Maverick
"Maverick if you fart again I am going to staple your asshole shut." My dear little sister Lo, threatens from the third row of my mom's Tahoe, right before she punches me on the shoulder blade.
"Harlow Strong, you watch your mouth young lady." Mom scolds through the visor mirror in the front seat, before shifting her frustrated hazel eyes to me. "And Maverick, I will staple your ass shut if you let another one rip again."
I blow out a heavy breath, diverting my attention from my mom's stare of death to the passing flat Texas countryside instead. "Bah-humbug, who let the Grinches in the car." I mumble under my breath, fogging up the window. Only thirty more minutes and we will be at The Owen's cabin to spend Christmas with Finn, his family and my arch nemesis and my sister's annoying best friend - Lundyn Spence, and her mom. This is Finn and I's senior year in high school, and instead of going on a ski trip with our buds, our parents thought it would be a great idea to spend our last christmas as high schoolers together like the freaking Brady Bunch. Just thinking Lundyn's name makes me break out in hives, and get's my prank o meter to start ticking. I grab my phone from the seat and send a quick text to Finn.
Me: What up Gangsta - almost there.
Finn: Hurry up! Mom is making me do too much crap.
Me: 20 min away - btw got an idea it involves Lundy.
Finn: I'm in bro!
Me: Cool - discuss when we finally get there.
"Texting Finn how much you love him." Harlow's stank ass breath, breathes down my neck, before she thumps it.
"Ouch, you fuck tard, mine your own business." In one swift motion I unhook my seatbelt, getting ready to lay one on her arm.
"Maverick, sit your ass down!" My dad barks from the front seat."And watch your damn mouth." I plop my butt down quickly, blowing out a frustrated breath. Three hours in the car with my family is three too long.
Typical, Harlow starts crap and I never get to finish it. Her sinister side smirk proves she's gotten away yet again. " I can't wait to be away at school next year so I don't have to see your ugly face everyday." I throw over my shoulder.
"Feeling is freaking mutual - Mad Mav." She taunts with a nickname Lundy gave me two years ago.
"For the love of God, will you two please shut up for the remaining time of our trip." My mom yells.
"Fine." We both huff out in unison, settling back down in our seats. We know she means business if she starts a sentence with for the love of God. Like two weeks ago when we I got in trouble for allegedly making Lundyn run her car into our pecan tree in the front yard, and causing it to fall down. That qualified as a for the love of God moment. A chuckle escapes as I think about what happened that night at our homecoming bon fire when Finn caught his crotch on fire trying to limbo under a stick engulfed in flames. The image of him rolling on the ground screaming - "my nuts! My nuts are going to burn off," will be etched in my adolescent memory bank forever. Fucking priceless!
"What's so funny?" Harlow asks. She's on another level of nosy today.
I roll my eyes, letting out a heavy breath to calm my tongue before it says something that might land me grounded for the remainder of Christmas break."Nothing that concerns you, jailbird."
She gasp in an audible breath, "Screw you, butthole." She grits out through her braced up teeth.
Breaking my mother's request yet again, I turn in my seat to face the brat that stole Christmas joy. "You mean you haven't got time served? It's been what," I tap my finger against the slight stubble on my chin, "A week already inside of Lansing's High in school suspension."
"Nope, got one week left after the break." She states like it's no big deal.
"Well that's what you get for always starting shit." I antagonize, trying to rile up the beast dressed in an University of Texas hoodie and those god awful Ugg boots.
She springs up like a jack in the box, yanking her earbuds from around her neck. "That bitch started it by throwing a basketball in my face, and I finished it by throwing these hands in her face." She thrust her small fist out toward me, her cheeks suddenly ablaze.
"There's always three sides to every story Lo, your side, their side, and the truth." I sing out, hoping to bait her more.
A devilish grin slowly spreads across her face. "Do you want a beat down like Liz got?"
I cross my arms, resting them on the headrest of the seat. My mouth opens to give her a comeback, but my Mom beats me to the punch.
