❝ LITTLE PIG, LITTLE PIG
LET ME IN ❞
—
The feeble girl sat at the edge of her bed, legs mounted on the wall, crossed. Despite how uncomfortable she was, she continued to lay upside down, with her head dangling off the bedside. In her hands she held a dilapidated, dusty poetry book that she'd received as a present on her eleventh birthday. She remembered opening it as a child, staring at it in sheer amazement but not being able to understand a single word of it. Now, as a twenty year old, she was so fascinated by the printed words on the yellowing pages that she barely recognized the numbness developing in her legs.
She laid undisturbed for days after the tragic demise of Abraham and Glenn. It had been almost a week. She had on a dimly lit bedside light, and only left the room if she needed food or water. Thankfully, she had a private bathroom. Beside her bed laid countless amounts of novels that she had already finished reading during her stay at Alexandria. Never getting to see Jesus, she forced herself to reread all of her old books. She was much too scared to leave the walls of Alexandria again, although the likiness of her running into Negan again was slim, she assumed her dad was already disappointed enough.
She had barely slept for the five days after the incident. She had bags under her bloodshot eyes and her whole body continued to shake, making it difficult to read the pages of her novel. Every night she found herself dozing off, only to be abruptly waken up by either dreams of that disturbance, or visions of Abraham and Glenn's battered heads on the dirt road.
Every time she closed her eyes, she saw the gory, brutal reality of what had happened. It was inescapable. So she kept her eyes wide open, fixated on poetry and things that made her feel relaxed. As relaxed as she could get, at least.
They had taken Daryl. She thought maybe if they hadn't taken him, he would be the only one she could talk to about what happened. He would forgive her for sneaking out of walls and running into Negan that morning. He wouldn't blame her for what happened. But he was gone, and she didn't even know if he was dead or alive anymore.
She decided to close her book, unable to focus anymore. She turned off her beside light and sat in complete darkness, the only source of light being the streams of the rising sun peaking through her curtains. She pressed her back to the wall, her legs hugging up against her chest. Her chin rested on her knee caps, fingers playing with her small toes. She turned to her record player and played an old, soft Elvis tune to try and take her mind off of things.
Suddenly there was a soft knock on the door. She didn't respond, wanting nothing more than to be left alone. The doorknob wiggled as she squirmed in her seat.
"Vada, honey, open up," It was her father. He had tried a couple days ago to visit, but Vada was much too shaken at that point to even look at anybody. She bit her lip, contemplating opening to door to let him in.
She decided she'd stayed cramped up in that dark room for too long. She needed to stay strong like everybody else. She got up and trudged towards the door, weakly turning the lock to let him in. The door knob opened and he walked in, concern written all over his face.
She sat back down on the bed and fixated her eyes on the floor. Rick stayed frozen in the doorway, staring sympathetically at his weak and broken daughter.
"You don't need to do this to yourself, Vada," He spoke softly, not wanting to raise his voice too loud, aware that she hadn't spoken to anybody in days.
She said nothing.
"I'm not mad at you," He inched towards her and warily sat down on the bed, placing his hand on top of hers.
"Why not?" She spoke quietly.
"You're not the reason they died," His jaw clenched, "Whether or not you had snuck out, it would have ended the same way. He is the reason Abraham and Glenn are gone, he will always be the reason. Don't blame yourself for this."
She hadn't thought about it like that.
Rick continued, "You were just unlucky enough to meet him before everybody else."
She lifted her head and stared into her father's eyes. "You're right."
She brought him in for a hug, her head nuzzled into his shoulder. They stayed like that for a couple seconds, before Vada pulled away.
"I never thought I would run into anybody, let alone him," She sighed, "I just wanted to read. It's peaceful out there in the woods. I don't expect you to understand."
"I do," He nodded, "I know you can keep yourself safe, I've seen you in action."
She laughed and was about to bring him back in for another hug when the door swung open, cutting them off from their conversation. It was Olivia, a shaken look on her face. Vada's heart started to pound rapidly, afraid of another death, or worse.
