My gaze on the floor as broken as soon as I hear the turning of a door handle and a shaky sigh coming from Theo's lips. I look up at him, cracking a small smile, and stand so that I can approach him.
I decided to wait for Theo and his parents for their interrogation after I was finished with my own. I had barely talked to Theo today and I really didn't want to go home without doing so, and I was fairly curious of how his parents would react to the whole 'ransom' idea.
I, for one, am still processing this information, knowing that my birth parents could be movie stars or artists or CEOs of a major company. It has to be something of the sort; why else would someone want money from them? They would have had to know my parents could provide it. The thing that's boggling me, though, is if they had all this money, why would they have to give Levi and I up? I've always had the theory that they did it because they couldn't support us, but this completely blows that out of the water.
Theo's parents are very contemporary and sophisticated people, just like he is. His father wears a black fedora and a tuxedo jacket over his work clothes, and his mother has her hair tied back in a tight knot and is sporting red high heels that match her lipstick. I feel somewhat underdressed and disgusting as I stand next to the three of them- my hair has not been washed since they cleansed the blood out of it for my ER visit, and I am only wearing a t-shirt and jeans with ripped knees. They don't judge, though; or at least they don't look like it. They are more concerned on what they heard inside the interrogation room, about their lost daughter and damaged son.
Before I can utter a word to Theo, his lip is quivering and he throws his arms around me. I stiffen, feeling somewhat foreign to hugs, but close my arms around his back and bring him closer to me. His entire body is shaking, tears dripping from his cheeks onto my shoulder. I did not think Theo was an emotional person when I first met him, based on my past knowledge of preppy boys who go to the private school, but I was wrong, and I do not mind it. Honestly, I think boys who claim that they're too cool for crying or explaining their emotions when they feel them are indubitably sad. Like Jake. He is indubitably sad.
"It's going to be okay," I whisper to Theo, digging my face into his shoulder.
"No it's not," he replies, barely audible. I hear Theo's mother weeping a few feet away, but I keep my attention on him. In this moment, he is all that I care about. He should not be here crying over the fact that his sister is missing, taken by a mentally insane man, and cannot help her. He should not be worrying over the fact that this mentally insane man might take all the money away from his family in return for his sister, who will never be the same again.
But when I think about it, he will not be the same again either. I will not be the same again. His parents will not be the same again, and neither will Lou and O'Brien.
"Sadie, this man is going to take away everything we have," Theo continues. "We might not even get Cara back to us. It will not be okay."
I tighten my hug around him, shaking my head. "No, no, no, don't say that."
He pulls away from me, wiping his eyes with his jacket sleeve. I suddenly realize the despair in his face, how hopeless and useless he must be feeling. I want to hug him again and assure him that it will be alright, even though he is telling the truth. It will not be alright.
He gives a weak smile, one that I know he is forcing. "You can stop with your optimistic act, Sadie. You know I'm right."
I bite the inside of my cheek, not knowing what to say. I do not want to be a pessimist about this, but maybe its only being realistic.
"Come on, Theo," his mother says quietly. "We should get home." She turns to me. "It was nice meeting you, Sadie. Tell your, uh, I mean... tell Lou and O'Brien that we'd love to have you all over for supper sometime soon."
I give a short nod to her and her husband, glancing at Theo once last time. "Just... call me, okay?" I whisper to him.
"Of course," he replies, smiling sweetly.
Then, without a word from any of the members of the Lewis family, they exit the building with their backs turned to me. I watch them as they go, as they walk to their red Audi with the license plate that reads, 'L3WIS'. The same car that Theo was driving when I met him in his driveway after school. They all pile in, their lips turned downward, and drive off.
I still stare at the parking space where their car was once sitting, my mind swirling. I suddenly realize how sad I am, how my hands are balled into fists at my sides and my eyes are flooding with tears. Sometimes, there are moments where you want to just fall to the floor and sob; to just scream and let the tears fall and breathe faster than your heart can beat. I have cried many times before over Levi, but I still feel that I have not let it all out. I want this sensation, to be cleansed of my sorrow.
So I do. I let myself crumble to the ground, my hands over my face, and I cleanse.
♒
"Sadie," I hear Lou say softly.
I hesitantly move my shaking hands away from my eyes, my breathing heavy and my lip trembling. When I open my eyes, the world is a white paradise. I have had my palms pressed against my eyelids for what feels like days, making my head throb and my vision almost nonexistent. Slowly, my foster mother comes into view above me, her short hair falling into her face.
"Sadie, are you okay?" she says, wiping a tear from her eye. A bracelet dangles from her wrist, jingling as she moves her arm. The piercing sound is incredibly loud in my ears for some unknown reason, making me cry out.