"Do both of you want your asses kicked by me?" I might be seventeen, but when Judy Strong, the woman who gave birth to the spawn of satan herself aka Harlow, threatens you, you best listen.
Quickly, I turn around in my seat replacing my earbuds. Before I turn my music on, a cold shiver runs down my spine as I hear Harlow mumble under her breath. "Watch your back this weekend, Mad Mav."
LUNDYN
"I'm so glad to be out of the car and away from Fart Face." Harlow tosses her bag onto the bed we will be sharing. "Did you have time for mission H20?" She looks toward me and swipes her wild hair behind her ear.
"Yeah, they're under the bed." We have been mapping out our plan of attack since last Christmas when the boys caught us off guard. Not again. A chill runs down my spine at the thought.
"Awesome. I know they're up to something." Harlow places one finger to her chin, "I'm just not sure how horrific it's going to be for us yet, so watch your back."
"Mission sleep attack is going to be our backup, right?" I rub my hands on my thighs. It's the one with the most to lose. Our parents will ground us for weeks, maybe even months.
"Of course, Lundy." She jiggles her foot, and even though her voice is certain, her fidgeting leads to to believe otherwise. "Don't worry, even if they ground us, senior prom isn't for another 5 months, we'll be good!" Harlow sing songs, and when she gets this tone -you can't talk her out of it. We'll go down guns blazing and die trying. We're both hell bent on getting them back for last year, consequences or not, apparently.
I stretch my ears to the sound of something hitting on the pavement outside, "What's that noise?"
"Maverick challenged Finn to a one on one game when we walked in." She shrugs and then her whole face lights up brighter than it does on Christmas morning. "Let's go up to the loft, open the window and bomb them! It's too perfect" Finn's parents cabin has an upstairs loft area that opens out with a balcony.
I scurry off the bed, reach under it for our box of water bombs and we both rush up the stairs with Harlow's mom calling out to us, "Dinner in ten!"
We both shout without turning, "Okay!"
Once the door to the loft is shut and locked, we begin moving every object we can to barricade us inside. There's a mini fridge and snacks since it's considered the game room, so we can at least make it one night if needed. We work like little ants moving everything into place, the bookcase is the first to go against the door, followed by the TV stand. We both stop and look toward each other, breathing labored and with nothing but pure, unfiltered revenge in our blood.
With our ammo, we step out on the wood of the balcony with the dark winter night to hide us. The boys have a light shining down on them in the drive as they play their game, unsuspecting of what's to come. It's Texas, but it's unusually cold this year, it happens about every five or so years, we've actually had a little snow that still dust the ground and it's so cold out that the icicles haven't melted yet.
"Okay Lundy, nows the time to chicken out if you're going to." I shake my head, smoke coming from my mouth with my breaths. "That's my best friend. Okay, on my count. One..." We both pick up the water balloons I stocked for us before all the parentals entered the house. "Two..." We gaze out at our unsuspecting victims. "Three!" She shout whispers and we launch two balloons that splat right into Finns shoulder and Mavericks back.
"What the hell?" Mavericks shocked voice shrieks before we begin raining down on them with balloons.
Finn's girl-like scream sings through the air, "Oh shit, we're under attack!"
"Man down!" Maverick says right after I nail him in the ear. "Fuck that's cold!"
They dance around the drive, bobbing and weaving our threats as I lean further over the edge to toss the water balloons, until Maverick stops and stares straight up, and up - directly at me. I swallow thickly, but force a smirk.
"Dude!" Finn stops and follows Mavericks stare. "This is war, little girls." Finn taunts shaking his finger up at us, just as Harlow hits him square in the face.
"That's it!" Maverick yells and Finn stands there in shock before quickly following Maverick into the cabin and I assume, directly for us.
"That. Was. AWESOME!" Harlow jumps up and down on her tiptoes with uncontained excitement.
"Awesome?" I croak, still seeing the glint in Mavericks eyes. A current shoots through me, starting at my scalp all the way to the tip of my toes.
BANG, BANG, BANG. "Little girls, little girls, let us in." Maverick growls as if he's the big bad wolf.
