*Final chapter here guys. Yeah, I'm finishing this up pretty quickly. Here it is, I will leave warnings when things get a bit smutty so look out for them.*
Chapter 15:
Felix's P.O.V
I was shitting myself. Thankfully it wasn't literally, I was just terrified. I don't know what I'm doing. I was going, to have sex— with Jake, who is also a guy— who was also my lover and boyfriend. I have never truly considered doing this before today because I always kept on thinking that Jake's feelings were fake and that he didn't really love me, so why would I want to give myself to someone that doesn't truly love me, but now I know his feelings are real, so I want to give him all of me.
"Felix, are you sure you're sure about this?" I nodded and walked over to Jake, moving him to the bed. I pressed my lips to his. Jake responded lightly, slightly hesitant. Why was he being so careful like this? I frowned and pulled away from Jake.
"What are you doing?" Jake frowned in return,
"I don't understand what you're talking about." He was playing dumb. I growled and took a step away from Jake. We were still standing next to the bed. We didn't even make it to the bed, and he couldn't do it.
"Why aren't you being serious about this?!" My voice was slightly raised, and I was beginning to cry. "I love you so much, Jake! Yet you're doing this! I just want to be with you fully and you won't let us!" Jake growled, stepping over to me, grabbing my body and before I could react, he threw me onto the bed, pinning me under his body.
"Felix, I don't believe that you understand how much I want that too. But I'm scared." I froze. Wait, Jake Riles being scared of something— that wasn't good; what was he scared of?
"Why are you scared?" Jake frowned, tears coming to his eyes.
"I don't want to end up like our parents. I don't want us to be so in love, that when a family comes along, we don't rip it apart. My parents hate each other, your parents spend half their time yelling at one another and worrying constantly, they don't get a single second to breathe." I was shocked, to say the least,
"Jake—" Jake placed his lips on mine, pressing lightly. I responded but he pulled away too quickly,
"I don't want to hurt you, now, or in the future. Felix, you are my everything and if I could, I would mar— no, never mind. That's for another time." I cocked my head, what was he going to say?
"Jake, I-" Jake smiled down at me, his hand brushing my cheek lightly. I pressed my head closer to his hand, not wanting it to move away. I love you, Jake Riles, with everything that I could ever possibly give, and I swear we won't end up like either of our parents.
I wanted to say those words to him, but they couldn't escape my mouth, they were too scared to. I was too scared to. I don't want to be stuck in an infinite loop of fear with Jake. I want us to be able to break out of our bubble and be happy forever, but something came back to my mind.
"Jake?" I asked and Jake hummed in response. "You've considered us having a family?" As the second question left my mouth, Jake's face slowly but quickly turned red. He quickly climbed off of me and sat on the edge of my bed, his face in his hands. I laughed lightly and bit my lip. Why was he so cute?
"Please don't remind me that I said that." The words were mumbled, but I understood everything. I laughed and crawled over to Jake, throwing my arms around his shoulders, catching his attention. As soon as I was close enough, I pressed my lips to his ear,
"Don't worry, I want a family too." Well— I do now that Jake said he wanted one. Jake froze as if his breathing had completely stopped too. "Jake?" Suddenly Jake jumped and I was pinned to the bed again, lips roughly pressed against mine. I responded with thirst, my body completely craving Jake at this point.
"Are you sure you want to do this with me?" I nodded lightly as Jake pulled away, I looked at his face. He was tinged red and his skin was beginning to glisten with sweat. I nodded again and Jake nodded in returned, pulling off of me.
We sat up and Jake moved us to the top of the bed, where all my pillows remained in a mountain. Together we leant against the pillows and Jake looked at my face. I bit my lip as my face flushed. Why was he staring at me so intently? This gaze— it was powerful and beautiful. I pushed myself towards Jake, my feeling unable to hold themselves back.
Jake grinned and kissed me in return. Our lips moved, slowly gaining in speed. It felt weird, but I liked it! Jake's tongue slid out, tapping on my lips and before I could stop myself, my mouth opened and Jake's tongue slid in.
It was warm, and wet, and odd. I can't remember if we've ever kissed like this, and I don't know if I like it. Jake's tongue touched mine, and I moan escaped from low in my throat. Jake's hands began making their way under my clothes, his want hands making contact with my cold skin. My body jumped, pressing myself closer to Jake. God, I want this so much! I never realised that I wanted Jake like this before.