Lou puts her hands under my arms, lifting me up like I weigh nothing. I am in an upright position now, my legs still twisted underneath me, Lou wrapping her arms all the way around me. She rocks me me back and forth, back and forth, her chin resting on the top of my head and my face pressed against her shoulder. Someone else comes behind me and places their hand against my back, running it over the fabric of my t-shirt soothingly. I am guessing this is O'Brien.
"Darling, it will be okay," Lou says. "Shhh."
I heave out a sigh, then suck the air back in. My lungs are struggling, working so hard to exchange the oxygen that my chest aches. I am hyperventilating, my heart beating at similar speed. "I need him," I wheeze. "I need... Levi."
"We're getting him back, sweetheart," O'Brien whispers, his fingers still lingering on my shirt. "We're doing all that we can. You're doing all that you can. Do you realize how strong and dedicated you're being? We'll find him in no time at this rate."
I bite my lip, trying to slow my respiration. "It's been over week and we haven't made any progress. We're taking too much time."
Lou brings her hand to my hair, stroking it. "Honey, you need to trust the officers. They're working as hard as possible."
"Then they need to rise their capabilities!" I almost scream. "He could be dead! Levi... Levi could be dead."
The both of them are silent after that, their lips pressed in a straight line and their eyes looking empty. It is not because they feel sympathetic towards me and my troubles, but because they know I am right, just like I knew Theo was right. It's funny how I can transform from such an optimist to someone so pessimistic.
I pull away from Lou, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. My legs feel numb from being so tangled underneath my weight, but somehow I stand. "I'm sorry," I mutter. "I just... I miss him so much."
Lou pulls herself up as well, crossing her hands over her chest. "We miss him too, Sadie," she says. "We'll get him back. We promise."
♒
The next day, when my stability has fully recovered, Lou, O'Brien, and I all pile into the car. The air is still and silent; there is no wind to whistle in my ears and no clouds to allow snow or ice to fall from the skies. I, in particularly, feel like my bones are molasses when the weather is this way, because there are no sounds to pull me from my thoughts and reveries.
We drive to the local news station that is located city center, where the sidewalks are crowded and busy just as they had been a few days ago. I do not dare look out my window; I don't want to take the risk of seeing Jake or the man or basically any other human being. I'd rather just sit with my eyes closed and my head leaning back on my seat, listening to the violent hum of the heater inside our car.
I do not mind that I am skipping yet another day of school to record the broadcast. I've only been to school a few days since Levi's disappearance, and my teachers have emailed Lou and O'Brien about it, but after they were informed of our dilemma they said they understood. Sure, I am going to be very behind on our lessons when I permanently return, but for now, all I need to worry about is Levi. And, with my sudden closeness and comprehension with Theo, finding Cara as well.
"Feeling okay?" O'Brien says.
I open my eyes, meeting his glare through the mirror, and nod. Then, I let my eyelids flutter closed once again and wander through my mental world.
I feel the car coming to a stop awhile later, the clatter of O'Brien's keys being removed from the ignition filling my ears. Ahead of our car is a large, brick building surrounded by shrubs that are coated with snow. Above the doorway, a large white sign reads: "Caspen Reports- your source for the latest news," in red letters.
"Are you sure that doing this is our best chance?" I ask. "I've seen much more advanced technology on crime shows."
Lou turns around to look at me, her face free of makeup. She looks so much older without an aging shield. "The city doesn't have the money for it. I talked to the officers about it. Do you know how in debt we are?"
"No," I answer, unlatching my seat buckle. "But I believe it. There's literally nothing good about this town."
"Don't say that," O'Brien objects. "Sure it isn't the safest and most economically sufficient place to live, but we call it home. We all have our flaws, even cities."
I shrug. "I guess."
I push open my door and step out into the brisk atmosphere, shoving my hands into my pockets and closing the door with my back. As I wait for my foster parents to emerge from the car, I stare at the street ways a few hundred feet away. Cars are zooming by, they oblivious to my situation, and I oblivious to theirs.
"Come on, Sadie," Lou says. I turn towards them and she motions for me to follow her, so I do.
The inside of the building is similar to the foster center in some ways. When we walk in, the air is stuffy and dusty, like it hasn't been cleaned in ages. The secretary's desk is shiny and made of some sort of stone and the lighting has been fixtured very dramatically, though, which gives it a very modern look unlike the foster center that hasn't been updated in decades.
The secretary instantly motions us to the studio, her eyebrows raised in concern. When we walk past her and she smiles at me, I force one back, trying to act somewhat civil.
The studio is like a beehive. Camera men and directors and producers and news reporters are running around, talking to each other, preparing for the local news report that goes on every morning. I recognize one man, who is getting touch-ups done by one of the makeup artists, as the reporter who delivered the story about Levi and Cara that brought Theo and I together. As the three of us walk in, someone yells out our names.
