CHAPTER ONE: THEN: BECK
I was twelve and dead set on making the cross country team in seventh grade when my scrawny legs carried me through the woods each day slowly building more muscle. One day I saw him from a distance. Tall and skinny, but slightly built, I could tell he was handsome with high cheekbones and shaggy dark chocolate hair. Crouching slowly I hid behind a bush so he wouldn’t see me; I watched him as he strummed his guitar and sang quietly. My legs grew tired so I sat down behind the bush which now blocked my view. I didn’t care. I’m not sure how long I sat there listening to him sing The Beatles which he strummed into Nirvana and topped it off with some All Time Low. His eyes closed he sang soul gripping ballads, stood up and danced to mainstream pop songs, and head banged to hardcore scream-o and good old fashion rock’n’roll. This boy had talent. Every morning after that I waited until the end of my run to go visit the boulder and listen to him play. Hiding behind the bush I knew this boy had God given talent.
June turned into July, and July, August and soon I was with my mom at Target shopping for school supplies. Going shopping for school supplies always put me in a good mood. In a few weeks I would get a fresh start to school, making new friends and seeing old ones. A chance to reinvent myself and put the past behind, seventh grade would be my year. After running all summer I was sure to star in track and cross country and recently I had gotten my braces off. After a new haircut along with my new wardrobe curtsy of Urban Outfitters, Forever 21, and Top Shop my seventh grade self was convinced she would have the school year of her life. When my new school supplies were tucked safely away in the back of the car, my mom drove me to the salon.
“Hey!” Roberto exclaimed, his voice sounding like one big exclamation point. “I can’t wait to cut your beautiful hair! What should we do today? Colour? Layers? Perm?”
“I don’t care Roberto.” I giggled, his excitement growing on me. “Just make it dramatic!”
One Shampooing, a lot of hair on the floor, and two hours later Roberto spun me around in the chair. “What do you think Darling?” He demanded. “Dramatic enough for you?”
My Jaw dropped to the floor. Surly this reflection wasn’t mine? My long blonde hair was now just above my shoulders. Blunt bangs framed my heart shaped face and highlighted my cheekbones. Finally I allowed myself to focus on the colour. My sun kissed yellow locks were now a deep, deep red.
“Red.” I stuttered. “My blonde hair is red.”
“You don’t like it.” Roberto wailed, obviously hurt.
“No. No. It’s not that.” I backtracked quickly. “I love it. It’s very…….Dramatic! It’s just so different. I need time to get used to the new me!”
“Fabulous!” He smiled. “You are gorgeous! Now just wait till those seventh grade boys see you now.”
I woke up at seven the first day of school. I decided to skip my run because although I wanted to see Guitar Guy, I needed to get ready for school. Exhausted I went through the motions of getting ready. Straighten Hair. Check. Get dressed. Check. Eat breakfast. Check. Get my backpack. Check. Eventually I was ready to walk to the bus stop but when I got there my heart jumped just as it does every time I see him. He was there waiting for the middle school bus just like me. Up close I couldn’t help but notice his eyes were a sexy mint green. Green eyes are my weakness. I stood and talked to my friend Kimberly until the bus arrived. As we slid into the middle in our seventh grade spots I immediately pulled out my Walkman and started listening to a mix cd I had burned that night just for the occasion. Facing the window, I mouthed the lyrics and tapped my fingers to the beat impatiently waiting for the bus to arrive at Pool Middle School. As the bus bumped along the winding roads I couldn’t help but notice him. Guitar Guy was sitting two rows in front of me with his iPod drumming his fingers on the front of the seat in front of him. His face wore an uninterested expression and I couldn’t help but notice that he was wearing a Sublime shirt. That alone was reason enough for me to have a crush on him. I tried not to stare and started singing under my breath to the Wombats song blasting through my headphones.
Class after Class the day sped by and when I finally arrived home the memory of the day was blurry. Attempting to remember new names and faces and trying to find my new classes my brain was dead.
“How was your first day?” My mother questioned as I walked through the door.
“I hardly remember.” I responded wearily. “It was fun but very long! How was yours?”