"Rick, h-he's here, he's early," She stuttered. She stood to the side of the doorway to let Rick through.
The father looked at his fragile daughter. "Stay here, don't leave this room."
She nodded and pulled back into her former sitting position, knees against her chest and her back against the wall. The thought of Negan being in the same small town as her, the only place she was truly safe, sent shivers down her spine.
The door closed and she was left in complete darkness once again. The record continued to play, making an eerie scratching noise every few moments. The images of that night flooded her mind once more. She picked up her book and shone a flashlight on it.
She didn't know how much time had passed. It could have been an hour or two. She finished her book and placed it gently by her bed side. By that point, she was much more calm than she had been when her father left.
Inside the house, she heard a loud stentorian voice, but she couldn't make out what it was saying. She knew who it was. Negan. She could hear her father's voice as well. She crept out of her room for the first time in days, making sure the door didn't creak on her way out. She approached the stairs, quietly, and peered over the edge to see her father talking to Negan, a baseball bat slung over his leather covered shoulder. The image reminded her of the weapon slamming down beside her, blood splattering on her face as she kept her hand interlocked with Abraham's. She ducked down, trying to compose herself before she peeked back over. She could now hear what they were saying.
"Daryl and I have been havin' the time of our lives over at the sanctuary."
Her heartbeat quickened, wanting nothing more than to run down and hug him, to see his face. She was much too scared to do that.
There was a dark chuckle, followed by silence.
"Now, where's that daughter of yours? I'd love to see her."
Her heart stopped. She ducked back down behind the edge of the staircase, not wanting to be seen by the man. Rick didn't respond, but stood there silently, hoping he would let it go.
She heard his loud boots walk slowly towards her father, "I asked you a question."
"She's asleep," He breathed.
"Bullshit, bring me to her."
It took a moment, but she soon heard footsteps coming from below her. They reached the stairs, pounding with each step as they made their way upstairs
Vada ran to her room, making sure each step she took was as quiet as the one before. She shut the door behind her, not locking it, and covered herself in her comforter, making sure to turn off every light that was previously on. The door opened, she could tell because of the creaking and the light shining through.
"Well shit, you weren't lying," She could hear his close proximity. She opened her eyes and sat up arubtly, acting surprised to see him. Negan stood with a look of sheer amusement. He handed his barbed covered baseball bat over to the girl's father.
"D-dad, what's he doing here?" She stuttered, pulling the blanket up to cover her chest although she was fully clothed.
"Miss me?" He smirked. Rick gave her an apologetic look.
She then saw Daryl in the doorway. She jumped up, ran to him and indulged him in a hug. She stroked his long, greasy hair. He smelt vile, like he hadn't showered in days. She didn't care. She just wanted to enjoy his presence.
"Hey, hey," Negan stuck his hand out, "Did I say you could do that? No. I told you, Daryl. I told you not to touch, speak or even look at anybody. Didn't I tell you?"
Vada rolled her eyes as her head rested on his shoulder. She pulled back and looked down at him. He was wearing an oversized, dirt covered sweatshirt that had a large A written on it.
She gave him a solicitous side glance, then turned to Negan, heated.
"What do you want?" She clenched her jaw, angrily.
"Woah," he chuckled deeply, "I just want to have a nice, civilized conversation. How about we go for a walk, huh?"
He raised his eyebrows and smiled, getting only a sinister glare in return. He chuckled and shook his head before strolling out of the room.
Vada turned to her father and shrugged. A look of despair crept upon her face.
She followed Negan out of the room and down the stairs. They walked side by side into the cool breeze.
She could tell the whole town was on edge from their surprise visit; usually there was tons of socializing going on in the small town of Alexandria. It was always a warm, welcoming environment. However, as the two strolled down the street, she took into notice that there was nobody outside. All those that were usually active members of Alexandria were now locked away in their homes, awaiting the hour Negan left in his black truck with all of his men.
The only people that roamed the streets of Alexandria anymore were his people. The ones that came to take all of their supplies.