"Go away, Mad Mav!" Harlow and I shout in unison and when we look at each other, I know our eyes reflect the same thoughts. They're going to kill us if they catch us.
The banging gets louder and the door jiggles, causing us some worry, but soon we hear Mavericks mom's muffled voice from the other side.
"Well, this year it only took you four an hour before the Christmas Games begun." She chuckles, and I smile. I've always loved their mom.
"Mrs. Strong, I'm going to have PTSD after that!" Finn whines.
"Come along now boys, dinner is ready. Girls, we'll see you two in the morning." I swear I can hear the smile in her voice. She knows there is no way in hell we're coming out of this room tonight.
Harlow
The residual excitement of pinging Mav and Finn with water balloons last night still lingers, as I smile to myself while mixing up the light green paste for mine and Lundyn's facials. Lundyn and I have had that prank planned since we found out we were coming to the cabin for Christmas. We've been watching our backs like a hawk though, I know they've conspired to do something, due to their shifty eyes, and huddled whispers. Mrs. Owens has asked us to help put the gargantuan Christmas tree tonight, it's her favorite holiday so she goes over the top with her decorations and clothing attire. We are thinking Mav and Finn will do something during this time but are not sure. Last time I checked, Maverick and Finn were outside hanging up Christmas lights, and cussing like sailors to the wind. I had every urge to go and push the ladder over, but didn't feel like making a trip to the hospital today. Not wanting to be cooped in the cabin all day, Lundyn and I have decided that after our morning of self pampering; we are going to hike the trail this afternoon before we have to endure a drunken rendition of Deck the Halls sung by the one and only Mrs. B - Lundyn's mom. I love her to death, but sometimes that woman can be a little crazy.
"So have you decided what color dress you're wearing to the Holiday dance?" Lundyn asks as she eagerly whips her wrist around stirring our facial mask concoction. We YouTubed a homemade facial mask, and found one that required ingredients we could harvest around the cabin. We made up two batches, and allowed them to sit overnight, per the directions. Today we have to activate the paste by adding in some vinegar.
My nose scrunches as the strong acidic smell of vinegar sneaks its way into my nostrils. Maybe I put too much in my batch, I lean over to double check the recipe and it did call for two tablespoons. "I don't know Lundy, when Mom and I went last week, I found a really cute champagne colored short dress, and a purplish one with a black tulle skirt."
"Well maybe we can go shopping when we get back, I still have to find mine." She tosses her plastic spoon into the bathroom sink that's surrounded by a long charcoal colored slab of granite.
I copycat her motions, then reach for a hair tie to throw my hair into a ponytail as Lundyn does the same beside me. "Sure thing,we don't want you looking all raggedy for Lucas Michaels." I tease, singing out his name, while nudging her thin shoulder. Everytime I mention his name she goes all goo goo on me and blushes like a timid schoolgirl. Lundyn always discredits her good looks and equally as great personality, and never thinks she's good enough for anyone. So you could only imagine the shock she wore around school two weeks ago when Mr. Lansing High himself asked her to go the Holiday dance with him.
. "You ready to do this?" I ask her through the mirror, where I'm met with her excited eyes, and a single head nod. I scoop up a good heap of cool goo onto my four fingers, holding it out for just a moment. "Remember the video said we have to apply it heavily and leave it on for twenty minutes."
"Yeah, yeah, I know." She responds with half her face already covered. I giggle at the sight of her ocean blue eyes, surrounded by seafoam green, making her seem like some type of sea creature.
Within a minute we are both wearing a generous about of facial paste and the only thing visible are our eyes, and pink lips. "Oh my god, we look ridiculous." I stutter with laughter as I plop down on the toilet seat."
Lundyn hops up on the counter, turns towards me as her feet swing back and forth merging the pink and black colors of her fuzzy socks into one blurry blob. "She reaches her for her digital camera and extends her arm out once she has it secured. "Hey, look this way and say cheeseeee."
I concede, offering her the biggest green faced monster smile I can. One soft click later and our faces are forever saved onto the tiny camera, ready to be uploaded and captioned on facebook when we get to a laptop.