"Ah, Sadie! Lou, O'Brien," they say. A man comes rushing towards us, dressed in black dress pants and a blue Caspen Reports t-shirt. He has a headset over his left ear and a clipboard in his hands. "I'm Mr. Decker, the executive producer of the show. We're glad to have you join us today."
"Anything to get poor Levi back to us," Lou says, the empathetic tone obvious in her voice.
Mr. Decker curls his bottom lip. "Aw, I'm so sorry. We will do everything in our power to get him to you." He turns to me. "We're going to be sharing and requiring that the show is broadcasted nationwide so the probability of your parents seeing it is more likely."
I nod, my stomach twisting.
"Alright, we're on air in twenty seconds!" a woman yells behind him, motioning for the news reporter from Levi and Cara's broadcast and another woman who is finishing applying some pink lipstick. "Hurry up!"
"We have a problem with organization, in case you can't already tell," Mr. Decker says with a sigh. "Sadie, we'll have you come on after the first commercial break, okay?"
"Okay."
I watch as the reporters rush up to the stage, where their empty seats are waiting for them, and position themselves in front of the camera. The woman folds her hands on the desk in front of them and the man does the same, as if they are taught to sit this way.
"Three, two, one... action!"
I zone out once the reporters start their broadcast. I have never been a fan of watching the news; it always bores me way too quickly. Instead I cross my arms and lean against the wall, thinking of who my parents could be, and if they will actually see the report. Of course, the story will probably be all over the internet and among verbal words as well, but I can never be too sure. Maybe they're dead. Maybe they're in jail. Maybe they're blind or deaf or have a mental illness. I can't be sure. I don't know.
"Are you nervous?" O'Brien whispers to me.
I shrug. "I'm more anxious than nervous."
"Anxious of?" he looks at me, and I glare at him back. His eyes are a dark brown, just like his hair.
"If they'll see it or not," I reply, turning back to the show.
After about fifteen minutes of standing in the sidelines, Mr. Decker escorts me closer to the stage. His hand is cold against my thin blouse- Lou randomly picked it out for me because if I had a choice, I would have stuck to my usual jeans and a sweatshirt. I haven't really cared about what I wore lately; I just want to get by. So now I'm here, with a turquoise button up blouse and leggings and my dark hair braided down my back, about to tell the world about my missing brother.
Mr. Decker brings me to the side of the set in a fake passageway that is supposed to look like a hall to "back stage". There's nothing back here actually, besides a few forgotten props and scripts.
"Don't be scared, it will all be worth it in the end," he says, running his hand along my spine.
Shivers run through me, goosebumps rising on my arms. "I'm not afraid," I whisper, gulping.
Ahead of me, the woman at the desk smiles at the camera. From this angle, I can see everything behind the desk that you usually can't on the TV- how their chairs are cushioned on the bottom, how a bar is running along the bottom of the table as a footrest. It's much more supporting than I thought. "Welcome back to Caspen Reports, I'm Lucy Rivera and we're here with breaking news. Approximately two weeks ago a local teenager known as Levi Olivers went missing after his very own birthday house party, and the police believe the abduction is a case of ransom from the boy's birth parents, who of which he was separated with at birth. We currently have Levi's younger sister, Sadie, here with an important message."
She turns towards me with the same sympathetic look that I've seen oh so many times, motioning me to come forward. I take a short breath and step towards her into the open. All of the camera men position their lenses on me, the room silent. The strong lights above me blind my eyes, but somehow I manage to sit myself into the seat next to Lucy. I nod at her slightly.
"Hello," she says, breaking the quietness. "We all know that your brother has been missing for a few weeks now, and that the case is believed to be a ransom. Can you tell us more in-depth about the situation?"
My fingers curl around each other in my lap. "We have received much untraceable contact from my brother's abductor. We don't know how he's doing it, but we can't find out where he is or what he's doing to Levi. I'm starting to get really scared and worried about him, and the man keeps asking for my parents, which is making everybody believe that it is a ransom. There's really no other explanation."
Lucy nods, her lips pursed.
"The only problem is that Levi and I were separated from my parents when we were little, and when we were put into the foster system their information was sealed. So, I'm here right now in desperation to find my parents to save my brother. I don't know what's happening to him, but I know you two are out there somewhere. Please, help find your son. He's all I have left."
I bite my lip, blinking back tears. I know you're out there.
Thank you, Sadie. Mr. and Mrs. Olivers, if you are seeing this, please call 911 immediately. We need all the help we can get on this end."
I nod, my fingers squeezing each other.
I will beg until I cannot beg any longer.