My hands made their way to Jake's flannel, and I began sliding it off of his shoulders. Jake leant up slightly, not breaking our lips as his flannel came off. It was weird, the thought of Jake not wearing his flannel but not being naked either. I didn't like that thought. Before I could stop myself, I was pushing Jake's shirt up and off over his head, forcing him to break the kiss.
"Felix— are you— okay?" My face flushed at the thought that I was able to make Jake out of breath.
"Yeah it's just— the thought of you without your flannel is weird. So the shirt had to go so it wasn't so weird." Jake sniggered, covering his mouth with one of the hands he had removed from my body.
"Are you serious?" I nodded and Jake laughed, suddenly pulling me close, pressing his forehead to mine, "Felix— you are the most adorable little thing I have ever met." I flushed and Jake pressed his lips back to mine. I groaned and I began working on removing my jacket and shirt so that I matched Jake.
I suddenly felt self-conscious. I don't think that Jake has seen me without a shirt for a long time. Jake broke our kiss and looked down at my body. My eyes widened and I grabbed his face, pulling his head back up to meet my eyes.
"Please— I don't want— I can't—" Jake nodded and wrapped his arms around my body.
"Is because of everything that you've done to yourself over the years?" I nodded and Jake sighed. "Do you want us to stop?" I shook my head, of course, I don't want us to stop. It was too hard to convince him to even do it.
"NO! I just— just don't look at me? Look at my face?" Jake smiled lightly at me. I'm so happy he understands. Jake pressed his lips back to mine, and we continued kissing again. I was still so scared that he was going to look, but I trusted him.
Jake's hands slid all over my skin and chest, familiarising himself with it, causing my cheeks to redden with heat. This sensation was amazing, my brain couldn't even concentrate on the fact the Jake could feel every bad thing about me, the feeling of Jake's rough hands on my skin was too much stimulation.
A heat in my pants continued to grow the more we kissed, the more Jake felt. Courage welled up inside of me, and my hands moved to Jake's chest, touching him lightly. Jake jumped at the feeling of my cold hands, well, either I'm cold or Jake is just really warm.
*⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠This is where it starts!!! If you do not wish to read this, skip to the next one of these. You can't skip the rest of the chapter as it contains the ending for this story. SKIP TO THE NEXT AUTHORS NOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠*
"Felix?" I hummed in response, causing Jake to groan and grip my body tighter. "Can we do more?" Was he asking to make sure I was alright? I nodded lightly and Jake's hands moved to my pants, sitting on the front of them. Instantly, I knew he could feel me. my face flushed and I pulled away from Jake's face, covering myself face with my hands. I groaned and Jake laughed,
"Don't laugh! It's not funny," Jake laughed again. He was so bright, I loved it.
"No, no, it's just— your reaction to it is adorable." I groaned again, covering as much of my face as I possibly could.
"Shuddap. Just— just do it." I kept my face covered. It was mostly to distract myself. I didn't want Jake looking at my body, but how do I know if he's doing it when I can't see him— that works— right?
"Felix, you're beautiful. You know that right." I growled but I didn't respond. How the fuck am I supposed to respond—
"Ahh!" I was cut off by Jake suddenly placing his hands on me. Jake's hands were swift to undo my button and zip. I wasn't looking, but the sounds were too weird, too different, too— addictive.
"Lift your bottom half." I nodded, not sure if Jake could even see me. I pressed my feet and shoulders into the bed, lifting my stomach and butt off of the bed. I felt my pants slide down to my knees. My body jolted back down into the bed when a kiss was placed on my navel.
"J-Jake— w-what a-are—?" Jake sniggered slightly and I leant up, hitting him on the head lightly. He grabbed my wrist and his pushed me back down, leaning on the side of my body as his lips pressed back to mine.
I didn't want to kiss him back, but it was too nice. His lips were like smelling your favourite flowers every morning, even if everyone else hates them, or watching your favourite T.V over and over again, or re-reading a book your read five times in the last month, and you end up quoting it word for word, but you still cry at the end. It was a weird kind of addictive.