“I was nervous for you! It was a hard day for me too!”
“Thanks mom. Do you mind if I go upstairs now?” I asked.
“Not at all honey, get some rest you have a full week of school ahead of you!”
“Ugh!” I groaned and trudged up the stairs taking them two at a time. Finally When I got to my room I collapsed on my bed and tried to remember the day. All that came to mind were those green eyes.
Great. I thought. I’m depressed over some guy who doesn’t like me and it’s the first day of school! I need to forget about him and focus on more important things. I made this vow thinking it would be easy to keep but it turns out that wasn’t true.
Cross Country Practice started the next day and I woke up extra early so I could run in the woods to warm up. After running a quick mile, I ended up at my bush. Today’s the day I thought as I took a deep breath and ran by his rock. Keeping my pace even I ran by and tried not to stare. I allowed myself a quick glance but he didn’t even notice me. His eyes squeezed shut I could hear him singing quietly,
“You see this world has lots to offer
But in time it will go dark,
And if this love is what we say it is
I'm sure we will go far
And with a girl as sweet as you
There's not much else I can do
But fall for you”
Concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other, my heart pounded. I have to know his name. This thought implanted my brain and took hold, making itself at home. That day at school I realized we had the same lunch. My friend Garrison was sitting at his table so I poked him to gain his attention.
“Garrison!” I whisper-shouted.
“What?” He groaned in fake annoyance.
“Come here! Do you know the guy in the Beatles shirt? He’s really cute! And his choice in bands makes him so much cuter!”
“Really?” He said, the smile hidden in his voice. “I think he’s new but I’m not sure let me ask.”
“Wait!” I protested but it was too late, he had already headed over there. I saw him smile at the guy and heard him introduce himself. Then I saw him looked towards me and felt the blood rush into my face.
“This is my friend Beck.” He said simply but I knew that he was trying not to crack up.
“Hi!” I squeaked, crossing my airs over my chest and focusing on the ground. “I like your shirt.” Stupid Beck! I cursed myself silently.
“Thanks.” He responded, his tone unaffected. I walked away quickly.
“Garrison, WHY did you have to do that?” I scolded, doing my best not to hide the hurt.
“I just thought you should know him. You seemed to like him so why not introduce you two. You’ll be perfect together!” He smirked knowing I would be annoyed.
We went to stand in the lunch line when Garrison’s popular but annoying neighbor, Will, came to talk to us. Soon all of the guys that hung out with Garrison and Will had cut in the line and sure enough Guitar Guy came over. I still don’t know his name I thought I HAVE to ask Garrison later! Standing in a circle we laughed and joked but I avoided Guitar Guy until it was my turn to buy my lunch. Saying goodbye I went to sit with a few girls I sort of knew and quickly recounted what had just happened. None of them were impressed but it didn’t matter to me. This event had marked me.
The rest of the day I couldn’t shake the feeling that Guitar Guy and I had a connection. Sure I didn’t know him but he wore shirts of the bands I liked. He played Guitar. And He even hung out in the woods just like I did! When I got home and went to my room I stared at my fish, Alejandro.
“Why do I feel like this Alejandro?” I wondered aloud to my fish. “I guess it’s just girl likes boy but it feels like more than that. He likes Nirvana. And Nirvana runs deep in my heart. I guess that must be it. It’s probably just the music thing.” I concluded but I still couldn’t hide from the image of those green eyes.
“Beep. Beep. Beep.” My alarm clock shrilled waking me from my dreams. I remember vividly I had dreamed of going to a Parachute and Stereo Skyline concert. Stupid Alarm. At least it was Friday! Putting on my Nike shorts and grabbing my Walkman, (but not before putting in the new Cage the Elephant CD I was OBBSESSED with) I headed out the door and to the woods. That day I pushed myself hard. Time trials were next week and I was determined to be the best. When I got to his rock I didn’t hesitate but just kept running. But I couldn’t help looking and he was there as always leaning over the instrument, lost to the rest of the world. I ran by but this time he looked up. My cheeks flushed as I slowed down a little.
“Hey” He said. “Beck, Right?”