"So do you think Dumb and Dumber have already plotted their revenge?" I ask.
Her legs abruptly stop swinging as her thick brows knit together while she toggles my question around before shrugging. "Who know's Lo, part of me thinks it will not be as bad because we are around all the parentals." She throws up one finger, silencing me before I can add my two cents. "But that doesn't mean shit with them, so my guess is they are going to strike tonight while we are decorating the tree."
I chew the inside of my jaw, sifting through her educated guess. "Yeah, I agree, but I can't quite put my finger on it. Gosh, if only I hadn't gotten my fucking taser confiscated."
Lundyn's eyes roll to the ceiling as her head falls back into the mirror. "Dear lord Lo, you tased Jonathan's nuts for no reason", she pauses just a moment to sit up and look and me, "For no freaking reason."
My lips pucker out as I mindlessly play with the strings of my comfy, zebra print pajama bottoms, while I listen to the lies my best friend throws my way. "Best friend, he lied about me and him hooking up, remember?"
"Ha!" She hops down from the counter. "BFF, you did hook up with him." She says, then turns on the faucet.
"Well yeah, but I didn't want anyone to know, so he had it coming." I retort back, whose side is she on anyway. I told him that I would do something to him if he had ever blabbed that we hooked up at a party me and Maverick threw when my parents went out of town. Low and behold, the dumber than rocks idiot tried to call my bluff and so I had to deliver on my promise. The doctor says he is still able to have children so no long term harm came to him.
"Anyways." Lundyn says competing with the sound of running water. "Time to rinse." She bends over, cupping the warm water into her hands before splashing it against her face. I turn around and grab a dry towel from the rack so she will not drip water everywhere.
I intake a large gulp of shocked air when I turn back around to deposit the towel into her awaiting hand, "Holy shit." My eyes stretch to capacity in surprise as I look at my friend.
"What?" Her eyes search mine a moment, before placing her face in the towel, ridding it of the water. "Why are you looking at me like that?" Her voice muffled into the towel.
I don't answer her as I run to the sink, feverishly splashing my face with the warm water, hoping that my face doesn't bear the same fate as Lundy's. When I am done, I immediately look into the slightly fogged mirror and let out a shrill that should scare any wildlife we had within a hundred mile radius.
"Lo,we are fucking green!!" Lundyn declares with panic riding her voice. "Green!" I don't speak a single word, instead opting for my screams to serve as my only means of verbal communication. Not a second later, Lundyn joins my scream party, as we stare in the mirror at our reflections.
Our heads turn when a soft rap sounds at the door. "Lo, what's going on?" Mom asks through the door.
I swing it open, my face still damp from the water. "I'm the fucking Grinch, Mom!" My fingers make a circular motion around my dyed face, making sure she's actually seeing it.
Her petite hand splays across her chest, as her mouth parts slightly, not knowing exactly how to respond.
"We are freaking She Hulks." Lundyn cries stepping from behind me.
All the adults have made their way to our little soiree, and stare in a silent amazement at the person who freaking stole christmas - me. And the woman who's about to go all Hulk smash - Lundyn. My dad only shakes his head, and Finn's dad looks on unamused. Traitors. Finn's mom looks perplexed, or drunk I can't quite decipher which one at the moment.
Lundyn's mom grabs her pearls, as she examines our faces, a tiny smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. "Way for you girls to get into the Christmas spirit." She cheerfully says. No I take that back. Finn's mom isn't drunk, it's Mrs. B, she's apparently broken into the eggnog a little too early.
"MOM!" Lundyn yells, wiping the smile from her face. "Why on earth would we die our faces!" Her manic octave remaining present. Just as I am about to give Mrs. B a respectful tongue lashing, a set of snickers come from the back of the watch party and I know they can only belong to Dumb and Dumber - Maverick and Finn. They emerge from the shadows of hell and I waste no time throwing them my most hate filled glare as they emerge from the hallway with amusement frolicking around on their stupid faces.
"You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch." Finn with his shit eating grin sings out before doubling over in a fit of laughter.