My lips began moving against Jake's again and his tongue slipped back into my mouth, mixing with my tongue. Damn, I never knew kissing could be so messy. We were still kissing slowly, but with every tongue twist, our saliva would mix, and it didn't weird me out, which I think was nice.
"Nng." I broke our kiss when I felt Jake's hand on my front, on top of my boxers which still remained on so I had some dignity. "J-Jake—" Jake pulled away from me again and finished pulling my pant from my legs before returning back to my head.
"You are far more beautiful that you think you are, Felix. Please don't ever believe that you are ugly." A small, choked noise escaped my throat. How does he know how to say the right words to get into my head and fix everything?
"You're the one that's amazing, Jake. You being able to say a few words and I'm falling for you all over again. I'm lucky to have you." Jake smiled and pressed his lips back to me, one of his hands wrapped around me, the other dipping into the front of my boxers.
"Gah!" The more Jake and I kissed, and the more he explored my body, the more sounds escaped me.
One of my hands was sitting, wrapped slightly around Jake while the other gathered up the courage and moved to the front of Jake's pants, dipping in the front. Jake groaned lightly, his hand halting on me before he continued again.
"Feli— Felix. Can you— take them off?" My heart wanted to leap out of my throat at those words, but if I didn't do it, there was no use continuing was there?
I moved the hands that were sitting wrapped around Jake and moved it to assist the other in undoing Jake's pants. He wasn't reacting to my hands, but I guess he was better at controlling his emotions, whereas I was just a wreck. Once the button and zip were undone, I slipped the pants down slightly, but I couldn't get them off in this position.
Jake pulled himself away from me and began taking his pants off himself, all while keeping eye contact with me. Every few seconds I would break the eye contact, and I would look down at Jake's hands taking his pants off. Why was it so hot? I threw my head back into my pillows and Jake laughed again,
"Don't worry, Felix. We'll get there eventually. Just you wait." My face flushed and I groaned covering my face with my hands again. Warm hands gripped my hips and I jumped slightly, not expecting it.
I looked up to see Jake was down near my legs, staring intently at my privates. I groaned and looked away again. Why the fuck does he look so interested in my privates? Oh yeah, because he is about to fuck me— and that's where he is going to do it. Wait, does he even know how to do it?
"Jake— do you even know what you're doing?" Jake looked up at me and smiled smugly,
"Felix, you know that I have liked you for several months now right?" I nodded slowly, wondering where this conversation was going and Jake smirked,
"So what do you think a teenage boy would do with his spare time, thinking about doing dirty things with the one he loves?" My eyes widened and I flipped myself over, shoving my face into the pillows. I don't ever want to come out of here. That was just too awkward. I mean, sure, I wanted to know, but now I think I didn't want to know.
"Jake, that it just— that's too awkward," I muttered lowly into the pillows when a huge weight landed on top of me,
"Sorry, what was that? I didn't quite hear you from down by your di—" I growled lowly, cutting Jake off. I was about to respond when I froze. Jake was laying on top of me, and I felt something press into me, right on my ass. Oh god, that was his— I cried out and buried myself even deeper. What are these feelings welling up inside of me?!
Jake's climbed off of me and laid next to me, placing his head right next to mine. I pulled my head out from the pillows, my hair going into my eyes, irritating me. Jake's hand reached up and brushed my hair out of the way, stopping it from irritating me. Jake leant in and pressed his lips against mine for a split second.
"Everything okay for you?" I nodded lightly.
"I guess. What do we do?" My face turned beet at my question and Jake smiled.
"I think it might be best if I just do it, instead of telling you. I get the feeling you might overreact." I stopped freaking out internally and pondered for a bit. Yeah, he's right— I do tend to overreact.
"Sounds good." Jake nodded and sat up as I rolled myself back over, exposing my front to Jake.
Jake made his way back down to my legs and slipped his hands into the sides of my boxers, tugging on them slightly. I lifted my hips and squeezed my eyes shut as my final piece of clothing was gone. I was completely exposed to Jake, and it made me want to crawl in a hole and die, I don't care if I'm naked.
"Beautiful." How can he say that? Embarrassment didn't take me over, disgust did. My body was horrible, how could he call it beautiful? I was horrible, I was covered in scars, left, right and centre. My skin was pale and scarred, ribs were visible enough to count each one and there were still some slightly fresh cuts, scattered on my body from the last time I cut.
