like Kisame, just like Itachi. Hidan murdered Itachi's old team, and Itachi was probably unknowingly standing beside that murderer. Hidan murdered her teacher, but she didn't feel the need to avenge him. At that moment, she felt nothing.
"Let's go back," Kakashi neared her, signaling her to put her bandage right over her eyes. Hanako complied, she would let Kakashi carry her back to the village. In the meantime, she would probably sleep all the way. She needed that rest.