They sauntered side by side silently for quite a while. Vada had nothing to say to him. She was afraid of him.
"So how has life been, Lo?" He crossed his arms and let out a hearty laugh.
"I wouldn't know," Her face remained emotionless, her lips formed a thin line.
"The hell is that supposed to mean?"
He still held the same amused expression.
"It means I haven't talked to anybody. It's been boring. Quiet."
"Well, that's your fault, isn't it?" He grinned.
Vada looked up at him from under her eyelashes, her eyes narrowed. God, how she hated that man. She wanted to reach up and strangle him, but she saw his capabilities, the night with Abraham and Glenn. If it were to be anybody else, they would have been dead before they even had the chance to glance at her family.
"What's your real name, sweetheart?" He gazed down at the small, fuming girl.
"If I tell you, will you stop calling me Lolita?" She spat, "It's disgusting."
"Well shit, you have a big fucking mouth for such a tiny girl," He laughed jovially, "Deal."
"Vada," He stroked his black and grey, hay textured beard. He seemed to be thinking. His lips curved upwards. "Are you and Daryl doin' it?"
She paused, "What?"
"I mean, are two gettin' it on, cause I couldn't help but notice how close you-"
She cut him off, angry, "No, asshole."
His eyebrows raised, surprised. He put his hands up in defence. "Don't need to get all hostile with me, was just asking a simple question."
Her cheeks were red with a mixture of anger and embarrassment. She hated looking at him. She hated being in his sheer presence.
"Are we done here?" She clenched her jaw and peered over at Daryl and Rick who were standing side by side in the distance, staring at them.
She looked up at him. He inched towards her, making her coward backward.
He bit his tongue, "Are you afraid of me?"
She hesitated, not knowing how to respond. She was. But why would she voluntarily feed his ego?
"I'm not scared of anything."
It was true – before he came around. She would climb the walls, kill walkers, people. After, she realized there were people bigger and stronger than her – Negan. Some that had many capabilities. She realized that there were things she should be fearing, after all.
"Wow," He shook his head, impressed, "You are fucking badass, aren't you?"
She stayed silent.
"I like you," The grin on his face grew wider, "In fact, I like you so much that I want you all to myself."
Her heart stopped. She hoped he didn't mean what she thought he meant. She refused to make eye contact, afraid to show weakness. So, she kept her eyes locked on Daryl and Rick.
She felt a strand of hair sweep behind her ear, soft fingers stroking her skin.
"Let's make a deal," He spoke, leaning close to her ear, "You come with me, back to The Sanctuary, and I'll make sure Daryl gets wonderful treatment. I'm sure he'd be ecstatic to be greeted with a nice, warm homemade sandwich instead of the dog food we've been feeding him. Don't you think?"
Her eyes shot up at him. She pondered on the idea. She thought about Daryl alone, in pain eating dog food for lunch. She would do anything to keep Daryl safe – but this?
"You asshole," She spat.
"Hey, I'm just trying to make a deal here, take it or leave it," He shrugged, grinning.
She stayed silent for a moment.
"I-I'll come with you if you let Daryl stay," She spoke quietly. The dirty, rough redneck man stared at her from a distance. He had no idea what they were talking about.
"No can do, sweetheart, I call the shots around here," He lifted his hands and shrugged his shoulders, "If you come, maybe I'll spare his fucking life."
Her breathing got heavy, her eyes rimmed with tears. She blinked them away. Suddenly the dirt became very interesting to her, as she refused to take her eyes off of it. He leaned in closer, his hot breathe on her cheek. She saw the men in the distance tense up.
"I'll give you until four to decide what the fuck you're doing. If you're not at the gates, I'll take it as a no, and Daryl may or may not be here to greet you next time," His grin was wicked, sickening. As he walked away from her, she didn't hesitate to let the tears fall. She walked over to a large oak tree and sat with her back against the trunk.
Before the sobbing girls father could reach her, she had already decided on her fate. She was going to give it all up. She was going to do it for Daryl.