"Jake—" Before I could say anything else, Jake cut me off. By touching me. "Hhn!" Jake's hand made its way to my front and grabbed me before I could say anything back about myself.
"You are not ugly. You turned yourself into a work of art, and you don't like your result in the race, but I like it. It shows that you are human, and you feel pain. It shows that you don't take care of yourself enough, but there's someone here for that now. You have me. everything you don't believe you can do by yourself, I will be there for you no matter what. Okay?" I nodded light as tears filled my eyes. Why does he have to do so many things that alter the way I've thought for so many years, with only a few words?
"I love you, Jake." Jake's hand moved on me more and I groaned, a heat beginning to form in my body. Jake's hand felt amazing, and to be honest, I never thought that I would feel like this.
I felt horrible and there was an odd pain in my heart. I felt like I don't deserve Jake and that he should be with someone less damaged. But then there's a side of me, a side that wants to keep him all to myself. I want to lock him away and never let anyone ever see him again. I want to keep him safe because he makes me feel beautiful, and I like that.
"Felix." My body began tensing as an odd feeling stirred in my body. Something warm touched the side of my hip and I looked to see Jake's head, kissing my hips and pelvic bone. That and Jake's hand was too much, I wasn't used to this. The feeling in the body skyrocketed and I climaxed before I even really knew what was happening.
"Nng!" Something warm landed on my stomach and hips and I looked to see Jake had pulled away from my hip and was staring at my face, which was beginning to sweat. Jake smirked and leaning up, he began licking my release before I could react. My eyes widened and before I could react, I was already hard again. Why was Jake so erotic?
"You okay?" I nodded, swallowing loudly. This was weird, but it was nice. Was this what being in a relationship was like? Damn, I should have tried this sooner. But— what's next? "Can we move on?" I nodded lightly, wanting to know what was next, but at the same time, I didn't. I heard a crack and I lifted my head to see Jake holding a bottle of something in his hands.
"What's that?" Jake laughed at me, hiding the bottle behind himself.
"For now, you don't need to know. I'll tell you after." I frowned but laid back down. It wasn't that I was scared, I just— I mostly wanted this to last forever and to never end. The real stuff hasn't even started yet I was acting like this. God, am I lame or what?
"Ahh!" I squealed out when something warm but cold touched my butt.
"Felix, you need to relax. It will be too hard for you if you tense up." I frowned. He was asking me to relax when he was about to shove something unknown to me up my asshole? Gah! This boy was irritating! I closed my eyes and set my body back into the bed, taking my thoughts from what Jake was doing now, and returning to what Jake did previously.
My stomach suddenly felt weird, like something was inside when it shouldn't be. I lifted my head, but I couldn't see anything, but that was when something moved. I groaned. I couldn't tell if that was painful or not.
"Felix, do you know what I'm doing?" I shook my head, my voice refusing to work as whatever Jake was putting inside of me, kept on moving in and out in a rhythm. "That's my finger." I wanted to scream, but the most I got out was a little gasp as Jake hit something inside of me, that caused me to jump.
"Nng! Ahh!" Something bigger entered me, and I still couldn't react to Jake telling me that his finger was inside of me a few seconds ago. What was it now?
"I've put three fingers now." What?! I wanted to scream, but something inside of me kept on being hit, and it kept on cutting me off. Noises escaping from me before I could stop them.
"J-J-Ja-ke—" I could barely choke out Jake's name as I felt the same feeling as before building up in me. Suddenly, everything was gone. Jake's fingers, the feeling of something inside of me being hit, and the feeling of release. Something bigger suddenly began entering me, and I cried out in pain. Jake's arms clung to my body, holding me still as I unconsciously tried to move away from whatever was entering me now.
"Felix, you need to hold still. This is it. Just— just push through it." I stopped moving and I nodded. This was it. Jake and I were having sex, and it wasn't as bad as I thought. Jake moved suddenly and slammed his body into me and groaned in pain. My stomach felt full and my lower half felt quite weird.
"J-Jake—" I didn't know what to say. I pulled Jake's head from the mattress up to mine, placing my lips against his, I pressed my tongue into his mouth, and it was as if Jake had woken from a sleep. He instantly began pressing himself in and out of me. Each movement caused a different reaction in me. Sometimes it was painful, sometimes it was so good I thought I would black out.