I see red, I mean RED. A wild savage cry leaves my mouth as I lunge towards them only to be caught by my father who hauls me off kicking and screaming every obscenity under the sun. As I round the corner I give them one final warning. "You better be glad I don't have my taser!!!"
FINN
Google is the smartest motherfucker I know. A few clicks and the best prank of the year was born. Maverick ran into town to grab all the supplies we will need while I distracted my mom and Mrs. Strong with my charm and the knowledge of making my mom's world famous Christmas sugar cookies. Mr. Strong, however, watched me like a hawk. He's a smart man too, almost as smart as Google.
The girls have decided to give themselves facials. It's all they've been talking about since they found an avocado mask on YouTube. It was almost like they wanted us to prank them.
Once Maverick returns and the cookies are cooling, we put our plan into play. The girls mixed the mask last night to get it ready for today, so we swipe it from the fridge and begin our evil plan. Adding in some body lotion, cornstarch, water and green food coloring. We're careful not to make it too - this has been fucked with - green. Mixing it all back together and applying the lid - we wait.
By the time the last swipe of icing was applied, the best Jingle Bells remake I've ever heard, that I'm now calling Shrilling Bells sounds from upstairs. I nearly break my neck whipping up and around the stairs with Maverick hot on my heels.
It's all a blur of green, and honestly, I'm kinda turned on. That's halted when Mr. Strong holds back not one, of the two Grinch's, not allowing Harlow to release that crazy she keeps tucked back. The same thing that draws me to her like Santa to those damn sugar cookies. Sure, she'll probably one day give me a heart attack, but the first sweet taste of her just may be worth it - if she ever gives me a chance.
Prying my eyes off of Harlow, I'm met with a set of wild ones that belong to Lundyn, who has piggy backed onto Maverick while she pulls his hair, and lucky for me - her crazy is aimed at him.
"Alright!" My mom shouts and claps her hands together, clearly meaning business and we all pause and wait, "You little assholes need some Christmas cheer."
My body slacks and I throw my head back, really laying on the dramatics, "We can't."
"Why the hell not?" My dad booms from down the staircase and my mom eyes me - like she sees right through me. She did give birth to me, so she knows I'm always up to no good.
I stand up straight and point my finger at the mean green raging hater of all things Christmas, "Because Harlow stole Christmas!"
"Down stairs!" Mrs. Strong shouts at the same time my mom slaps the back of my head.
**
After walking around the woods for an hour, Maverick and my dad finally approve of a tree for us to cut down and get this shit - haul it back to the cabin while they follows us on the four wheelers. It's supposed to be a form of punishment, but Maverick and I take it like men. It's all worth seeing the girls faces green.
**
"Stop staring at me!" Lundyn throws an ornament at Mavericks face, he dodges it and bam - it hits me square in the cheek as Santa Claus is Coming To Town, sings through the speakers of the surround sound. Well, I hope he's marked Lundyn on his naughty list.
"We can't help it that we're curious. You never come out of your cave and yet, here you are." Maverick makes a show of his hands, presenting her like an unveiled new car.
"Can we just deck the halls and go our separate ways?" Lundyn fluffs the tree.
"These two National Lampoon wannabe's need to be taught a lesson." Harlow's angry voice causes my ears to perk up.
"When you girls think you can outsmart us, bring it!"I tug down on my Christmas shirt that says, 'I put out for Santa.' With a picture of cookies. Harlow stomps her socked foot and walks over to Lundyn, whispering what I can only assume is a plan to get back at us.
Maverick and I seem to be the only ones actually decorating the tree, which does make sense, since Harlow and Lundyn want to steal it. Rockin' around the Christmas Tree starts to play and I begin dancing around the girls, and the tree, causing them all to laugh. Although we fight like cats and dogs, we've all been friends for the majority of our lives and one day, maybe we'll grow out of it.
Yeah, probably not.
To learn more about the gang, check out Strong Hate on Amazon, FREE on KU. Strong Love releases 2/2/17. MERRY CHRISTMAS!