"Sophie, where are you?"
"I'm in the bedding department. Where are you?"
"In the kitchen department."
"That's silly. What are you doing down there when I'm up here?"
"I think the question is, what are you doing up there when I'm down here?"
"I'm looking at bedding. It tends to be the kind of thing that you do when you're, you know, in the bedding department."
"Yes, but only a moment ago you were stood next to me. Now you've gone."
"I left ten minutes ago."
"You did?"
"You were too engrossed by the coffee machine to notice."
"It was a great coffee machine."
"Naturally."
"Are you coming back down?"
"Nope. Are you coming back up?"
"No, I've just seen a juicer."
"You're choosing a juicer over me?"
"No, I'm choosing a juicer over bedding."
"..."
"Oh, that reminds me, did you get a hold of Charlotte?"
"How did talking about a juicer remind you of my sister?"
"She makes the best fresh orange juice I've ever tasted. So sweet. So, did you?"
"Did I, what?"
"Hear from her?"
"Oh, yeah. I spoke to her earlier. Why?"
"Did she tell you what happened between her and Fletch?"
"Wait, what happened between her and Fletch?"
"That's what I'm trying to work out. He's being very quiet about it all."
"As is Charlotte."
"Why do you think that is?"
"Who knows. Charlotte's been weird for a while when it comes to Fletch. Have you noticed how she only ever calls him Isaac? That's so strange."
"His name is Isaac, you know."
"Yeah, I know, but it's still odd."
"True. I think they're secretly dating but they're scared to tell us. Or rather, they're scared to tell you."
"Me?! Why would they be scared of telling me?!"
"Because you'll go berserk."
"I would not-"
"Really, Soph?"
"Really. Honestly."
"Swear on your life?"
"I swear on my life."
"You swear on my life?"
"Uh, yours?"
"Yes."
"Well, I mean..."
"You would totally hit the roof."
"I would be displeased."
"Displeased?"
"It means-"
"I know what it means, Sophie."
"Good because it would have been horrible if I had to explain it to you."
"Gee, thanks."
"But, no, Charlotte is keeping schtum on what they got up to. I'm equally displeased about that. Honestly, I take her to the country, show her my wedding venue, you spring a surprise house on me and that bitch still ditched me to go for a cheap lunch with that Kangaroo boy."
"Fletch just laughed when I called him to see what was going on."
"There must be a way to get them to talk."
"You could get them drunk."
"No! No more alcohol. I'd never been that hungover before. And it wasn't even worth it! The boring one won the show."
"Diddums."
"I know!"
"Better luck next year. Now, Charlotte and Fletch- what are we going to do about that?"
"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that? You were the one that was all for having them having a meaningless hook-up."
"I've changed my mind since then. The more I think of it, I think I had it all wrong. Fletch won't be the one that hurts Charlotte, but rather, she'll be the one that ends up hurting him."
"Charlotte will hurt Fletch?"
"He's surprisingly very emotional."
"Fletch?"
"I told you it was surprising."
"I don't believe you. Plus, Charlotte- the new Charlotte- could hardly hurt a fly, let alone a brute like Fletch. I think his fragile heart will be fine."
"Haha, ok."
"Whatever. Ar you coming up to the bedding now?"
"No. Are you coming down to the small kitchen appliances now?"
"Nope."
"Well, ok, then. I'll meet you at the tills on the middle floor in about an hour."
"Ok."
"And, Soph?"
"Yes, Daniel?"
"Don't go spending crazy amounts of money on furniture and bedding and whatnot. Just because we've finally got the country house sorted, it doesn't mean that you need to go overboard with decorating it."
"I would never go overboard with decorating it!"
"I mean it, Soph. If you turn up at the tills with thousands of pounds worth of stuff, I'll make you walk back around the shop, replacing everything. Got it?"
"Got it."
"Brilliant. See you in an hour."
"See you in an hour."
"I love you."
"I love you, too."