"F-Felix—" Jake groaned out my name and it spurred my body. My legs moved and wrapped around Jake's waist atop of me while my arms wrapped around Jake's neck, holding him close to me. Jake's lips split from mine and he began kissing my neck.
My body was heating up, and I couldn't control it. I didn't want to slow down, I wanted to speed up. Every one of Jake's thrusts was hitting a spot that made me cry out every time it was touched. I wanted more,
"M-more— J-Jake—" Jake nodded from the crook of my neck and began pressing into my harder, my cries coming out louder than before.
"I'm c-close," Jake grunted to me and I nodded. I'm okay with that. My body clung tighter to Jake as the same feeling from before built in me again. My body tensed and Jake groaned, slamming into even harder than before. I cried out as the sudden pain pushed overboard and I was drowning in pleasure. I came before I could stop myself, and as I did, something warm filled me up inside and I knew Jake did too.
I unhooked my limbs from Jake and he laid down next to me, the both of us panting like crazy. I looked at Jake, who was staring at me, his face covered in sweat and was red. I laughed at him slightly before moving over and snuggling up to him.
*⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠THIS IS THE END OF ALL THE SHITTY SEX THAT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO WRITE!!! I NEVER REALISED IT WOULD BE THAT HARD TO WRITE!!! Anyways, read from here onwards. Enjoy!⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠⚠*
"That— was amazing." It was hot, and I was out of breath, but I wanted to be near Jake. Jake nodded, agreeing with me.
"Yeah. It was different to what I thought I would be." I laughed, my eyes drifting shut. Before I knew it, I was asleep.
When I woke, Jake's loud snores filled my ears and I wanted to laugh. When I gathered the energy, I opened my eyes to find Jake's naked chest right in front of my eyes. Still as hot as I remember.
I began rolling myself over when a slight pain jolted through my lower half, and my memory recalled everything that happened last night. Oh god— I finally had sex with Jake. It actually happened. I turned my head back to Jake, who was sleeping soundly, well— sorta, he was sleep talking.
"Felix— marry me." I froze, wait for what? Suddenly words flew into my head from last night.
'Felix, you are my everything and if I could, I would mar— no, never mind—' Oh god— that's what he was going to say earlier. He was going to say he would marry me. My hands covered my mouth to stop a scream from escaping me.
Did I even want to marry Jake? I mean, he was my everything, but it's just I don't— I don't know how to be someone good enough to marry. I groan came from next to me, and I turned back to see Jake, slowly beginning to wake up. I moved back to him, and he hugged me tightly.
"Jake?" I asked and the giant groaned in response. "Can you open your eyes?" He groaned,
"Just a sec. I wanna— I'm in bed in this dream, in my mind." I smirked, leaning onto Jake slightly, our naked bodies pressing together causing me to blush,
"And what dream is that, Jake?" Jake smiled, humming lightly,
"Hmm, one where we had sex for the first time, and when we woke up, I proposed to you— and you said— yes," I smirked,
"Well, what if I did say yes." Jake's body tensed and the smile on his face disappeared. His eyes shot open and he looked to me.
"Did we actually?" I nodded, a smirk on my face, "And did I—?" I nodded again,
"Indirectly propose to me? Yes, yes you did. And also, I am saying yes." Jake's eye widened and he stared at me in shock.
"Are you serious?" I nodded, leaning on Jake's chest, staring at his face.
"Yeah, I am. But— you will have to ask me properly in a few years. For now, it's unofficial, but we are engaged. No ring or gay doesn't matter to me." We did it again after that. It was one of the best days of my life. Well, so far. I'm still waiting for the rest of everything to happen.
*Okay, so this is it. I decided to finish it up with this chapter so it's kinda perfect. Jake and Felix have their first time and then everything finishes itself up in the epilogue. I'll finish the epilogue up in a little bit and upload it after that, but aside from that. Jake and Felix's story is finished and this leaves an opening for a new one. I am considering writing a new type of book, but it won't be up until all of it is finished. It's going to be sort of like a... make your own story. Sort of like the goosebumps books, pick your own ending. So, we can look forward to that. Anyway, have a good one since I won't chuck a note on the epilogue so, until next time my little Fires!*